Meeting women at swing dance events

[MattHanson1990]

Here's another observation about the US of Gay I'd like to share with you. I bet many of you have experienced it and Winston may have already covered this. But for those of you who are trying to make dating work stateside, even swing dance events are NOT good places to meet women. And I'm talking about when there's live big band music, and people are dancing on the dance floor. Unlike nightclubs, people don't stay huddled in their cliques, and the girls and are open to dancing with whoever asks them to dance with them. However, if you ask the girls you danced with to hang out with you, they'll tell you that they either have a boyfriend or aren't looking; sometimes they'll give you the "you'll find someone" cliché.

[WorldTraveler]

My friend's wife was into swing dancing and went all the time. She left him for a guy she met there who 10 years younger than her. So like everything else in the US it works for the women.

[fightforlove]

Dancing is good to develop confidence, leadership, and overcoming approach anxiety. It feels good once you get a feel for the music and can start pulling girls onto the dance floor. However, it's still not a surefire place to meet a girlfriend. The learning curve is a lot slower for men, the women are showered with attention, there are two types of girls you'll meet at dance socials: 1) experienced (but not necessarily great) dancers who will quickly beta zone you if you're not a great dancer, and 2) newbies who are checking the scene out, usually surrounded by friends and therefore hard to isolate and likely to never been found again in the scene. Also, a lot of dance scenes are just a half-notch above hardcore night clubs in terms of the kind of quality of women you'll find there.

If you're passionate about the music, take some Salsa/Swing/Ballroom classes, learn some passable competence, use it to boost your gutsy-ness at approaching women, then use it as an interesting talking point when meeting women outside of the dance scene.

[MattHanson1990]

Also, a lot of dance scenes are just a half-notch above hardcore night clubs in terms of the kind of quality of women you'll find there.

When I went to a couple dance events last year, not only was the music far more soulful compared to degenerate rap or bland pop music. The women didn't dress slutty at all; they dressed way better than gals who go clubbing.

And because the whole environment was soulful unlike nightclubs, it really helped me with how I approach women.

[MrMan]

Are the 'girls' at swing dance events in their 80's and 90's?

[MattHanson1990]

Are the 'girls' at swing dance events in their 80's and 90's?

Most were in their upper 20's to early 30's.

[BenT]

I've done ballroom for seven years. Everyone is very cliquish, anti-social, and old. The better the woman is at dancing, the more fake she is. The swing dance scene in my area has so much more energy, but is hyper-cliquish and have absolutely crap technique.

From what I've seen, the second a woman gets private lessons, she's undateable. Unless you're her pro, you'll never be good enough. The problem is that it's effortless to learn how to follow a good lead. It takes years and commitment to learn how to lead. So you're struggling with perfecting Bronze patterns while she's of dancing gold competition in a year. You better believe she will never be satisfied with you unless you're as good as her pro or better... Even if you are better, you'll probably still get to listen to her whine about how her instructor does it differently. (i.e. wrong.)

I will say that Ballroom is where I've seen the most stunningly beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. She was a pro-dancer at a competition in DC. Eastern European, the most graceful being I've ever seen in my life. It's not that she walked, the world moved beneath her feet.