Young Chinese woman sobs in viral video, never having a boyfriend

[Outcast9428]

@Mercer Only 2%-3% of Virginia's population lives in downtown Richmond, why should I use that as a barometer for what life in Virginia is like? That would be like going to one of the small towns around here where people vote Republican at 80% or so and saying that's what life in Virginia looks like. My county actually votes remarkably close to how the entire state votes (if you exclude the Northern Virginia area that surrounds Washington DC) so where I live is a very good indication of where the state stands, on average. I did delivery work during the election and I saw Trump flags everywhere and maybe 1 or 2 Biden stickers. I drive past a stop sign every day with "f**k biden" on it. When I was in high school, I remember that everybody made fun of the woke crowd. Mostly mocking them for the "I identify as an X" sort of thing.

I've also never said that conservatism was dominant in Virginia. I said the state is balanced enough that conservative values are easy to find. You don't have to look very hard for it. Most people are still kind of lukewarm liberal but you really don't see much outright leftism around here. At companies I've worked for, which aren't particularly conservative companies by the way, you might meet a few leftists but they are definitely a fairly small minority and don't influence the company's culture much. I don't see it everywhere, but I have seen the confederate flag flying on the highways here a few times.

If somebody is having issues with the rednecks here then there's something he is doing to provoke them. I've met plenty of rednecks and they never give me any trouble.

[MrMan]

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-styl ... 84859.html

China is known for its huge gender imbalance, but this woman cannot find a boyfriend? Cry me a river...

And of course immediately some mangina company is showing up, offering unmarried women extra free days for dating...

Young Chinese woman sobs in viral video about never having a boyfriend
‘I have never held a man’s hand’

A viral video in China showing a 28-year-old woman sobbing about never having a boyfriend has resonated with many social media users who identified with her predicament.

Earlier this week, a video of an unnamed woman went viral in China in which she was chatting with her sister-in-law about the pressures she felt in day-to-day life.

“I have never held a man’s hand,” she said in the video, which was first reported by Star Video.

The woman said she has tried everything, including going on blind dates, but hasn’t been able to find love yet.

The Shanghai-based woman also described feeling pressured by her parents to find a partner.

“I can’t disappoint my parents, so I brave it out for the blind dates,” she said in Chinese.

According to SCMP, many people have left sympathetic comments on the video.

“I’m two years older than her, so I can deeply relate to her anxiety,” one person wrote.

Another person added: “I have a similar struggle to hers ... my parents often put pressure on me.”

In 2019, two Chinese companies announced that they’re giving single female employees over the age of 30 an extra eight days of annual “dating leave”.

Hangzhou Songcheng Performance and Hangzhou Songcheng Tourism Management said unmarried women over 30 in “non-frontline” roles would be given an additional eight days of leave over the Chinese New Year to “go home and date”.

“Female employees mostly work in internal functional departments, and some are show performers,” Huang Lei, a human resources manager at one of the firms, told a local publication.

“They have less contact with the outside world; thus we hope to give more leave to them to give them more time and opportunities to be in contact with the opposite sex.”

I wanted to see the actual video clip. She looks reasonably okay in that picture, as long as she doesn't have some massive deformity on the part of her face that isn't showing.

Still, let's not be harsh toward her. Even if men outnumber women there, it might still be hard to find a young man who shows interest or hits it off with her.

When I was a young man in Indonesia, I was really wanting to find the right woman, but there were probably a dozen or so I interacted with that might have been interested, but I wasn't interested in them.

[Yohan]

I wanted to see the actual video clip. She looks reasonably okay in that picture...

@MrMan

You are right, and this video was there with this link, but disappeared. I was looking up now some others, like South China Morning Post, the video was also there, but disappeared.

However a different picture of her still is there...





https://www.scmp.com/news/people-cultur ... e-pressure

[Yohan]

Another one, who cannot find a husband and she wants a baby....
I can only laugh when I read this (and also read some comments in a Singapore Forum where male readers had very little compassion for this woman)

She is lucky, she had really 100 dates? - Ask Asian men, how many dates they have after asking around, many of them do not receive even a single reply even if they try hard for months....

Don't ask me how many dates I had... same sad situation also with men in feminist countries... Asian, Whie, black men, it does not matter at all....
Many without even a single date!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.scmp.com/news/people-cultur ... r-renewing

https://www.msn.com/en-sg/lifestyle/oth ... 593e455eac

‘Don’t expect rewards in love’: woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year,
renewing marriage pressure debate in China
A woman went on more than 100 dates starting in 2021 after the end of a previous relationship and losing her job
Women in China face intense pressure from family and society to marry and have children

[Yohan]

About my comment regarding this woman 32, after 100 dates no boyfriend yet, some comments from a Singapore Forum....
Not very nice, what you read there...

There are not so few women around in China, who are not poor, very picky, expect men to care for everything, demanding free dating meals in expensive restaurants, but unable to decide, meeting the next one....expecting free house, car, travel, jewelry, designer clothes, handbags...
HongKong women are well known about that. Singapore women (the Singapore party girl) are nothing better btw...some are doing this over many months, even years...

Quotes from Singapore:

This is the kind of woman that spoils dating app experience for men.
Have encountered many of them myself too. These women are usually in their mid-30s and they basically swipe non-stop and meet hundreds of guys in a year. But the prob is they are soul-less... U can tell they are not remotely interested in you as a person. They dun care much about your hobbies, your interests in life or whether there is chemistry etc

They are like trying to hit a target- e.g. I want a 1.83m male who earns at least $12K, have condo & car.
And they go on swiping & meeting guys like a robot- it's wasting both their own time & the guy's time.
Most of them will never never find their dream guy cos

1) Guys who fit their criteria will never bother to check them out in the first place

2) Plenty of sincere & decent guys who fail their criteria marginally but willing to settle down, but they dun give these guys a chance cos all they see is *must be tall *must be rich *must have car

The worst thing is society & media likes to paint these women as some sort of heroine. The usual bs that it's perfectly normal for a woman to have high expectations, it's the society's fault that she can't find her perfect dream man

If we switch the gender to a guy, then everyone will start bashing say the guy is a jerk/player, have unrealistic expectations, never look at the mirror
Just look at all the white knight, feminist comments here you know the fugging problem
-----
Over the next year, Baozhuzi dated more than 100 men. She approached the experience as both dating and observation of different types of men. She dated a man who worked in finance, a musician and men from different cultural backgrounds. On one occasion, she went on three dates in one day.
She was interviewed about her experiences in a documentary report by NetEase News, that went viral in China on December 26.
Baozhuzi admitted in the documentary that she was trying to move on from her former boyfriend but said she was looking for someone who shared her desire to have a baby.
“I don’t have any pressure to get married before a certain age, but I do want to have a baby before I’m 35,” she said.
-----
She doesn't need to be married to have a baby. Just saying.
-----
Shes not looking for a baby... She's looking for a meal ticket to take care of her and her baby.
-----
Old, ugly, high expectations while bringing nothing to the table
Is it surprising she’s unmarried?
-----
Why look like 42yo?

-----
dated 100 men because desperately wants a baby??? Anyone who enters this public toilet better go for a HIV testing.
the face is BKY BTW.... unfuggable
-----
dated 100 men = 100 free meals. No loss for her
-----
one should not take it so literally as a number game. each person you date has a personality, interests and hobbies. if you don't take time to understand each other and instead only look at his job and education, you're just looking for a template not a person you're truly interested in.
-----
Thats 1 person in 3-4 days wow

[MrMan]

I was thinking how odd it was companies were giving women time off, in China, to find husbands but not men. The marrying-age men have it worse since a lot of families aborted away many of their potential wives in response to the oppressive one-child policy. They are the ones who need to put in more effort to compete.

But from a societal perspective, it makes sense to get all the women married off to increase the population. It's hard to build a strong economy on a shrinking population. This new generation of Chinese is small, but I wonder if the government is encouraging companies to let the women date to try to get that youngest generation to be a bit bigger.

The Chinese woman that went on 100 dates? She doesn't look bad She wouldn't have really floated my boat back when I was single, but I see plenty of women with looks like hers who have gotten a man, and I can imagine in China where marrying-aged women are rare, she'd probably have a lot of men interested. I was also quite picky as a young man. And I read lots of criteria and standards you men have on here for women that would interest you. So let's not hate on her if she had 100 dates and hasn't found someone who is a good match for her.

But In a culture like that of China, if she went on 100 dates, her parents are probably just telling her to pick one. But it could be she doesn't get second dates for some reason.

[peregrino]

I'm just going by this quote:

Hangzhou Songcheng Performance and Hangzhou Songcheng Tourism Management said unmarried women over 30 in “non-frontline” roles would be given an additional eight days of leave over the Chinese New Year to “go home and date”.

The key is over Chinese New Year. This is the time of year when 99% of young people in China go back to their mom's house, even if they have to travel across the country.

So basically this is an extra week for these women to live with Mom, after all the obligatory festivities are out of the way, where Mom can set up blind dates, take her shopping for new outfits, or whatever else.

This is just me thinking, but there's probably also a shame/pressure angle to this. Everyone at work will know exactly why they aren't back at the office yet, and they know people will talk about it.

[Yohan]

This is just me thinking, but there's probably also a shame/pressure angle to this. Everyone at work will know exactly why they aren't back at the office yet, and they know people will talk about it.

It would be good to know how this is regulated in those companies. - Why should a single woman get an extra week off while single men (and also married women even those with children) are forced working overtime to replace the missing single female staff?

The single Chinese man sitting in the office doing her work can become very angry and argumentative in such a situation, likely asking for paid overtime and to insist that such an extra week off is deducted from the salary of these single office ladies.

I don't think, any Chinese company is willing to offer an extra fully paid vacation week only for single women, this is leading to disputes...likely only against reduction of the salary.

[MrMan]

This is just me thinking, but there's probably also a shame/pressure angle to this. Everyone at work will know exactly why they aren't back at the office yet, and they know people will talk about it.

It would be good to know how this is regulated in those companies. - Why should a single woman get an extra week off while single men (and also married women even those with children) are forced working overtime to replace the missing single female staff?

The single Chinese man sitting in the office doing her work can become very angry and argumentative in such a situation, likely asking for paid overtime and to insist that such an extra week off is deducted from the salary of these single office ladies.

I don't think, any Chinese company is willing to offer an extra fully paid vacation week only for single women, this is leading to disputes...likely only against reduction of the salary.

On an individual level, it isn't good for men. The large number of single men have to compete for the small number of single women. I hear the Chinese provinces overreported female population (and Chinese population might have been smaller than India's for a while) because that is what Beijing wanted to hear. So the gap between male and female of marrying age may be worse than expected. Giving men time off to date makes more sense on an individual level because they are the ones who need to be aggressive about it.

If it really is a Chinese New Year, back home, do they go home to a village and get matched up on dates with poor rural farmers? Or is home in China more often another big city, or the same city? If they really wanted to help, they could let men and women off at the same time so they can date during the day time.

Chinese people probably think less in terms of what is fair on the individual level. On the national level, it is important that the single women they do have get married up and have children. It is also foolish to keep them all full-time in the workforce. Men should be preferred for career and promotions. They have do something if they don't have families, and women need to raise the babies. If they figure this out, or have already, they can have government propaganda campaigns on the news. Or, if China wants a lot of them to import wives, they should give them even more time off. I heard the number of women they need to balance this out is incredibly large. No one country would be able to provide it. They'd be diluting the Han Chinese gene pool also.

They say educated black women in the US have a difficult time finding husbands. That would be interesting-- matching them up with Chinese engineers who haven't been able to find a wife. But I don't think either type of person, typically, would go for the other.

Numerically, it might make sense to try to recruit Ukrainian or Russian singles and widows, but that probably wouldn't cover the need. Maybe China could import some Chinese men in exchange for military service, matching them up with a tall white Russian woman as an incentive, but the Chinese might not go for that since their younger generation is small.

[peregrino]

Well, I wouldn't take that "policy" announced by one random company in a random article too seriously. I think it's one guy's PR stunt instead of a national policy or anything.

I don't really know what China's plan is, which is weird since they seem to have a plan for everything. I know recently they banned private tutoring companies with the goal of keeping down the cost of education. That might convince a few young mothers that it's OK to have one more kid, but it doesn't help with so many women rejecting every single available man even when he has a good job.

Of course Chinese men are crazy for blonde Slavic women, basically their flip side of yellow fever, but there's just not enough of them to go around.