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as cyrus so rightly pointed out - that women in general, both in taiwan and usa, would prefer a guy who would hold a steady job to be considered a dating material or, possibly, a potential marriage; or they'd prefer to meet you outside of a class, if she liked you. but i dont know of that whether it would be the case in europe or phillipines.
could it be that, in europe or phillipines, girls are more romantic and more open to the guys who haven't held a steady job to be considered a possible dating material - could it be even possible that the social vibes or dating scenes in those regions are to be more diversified, as the Master Wu has described time and again in many occasions?
but i'm making a general assumption here about taiwan and usa, and, i'm sure, there could be the exceptions and/or some occasions that girls would go out with you under certain circumstances in these two countries - since i mainly resides in taiwan, the southern part of it, and, briefly, in Los Angeles in the past.
I think one thing is in the "third world" countries, regarding steady jobs, it's very possible for your "side hustle" to make more than a real job there, without a lot of effort. I really wanna get my girlfriend working selling things on ebay as she'd be making about 4x the money with 1/3-1/2 the hours she puts in at her real job there.
I had a big post here in this thread and deleted it. But basically, the biggest thing, as cliched as it sounds, is hobbies and interests in common. Even if people are friendly enough to strike up conversations at coffee shops or whatever, without shared interests/hobbies/something you can't make a relationship go too far as there's quite little you can talk about or do together. The problem more in USA is people are quite paranoid of each other, and it's very hard to make relationships... stick, for lack of a better term. As in, people just stop talking suddenly, as people are afraid of being "awkward" or people bottle up perceived slights and are so incredibly self conscious and socially anxious. In USA you'd be surprised at the number of people you meet now that seem "normal" but claim social anxiety, simply because social engineering to be "cool" is so high here.
But as far as Winston, obviously he has this website, and various political and social opinions. Thing is, people mostly don't care about other people's political and social opinions, and while generally you want people more in common with you than not for opinions, I don't think you can totally base a relationship off that. For me, most of my friendships are kind of... activity based. Doing things together. Whether it's cooking, working on a car or bike, hiking, exercising, whatever. This doesn't mean sign up for bowling league for example if you hate bowling, but find something you'd like enough to keep doing alone, and you'll (probably) make friends or at least acquaintances from doing it. This doesn't even have to be a traditionally social activity, for me even in my neighborhood, I've at least gotten introduced to a lot of my neighbors from working on my car and them walking by and asking what's going on, and them lending me a tool, helping me with something, or vice versa. It can be this way with a lot of things, even building computers or messing with electronic stuff.
This is not saying my social life is good in USA, it's actually not, because over the years my friends have gotten incredibly boring and just sit at home and play video games while I have the desire to do stuff. They all act like decrepit housebound old men in their late 20s, whereas at least in Taiwan people go outside and meet in public and do things together. I also think overall in USA, it's a bit harder to make friends after high school or college for a variety of reasons, though not impossible, but truthfully most adults I know of Winston's general age actually have very few friends, as they just ran out of their old high school, college, etc, friends, and never bothered making new ones. However, some guys like my dad are always making new friends, because they do stuff like work on cars, whatever.
Most don't. But say they do. If you can't have the American dream, at least make people think you do!
Says the intellectual guy who can't make friends - ever with people. I'm going to be honest I've never ever had that problem you talk about. If you want to talk to someone, do it... I met random people, chatted up cashiers, made friends wherever I went..... I didn't keep those friends for long term for various reasons. You have to accept that you need to stop being an obstinate ass, and change your attitude.
People that complain constantly I noticed, no one likes to be around; do you know why? Because they are anti life, they expect the world to bend to what they've set and not the other way around. You have such a stinking negative attitude.
I gave up being an "intellectual" because it got me nowhere...just like you are nowhere. Maybe, try what I'm saying and you won't be such an anti-social bore to hang out with, and you"ll be seen as positive. You'll get girls by the boatload with this positive energy, emotional ability to connect.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
I think making (or NOT making) friends in an America centers around our culture of fear and arrogance. Because, as Winston mentioned, what should be regular avenues for starting friendships (like work or parties) are off-limits, normal people must first take extra time to evaluate whether you are friend material. In America, almost every stranger is considered a psychotic rapist until proven otherwise, so before you can make a friend you'll have to keep being seen by someone and also appear as nonthreatening as possible. You also can't appear to be too "different," since America's culture of arrogance makes the average person intolerant and threatened by different viewpoints and lifestyles.
So, while it takes normal people a while to make friends in America, they do make friends eventually. But for the abnormal people who don't fit into any stereotype, we are seen potential murderers and/or threats to the American way of life, so we rarely pass the friendship test.
Last edited by CB8 on December 26th, 2016, 5:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Exactly this is why it is important to develop as a person - not just rely on broad sweeping generalizations and start THINKING in those things, about America and everywhere else. If you're personable, you'll make friends, it's that simple. Winston isn't personable. I wasn't before either - but for different reasons, I was too highly controlling, and really didn't want to make new friends. Winston is too afraid and cautious and people interpret that badly.
Not the universes fault.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
Heh. As I've been talking to more people I find this is very true with younger people. Older people are more likely to outright say if they're single or don't have any real friends, but younger people will start getting shifty-eyed and awkward if you ask what they're doing for the weekend. It's kind of funny, but it does make you wonder just how many Americans actually have a genuine social life out there.