UPDATE: The Forum has been RESTORED! See announcement here. Welcome back everyone!
Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Theme
For Asian Americans to discuss Asian American issues and topics.
It's one way for Asian American men to find mates, but the problem is Asian women quickly becoming materialistic, corrupted and self-hating as soon as they step foot in the States.
It's better for both Asian and non-Asian men to keep their wives in Asia, and not to bring them over back to Western countries. Now, some will disagree with me, such as Pete, whose wife is beautiful but I have no idea how she hasn't changed that much compared to when she was in Asia?
How is that possible, Pete? I think another example is Davewe, and again, I don't know how they manage to keep their women-in-tow, because I've heard many horror stories from men of all races, who bring over their wives from foreign countries to Western countries. They rapidly undergo changes and unfortunately, the result isn't surprising, i.e. divorce or breakups.
The ones who arrive married to White or Black men are less susceptible, because they've already 'Westernized' in some sense; for example, many of those Asian women (but not all, of course) married to non-Asian men, usually despise Asian culture and hate their own race, or are already used to Western ways of doing things by being exposed to Western thinking from their mate or husbands.
Or, they're specifically looking for Western men to bring them back to their own countries, so they've already prepared themselves to be more Western in thinking in advance. Whereas with Asian men, Asian women are supposed to be traditional and 'Asian-centric' but they quickly succumb to Western ways quite easily, sadly. ...
Ive seen explanations that its convection. Sure, that explains the movement and the bands, but not why they manage to remain so distinct.
You can pour milk in coffee and it will eventually mix through the action of convection. Convection itself is not something that prevents different elements from mixing together, so what gives? That thing looks more like coloured oils on water.
There is a tiny sliver, a very small percentage of the US population of white or black males whose families have been here for generations who go to Asia and find a wife or start a relationship with an Asian over the Internet. There is a small, percentage-wise, population of Asian Americans in the US. Does anyone have any stats on how common it is for Asians to get a wife from the home country of their people-group? It might be more common than it is for white or black Americans to marry Asians right out of Asia.
In one city I lived in in the US, there might have been 200 or 300 people I knew in the Indonesian community. One young man was first generation. He went back to Indonesia and got a wife. Another young couple I knew of where he was white and she was Asian met through the Internet. There were a lot of white-man,Asian woman couples there that met in a variety of ways. There were 'pure Indonesian' couples. Many of these may have migrated together.
We had a poster here, an Asian-American from Hawaii, mixed, who was dating girls he'd met online or that his mom matched him up. A lot of his dating adventures and misadventures were with girls actually in Asia.
Asian American men have it rough in the US. Unless they are especially good-looking or cool or whatever, they seem to be less likely to attract white girls. It certainly seems like Asian women have an easier time attracting white guys. The traditional culture for Korea, for example, would have an avenue for marriage where the parents or some agent they hire or relative matches up their adult child with a potential marriage match. So with Koreans Asian American men, maybe the parents are trying to match them up with a good match. What's a good match? It could be a Korean girl from Korea, but their social networks is in the US. So maybe mom and dad is trying to match young Mr. Kim up with the dad's boss's daughter, but she has a lot of dating options open. They may not have the network with the single Korean women in Korea as much.
We have a lot of Koreans and Chinese in the US, and I wonder if there is really a great appeal for Korean men to get a Korean wife. It's probably not as good of a culture at generating nice, conservative, submissive wives like it once was. A nice submissive voice on the radio over there is considered sexy, but the submissive attitude seems to be a 'public face'-- a kind of a front, not what you necessarily see behind closed doors. A Korean guy with a tiger mom might choose to try to date in the US and find a white girl or see if he can determine if an Asian girl is a good match. Chinese probably have some similar things going on. I'm not sure if they still have a big matchmaker tradition, but I think they still do.
If they marry Filippinos or other women from less developed countries, they may consider them lower class. I have certainly encountered that attitude with a Japanese man I know. Americans tend to be less class sensitive, and for a lot of American white and black men an Asian is an Asian and Japanese aren't considered higher than Laosians. A traditional Korean or Japanese family might not be too thrilled about marrying outside of their race, and they may consider a Filippina or Vietnamese girl not to be a good match. There are plenty of Korean men marrying women from these places, but they are typically not on the top of the economic food chain in Korea. Some of them are farmers who can't find wives because so many young women want to go to the city.
As far as the online dating goes, are there really lots of girls online looking for husbands, or are those pretend women with fake pictures and fake profiles a dating site posts to get customers? I saw a little video about an online dating company with a scam like that, where a visitor would get a lot of alerts that dried up after he shelled out some cash. If there are women looking to find a husband and move to the US, many of them may be Anglophiles who are attracted to whites. There are plenty of Asian men in their own countries.
Interesting question. I have 3 co-workers who are Asian (not Asian American though) and I asked them, out of curiosity.
Their answer: they think that being integrated into a "first world" (if the term can still apply) western culture is a big achievement for them and dating a woman from their homeland or other Asian country would appear as a "step back" to them.
In other words...still massive amounts of whitewashing in Asian communities around the world. Perhaps it's different with second or third generation Asian born and bred in the US of A.
In Hawaii I'm not sure Asian men have a disadvantage at all. They might even have the advantage over white men. Well it's debatable.
It is indisputable that Asian women have an easy time attracting white men everywhere. White men have an Asian fetish that has gotten out of hand.
I have spent quite a bit of time in Hawaii, and I haven't noticed white men having an advantage there, but I wasn't looking. The Asians there who have been there for generations don't come off as nerdy. A lot of people are mixed, anyway, white and Asian, white and Polynesian. Portuguese get treated as their own race there, the way people talk. And some locals don't really like white folks that much. It wasn't a big issue that I could see but just an underlying feeling I got from some native Hawaiians if I talked about certain topics.
But it does not seem to me that most white men in the US have an Asian fetish. Asian women... in Asia at least... tend to be thinner, so that makes a lot more of them attractive, and a lot of white guys consider some Asian women to be pretty. For me, if there were a room full of 100 Chinese girls and 100 white girls, all in their early 20's, all thin with about the same body fat ratios with no tattoos, body mods, or short or weird hair, I'd probably consider about the same percentage of them to be pretty. That would probably be about 5 to 8% for me. But a lot of the white American girls are overweight, have tattoos, blue, green or pink half-shaved hairdos, and a few with weird facial piercings. So a higher percentage of Chinese are attractive. But that would change if we were talking about prebumis or putribumis from Indonesia or Malaysia, where I'd consider a smaller percentage to be attractive. It seems like there is even a smaller percentage of attractive Chinese girls. There are some very beautiful Indonesians, but it just seems to be less common. With Koreans, it seems like there are lots and lots of 7's and maybe 9's for looks, but looks are kind of homogenized there and it is hard to find 9s. My experience with Korea is two decades old now, and I'm off the market.
Anyway, a man doesn't have to have an Asian fetish to consider Asians attractive. If he is equally attracted to Asians or whites or slightly more attracted to whites and doesn't like excess weight, weird or short hair, piercings, etc. that could give Asian girls an advantage.
If a white guy goes to certain Asian countries, being exotic and different gives him an advantage. In some cultures in Asia women are less cold than in certain parts of the US. Girls might also signal that they like you more clearly, even if it is a middle schoolish sort of way. And there are still parts of Asia where women think they should cook for their man, obey their man, have babies, etc. I heard one woman in Indonesia describe herself as a feminists, and I have spent over a decade there. She was upset that this older man had married some other woman. I never heard a woman complaing about 'the patriarchy' the whole time I was in Asia.
Still, most white men in the US don't walk around with an Asian girl on their arm. Hawaii excluded, since a lot of the girls have at least some Asian in them there.
If he is equally attracted to Asians that is already strange. Normally people are most attracted to their own race. If it were otherwise, their own race would not have persisted.
crud why is my image embed not working
In Hawaii everyone seems to like the Asian womens, whether they themselves are white, black, Asian, or whatever. Especially the Japanese since we have so many of them here. As for me I don't recommend the ever-overrated Japanese. (notwithstanding I was sleeping with one last night; she, uh, was different!)
Most people are more attracted to their own race. A minority have a strong preference for women outside of their own race.
Before trains, airplanes, television, photographs, etc. most European men, for example, did not get a chance to go to Asia or see what Asian women looked like. I hear that it was typical to marry some cousin who lived in the same village. In locations where different 'races' intersected, there was some typically some 'intermarriage.' The 'race' concept is an artificial construct. There is more of a spectrum as far as race is concerned. People tended to marry within their own ethnic group, but there were marriages between ethnic groups where these groups interacted, or the men might take women as slaves in battle.