HouseMD wrote:Winston wrote:Come on that's so narrow and cliched. You sound like conformist pep talk.
If I were dying right now, do you really expect that I would wish that I had gotten married and raised a family and spent more time with kids? lol
NO WAY! WRONG!
If I were dying now, I would wish that I had traveled more, dated more women, and gone back to Europe sooner, and gone to China earlier. Etc.
Remember that I follow my heart, so I have no regrets, other than not getting to my destination on time.
You also mischaracterize me. I do not party or indulge in hedonism and pleasure everyday. Most of my time is spent working or reading or studying or watching documentaries. I spend most of my time as a spiritual truth seeker. Not whoremonger. I do hoes occasionally and like to date multiple girls yeah. But that's not what I do most of the time. So you got me all wrong.
Furthermore, the hoes I had were NOT meaningless. They gave me some of the best sex and best GFE's. My only regret was not sleeping with the best ones again for a second or third time. So again, you got it wrong.
Plus you must have not read my testimonials and fan letters. I have helped a lot of people find happiness overseas and even marriages. So I have done something for others. Possibly I've saved guys from committing suicide too. A number of guys here have said that my stories inspired them to go abroad.
Unlike others, I did not dish out the usual BS pep talk about being confident and positive and raising your self-esteem, which is what others do, yet accomplishes nothing.
So you got me all wrong on many points. How could you be so much in error? Why are you so narrow?
One more thing for you to think about
Do you know the story of Siddhartha Buddha, the founder of Buddhism? He awakened many people with his Buddhist teachings which have become a major religion today.
When he grew up and had a wife and kids, he left them in pursuit of spiritual truth and the answer to human suffering. That's how his quest began. What if he didn't leave his wife and kids and just settled down into a normal life of raising a family in his palace like everyone else, and like every prince before him? If he did that, there would be nothing special about him. You would not have heard of him today, and Buddhism would not exist.
Would you prefer that? Would you prefer that Buddha did what was normal and raised a family without questioning things? Think about it.
Not saying that I'm Buddha. But I have a similar role of awakening people to truth and exposing the evils and ills of American culture and society that are not brought to light. So you know what I mean.
Try to see the big picture and broaden your tunnel vision ok?
Actually I was trying to broaden your world view. You call other behavior degenerate while living a lifestyle that, if all men lived it, would completely collapse society. You've done no truly great things, despite your delusions to the contrary. Just try and remember, a few years down the line, that there was a man who told you you would have some regret in regards to how you have dealt with your own child. Usually it's when a guy's health starts going. But who knows. You might be so self centered that it truly won't matter to you. There are people like that our there, after all, the ones so selfish they don't give a damn about anything but themselves. I just feel like if you never achieve fame or recognition, your life will end in regret.
But hey, I'm just some guy on the Internet, so whatever. You've got some good ideas and I don't dislike you, but that doesn't mean I won't tell you what I think about the views I don't agree with straight to your face. I'm very up front like that.
How is that broadening my world view? You are just spouting propaganda from Hollywood that all men feel that raising a family is the greatest and true joy in life. Why do you never think outside the box and only spout propaganda from major media?
So what if my lifestyle would collapse society if everyone followed it? Society doesn't thrive on freethinkers. It thrives on conformity and control. It's not always a good thing. And many anarchists make good arguments about why society should collapse and why government isn't necessary and is really no different from organized crime.
Have you read the Harry Brown book I recommended before? It talks about the unselfishness trap you are advocating.
How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Why do you advocate conformity and in the box thinking and adherence to tradition? Why do you want to guilt trip people into unselfishness by making them do something they don't want to do?
I told you, I live most of the time as a spiritual truth seeker. Not as a degenerate. I don't even smoke or drink or do drugs. Wtf are you talking about? Are you a shill or a real intelligent person? It sounds like you are spinning things that aren't there to try to discredit certain people. Kind of like what a disinfo shill does.
I am not a hedonist who lives only for pleasure. Why do you categorize me falsely? Did read my previous post? Are you deaf? Why do I have to repeat this? Not every bad argument is equally valid with good ones you know.
What do you mean I've done no great things? Who are you to judge? Why are you an authority? Aren't you getting pompous here? You aren't even an accurate person and you believe everything the government tells you, even when it is clearly lying. (as in the JFK assassination, which is a proven well documented conspiracy that everyone knows about) What kind of man of truth are you? Or are you a man of lies and falsehoods instead?
Did you see my ten unique accomplishments here:
Did you read the testimonials I told you to read?
Go to the page above please. I've changed lives, inspired many to go overseas, given many depressed guys hope, and possibly even prevented a few suicides from occurring too. Some marriages have resulted from my advice too, two of them in Lithuania that I know of, and several in the Philippines. Why doesn't that mean anything in your narrow world? I already mentioned this in the last post. Didn't you read it? Why do I have to repeat it?
The solution we advocate here on HA for curing loneliness, isolation and mental health problems in America by going overseas is a unique one. That makes us special in that others aren't proposing this solution yet. Too bad you are unappreciative of that So wtf are you doing here if you find no value in this movement? Wtf is your problem?
As to your stupid predictions, actually, you are too late. 3 or 4 years ago, Jackal told me that I would regret not spending all my time with my son as a stable father who gives up all his time for his child. But he was wrong. I don't regret anything related to that. So you are too late. That prediction already came long ago. You also make false assumptions.
You act like you are saying something new. You aren't. You are rehashing old things that's already been discussed in other threads. Why don't you read the other threads that already address your objections before posting your asinine objections again? It's really tedious to have to address the same points made years ago in other threads.
Later on, another new guy will come on and bring up the same things. Then I'll have to waste time answering the same questions again and forget where this thread was. Why does history repeat itself on this forum?
Self-centered is something YOU define. Not me. I am merely doing what's best for me and my happiness and my goals and objectives. Just because I'm not self-sacrificing doesn't mean I'm self-centered. That is a subjective statement.
I've already made it clear long that I'm not a self-sacrificing person who gives up his life and everything else for a child. I don't have emotional attachment with children. Only with women. Why should I try to change who I am and try to be something I'm not, just to appease judgmental people like you who like to tell others what to do? I've gone over this hundreds of times already.
Even if I care about children, I don't care enough about them to give up everything for them. I simply don't feel that it's worth it to give up the best years of your life being a slave/servant to a kid, only to have him/her grow up spoiled and disrespectful (which is common in America) and say "thanks for being a good parent" before he/she leaves you old and worn out.
Why not spend the best years of your life doing what YOU LOVE and what YOU WANT? Why give it all away in service to another (especially if you don't want to) only to get nothing in return but a thank you? It's NOT WORTH IT!
I simply don't like being enslaved to serve another, not even a kid. You have to be at the kid's beck and call and service all his needs, like a 24 hour caregiver. You lose ALL your freedom in the process. Why don't you try being a parent and see how you like it? It requires total self-sacrifice. I'm simply not up for that.
Did you see my question earlier about the Buddha? Do you prefer that he had never taken his spiritual quest to find the answer to human suffering, so that he could raise his children as a good father and live a normal life as a ruler? If he had, you would never have heard of him, and Buddhism wouldn't exist today. Is that better in your opinion? Should Buddha have conformed, as you suggest in your beliefs, and given up his quest and therefore never founding Buddhism? Can you answer that? You forgot to answer it.
Finally, some people have emotional attachment to kids and others don't. Mr S for example, has wanted to leave the Philippines years ago, but hasn't because he has a daughter there that he doesn't want to leave in the care of her mother. So he is sacrificing his life and freedom for his child. I wouldn't let a kid tie me down like that. To me, a kid is "out of sight, out of mind".
During WWII, when Joseph Stalin's son was captured by the Germans, Stalin said "Do whatever you want to him. I'm not going to let you use him as a bargaining tool against me." Obviously, Stalin had no emotional attachment to his son. His attachment was to power.
The point is, not all men are the same. Just because I don't have emotional attachment to children doesn't mean I'm self-centered. I'm just different. And I've made a value judgment that giving up all your best years to become a servant/slave to a child 24/7, and giving up all your freedom, is simply NOT WORTH IT.
That's a VALUE JUDGMENT based on my needs, goals and big picture view. You can call that "self-centered" if you want, but I call it a value judgment.
I've never understood all those parents on TV or in the news though, who say that their "reason for living" is their children, and that if they lost their children, they would have no reason to live. I can never empathize with that. Isn't that kind of sick and unhealthy to have your only reason for living be your kids? That's kind of weird. Why don't you condemn that?
Simply put, a kid doesn't fulfill me. A kid doesn't fulfill my needs, wants or desires for romance or adventure or intellectual pursuits. So why should I live for them or give up everything for them? It makes no sense. Can you explain why people do that?
In the V TV series in the 1980's, there is a scene where Donovan tells Julie that if it were a choice between her and his son, that his son would win every time. There would be no competition. I don't understand why people say that on TV. To me, a kid would never compete with a beautiful woman. No way. I don't understand other people because I'm not like other people.
Perhaps parents have a "self-sacrificing gene" that activates when they become parents, but the gene is dormant or passive in me? I don't know.
I never said I didn't care about my son. I simply don't care enough to give up all my freedom and best years to become a servant/slave to him everyday. It's too much to ask. Caring and self-sacrificing are two different things. It's not black and white like "total self-sacrificing vs. total uncaring". Nothing is black and white. It's somewhere in the middle.
Can you bookmark this post so that next time some bozo comes along and asks the same questions, you can send the link to him or post it for him? I'm tired of answering this over and over and over again. It's annoying. Would you like to do that?
Finally, I do have tons of regrets, but they aren't related to children. They are related to not having dates and romantic times during the whole 1990's and the last two years I've wasted not being where I'm happiest. And related to my unhappy childhood, wasted years, etc. And to not staying with Marina in 2005 and not going back to Europe in 2006. Etc. I have tons of regrets. But they are NOT the regrets YOU IMAGINE IN YOUR PUNY HEAD! Do you understand?
Can you get that through your head and try to understand me, instead of spouting false things in your narrow judgment that have nothing to do with me?! OK?!
Can you reread the above again, so I don't have to repeat it all? Try to LISTEN for once.
Can you take the above into account? Or do I have to copy and paste it for you again in the next post?!