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I spent Christmas Day with an extended family gathering. Unfortunately most of the gathering were geriatrics I had nothing in common with, along with a few depressing kids I also had nothing in common with who thankfully left early. Hence I ended up drinking and talking with a couple of female relatives in their early 40s, who unsurprisingly turned out to be somewhat psycho. The conversation was more like an ongoing shouted argument, but somewhat good natured. It was reasonably enjoyable. The trouble with a man drinking with multiple females is that they seem to be hard wired to gang up on him at some point.
For some reason, one of them punched me in the face at some point. After getting over the shock I went to hit her back, but the other one objected that while I did have a right to hit her it should be with an open hand, since me being a man would mean that me hitting her with a closed fist would do a lot more damage than her hitting me. This actually seemed perfectly reasonable, but I made a comment about thinking we were supposed to be equal, and then decided not to hit the female at all. Maybe next time.
Then at some point the second female decided to wrestle me to the ground (we were outside on the lawn). I thought I could easily control her, but she turned out to be super strong and skilled and I found myself in a kind of death match that I had to really struggle to win against an average sized, average looking female in her early 40s. Now, due to work pressures I haven’t been going to the gym a lot recently, and I was a little drunk, but this was still freaking ridiculous. I am not a weakling, or at least I didn't think so, but it is clear that if the female had had my muscle mass, she could have easily beaten me. It seemed so strange I began to suspect the female was some kind of government agent targeting me for my Internet posts, as has happened to other family members. But apparently although I hadn't met her before, she is a genuine relative.
She insisted she had won the fight and she only let me off because she didn]t want to injure me, so I said lets go at it again. After telling me to take off my boots and socks, which I did, we went at it and it was the same death match, which I eventually won, albeit at the expense of a few injuries, including a twisted nipple. I questioned her as to where she was trained, and she insisted that females were just like her now. Perhaps they are, with all the hormones and prescription drugs they are on. However, I recognized some of the techniques she was using and was able to get out of her that she had served in a high paying security role and had done numerous courses in holds and restrains, so that partly explains it.
So let this be a lesson to you all. We are not necessarily dealing with women in the West any more. We are just as likely to be dealing with monsters. Also, think twice before being the only man drinking with a group of females, as it can be hazardous to your health. Not that I'm complaining. They were at least intelligent and interesting females, and it was an interesting experience gained at the cost of only minor injuries.
2 posts • Page 1 of 1
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