ya in this clip i posted above, go to 3:10 and listen. he talks about thisijohn wrote:
No matter how the scenario is presented, invariably the solutions picked tend towards the middle choice, B for one group and D for the other.
Meaning people tend to gravitate towards the middle reflexively. It seem the 'safe' choice. They gravitate towards what they perceive to be what others will choose, what they imagine is the average (which becomes the popular).
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There is some validity to the hero story anyway in as much it is fundamental to the male psyche. Men must go on some form of the hero journey to transition from childhood to adulthood. The goal of the journey is the woman, more specifically the feminine qualities of the woman. She appears virtuous without doing anything because these qualities (relatedness, giving love, tenderness towards men and children, the ability to turn a house into a home) appear naturally (at least theoretically), they are part of the feminine psyche and she doesn't have to do anything or go on any journey to possess them.
Now in the last forty years in the west women have insisted that they too wish to go on their own hero journeys. Some thing this forum has pointed out that are worth recapping - the more energy a woman is giving to her hero journey the less she has to give to be the goal of the journey so she is going to be a pretty piss poor prize. In addition when every guy is scrambling over every other to have hero accomplishments she gets to pick and choose. And then she no longer has obligation to stay with one hero and can leave anytime she pleases. Even the uber heroes are not exempt.
Now even in the philipines or any other part of the world for that matter, you will still have to have some heroic qualities. You have to at least be able to hold down some job and earn some income. But here the woman will respect you for these, have plenty of femininity to nourish you with and not seek to leave for something else.
So what does all this have to do with you young man? Well, here are some of the conclusions you can make
- You can see the sheer foolishness of playing the hero game at least in the west. Your prize will be terrible anyway, you will always be competing and you will know she can leave anytime.
- So in the west the only girl worth pursuing is one who appreciates your very heroic ordinary qualities, who is willing to share and grow with you and see you as a partner not a prize. You can find these girls but you have to be looking for them. You do not need to be a piano virtuoso for them, but can learn piano with them, or if she has learned as a kid she might teach you.
- But we can say this in general for anywhere. The only girl worth pursuing anywhere is one who appreciates your ordinary qualities as this is the only girl who can make you a good wife. Male female relations whever you are are always difficult and always have issues. Only a few people would consider themselves spiritual soulmates with their partners, so deep is the connection. Even they will report that there are always issues and these grow the more you know each other.
So no woman, no matter how much you have glamorized her is worth the superman effort. The more the girl needs the superman the less she will make a good home maker- one who saves, one who rides out the tough times with character and dignity.
- Any infatuation you might have for the business suit wearing girl and her set apart appearance you would do well to dump that. After all the more she is into her business suit, the less she is into her family, the less femininity she has the less likely you will have a happy home.
- Any infatuation you might have for the intellectual girl who watches european movies and quotes her favorite french poet, you need to drop that too unless her feminine qualities are intact and she is not ideologically opposed to using them. Having fun intellectual discussions does not alone make a home and a family.
So if you are not going to be a hero for the girl how are you going to live? What is your effort going to be for? Do you have any incentive left? There are some men who if they are not acting as heros to win the girl can't seem to find any motivation to do anything, so deep in their biological response. If this is your case then you have work to do. You must love the smart way as described above (if you don't want to end up crushed and defeated) and you must learn how to rechannel the archetypal hero energy in you towards other things.
Like bettering yourself. Though remember, you are *not anymore* doing it to win the girl. So given that what will your definition of bettering yourself be? What will you focus on? What qualities will you cultivate?
And also bettering the world. Channel your hero energy towards bettering the world, making it a little nicer place to live in, bringing a little cheer to people's lives. There are enough who could use it.
Do these and you will be richly rewarded.