Tests to Find a Woman Who Won't Divorce

[Halwick]

2. If she wants to keep her own last name after marriage, that's a HUGE red flag

In some cultures, women keep their last names because China is clan-based. It's uncommon for a woman to change her last name in Chinese culture.

Japanese women from families without male heirs will also keep their last name to keep the family name going.

I once seriously dated a Japanese woman in exactly that situation and she didn't want to change her last name. She suggested I change MY last name to HERs so that her family name would continue. Problem is I don't have any brothers either to keep my surname going either. Needless to say, the relationship ended shortly thereafter.

[MrMan]

Good list.
Add: Put a broom near the front door as she enters and see what she does with it...or doesn't do with it. If she starts sweeping and cleaning up.....that's a good sign.
No woman I've invited to my house has touch it.

My wife's people group have some kind of tradition like that with a broom. I think the story goes when a male suitor comes over, they put a broom by the door as an indicator that the woman likes to clean, or something like that.

As an American, if I go to someone's house as a guest, if I go to their sink and start washing dishes, I might feel like I was violating their kitchen by using it without their permission. If it were family or close friends, that might be different.

I've noticed Indonesian women and Filippinas consider it good manners to wash dishes when they visit someone's house. A Japanese man and his Filippina wife came over and the wife helped my wife wash up when it is over. My wife doesn't like that other ethnicities of guests don't help or at least offer.

I don't know any culture where they come to your house for a casual visit (not staying there) and sweep your floor. Maybe if you had a big wedding party and they are helping you out, but not for a normal gathering, unless they made a mess and want to clean it themselves.

[MrMan]

Here is another test. Yet another true story.

I heard about a man who was married and his wife said she had some horrible disease that would leave her later on in life in a wheelchair, maybe a vegetable. I don't remember what it was. Maybe something like Parkinsons, but it would affect her when she was young.

She told him she wanted a divorce and moved back to his parents. He basically gave her the community property because he knew he could rebuild his life.

Years later, the man remarried an Asian woman he met online.

That's the test. Tell the story. If she doesn't comment, tell the story and ask what she thinks. If that doesn't work, as if she thinks the man made a good decision.

If it were me, I wouldn't marry a woman who thought he made the right choice. I'd say he should have insisted on staying with her 'in sickness' as he did in health and not remarried. That would be the answer I would be looking for from a potential wife.

I don't mind the idea of a wife who gets married after considering a lot of practical issues (earning a living, etc.) But a wife needs to stick with her husband if things get difficult, and vice versa.

I like this example because the wife is trying to be noble by leaving, and you can test that issue of empathy against ethical issues related to marriage.

[newlifeinphilippines]

but if she divorces him how could he stop her?

[newlifeinphilippines]

The biggest risk factor for divorce is any woman that grows up in a middle class or wealthy family. Basically, all the women in the Northern Hemisphere. These women have a divorce rate that's 5 times higher than poor women from third world countries. Also, avoid women from any country that has a low birth rate.

A good example of this is Kris Aquino(Philippines Oprah), Philippines President's sister, divorced twice in a country where divorce is illegal.

Kris Aquino
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQuSum8FBYY

all these guys on this forum keep saying go for educated and middle class women. personally i click the best with the extroverted girls who aren't that educated. They can have the saucy attitude girls.

[MrMan]

but if she divorces him how could he stop her?

Chances are you can talk her out of it? If she says she is "doing it for your sake", tell her not to bother, that you love her, would be miserable without her in your life and could not find happiness with another woman. She'll stay. If she insists on the divorce, maybe she doesn't do it for your sake but has other reasons. Maybe she did indeed not love you anymore.

One response to that is anger. "How dare you not consider me family?" And telling her you take the 'in sickness and in health' thing seriously. What kind of person do you think I am? Then tell her she'd better not say another word about divorce.

In the US, a woman can just up and legally divorce you. But I think a woman like that could be talked out of it rather easily.

[Ghost]

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[Array9]

There's a strong conservative/Puritan mindset towards sex on HA.

It's ok for a woman to have pre-marital sex, good grief.

Why settle for a car with high mileage, rust and worn out parts when you can afford to get a shiny new car that no man has had a chance to break in yet?

[Cornfed]

Here is another test. Yet another true story.

I heard about a man who was married and his wife said she had some horrible disease that would leave her later on in life in a wheelchair, maybe a vegetable. I don't remember what it was. Maybe something like Parkinsons, but it would affect her when she was young.

She told him she wanted a divorce and moved back to his parents. He basically gave her the community property because he knew he could rebuild his life.

Years later, the man remarried an Asian woman he met online.

That's the test. Tell the story. If she doesn't comment, tell the story and ask what she thinks. If that doesn't work, as if she thinks the man made a good decision.

If it were me, I wouldn't marry a woman who thought he made the right choice. I'd say he should have insisted on staying with her 'in sickness' as he did in health and not remarried. That would be the answer I would be looking for from a potential wife.

I don't mind the idea of a wife who gets married after considering a lot of practical issues (earning a living, etc.) But a wife needs to stick with her husband if things get difficult, and vice versa.

I like this example because the wife is trying to be noble by leaving, and you can test that issue of empathy against ethical issues related to marriage.

Just because a female thinks that he should stay married to her does not necessarily mean she thinks she should stay married to him if the roles were reversed.

[PeterAndrewNolan]

Marriage is no longer a serious institution. No man should take it seriously....certainly the women only take it seriously because of the money they can make.