What It Means To Be A Good Father

[Pixel--Dude]

This is just a quick one which I plan on elaborating on at a later time. @WilliamSmith and I had a conversation about having kids and what it means to be a good father. I've decided to make the thread so we can discuss this until he returns from his trip to the Bermuda Triangle.

@MarcosZeitola and @MrMan are the only guys I can think of right now who are fathers. How do you two find parenting? What do you think makes a father a good father?

@Outcast9428, I know you don't have kids of your own, but from what I remember you speak very highly of your own father. Perhaps you can weigh in a little about what it means to be a good father from the perspective of the child in the parent-child relationship?

[MrMan]

I think there is always more I can do to be a better father.

I am around... that's a plus for being a good father. I did come home late a lot when I was in grad school, and sometimes wish I had some of that time back. I'd often lead a Bible study with the kids when I came home, spending time together. We tend to eat dinner together just about every night. It's most nights, but since the kids got older, one of them working or whatever can interrupt that pattern, and I might get home late a couple of nights a week after they have eaten, but we still pray together and night and spend time together.

I think my wife and I have done a good job of conveying a lot of values to our kids. Our kids aren't into the 'woke' agenda. We are strict about dating, etc.

[kangarunner]

I think my wife and I have done a good job of conveying a lot of values to our kids.

And what are those values?

I'd also like to hear from the men here who are fathers how it has changed you as a person.

[Lucas88]

This is just a quick one which I plan on elaborating on at a later time. @WilliamSmith and I had a conversation about having kids and what it means to be a good father. I've decided to make the thread so we can discuss this until he returns from his trip to the Bermuda Triangle.

@MarcosZeitola and @MrMan are the only guys I can think of right now who are fathers. How do you two find parenting? What do you think makes a father a good father?

@Outcast9428, I know you don't have kids of your own, but from what I remember you speak very highly of your own father. Perhaps you can weigh in a little about what it means to be a good father from the perspective of the child in the parent-child relationship?

I think that a good father takes the time to impart to his children his own wisdom pertaining to life, give them advice wherever necessary, and teach them valuable skills and knowledge such as combat techniques, diet and fitness, arts, how to read books, computer skills, finances, social skills, etc.

I also believe that good fathers teach their sons about dating girls and even take them to brothels from the age of 15 so that they can gain sexual experience and learn how to appreciate the female body. That's what I'd do if ever I had sons.

[Outcast9428]

I really admire my dad because of his incredible commitment to being as good of a man as possible. He has told me that back when he was a teenager, he intentionally made friends with the kids that his peers thought were too weird. That he wanted to be the friend for them. He has never once, in the entire time that I was a child, spanked me. I have never seen him so much as raise his voice at my mother. He treats her like she is the greatest treasure in the world to him. He constantly calls her cute and makes affectionate comments towards her. She is the only woman he has ever slept with, and I know for a fact that he would never cheat on her. My dad was the provider in our family, my mom stayed at home and homeschooled me. He is incredibly intelligent and actually scored 136 on an IQ test once.

I like that my dad is really determined to be nice, moral, and gentle... But is also willing to take a really hardline stance against evil itself. I remember telling him once how disturbed I was by the sadomasochism epidemic going on that I saw amongst girls my age. And he said "that stuff is completely sick, I don't care if every one of your peers says they like it, that stuff is pure evil, and you need to find a girl who isn't into that." I told him I'd rather die then do that to a girl and he said "that's understandable." He went on to add "it really disturbs me how many people nowadays seem to need an in-depth explanation as for why obviously immoral stuff is wrong."

I was so happy that, for once, somebody just took a completely black and white stance on the issue. No "oh we need to be nuanced, this is a more complicated situation then you're making it out to be!" No "oh but if she consents to being slapped, how can you say that's wrong?" None of that "well if she just wants to be spanked, then how could you be against that?" I was so happy that somebody backed me up in saying "no this is just f***ing wrong, there's no nuance to this situation, people should not be doing any of that. End of discussion!"

My father has been a shining example my whole life of what true conservatism/traditionalism looks like. I still think my dad should be more authoritarian towards liberalism/leftism, but when it comes to the way he lives his life, and conducts himself... You really cannot be more conservative then my dad is.

My dad has also shown me, how traditional masculinity can be very caring, gentle, and even nurturing. It doesn't look the same as feminine nurturing, masculine nurturing is more leadership oriented and about inspiring and developing good traits/behaviors in the people around you. But masculinity can still be quite nurturing. Nobody who meets him would be able to call him effeminate. But he has never acted like, in order to be a man, you have to be tough, violent, aggressive, and promiscuous. He never acted like being a man was about hating everything that was soft and warm the way some people act like. As if enjoying anything that's cute and cuddly is "gay." He showed me a form of masculinity where you learn to enjoy your duties, responsibilities, and leadership position in order to help everyone you care about grow as a person and lead them towards greater happiness then they would've had if they'd never met you.

[Pixel--Dude]

I think my wife and I have done a good job of conveying a lot of values to our kids.

And what are those values?

I'd also like to hear from the men here who are fathers how it has changed you as a person.

I never wanted to be a father. I always thought I am too irresponsible and inept to raise a child. I have trouble adapting to big changes and I also have had problems with my mental health, which I thought would severely impair my ability to be a good father. I always thought I am better off not having children because I don't want to bring a kid into this world, and to be honest I still feel some guilt about having a child even though I know how shit this society is and how likely it is she will struggle integrating into a system which is so hostile to the soul.

However, I am thankful that I have my daughter. She gave me a greater sense of purpose. Becoming a father improved my patience (even though some people here might disagree and argue that I have no patience, and for them in particular this is true ) I've surprised myself actually. Many people tell me I am a fantastic father and I would like to think so. I've changed massively since having a child, but I'm much better off for it. I think there would be a bit of a void in my life without her. I don't have a partner, haven't had one for over a year and since I've become more reclusive and have to travel to the other end of the UK to collect my child it seems unlikely that I will ever have time to invest in a relationship with another woman anyway.

It's a double edged sword really having a child, it can be very difficult at times, but at the same time it can be one of the most rewarding experiences ever. Best advice I could ever offer to aspiring fathers out there is: f***ing wing it, man

[MarcosZeitola]

I think my wife and I have done a good job of conveying a lot of values to our kids.

And what are those values?

I'd also like to hear from the men here who are fathers how it has changed you as a person.

I never wanted to be a father. I always thought I am too irresponsible and inept to raise a child. I have trouble adapting to big changes and I also have had problems with my mental health, which I thought would severely impair my ability to be a good father. I always thought I am better off not having children because I don't want to bring a kid into this world, and to be honest I still feel some guilt about having a child even though I know how shit this society is and how likely it is she will struggle integrating into a system which is so hostile to the soul.

However, I am thankful that I have my daughter. She gave me a greater sense of purpose. Becoming a father improved my patience (even though some people here might disagree and argue that I have no patience, and for them in particular this is true ) I've surprised myself actually. Many people tell me I am a fantastic father and I would like to think so. I've changed massively since having a child, but I'm much better off for it. I think there would be a bit of a void in my life without her. I don't have a partner, haven't had one for over a year and since I've become more reclusive and have to travel to the other end of the UK to collect my child it seems unlikely that I will ever have time to invest in a relationship with another woman anyway.

It's a double edged sword really having a child, it can be very difficult at times, but at the same time it can be one of the most rewarding experiences ever. Best advice I could ever offer to aspiring fathers out there is: f***ing wing it, man

Yeah, that's pretty solid advice, man. Been "winging it" for a while now, and so far, it's been absolutely wonderful. As for what it takes to be a good father? Not all that much, really... you just need to be present, to some degree, and talk a lot to the kids especially when they're little so they will develop good verbal skills, which is always a big plus. Also I find that too many parents focus overly much on a child's academic performance, whereas I am of the belief that the development of social skills is far for vital to someone's future success; a lot of jobs are obtained, after all, through word of mouth and I want my children to have rich and rewarding social lives, as opposed to simply having good skills but otherwise just being loners.

A good father, to me, is someone who knows how to strike the right balance when it comes to raising children. He will be strict when needed and never a pushover, but he won't be a drill sargeant either yelling at the little ones like a madman. He'll be the guy who "brings home the bacon" and finds time to spend with his offspring on the side. He's perfectly fine not going out with his mates as much or not spending as much time as he used to on his hobbies, as the children are number one for him. He certainly won't play videogames and smoke weed, get drunk frequently and act like he's still some teenager... the main component to fatherhood, I feel, is a sense of maturity. You got to have your priorities in order, and "family" should be pretty damn high on that list for things to work out satisfactory.

[Tsar]

I didn't have a good father or a good family. No one talked with me. I was ignored, left alone, couldn't talk with my parents, my parents never helped me, and rarely encouraged me. Honestly, it was like I didn't even have a father because I really didn't. My parents were useless, stupid, ignorant, naive, and terrible (as parents).

I want children because I want to prove that I can be a great parent and my success will be a reflection that it's my father, parents, and family that failed me.

I would teach my children to be assertive and aggressive if necessary. To punch bullies back harder if necessary. I would be there for them and work on developing their talents.

Similar to what @MarcosZeitola mentioned, I also believe that social skills are much more important than education. I would focus on having children do activities to increase their social skills, confidence, and popularity.

I wouldn't ever do physical punishment and I would never be aggressive. I would be diplomatic and calm. Consequences would be more like sanctions, so they can be escalated and never be aggressive.

I would also be a cool parent. I would let my children have a drink or weed if they're teens. If they wanted to skip a day once a month then I would cover for them, especially if they wanted to play video games or see a movie or go to a restaurant with me. They could talk with me about almost anything.

There's honestly not much that gets me angry.

I would never insult a child or talk down to a child or make a child cry.

I would encourage any sons to find a girl and have sex with her as soon as possible. It's because it's better to get a girl that's a virgin. Daughters would preferably stay virgins and marry young. It's too easy for girls to become sluts once they start having sex.

Parents who are tyrants, feared, or control freaks are terrible parents. Parents who physically hurt a child are terrible parents. Parents who emotionally hurt a child are terrible parents. Parents who are absent are terrible parents. Parents who don't make time for children are terrible parents.

I imagine that I would be a great parent and be loved. I would prove to myself that I was a success and prove that my parents were failures who destroyed my life, destroyed my chances at success in life, and that my parents were total losers, and that my parents were terrible parents. I have hated my father all my life and especially since I was a teenager, and I would often wish him dead since I was a teenager. I have wished my father was dead every single day since 2020 even if I don't think about him at all.

I want to be a father whose children would miss me, mourn my death, and genuinely feel sadness when I die. I want to be respected, loved, and remembered by my children. I want to be a father whose children will talk about me in positive ways and have fond memories of me when I am gone. Children who talk about how great I was and how I was fun, the best, and a good influence in their lives. Children who are proud to have me as a father and value me as a person. I want children who are happy to have me in their life.

[Pixel--Dude]

This is just a quick one which I plan on elaborating on at a later time. @WilliamSmith and I had a conversation about having kids and what it means to be a good father. I've decided to make the thread so we can discuss this until he returns from his trip to the Bermuda Triangle.

@MarcosZeitola and @MrMan are the only guys I can think of right now who are fathers. How do you two find parenting? What do you think makes a father a good father?

@Outcast9428, I know you don't have kids of your own, but from what I remember you speak very highly of your own father. Perhaps you can weigh in a little about what it means to be a good father from the perspective of the child in the parent-child relationship?

I think that a good father takes the time to impart to his children his own wisdom pertaining to life, give them advice wherever necessary, and teach them valuable skills and knowledge such as combat techniques, diet and fitness, arts, how to read books, computer skills, finances, social skills, etc.

I also believe that good fathers teach their sons about dating girls and even take them to brothels from the age of 15 so that they can gain sexual experience and learn how to appreciate the female body. That's what I'd do if ever I had sons.

I agree with you. Imparting wisdom upon my daughter is something I strive for. I try to teach her good lessons that are within the scope of her understanding. She's only 5 so some more complex issues she would never understand. I've taught her some basic self defence techniques and told her that she should always strive to be kind and compassionate towards others, but at the same time not to take shit from little snots who would try to give her a hard time.

I never spank my kid. I think of other ways to discipline her. I read in a psychology paper that spanking kids teaches them subconsciously that violence is the best way to resolve conflict. I don't know if this is true, but I wouldn't like to hit my kid anyway. Even so, I've taught her how to block and how to jab and punch. Self defence is a virtue.

She helps me cook and I try to stick to making healthy meals. I explain to her the importance of a healthy diet and what not. Nobody wants a Daddy Pig belly now, do they? But I don't push my vegetarian views onto her. If she wants chicken I will make her chicken. The only time I've mentioned why I don't eat meat is when she has explicitly asked me, then I am completely honest with her.

[MrMan]

I think my wife and I have done a good job of conveying a lot of values to our kids.

And what are those values?

I'd also like to hear from the men here who are fathers how it has changed you as a person.

We teach them about faith in God, loving God, loving their neighbor, how to treat each other as brother and sister, to be good to to other people. We teach them to live sexually moral lifestyles, what to look for in a spouse. We also teach practical stuff. I taught one to drive and will be teaching the next one. We teach them to work and be responsible.

These aren't values, but two of our girls know how to cook. Their food is really good, too. My son can grill steak and burgers and not much else. I have him do repairs, mechanical stuff, etc. around the house. Three out of four kids have nearly straight As. One got a C in a non-academic class offered online during Covid and a B in one other class.

I white guy I went to church with who married an Indonesian woman about a year before I did when we both lived in Indonesia had children before I did. He said before he had children, he never realized how selfish he was. I found that having a baby taught me to be more patient. It teaches you to be attentive. It is a major ordeal. Your wife gives birth, which is damaging and exhausting. Then she has to feed the baby every two hours or so. Sometimes they wake up for diaper changes. So I'd get up and change diapers and stuff like that. She would get up a lot, too. But if wasn't for feeding, she needed to rest. It's amazing to have this little child, but it sure is exhausting. It seems like the first one was the most work because you have to get used to it.

Marriage did this to me a bit. If I had food, I'd just eat all of it. But after marriage, and later having kids, I think more in terms of sharing what I have. If I opened a bag of chips, I'd offer it to other people in the family. You can think of that as sort of a metaphor that extends beyond a bag of chips.

[MrMan]

This is just a quick one which I plan on elaborating on at a later time. @WilliamSmith and I had a conversation about having kids and what it means to be a good father. I've decided to make the thread so we can discuss this until he returns from his trip to the Bermuda Triangle.

@MarcosZeitola and @MrMan are the only guys I can think of right now who are fathers. How do you two find parenting? What do you think makes a father a good father?

@Outcast9428, I know you don't have kids of your own, but from what I remember you speak very highly of your own father. Perhaps you can weigh in a little about what it means to be a good father from the perspective of the child in the parent-child relationship?

I think that a good father takes the time to impart to his children his own wisdom pertaining to life, give them advice wherever necessary, and teach them valuable skills and knowledge such as combat techniques, diet and fitness, arts, how to read books, computer skills, finances, social skills, etc.

I also believe that good fathers teach their sons about dating girls and even take them to brothels from the age of 15 so that they can gain sexual experience and learn how to appreciate the female body. That's what I'd do if ever I had sons.

You don't have to teach a boy to appreciate the female body. They pick that up on their own, usually. You give him affirmation from a father when he is young and he probably won't eroticize male attention, and then you teach him not to be gay and teach him good sexual ethics because there are those at school, in media, etc. actively trying to teach the kids their evil 'values.'

Would you take your daughters to the whorehouse to give it a go there? If not, why would you want to take your son(s) to do that stuff with other men's daughters. That's the kind of place a boy can pick up some diseases for life. I read about this was this guy who as a child was in a blacksploitation film where his character was raised in a brother. There was a scene where he, as a 10-year-old or whatever he was, had sex with a prostitute. He claimed he really had sex with the woman at his father's direction for that scene, and that he got VD doing it. I don't know his exact age, but imagine growing up from a prepubescent having an STD all your life because your dad set that up. And think about it.

What if you had some grandkid produced through this that would be raised in a whorehouse? If you keep going to them when you are old, you could end up having sex with your grand daughter. You could even end up having sex with your daughter if you kept going to the whorehouse. That won't happy to me because I know who all my biological descendants are.

I talk to my son about what kind of woman to marry. He's kind of chill, and his mom is a bit of a tiger mamma, so I think he wants someone a bit more laid back to be his wife than his mom, but he recognizes traits he wants in a wife as well.

[Cornfed]

Would you take your daughters to the whorehouse to give it a go there?

You seem to have really imbibed the Satanic cult belief of treating people as androgenous.

[MrMan]

Would you take your daughters to the whorehouse to give it a go there?

You seem to have really imbibed the Satanic cult belief of treating people as androgenous.

Huh? I wouldn't want my daughters working in a whorehouse, so why would I take my son to have sex with someone else's daughter who works in a whorehouse?

If you want to apply the golden rule only to white males, you still shouldn't do it.

I Thessalonians 4
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

[Cornfed]

Would you take your daughters to the whorehouse to give it a go there?

You seem to have really imbibed the Satanic cult belief of treating people as androgenous.

Huh? I wouldn't want my daughters working in a whorehouse, so why would I take my son to have sex with someone else's daughter who works in a whorehouse?

If you want to apply the golden rule only to white males, you still shouldn't do it.

I Thessalonians 4
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Any study of how Christian society works clearly shows that whores of various kinds are essential to making marriages work. If your daughters' calling is to be whores then setting them up with a good brothel would be a good thing. Far better that than the worthless sluts they are almost certain to become in modern America.

[MarcosZeitola]

Huh? I wouldn't want my daughters working in a whorehouse, so why would I take my son to have sex with someone else's daughter who works in a whorehouse?

Of course the things our sons do are not the same as the things our daughters do; a daughter who fornicates loses her honor, but a son who has a girlfriend and has sex with her before marriage is a fairly normal bloke. As for whores, I would not advocate my sons making use of their filthy services, but I'd argue that the moment a woman falls into a life of prostitution and sells her body for money, she stops being "someone's daughter" and becomes just another hole desperate men use to stick it in... Which is sad, I agree, but that is the reality of this depraved world we live in.