Married at First Sight

[MrMan]

Has anyone seen this show? It's a show about four 'experts' who use 'scientific' methods to match up people who agree to marry without having met each other.

I have seen a fair amount of the shows about the couples from the first season. The episodes where they get married and immediately after are interesting, but kind of get less interesting as time goes on.

The first season, they had three couples. I can't tell if the guys are good-looking or not. But two of the women were nice looking, with maybe 8 or 9 faces or higher depending on one's preference. I didn't find the African American woman attractive, but that's typical for me. So people watch season one and the guys see that they matched up men with nice-looking women in the majority of cases. The first season, one of the pretty girls wasn't pleased with her husband's looks at all, and kept talking about not being attracted to him on camera. But over time, she fell in love with him. The other couples were attracted to each other. The Black couple couldn't get along. They tried to make the man out to be the bad guy, but the woman seemed hard to get along with to me.

I saw the first and second episode this season. Episode 2 was some kind of junk episode with people that didn't make the show. The first and second episodes show strangers meeting and getting married. It's funny, they had one bride this time who freaked out at her husbands looks. But this girl was really homely looking, maybe a 4. So it's kind of ironic. Maybe they matched them evenly on looks. The guy seemed okay with her for looks. He didn't seem that into looks, or maybe he knew what he said would be on TV.

The other two women were better looking. I'd say one of them, the Latina, is probably a 6 or 6+. The Indian woman may be a 7 or maybe an 8 (she may get a point for being in shape.) She was attracted to her husband. She said she wasn't going to kiss at the altar or have sex with her husband. She kissed him at the altar and seemed to be swooning over him. If he had any skill, he probably 'got lucky' on his wedding night.

Btw, I think that's kind of an unethical thing to do-- get married, even in an arranged marriage, and not have sex with your spouse on your wedding night. I don't know why some women think that's okay. That's just cruel, and aside from a wedding not timed well for menstruation or some sort of medical problem, or absolute exhaustion (from weddings that go to 2 AM after days of prep) that's a bad thing to do.

The 'experts' are a psychiatrist, sociologist, a sexologist and a 'spiritual adviser.' The spiritual advisor's background doesn't even have a real religion. He's a Humanist chaplain at Harvard. Something that feels unethical to me is to treat a couple's marriage like an 'experiment' and ask them after 5 weeks if they want to stay married or get a divorce, as if that is ethical.

If I were single, I wouldn't want these folks matching me up, much less to marry sight unseen. I wonder why people would go for this, especially if they have any expectations at all when it comes to looks.

[tom]

The in­sti­tu­tion of mar­riage might not have suc­cess­fully taken root un­less black­mail was com­mon in an­cient hu­man so­ci­eties.
http://www.world-science.net/exclusives ... ckmail.htm

To get a guy into marrage many forms of blackmale are commonly used in practice.
Scientific matchmaking does not work because far too many politically correct hypocrosies are a hindrence.

[jamesbond]

I have been watching this show from the very beginning of season one. Here is a brief video of one of the couples getting married AT FIRST SIGHT! This is the very first time the couples have met! This is NOT the best way to find a marriage partner!

[chanta76]

In human history and in many culture ARRANGE marriage was the NORM. Just this past century and mostly in the WEST romantic style marriage took over..but the thing about romantic marriage is that it is base upon emotion. Emotion changes ..and your feelings changes..

where as with arrange marriage is more of a practical approach toward a relationship.

[MrMan]

James Bond,

Those were some stupid nonsense vows, at least parts of them. Someone in that situation might be too stressed to think about it, but I was hoping someone would say, "No, I don't promise to support her in all she does. If she wants to do something stupid, I will oppose her, as I should, as her husband" or something like that.

It is interesting watching the wedding ceremonies and the weeks after it, but the show kind of gets less interesting when it goes into everyday life mode. I tried watching the followup show about their first year, and it's mildly better than watching paint dry.

[MrMan]

Chanta76,

Arranged marriages can work if there is a culture or subculture to support it. This TV type of arrange marriage has a lot going against it. For one thing, the 'experts' don't take it seriously.

Compare an arranged Indian couple to the couples here. If the bride decided she wasn't happy with the wedding and went to her parents about moving back home and not living as her husband's wife, likely the family would tell her to go back to her husband with advice to accept being a wife and try to counsel her to accept her new role in life.

But what do these 'experts' do? They flat out ask the couples if they want a divorce after five weeks. They call it an 'experiment' giving a flighty spouse an excuse to leave. I wish one of those husbands would be indignant and say, "Are you married? Do you want me to call up your husband/wife and ask them if they want to divorce you?"

That's a low-brow, low class thing to do, for a clinical psychologist or some sort of 'expert' to ask your spouse if they want a divorce, especially if it is out of the blue like that. It's not even a case where they come to the 'experts' asking about a divorce. I find that a trashy aspect of the show.

The other problem people in the US have is the stupid, ignorant, backward idea that people who are in arranged marriages who didn't 'fall in love' first aren't really in legitimate marriages. What an unethical and ethnocentric way of looking at reality. So if a western person does arrange marriage, the other party has to check to see if that person buys into the idea and accepts the marriage as legitimate.

One foolish thing about getting married on this show is the chance that they'll set you up with someone who doesn't take marriage even as seriously as the average divorce-prone American. They consider it an 'experiment' after not having success at dating. The 'experts' selling it don't take marriage as seriously as they should.

And usually, in an arranged marriage, your parents, who usually care deeply for you who have a stake in the success of your life, and actually know you, do the arranging. They consider values and temperament. Indian families interview prospects and their families, considering the family's values as well. It works partly because society doesn't accept bailing out on an arranged marriage over emotional considerations. Marriage is more than the feelings people feel.

I saw an episode of 'taboo' about child marriage in India. But I didn't see what was so ethical about it for the UN to condemn it (aside from the fact that this weddings were couched in idolatrous rituals). They aren't having the little kids have sex and the girl have a baby at 9 years old in her tiny body. It's more of a betrothal with a big party, where choice of spouse is locked in and a dowry is paid. Children are matched up with partners and move in together after another ceremony after age 16 or 17 or whatever age.

While supporting a wife at 16 would be difficult, being given a guilt-free, family accepted sex partner (wife) at that age, may do a lot to channel a young man's energies in the right direction.