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Long ago I once had a dream:
In this dream I was laying under a tree, next to the woman of my dreams who was no supermodel by any stretch of the imagination. (At least, I believed that, while in my dream. As dreams seem to empart those kinds of "given" information.)
But the one thing I knew about her, in this dream, was that she loved me. (For real.) Being near her was enough for me, or rather the thought of bedding her was not high on my "to-do" list. But I would have "loved" her, if the dream went there, without reservation.
....And my soul was at peace. I did not have to worry about her being possessive or psychotic. She loved me for who I was. I was her hero in some way that a man can be that for a woman. And we were soulmates.
Then I woke up, and quicky realised that those kinds of women more than likely don't exist. And that it really WAS a dream after all.
I cannot tell you the depression and feelings of hoplessness that came upon me that day.
But not because I wasn't going to be out with a girl that night, or that I couldn't find a date. I was more than able to find a girl. Just not the right one.
But, it dawned on me that, I'll probably NEVER find that. EVER.
She simply doesn't exist. Never did, and I doubt ever could.
...And in the end, it just seems like NOBODY is really true as to whom they really are. Nobody says "I love you" and really means it, just for the sake of bringing true happiness to another. Because we're all too scared of having that love betrayed. A girl in the bed, just because I can get her into bed hurts ME!!!! Because it's not really true. It's just sex.
...And even though it might be fun, it's feeting....AND PLASTIC.
....and so I will wander the world looking for her. I have no idea where she is and I may be a fool for looking. But I will be true to myself and can accept nothing less!!!! If she's out there I will find her!!!!!
I will find her!!!!!!!
A diamond in the rough. A needle in a stack of needles.
....And I will not stop untill I do. Even if I die trying.
....and NOT TO YIELD!!!!!
While I'm sure you've already heard it, some may say, you are being unrealistic, looking for perfection.
I just wanted to take a moment and compliment you on your courageous stand.
In the shorter term, it will take more work, but I honestly feel if you truly do get out there and travel other countries, you WILL find a pleasant female that will curl up with you, say I love you and truly mean it. Your attraction will be mutual. You will feel alive. You will feel a man, and she a woman. In the end, it'll be worth and overall, less work.
Wishing you all the best.
I've had the same type of dreams, several of us can relate. Thankfully, I've tasted some of the dreams in reality albeit no surprise in other countries, so there IS hope.
Some of these western cultures have done some extreme damages and sadly, there have been random casualties. Nice guy or not, these bigger forces do not discriminate.
"Give me liberty or give me death" - Patrick Henry