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How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in America?

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longzing
Freshman Poster
Posts: 16
Joined: October 28th, 2015, 7:12 am

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by longzing » December 25th, 2016, 7:38 pm

as cyrus so rightly pointed out - that women in general, both in taiwan and usa, would prefer a guy who would hold a steady job to be considered a dating material or, possibly, a potential marriage; or they'd prefer to meet you outside of a class, if she liked you. but i dont know of that whether it would be the case in europe or phillipines.

could it be that, in europe or phillipines, girls are more romantic and more open to the guys who haven't held a steady job to be considered a possible dating material - could it be even possible that the social vibes or dating scenes in those regions are to be more diversified, as the Master Wu has described time and again in many occasions?

but i'm making a general assumption here about taiwan and usa, and, i'm sure, there could be the exceptions and/or some occasions that girls would go out with you under certain circumstances in these two countries - since i mainly resides in taiwan, the southern part of it, and, briefly, in Los Angeles in the past.
@ Women, if you don't push her to do haircut in your way, you'd probably get pretty good haircut from her;
but if you do, hehe, you'd probably not appreciate the result




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onethousandknives
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Posts: 469
Joined: January 26th, 2013, 12:35 am

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by onethousandknives » December 25th, 2016, 11:06 pm

longzing wrote:as cyrus so rightly pointed out - that women in general, both in taiwan and usa, would prefer a guy who would hold a steady job to be considered a dating material or, possibly, a potential marriage; or they'd prefer to meet you outside of a class, if she liked you. but i dont know of that whether it would be the case in europe or phillipines.

could it be that, in europe or phillipines, girls are more romantic and more open to the guys who haven't held a steady job to be considered a possible dating material - could it be even possible that the social vibes or dating scenes in those regions are to be more diversified, as the Master Wu has described time and again in many occasions?

but i'm making a general assumption here about taiwan and usa, and, i'm sure, there could be the exceptions and/or some occasions that girls would go out with you under certain circumstances in these two countries - since i mainly resides in taiwan, the southern part of it, and, briefly, in Los Angeles in the past.
I think one thing is in the "third world" countries, regarding steady jobs, it's very possible for your "side hustle" to make more than a real job there, without a lot of effort. I really wanna get my girlfriend working selling things on ebay as she'd be making about 4x the money with 1/3-1/2 the hours she puts in at her real job there.

I had a big post here in this thread and deleted it. But basically, the biggest thing, as cliched as it sounds, is hobbies and interests in common. Even if people are friendly enough to strike up conversations at coffee shops or whatever, without shared interests/hobbies/something you can't make a relationship go too far as there's quite little you can talk about or do together. The problem more in USA is people are quite paranoid of each other, and it's very hard to make relationships... stick, for lack of a better term. As in, people just stop talking suddenly, as people are afraid of being "awkward" or people bottle up perceived slights and are so incredibly self conscious and socially anxious. In USA you'd be surprised at the number of people you meet now that seem "normal" but claim social anxiety, simply because social engineering to be "cool" is so high here.

But as far as Winston, obviously he has this website, and various political and social opinions. Thing is, people mostly don't care about other people's political and social opinions, and while generally you want people more in common with you than not for opinions, I don't think you can totally base a relationship off that. For me, most of my friendships are kind of... activity based. Doing things together. Whether it's cooking, working on a car or bike, hiking, exercising, whatever. This doesn't mean sign up for bowling league for example if you hate bowling, but find something you'd like enough to keep doing alone, and you'll (probably) make friends or at least acquaintances from doing it. This doesn't even have to be a traditionally social activity, for me even in my neighborhood, I've at least gotten introduced to a lot of my neighbors from working on my car and them walking by and asking what's going on, and them lending me a tool, helping me with something, or vice versa. It can be this way with a lot of things, even building computers or messing with electronic stuff.

This is not saying my social life is good in USA, it's actually not, because over the years my friends have gotten incredibly boring and just sit at home and play video games while I have the desire to do stuff. They all act like decrepit housebound old men in their late 20s, whereas at least in Taiwan people go outside and meet in public and do things together. I also think overall in USA, it's a bit harder to make friends after high school or college for a variety of reasons, though not impossible, but truthfully most adults I know of Winston's general age actually have very few friends, as they just ran out of their old high school, college, etc, friends, and never bothered making new ones. However, some guys like my dad are always making new friends, because they do stuff like work on cars, whatever.

gravity25x
Freshman Poster
Posts: 127
Joined: December 9th, 2016, 8:49 pm

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by gravity25x » December 25th, 2016, 11:21 pm

"How do normal people make friends or get dates in America?"
Most don't. But say they do. :lol: If you can't have the American dream, at least make people think you do! 8)

Eric
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1297
Joined: March 20th, 2016, 4:07 am

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by Eric » December 25th, 2016, 11:30 pm

Winston wrote:
jamesbond wrote:I do think that a lot of people in the US do make their friends in high school and college and some meet their future spouse while they are in school. The others, just rely on their friends to introduce them to someone.
Maybe high school. But I don't think most couples in the US formed in high school. And as for college, I doubt it because when I got to college, the girl didn't want to socialize with you outside of school. They only talked about school stuff. But outside of school, you were just a stranger. If I asked girls out in college, they acted upset as if I crossed the line. I had some luck with foreign girls though, such as my Vietnamese girlfriend. But not the white girls. There was no free flowing social vibe in either college or high school. So that doesn't solve my riddle.
Eric wrote:I think this has been a particular obsession for you. It's the same everywhere - you just talk to people. Smile, and be engaged and open. Lead with your heart, don't worry bout all that shit...

You're overcomplicating it with rules and expectations. Just go in simply, live. Laugh, love...find others that should do the same.

It's really that easy, happy people are happy everywhere. Miserable people are miserable everywhere, just live with your dreams and, be happy.
Eric, I thought you were an intellectual. Why are you full of shit now? You can't just smile and be open and make friends in America. WTF are you smoking? If it was that easy, no one would be lonely in America. Duh. Stupid. Why are there so many imbeciles in this forum? I thought this forum attracts intellectuals and freethinkers. Yet Eric's post is one of the dumbest here.

Why don't you try that Eric. See if you make friends that way. See if people invite you out. You are in for a big shock. Have you been to America or Taiwan? No honest person there will claim it's easy to make friends or meet people.

Says the intellectual guy who can't make friends - ever with people. I'm going to be honest I've never ever had that problem you talk about. If you want to talk to someone, do it... I met random people, chatted up cashiers, made friends wherever I went..... I didn't keep those friends for long term for various reasons. You have to accept that you need to stop being an obstinate ass, and change your attitude.
People that complain constantly I noticed, no one likes to be around; do you know why? Because they are anti life, they expect the world to bend to what they've set and not the other way around. You have such a stinking negative attitude.

I gave up being an "intellectual" because it got me nowhere...just like you are nowhere. Maybe, try what I'm saying and you won't be such an anti-social bore to hang out with, and you"ll be seen as positive. You'll get girls by the boatload with this positive energy, emotional ability to connect.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.

CB8
Freshman Poster
Posts: 35
Joined: April 24th, 2016, 9:32 pm

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by CB8 » December 26th, 2016, 2:22 am

I think making (or NOT making) friends in an America centers around our culture of fear and arrogance. Because, as Winston mentioned, what should be regular avenues for starting friendships (like work or parties) are off-limits, normal people must first take extra time to evaluate whether you are friend material. In America, almost every stranger is considered a psychotic rapist until proven otherwise, so before you can make a friend you'll have to keep being seen by someone and also appear as nonthreatening as possible. You also can't appear to be too "different," since America's culture of arrogance makes the average person intolerant and threatened by different viewpoints and lifestyles.

So, while it takes normal people a while to make friends in America, they do make friends eventually. But for the abnormal people who don't fit into any stereotype, we are seen potential murderers and/or threats to the American way of life, so we rarely pass the friendship test.
Last edited by CB8 on December 26th, 2016, 5:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Eric
Experienced Poster
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Joined: March 20th, 2016, 4:07 am

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by Eric » December 26th, 2016, 4:06 am

Exactly this is why it is important to develop as a person - not just rely on broad sweeping generalizations and start THINKING in those things, about America and everywhere else. If you're personable, you'll make friends, it's that simple. Winston isn't personable. I wasn't before either - but for different reasons, I was too highly controlling, and really didn't want to make new friends. Winston is too afraid and cautious and people interpret that badly.

Not the universes fault.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.

CB8
Freshman Poster
Posts: 35
Joined: April 24th, 2016, 9:32 pm

Re: How do "normal" people make friends or get dates in Amer

Post by CB8 » December 26th, 2016, 5:11 am

gravity25x wrote:
"How do normal people make friends or get dates in America?"
Most don't. But say they do. :lol: If you can't have the American dream, at least make people think you do! 8)
Heh. As I've been talking to more people I find this is very true with younger people. Older people are more likely to outright say if they're single or don't have any real friends, but younger people will start getting shifty-eyed and awkward if you ask what they're doing for the weekend. It's kind of funny, but it does make you wonder just how many Americans actually have a genuine social life out there.

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