Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss and talk about any general topic.
1 post • Page 1 of 1
Thinking back, as a new husband, I missed a lot of opportunities to train my wife and direct things the way I wanted them to go in marriage. It took me quite a while to realize I was supposed to be leading this thing. I was a very kind young husband, but I didn't really take charge, and I wish I would have early on. I think that would have made it a bit easier for my wife to follow. Still, she realizes it is good for me to lead, and has occasionally told me this.
I'm thinking of some kind of politically incorrect things I could have trained my wife about. I married an Indonesian virgin in her 20's, still kind of innocent in her thinking. My wife is a kind of driven person, a go-getter, and a social butterfly. She's a great gal. But the along with being that type of person comes the temptation to be headstrong at times. We got along so great before the kids came along that I scarcely saw any hint of it.
We had like two years of honeymoon. Aside from times of illness or travel (and sleeping on a crowded floor and stuff like that), I got some kind of sexual release every night or afternoon after we got married. I didn't get it when my wife had a fever for a week or so, that was just shy of dengue. But actually, before the hospital released her over her platelet count, we did it in a hospital room. I set up a curtain behind us. The nurses wouldn't give me a key, but said they wouldn't go in. I guess they knew what we were up to.
During that Honeymoon period, especially when the marriage was knew, my wife sure wanted to please me. If you marry a girl who is like that, she may not be in that mode forever, so get her used to stuff you like. But I was thinking I could have trained her a bit more in the area of sexuality, gotten her used to multiple times a day. That has been a real rarity. I could have taught her to 'Canadian rape' me. I read that the Canadian Supreme Court decided that initiating sex while someone was asleep was rape. What an intrusive decision into the private lives of Canadians. I don't live in Canada, but I would appreciate waking up full blown in the middle of the act. She has awakened me with some rather kind affection that led to the act, but not the act itself.
As far as housework goes, my wife is pretty good and taking care of that, especially cooking. I was fortunately to not to have to train her. Maybe I could have just given her a few orders every now and then to train her in obedience. That's a good thing to do early in marriage, as long as you are benevolent about it. We had a very low-conflict relationship, so there weren't a lot of opportunities that I can think of where I could have trained her to yield her will and submit. But maybe I wasn't looking for them.
My wife, early in our marriage, was good about bringing up difficult topics, "Do you mind if I ask you something?" followed by a discussion of the topic, if she has a grievance with me, for example. She hasn't always been that gentle about it, and I've had to encourage her to get back to the gentle way of bringing up issues. She's pretty easy to get along with these days. But it seemed like she started off really easy to get along with, got a little harder to get along with, and matured so she's easier to deal with again.
Anyway, I'm sure there are a lot of areas in which men may need to train a new bride to be a good wife early on, setting the pattern right eary in the marriage for the future. Feel free to chime in with other ideas.