Frank N. Stein and the Munster Cheese Shempwich

[Tsar]

Frank, a perverted old Boomer accidentally left his investment account open and his sugar baby, upset he was about to leave her, made a toxic investment into really bad Call Options. She repeated it several times, draining Frank's money.

Now, going from Millionaire to Slum Dog, he decides to go to Michigan to open a business with the last of his money. He has no choice except to shelf his Happier Abroad lifestyle until he remakes his fortune.

Now, he calls his sandwich shop the The Shempwich Shack. It's not just any sandwich, it's a Shempwich. The negros all thought it was a great easy fastfood. It took off that when brainstorming, he hired a Haji Nigger from Dearborn, Michigan to have a Shempdawg's Halal Hut serving halal food.

Earning his money was a good business and he was nearing his goal of going abroad again when he met his match. A Karen, who learned the quarter pounder of beef was underweight by 0.05 pounds launched a lawsuit after Frank declared he would not give her a second and all chefs estimate weight.

The Judge, a Jewish feminist ordered Frank to pay damages of $50,000 for misrepresentation and that if he failed to complete training to overcome his hateful misogyny then she would shutdown his business for discrimination. A Jewish person complained that Frank offered Halal options but not Kosher, so Frank had to visit a Holocaust Memorial Museum as well as attend meetings with Jews to better relate to the Jewish community.

Frank decided it was time to exit so he sold his businesses to Pajeet Brown, a half-Indian American Muslim, half-African American Muslim.

He wrote to the court he sold his businesses and would go back abroad to live it up with sugar babies. Sadly, his hubris made this action Shemptarded because the Jewish Judge launched a vendetta to destroy Frank.

Eventually, the Serbian girl, who figured Frank might somehow been successful, gave him a blowjob two years ago then put the cum inside her püssy to impregnate herself. Now, she hears about Frank in the US news, and contacts the judge, claiming she was abandoned by Frank two years ago and she needs help with their child. Frank disavows it but the Judge orders a paternity test.

His Serbian sugar slut that replaced the Ukrainian sugar slut who went to Ireland agreed confidently. Before the test, the Judge ordered Frank to turnover his US passport.

The results came back: Positive

Frank is the father.

Now, the Judge ordered Frank to pay her $200,000 in back child support and emotional damages. She also condemns him for traveling abroad to exploit girls and his misogynistic attitudes of treating them like disposable sex objects. She shames Frank.

When she asks him if he has anything to say for himself he replies "Have you ever had a Shempwhich?"

He orders him to pay $10,000 for contempt of court and that she would remand him to 30 days in the county jail but for a man like him it would probably only make his misogyny worse. She orders Frank into a mandatory support group called the Misogynists Rehabilitation Camp where the worst offenders must complete 30 days of rigorous training.

Created with input from leading experts including those who are experts in deradicalization. Frank completes it but his instructors say he's learned nothing and is amongst the worst they've ever seen. He's a really rotten bad apple and beyond rehabilitation.

The Jewish feminist Judge scolds Frank and says that she wouldn't return his passport but he's completed the program. She promises that the next time Frank is in the court, for any reason, he'll have the book thrown at him with the full weight of the law.

Frank replies "Thank you your honor, I'll be getting myself a halal Falafel burger Shempwhich to celebrate."

The Judge ordered Frank escorted out of her courtroom for disrespect, but not before increasing the amount of Frank's child support. She declared that no matter where the mother and child live, he will pay American child support costs. $1500 every month adjusted annually for inflation.

So yeah, Frank did go abroad again but he had to begin a business called "Shempdawg's Shaggy Sheepdog Co." selling everything related to a shaggy sheepdog.

Will Frank N. Stein be back for more stories involving Shempwichs, Shaggy Sheepdogs, or Shemptarded behavior? Read more posts to find out in the Chronicles of a Shemptarded Frank N. Stein.

[Natural_Born_Cynic]

Frank, a perverted old Boomer accidentally left his investment account open and his sugar baby, upset he was about to leave her, made a toxic investment into really bad Call Options. She repeated it several times, draining Frank's money.

Now, going from Millionaire to Slum Dog, he decides to go to Michigan to open a business with the last of his money. He has no choice except to shelf his Happier Abroad lifestyle until he remakes his fortune.

Now, he calls his sandwich shop the The Shempwich Shack. It's not just any sandwich, it's a Shempwich. The negros all thought it was a great easy fastfood. It took off that when brainstorming, he hired a Haji Nigger from Dearborn, Michigan to have a Shempdawg's Halal Hut serving halal food.

Earning his money was a good business and he was nearing his goal of going abroad again when he met his match. A Karen, who learned the quarter pounder of beef was underweight by 0.05 pounds launched a lawsuit after Frank declared he would not give her a second and all chefs estimate weight.

The Judge, a Jewish feminist ordered Frank to pay damages of $50,000 for misrepresentation and that if he failed to complete training to overcome his hateful misogyny then she would shutdown his business for discrimination. A Jewish person complained that Frank offered Halal options but not Kosher, so Frank had to visit a Holocaust Memorial Museum as well as attend meetings with Jews to better relate to the Jewish community.

Frank decided it was time to exit so he sold his businesses to Pajeet Brown, a half-Indian American Muslim, half-African American Muslim.

He wrote to the court he sold his businesses and would go back abroad to live it up with sugar babies. Sadly, his hubris made this action Shemptarded because the Jewish Judge launched a vendetta to destroy Frank.

Eventually, the Serbian girl, who figured Frank might somehow been successful, gave him a blowjob two years ago then put the cum inside her püssy to impregnate herself. Now, she hears about Frank in the US news, and contacts the judge, claiming she was abandoned by Frank two years ago and she needs help with their child. Frank disavows it but the Judge orders a paternity test.

His Serbian sugar slut that replaced the Ukrainian sugar slut who went to Ireland agreed confidently. Before the test, the Judge ordered Frank to turnover his US passport.

The results came back: Positive

Frank is the father.

Now, the Judge ordered Frank to pay her $200,000 in back child support and emotional damages. She also condemns him for traveling abroad to exploit girls and his misogynistic attitudes of treating them like disposable sex objects. She shames Frank.

When she asks him if he has anything to say for himself he replies "Have you ever had a Shempwhich?"

He orders him to pay $10,000 for contempt of court and that she would remand him to 30 days in the county jail but for a man like him it would probably only make his misogyny worse. She orders Frank into a mandatory support group called the Misogynists Rehabilitation Camp where the worst offenders must complete 30 days of rigorous training.

Created with input from leading experts including those who are experts in deradicalization. Frank completes it but his instructors say he's learned nothing and is amongst the worst they've ever seen. He's a really rotten bad apple and beyond rehabilitation.

The Jewish feminist Judge scolds Frank and says that she wouldn't return his passport but he's completed the program. She promises that the next time Frank is in the court, for any reason, he'll have the book thrown at him with the full weight of the law.

Frank replies "Thank you your honor, I'll be getting myself a halal Falafel burger Shempwhich to celebrate."

The Judge ordered Frank escorted out of her courtroom for disrespect, but not before increasing the amount of Frank's child support. She declared that no matter where the mother and child live, he will pay American child support costs. $1500 every month adjusted annually for inflation.

So yeah, Frank did go abroad again but he had to begin a business called "Shempdawg's Shaggy Sheepdog Co." selling everything related to a shaggy sheepdog.

Will Frank N. Stein be back for more stories involving Shempwichs, Shaggy Sheepdogs, or Shemptarded behavior? Read more posts to find out in the Chronicles of a Shemptarded Frank N. Stein.

Is this happened in real life or a fictional story that you wrote? I don't get it.

[Shemp]

Is this happened in real life or a fictional story that you wrote? I don't get it.

He's furious because I wrote a poem (in response to his suicide thread where he said he wished he was a girl) in which I suggested he become a tranny and get PAG to sodomize his fanny, so now he's making up stories about me. I'm in Spain now, so he can maybe add something about that.

[Natural_Born_Cynic]

Is this happened in real life or a fictional story that you wrote? I don't get it.

He's furious because I wrote a poem (in response to his suicide thread where he said he wished he was a girl) in which I suggested he become a tranny and get PAG to sodomize his fanny, so now he's making up stories about me. I'm in Spain now, so he can maybe add something about that.

Oh..Yeah.. you mean that poem you wrote about Tsar being a tranny and banging PAG.
I thought he was trying to be the philosopher King or Sun King or something like that.. I guess not.

[Tsar]

A Young Shemp in Nam

We all know about the Vietnam War Era, Shemptard being about age 62 would have been born in approximately 1962 so too young to go to Vietnam, but like every Hollywood director overuses the Holohoax, they also overuse Vietnam. Therefore, we will assume in an alternate timeline, Shemptard was born earlier, and this is Shemp in the Vietnam War.

Private Shemp, called Shemptard by First Lieutenant Smith, called him into his officer's tent with other members of Shemp's Squadron.

Officer Smith was smoking a cigar and had a bottle of Japanese Whiskey on the table. He had definitely been drinking and he was always worse when drinking.

He asked Shemp "Private Shemptard...rumor is you've been slacking and you've been overheard you'll just be a lazy dog until this war against those Commie Gooks is over!"

Shemp was silent.

The Lieutenant shouted "Have you anything to say for yourself you degenerate retard?"

Shemp said "No sir! Sorry sir!"

The Lieutenant then said "You and your band of lazy scum are going Viet Kong hunting! You're going out and bringing me back proof of your efforts. You will be court marshalled if you do not begin contributing!"

The squadron shouted "Yes sir!"

First Lieutenant then said "Shemptard, get down on all fours! You'll be walking back to your tent, barking and on all fours like a dog for this camp to see! Next time you think about wanting to be a lazy dog, remember this!"

Shemptard obeyed his commanding officer's orders and was a comical sight.

The camp was shouting "Shemp Dog" and others were barking at him as a way of ridiculing him.

The team went out into the forests of Vietnam and then began their hunt.

They came across a village with fresh corpses and a girl was screaming. One guy in plain clothes, a white guy, was about to rape himself a teenage Vietnamese girl.

The Squadron were debating what to do about it. But Shemptard shouted "Hey!"

The guy looked up and said "Get outta here you retards!"

In this reality, Shemp is simple like a Forrest Gump and he's not a total no good misogynistic pervert like in our reality.

Shemp looked at the naked Vietnamese girl and imagined getting with her. It has been a few years of wanking it off in this warzone.

He shouted "No! You go!"

The man pushed the Viet girl to the jungle floor and then stood up, and said "What did your retarded mouth just say?"

Shemp smiled and shouted "Get! You won't do anything bad today!"

The man shouted "You goodie two shoes aren't stopping this interrogation and punishment for this Gook Girl supporter of the Viet Kong!"

Shemp said "I am stopping it. You won't rape today!"

The man pulled out his gun.

But Shemp shot the guy first. He killed the guy. Then they searched the guy's body and found a CIA badge on the corpse. He had been working with a different camp of soldiers.

Shemp looked at the girl, thinking he was going to be like a knight in shining armor but he was actually still seen as a Yank Bastard because of his uniform.

The naked girl grabbed a knife that had been taken from her and then ran into the forest to escape the Yanks. Shemp felt she was somehow watching them, so he decided to grab her clothes and sniff. After all, a Shemptard is always a pervert. And like any pervert, he wants to eye up any female.

The girl rushed back for her clothes having to endure being eyed up by horny perverted Yanks.

Her clothes were tossed back to her, one by one on the ground, and they watched her bend over for each of them. The horny men imagined pounding her but they weren't rapists like some soldiers were.

Shemp and his Squad decided they had a successful day and dragged the corpse of the CIA agent back to camp where they showed First Officer Smith.

Shemptard reported "Sir, we stopped the rape of a Viet Girl. I killed this rapist."

First Lieutenant Smith asked "Anything else, Shemptard?"

Shemp said "He has a CIA badge."

First Lieutenant Smith shouted "You retard! Now I'm going to have to report your mess to the higher-ups!"

The girl, angry, and having felt humiliated by Shemptard, because he eyed her up instead of leaving and letting her get her clothes in privacy, brought the Viet Kong to Shemptard's camp.

Almost all the men were ambushed and most were slaughtered.

Shemp was captured, whipped, and was a Prisoner of War for awhile. He never got over those memories and that's why the Shemp in this alternate timeline, despite being a Happier Abroader, will never return to Vietnam or Southeast Asia.

[Tsar]

Diaries of a Geezer in the Spanish Mountains

Frank decided to become a rugged hermit in the Spanish mountains. He built his Shemp Shack, The Old Coot Clubhouse, where he lives foraging and farming his chickens for eggs.

Every morning he would start his day going out to his outhouse and squeeze his sphincter pushing out a big dump then pissing. He would scream profanities because he often drank charcoal filtered water then boil it. He gotten use to the taste but for a man of his age, didn't drink enough so it caused constipation.

When he finished, he exited and began his day eating boiled eggs with foraged edible leaves. This was the life he always imagined trying. The life of a rugged roughneck toughing out the wilderness living as a primitive hermit. He knew that he could be living in comfort but decided to shrug off ostentatious living as well as take a break from sugar babies.

He still had his phone and a mobile plan, hooked up to a solar charger. He would often brag to everyone on Happier Abroad about the merits of his lifestyle.

He would have days where he would shovel out the piles of geezer shite out into the dump barrow, a wheelbarrow he pilfered from people who lived in a farmstead nearby in a town. He would dump it into a big hole he dug. He nicknamed the spot "The Flies Feast" because flies would swarm and the contents of the hole looked like it was moving because of the maggots. It was like a sea of maggots down there.

Additionally, instead of trying to hold his nose, he would take whiffs of his decomposing shite and think that this was the scent of building a primitive civilization and part of being rugged in the wild.

He would occasionally bring a his captured wild hog to sniff out truffles but whenever they passed "The Flies Feast", the hog would grunt and bellow and hate the foul stench.

Frank was also a proud nudist and often walk around naked.

Sometimes instead if soap, he would lather himself in mud then he would bath it off in a pond. He would sing a song about zoophiliac girls getting knotted by dogs.

He never felt more free and more liberated.

However, sometimes people would go camping and rumors of a humanoid beast spread. So a team of hunters and nature officers began a search of the forest.

They brought dogs that found the "Feast of Flies" and everyone wanted to throw up. It was the nastiest thing they've encountered. The dogs wanted to die and we're whimpering.

They moved on to the Shemp Shack Old Coot Clubhouse and realized it was a human. Then they heard the singing. They found Shemp bathing lathered mud off his body.

They arrested him for damage to the forest and stealing items from the towns as well as campers.

He was fined and banned for 5 years from Spain. He wouldn't be going back to the Spanish mountains anytime soon.

[Tsar]

Spelunker Shemp/Frank Goes Spelunking

Frank had always enjoyed anal spelunking sluts but today he was going to do real Spelunking in the mountains of Spain. He looked on his map and found an unmarked cave and decided to explore it.

He entered and began traveling through the cave only to eventually get to where he saw light after walking for many hours and eating a cheese sandwich.

When he exited, he found himself in a world that looked very different from Spain. Then he heard a roar and when he looked down, there was a dinosaur.

Frank couldn't believe his eyes. Did he travel back in time or was this a surviving place of dinosaurs in 2024 in Spain? He decided to go back and find his way out after really fast meat eating dinosaurs devoured another dinosaur.

He traveled the same journey he went only to find himself exit in what looked like a different world. The mountains were the same but Spain wasn't. He walked out and he had a beard and his clothes were dusty. He shambles his way to another town.

He looked at the newspaper and the year was 2044. He didn't think it was possible for him to be a cave spelunking for 20 years. At most it was 20 hours. However, he didn't know that the cave was like a Bermuda Triangle of caves.

When he tried to go to the US embassy, they didn't recognize him as being alive because he was declared missing then declared legally dead. His $6,000,000 was seized by the financial companies and given to the government. Being unclaimed for so long, the government had no legal reasons to reimburse Frank. And without a lawyer, getting his US Passport reinstated would be impossible.

Frank didn't know what to do except log-on to the forum.

He received the suggestion of opening an adult Sexual Kung Fu dojo and teach expats how to do the most perverted things for pleasure. He wanted to do it in Taiwan and maybe crash at Winston's place until he was back on his feet but Taiwan was now an island province of mainland China.

Frank decided to bring back a dinosaur egg and get rich. That was his Golden Ticket. His way back to being a millionaire. He went back into the cave only to find himself exiting but he didn't see dinosaurs this time. The cave was a complicated thing. What he saw was a cyclops beating a group of goblins with a giant club. It roared. Frank decided this was worse than the dinosaurs so ran out.

Frank repeated re-entering the cave again and again, one time getting Al Qaeda gunning down US soldiers in Afghanistan. Another time aliens abducting someone in the Rocky Mountains. Another time he saw 2000 years into the future. Frank was going crazy seeing many different places and learning the cave could show him anywhere at any time.

He decided to go back to the Spanish town but after entering for several days when he returned, it was over 200 additional years in the future. Now, even opening a Sexual Kung Fu dojo was not possible, he was now Stateless, and the forum hadn't existed for over 180 years. Hungry and without money, Frank stole loaves of bread and a circle of cheese, and ran into the mountains, eventually going back to the cave.

He eventually exited into a cold environment and could see a monastery. Monks had yaks grazing in a pasture. Frank saw electrical lights from his binoculars and figured this was the best chance at getting back to his own time.

He ran to see the monks and was allowed to stay in year 2026 with the monks if he accepted the lifestyle. He had 18 years of learning the ways of the monastery, growing a beard, and wearing a typical monk outfit. His color was orange. He had a car take him to renew his US passport. He stayed alive so in 2044, he met himself outside the cave in Spain. Frank meets Frank, a seemingly paradox for two Franks to exist simultaneously but it happened because of the Cave.

With his fortune and citizenship still preserved, future Frank tells present Frank go back to the Himalayas to join the monastery and learn some of the ways of monkhood.

It was time for future Frank to enjoy his last years with a sugar baby before dying.

Present (Year 2044) Frank went to the monastery and soon all the monks were shouted after seeing Frank was young again. Present Frank had all the memories of Future Frank when they touched so no need relearn everything. But he had to experience the way if the monk to learn discipline and a more simple life.

After learning everything, Frank, a few years later left the monastery and opened his Sexual Kung Fu dojo in Los Angeles. Slutty porn actress girls and gay men were the ones usually taking these lessons.

Eventually, he would go Spelunking again before he died but not until he was old enough where he would be brought to a nursing home wherever he ended up for having old age dementia and senility.

[Tsar]

There's a Frank in the Closet!

Little Timmy would always go to bed and scream to his mom that there's a monster in the closet but there never was. However, his mom gave him a flashlight and a water gun which eventually made him feel safe to sleep at night and it all stopped for awhile until one night.

Frank aka Shempdawg was drunk and accidentally drove to the wrong house and couldn't get inside, so he entered through the doggy door. Then he went into Little Timmy's closet.

Being a little crazy, Frank decided to play a prank.

Little Timmy awoke to see the closet door begin to move back and forth. Then there was heavy breathing. Little Timmy looked scared and with wide eyes, shining the flashlight on the door. Then Frank barked like a dog.

Little Timmy got reached for his squirt gun but Frank leaped out of the closet shouting gibberish and screaming at Little Timmy who was screaming. Frank went back into the closet as Little Timmy screamed for his mom.

His mom came running and Frank was silent. Little Timmy said there was a monster in his closet and he scared him. Little Timmy's mom told him to shine his flashlight on the closet and she would open the door to show him there was no monster. But when she opened it and saw Frank, she started screaming then Frank started screaming.

Little Timmy and his mom ran out of the bedroom and called 9-1-1 and the cops shower up and they arrested Frank.

Frank's lawyer argued he was drunk but the District Attorney managed to get Frank a "Red Stamp" like Dan Cilley and Frank became a registered sex offender.

The Judge scolded him saying that being drunk was no excuse for entering someone's home and then going into a child's room. When asked if he had anything to say for himself he barked like a dog while looking at Little Timmy and Little Timmy screamed. The Judge told Frank that he was getting one year in the slammer plus an extra three months for what he just did to scare Little Timmy.

Frank drank some water then let out a loud burp while looking at the Judge. The Judge added three more months because of Frank's disrespect and told him that he has no shame.

[Tsar]

Frank is a Monkey's Uncle

Frank (Shemp) was dating a Sugar Slut who had a pet monkey. He didn't want children of his own so he became the Uncle to his sugar baby's monkey. He would often take it out in a baby carriage.

One summer, there were more Americans than usual in Spain and they knew about the African refugee crisis. At first glance, they thought that Frank was a proud stepfather to a niglet, before Frank said "Isn't he just a beautiful monkey?"

The monkey let out it's monkey sound. Then one of the Americans went on a virtue signaling tangent on how Frank was being oppressive and demeaning Africans by using a monkey as an object to dehumanize African babies. The monkey began to screech more and more eventually shutting down the tangent. They watched Frank buy bananas for the monkey and filled a baby bottle with milk.

The monkey sometimes went on picnics with Shemp and Sugar. They would watch Spanish dramas. Sometimes Shemp would be sleeping and he would awaken to the monkey jumping on his belly or screeching in his face to wake him up. They would get Gelato from an Italian ice cream place in Madrid.

Everything was fine until they met an African refugee. Frank, his girlfriend, and the monkey were walking down a cobblestone street and the monkey was carrying a banana, eating it.

The African shouted "You monkey should share with a brother!"

It screeched.

"You think you better than me?"

The monkey screeched again.

The African stood up and looked into the monkey's eyes.

Then the monkey screeched louder, threw the banana to the ground, and began shaking it's arms and jumping while screeching, showing it's teeth.

The African man bellowed and let out his own loud scream.

By this time, bystanders on both sides of the street were looking at what was happening.

Then, the monkey and the African charged at each other, running, going in for an attack. The monkey, although small, leapt into the air and sunk it's teeth into the African man's neck who started screaming. He fell to the ground, bleeding out, and the monkey walked on the man's belly, screeching in triumph having killed it's enemy.

The police arrived to see a dead refugee and people recorded the brutal fight. Eurocucks and Americuck Libtards were outraged by such brutality against a rapefugee refugee. A stray Spanish dog eventually found it's way to the scene and pissed on the African refugee's corpse, further outraging certain people.

Frank and his Sugar Slut were given a notice that they would be investigated for having a monkey in Spain because their monkey killed a man.

Sugar Slut blamed Frank, slapping his face and telling him it was all his fault because he thought he could be a monkey's uncle. Frank would continue to be the monkey's uncle.

They fled Spain in the cover of night from their hotel and went to France before returning to Eastern Europe for the summer.

Read more for the The Adventures of Frank (Shemp) as a Monkey's Uncle.