For Asian Americans to discuss Asian American issues and topics.
I originally wrote these for another forum, edited for posting here.
Many Asian American men today are upset at the perceived social injustice they receive in America. One thorny topic is the portrayal of Asian American men in Hollywood, and the stereotype of nerds and martial artists. A recent example is Masi Oka, aka Hiro Nakamura on NBC series Heroes. He's short, nerdy, wears glasses, and ends up wielding a katana in the TV series. How stereotype do you want? To quote Pat Morita, Asian actors are at times so type-casted, you have to speak English with an accent to get the job.
The US has made good progress since segregation era of 1960s. Examples include the infamous Rodney King case, and more recently Wen Ho Lee case where US Judge James A. Parker personally apologized to Lee, for his treatment and the federal government's abuse of power. However, socio-economic discrimination still exist. In my city the residents are mostly middle-upper class whites and Asians. One rare black resident said in an interview that when he stepped outside to mow his lawn, his neighbors called the cops and told them that they saw someone who "didn't belong in the neighborhood". Think I live in the deep South? Nope, I live in a friggin coastal city in California!
Anyways, back to Asian males. Like it or not Asians are a minority in North America, where white American culture is dominate (and exported around the globe). But I'm going to step aside and take a different approach on this.
People in different geographic regions tend to have their own distinct physical appearances and attributes. Common examples include darker skin versus pale skin, taller height versus. shorter height, etc. Prior to the spread of rail transportation, most people lived and died in the same area where they were born. Contact with outsiders were fairly limited for most, and you generally hanged out with your own people.
But things changed from late 1800s to 20th century -- revolutions, WW1, WW2, rail, personal auto, urbanization, etc. all contributed to mass shifting/migration of people. Then suddenly people who previously didn't mix much, found themselves living together in the same city. People with different physical attributes, skin color, facial appearance, body height, etc. all living in close proximity to each other.
A common physical attribute that is considered desirable for men is body height. What happens if you mix a group of people with taller genes, with a group of people with shorter genes in the same location? The presence of many taller men changes the general population's expectations, which often results in height discrimination in social and economic areas. This form of discrimination is called Heightism. It's like a transition from shorter kids being picked up in school playgrounds, to shorter men being picked on when they're adults.
Some of you might argue that there has always been a number of taller vs. shorter people in any racial or ethnic group. Yes there's a bell curve for every group, but what I'm referring to is mixing a group with a a bell curve to the right with another group that has bell curve to the left.
The average height of American men is 5'9", but 90% of American CEO's are 6' or taller. 30% of American CEO's are 6'2"+, while only 3.9% of US population is 6'2". There are many studies on this subject that you can research on the web. One report concludes that statistically, taller men make +$800/year per inch of height vs. shorter men in the US. Also, if you ask many American women, they want to date 6' tall guys. I have one Vietnamese lady friend who would only date men who are 5'10" or taller. What percentage of Vietnamese men are 5'10"+? If she still lived in Vietnam she wouldn't have this kind of expectation, but being here in Los Angeles, and seeing more taller men, changed her expectations in what is acceptable for a BF or husband. She's 5'4" BTW.
In China, some people go through extreme measures to increase their height via surgery. Why do you think they have to do that? Northern Chinese are about 3"-4" taller than Southern Chinese. In old days people stayed in their villages, now they get up and move around to the cities. An influx of taller men from Northern China changed people's expectations. Even if the taller Northerners are a minority, employers want to hire taller men and women want to marry taller husbands.
What are the Chinese Navy's requirement for recruits?
"Good looking, tall (1.7m+), and polite."
So you see, while many Asians complain about being discriminated in the US because of physical attributes, the same level of discrimination exists back home too. We have laws against discrimination based on age, gender, race, but not physical appearance and body height. Why is that? A Vietnamese male friend of mine, who's 5'2", asked me that question once, but I had no answer for him (more on what happened to him in later post).
I picked height discrimination, because that's a fairly universal issue that most of you, regardless of race or background, can identify with. There are many other areas where men, or specifically Asian men might be discriminated against in a highly competitive environment. If you find yourself in such situation, you have the choice of either fighting harder (becoming more competitive), relocate to another environment that's more favorable to you, or "exit" the game and find happiness doing something else. Do not under any circumstance become an Angry Asian like Kenneth Eng:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f ... 7/HATE.TMP
If you want to relocate to another country, to an environment that'd be better for you, ask Ladislav and Winston for some advice. They have a lot more experience living abroad than me and can point you to the right direction.
But if you want to stay and fight it out, read on! For those from 1.5 gen, your parents worked hard to bring you to America so you can have a better life. So what if the dating scene is more competitive? Let's tie that rising sun hachimaki, chant fighto fighto and give it a shot!
Last edited by momopi on Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:02 am, edited 5 times in total.
(With apologies to various other authors, from whom I read & borrowed your ideas and words from.)
Traditionally, men and women took different roles. Men competed against each other for scarce resources (hunting grounds, land/territory, women), but not against women. Men and women joined in monogamous, mutually beneficial unions where they provided, satisfied each other's needs and create a family to continue their civilization. It was an imperfect, but balanced arrangement.
However, today the situation is very different. In many countries today the traditional roles have merged toward both genders competing for scarce resources (jobs). The result is that career advancement often took precedent over family, where marriage and child-rearing becomes secondary. This competition between men and women creates polarized interests. Before anyone starts bashing me for being misogynist, let me say that I believe this is an environmental condition that we have little control over. But God gave us 2 legs for a reason, so we can walk to another place where it better suits us.
In today's western or westernised societies, men and women tend to rate each other by their sexual market value, not friendships, religious piety, etc. A small number of women who don't confirm to this mode take alternate routes, such as attending a Christian college to find a husband, or Mormons marrying a returning missionary. But for the majority of young Americans, men and women pretty much eye each other between the legs. It's interesting to note that in traditional Muslim societies, women takes the role of mothers, sisters, and wives, but almost never girlfriends. Western men are often hostile to Islam, because Islam denies them entry to the women.
Women in the west have a saying, they know if they'd sleep with a guy within the first 5 min of meeting him. What they don't say is that they cannot always be honest about it, because they know a western male's friendliness attitude is often dependent on the hope that he could sleep with the women. If the women tells the guy outright that his sexual market value is too low for her, he will likely never befriend her or do anything for her again. And if the guy was stupid enough to hang around afterwards, he becomes the typical asexual "nice guy" who runs errands for the women and never gets any sex.
If a women already decided that she'd never sleep with you, it's very difficult to change her mind. Sexual attraction is a primal, emotional thing and not logic. You cannot argue with the women into sleeping with you, but you can increase your sexual market value to better your odds at seduction. Sometimes, if a women sees that you've greatly improved yourself, she'd be interested in you without asking. Some men at this point would ask "can that be used to get my ex-GF back?". Well yes and no. If she already left you once, the trust is gone and she has a greater chance of leaving you again. But if you must, ditch the girl for few months, get a total makeover for yourself, then re-appear in front of her. Depending on how well you present the "new" you, she might think "holy sh*t what did I lose" and want to befriend you again. It worked for me before, but honestly, you're better off getting a new girlfriend.
So the question here is, how do you increase your sexual market value? Are you looking between your legs to see if you measure up? Having an inferiority complex? Let's assume a worse case scenario where you're competing against hundreds of American jocks who think they have a big one and not afraid to show it. In 2001 LifeStyles Condom maker went to Cancun and got 401 college boys from America to volunteer for a measurement. The actual measuring was done by cute nurses and not the jock himself, so no cheating! What they found was, only 300 out of 401 managed to get it up, and their sizes where:
There you have it. Unlike previous surveys where men were allowed to measure themselves, cheat like hell and produce results like 6.4" average, there was no cheating on this one. 2 out of 3 jocks were under 6", and 25% had erectile dysfunction! These are supposed to be the self-confident ones who weren't afraid to lowering their pants. In prior scientific/controlled studies, the average American was found to have 5.08" to 5.35". So now you know how you measure up to reality and not pr0n movies, so don't be an idiot like this guy:
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1 ... 720913R131
Now that I've addressed the most important organ for most guys (your family jewels), let's look at the other, real factors to your sexual market value.
Last edited by momopi on Sun Sep 16, 2007 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Are you in the right place?
It's said that environmental factors have a large influence on your life. The Chinese classic San Zi Jing mentions this in the first page:
On line #5, it mentions that the mother of Mencius carefully picked which neighbours to have. Legends claim that she moved three times (孟母三遷 /mÃ¨ng mǔ sān qiān), first away from a cemetery, then away from a marketplace, and finally next to a school, before she was satisfied that her child would have a proper environment. In American real estate, we have a saying that you can fix a house, but not the neighborhood.
Most of us are old enough to choose where we want to live. If you don't like your immediate surroundings, MOVE. God gave you 2 legs so you can vote with your feet. The mother of Mencius didn't like raising her son next to a cemetery, so she moved. If your education, career, and social prospects are weak where you live, learn from the women and move!
Since the primary topic of discussion here is women and dating, let's look at the challenges. American society as progressed from separated European nationalities into the white American identiy, and the various Asian nationalities are slowly moving toward pan-Asian American identity. We're not yet at a point where whites, blacks, Asians, Hispanics integrate freely in a social sense. So your best and easiest prospects as an Asian male is still dating from within your ethnic group.
If you're AM and want to date WF in the US, it's easier if you choose WF who are already interested in Asian language and culture. However be warned that "Asian-philes" tend to have strong opinion on what "Asian" should be. I've had some luck in the anime/manga/drama/cosplay hobby circles. If you think you'd be happy dressed up as Tuxedo Kamen with a blond in a serafuku in tow, you might enjoy cosplay. If you think that's just too weird for you, try elsewhere, or take Winston/Ladislav's advice to go visit Eastern Europe.
If you prefer to date Asians, but your area is lacking in Asians, move to a place with more Asians. This can mean moving overseas, or to another State or City within the US. i.e. If you're Korean living in Indiana and not having much fun, you can relocate to LA and go party/clubbing, where hundreds of Asian girls dressed in skimpy outfits bounce around every weekend at Karnac, Velvet Room, Express, 2626, House of Glam, Go Productions, Vision Shock, etc. (update: Le Prive closed by fire marshal). You could stand outside Tea Ren in Diamond Plaza (Rowland Heights) on Fri/Sat nights and chat up the girls waiting for their drinks. Or, you can attend college here, we call UCI (University of California Irvine) "University of Chinese Immigrants". IVC (Irvine Valley College) has large numbers of Asian girls too.
Should you consider visiting or relocating to another country? Well they say a smart rabbit have many holes, so even if you decide to stay and tough it out in the US, you should still keep a few "escape hatches" open. If you prefer to date Asians girls, needless to say your selection will be broader over in Asia. So if you can't find one here, there's always "plan B". Here's a few clips from Xanga/Seduce in TW:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZwGf7fJ ... ed&search=
Last edited by momopi on Mon Sep 17, 2007 11:58 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Ammunition to improve your sexual market value in the US
* Appearance: Men thinks it's okay to only go after the hot girls, but get all defensive when women critique them on their looks. Beauty is 30% born and 70% effort. You cannot change your race, skin color, height etc., but you can sure get a haircut and exercise.
The dating scene in America is a highly competitive environment, possibly even more competitive for Asian males, unless if you happen to be in your ethnic enclave (Korean guy in K-Town). Your choice is to move to a lesser competitive environment, or dress up to compete. Take a look in the mirror, are you a slob? Still wearing fobbish clothing your parents imported for you? Tried to look metro like this idiot?
http://www.international.ucla.edu/cms/i ... tails1.jpg
Go find a girl who's really fashionable and ask her to help you with your wardrobe. Don't worry if you think she'd never sleep with you, technically you're using her anyway. Take her home and point her to your closet, give her a large plastic trash bag and ask her to toss everything that she thinks you should NOT wear into the bag. Take bag to local goodwill and donate to charity, then proceed to Macy's & Macy's for Men (or similar stores) with girl in tow and have her help you shop for a new wardrobe. Ask the sales person in men's department to measure you for proper fitting. The prices there are pretty reasonable and they have lots of discounts/coupons. Plan to spend at least 2-3 hours at the store, possibly all day if it's your first visit with the girl. Do this at least 3 times in your first year, for summer, fall, and winter clothing. Be sure to thank the girl and buy her dinner.
You can go cheap and buy clothing on sale, but don't skimp on the shoes. Your feet is very important because you need them to walk. Spend whatever that's needed to buy good quality, comfortable shoes. You never know when you might have to walk a long distance.
Been to your dentist lately? These days everyone expects you have perfect looking white teeth. Get your teeth fixed if needed. If you have some minor facial defects, such as a large pimple growing out of your forehead, get cosmetic surgery and have it removed. It's not just about increasing your sexual market value, it also helps in finding employment. Good looking people get hired over ugly ones is a fact of life. Also, most Asian men don't look good with mustache or beard, so get a shave. Koreans are really good at minor cosmetic surgery, see "before and after" photo:
http://lh4.google.com/axiuex2/RumVE7c3L ... oongba.jpg
Hint: Your westernized girlfriend is constantly evaluating if she should stay with you or not. Never dress like a slob around her, epically in front of her friends or visiting her family home. T-shirt and slippers might be OK at your house or by the pool, but not in front of her mom and dad.
* Education: In the US, women are outnumber men in college:
"In 2003, there were 1.35 females for every male who graduated from a four-year college and 1.3 females for every male undergraduate. That contrasts with 1960, when there were 1.6 males for every female graduating from a U.S. four-year college and 1.55 males for every female undergraduate."
Everyone here understands that women prefer to marry up, or at least to comparable levels right? Get a college education or get priced out of the (US) market. Also, with more women at college, the numbers work in your favor! Don't have $? Visit the financial aid office.
In the US there are many companies that offer education reimbursement, that is, your work pays for your college. If you choose to work and attend school part time, you can save some $$ for your place later. However, I recommend getting an arrangement where you can attend classes during the day and not night school, because young college girls are far more plentiful during the day.
* Your own place: Are you still living at home with mommy doing your laundry? Girls don't like if they had to sneak into the house with you at 1am, pass your parent's bedroom, tripping over your transformers toys on the floor, and falling off your small bed while trying to have sex and stay quiet. Get your own place and a larger bed (Queen sized), please!
If you're young or economically unprepared for such a move, you should still plan ahead. While you're living at home, your parents practically paid for everything, down to the toilet paper. Kids don't know what a good deal they have until they move out. Take the opportunity to save for down payment on your own condo. Don't worry if you can only afford a small 1 bed condo to start, you'll build equity and move up in the years to come. US real estate runs on 8-10 year cycles, rent when it's up and buy when it's down. The true value of a condo is based on its potential rental income, that is, your mortgage payment should roughly equal to rent if you were to rent your condo to someone. If it costs you $2000/month to buy a place, while its rental value is only $1000/month, don't buy.
Real estate in the US is actually one of the better methods of building wealth. It's also one of the biggest tax give-aways. If you're selling your primary residence, which you've lived in for at least 2 out of last 5 years, the appreciation/equity gains is tax free for the first $250,000 if you're single, and $500,000 if you're married. Real estate is also one of very few areas where the banks line up to give you hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans. Where else can you find a place where banks compete to give you $, and you can make up to $250k tax free? HOWEVER, you should also understand the risks involved. Just as there are right times and right places to buy, there are wrong times and wrong places to buy as well. Now (2007) is not a good time to buy. Research, think carefully, and ask others for help. If a deal looks too good to be true, it probably is.
If you find yourself in your own place and have no idea what to do, buy a book like this one:
http://www.amazon.com/10-001-Hints-Tips ... 340&sr=8-1
It'd teach you everything from how to read laundry tags, to basics of cooking.
* Your ride: unlike major Asian/European cities, most American cities are rather undeveloped in public transportation, lacking in light rail infrastructure. Americans are obsessed with suburban lifestyle, they're willing to sit in freeway traffic for hours every day just to live in a far-away suburb to afford a house with a patch of grass in the front. Suburban Americans viciously oppose any measure to build more freeways or light rail into their neighborhood, and are anti-urban development.
Aliens from another planet might observe that Americans might be mentally unbalanced to pay such a price so they could kill vegetation in front of their homes every weekend, or hire someone to mow their lawn. But the fact is that you can't get by with buses and taxis in the US. You need to have a car. Some Asians think riced-up cars look cool, judge for yourself:
The rest of us can stick with normal looking wheels, thank you very much. Don't worry if you cannot afford a BMW 5-series, a Honda Civic or Accord is just fine. Buy used to save $$ if necessary. No your girlfriend does not want to be picked up in an old Ford Aspire in front of her friends and family:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... Aspire.jpg
However, if the girl is the type who says "car is fine if it has 4 wheels and runs", and when you open the passenger door for her first, she leans over to open the driver's door for you in return, that girl is a rare marriage material and you should plan to put a ring on her finger as soon as possible.
* Your job: Women marry up the socio-economic ladder. While their immigrant parents might have worked their butts off in a restaurant and they really appreciate their hard working parents, she is not likely to marry a cashier at McDonald's. I had a high school friend who worked for a burger drive-through (In and Out burgers, unique to California), he was very happy that he was promoted from burger flipper to cashier, at age 30. What do you think his sexual market value is?
It's OK if you're flipping burgers or pumping gas at age 19, but do plan ahead. Most American cities are expensive, where people working in service sector (i.e. Walmart) would find it difficult to buy a house and making a living. If you're young, count your blessings that you have the advantage of time and youth. Look up various career options and what the pay off is. Want to make 6 figures? Get into a profession that pays 6 figures. Find a mentor already experienced in the field and ask him/her to help you.
Even if you plan to move abroad eventually, it may be difficult to make $ over there. You might not even get a VISA that permits you work. It's better to be prepared with a bankroll or passive income source at home before your world adventure.
Avoid unethical businesses. I meet a guy who bragged that he made lots of $$ hording construction supplies after Hurricane Katrina. That kind of profit from other people's mass misery is about as bad karma as you can get.
* Your attitude: it's said that a man's real character is shown when he loses, and not when he wins. A winner can always be gracious to the loser, but losers can't always graciously accept their loss. Learn to be a gentlemen, but not a "nice guy" to be taken advantage of. Being a gentleman doesn't mean you'd win all the time, but there are occasional pay-offs. You can cultivate yourself by taking up one-on-one sports that strongly encourage good sportsmanship, such as fencing, golf, or even chess.
When I was 20 years old, I was attending a local college with majority white student population (demographics has changed since). Needless to say most of my dates were white, simply because... the school was full of white girls. One day I was walking to my class and saw the door closed, and several students sitting in the hall way. I asked what was up and they told me the teacher hasn't came yet.
After waiting for a while the students began to leave. I noticed a cute redhead from the class sitting across from me, so I went up to chat her up and see if she was interested in hanging out. She said no, which I "graciously" accepted with a smile (eye contact!), shrugged my shoulders and said, I thought she looked bored and might like to go hang out at the mall for a bit, but if she's not interested, that's cool, I'll just go get some snacks there by myself. As I was walking away you could almost imagine the gears ticking in her head. A few seconds later she called out "HEY YOU, WAIT, STOP". 5 minuets later we were on our way to the mall, and a week later she became my 2nd girlfriend from college.
What not to do: a Japanese female friend told me that one of her guy friends from college (UC Davis) asked her out, and she turned him down. He proceeded to take out a multi-page letter to read to her and confess his undying love and affection, then bitch and moan about how women don't want him for 45 min. Um, dude, hello -- low sexual market value.
* Character: In a previous post I mentioned about a Vietnamese guy friend of mine, who was 5'2". He's short, balding, and probably rank low on by American sexual market value standards.
But there's one thing that he had that I really respected was his character. When I first meet him, his mother was dying and she made him knee by her bedside and swear to 3 promises, to look after the family as the eldest son, to never take drugs, and to abstain from sex until marriage.
After his mother passed away, he quit grad school and went to work to support the family, and send his younger brother through pre-med. He kept his promises and eventually found a girl who admired his strong moral character. They're married now, attend (Catholic) Church regularly and have a kid. I think their marriage will probably last a very long time.
* Dating Asian women: unlike the old days when women married via pre-arranged marriage, the modern Asian women is independent and chooses her own mate. However, there is still a clash of traditional culture and modern, western culture in her head, The result is that many are actually mentally unstable, caught between the expectation to be a good Asian wife versus western dating culture. Learn to identify the crazy ones, such as having a history of... attempting to run over an ex-BF with her car, threatening to commit suicide with a knife unless if he married her, being sent to local mental ward for 72 hour evaluation, etc.
Many westernised Asian women have high expectations. A young Asian waitress working at your local Chinese restaurant wants to marry a tall, handsome guy rolling in $$. She wants good breeding stock for her kids as well as a good provider. She's not going to give the bus boy at the same restaurant another look. If you happen to be that bus boy, you gotta do something to improve your market value.
Often, the Asian male is insecure about himself in front of such women and cannot bring himself to ask her out on a date. Thus, we have a bad situation where many Asian women complain "how come no decent Asian guys ask me out", and Asian guys complaining "why are all the white guys stealing our women". Well, there's a lot more single white guys here and many are well established and will to ask the girl out on the date. Sorry for the girl isn't going to turn down a good prospect just so that she could play on "her own team". Want an Asian GF/Wife in the US? Improve your sexual market value and hit them up.
* Your health: had your physical exam yet? The only person qualified to give you professional advice on your health, is your doctor. If you're sexually active, get a full STD test annually. Even if you're not sexually active, get a full blood works done anyway and ask to check for cholesterol and diabetes. Get your hepatitis A and B immunization shots, they usually take 5 shots over 6 months to complete.
All STD's are treatable, if not curable. I'm sure you all know to use a condom, never know where the girl's been. If you're unlucky enough to catch something, the earlier you diagnose and treat it, the better the chances of curing it completely. Good health is important to improving your sexual market value. Most animals reject sick members of their species as a mate. We're biologically wired to look for strong, healthy mates. If you can project a strong, healthy image, your chances with women will greatly improve.
A good, educational TV series to watch is A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex, you can download it via Bit torrent:
http://www.isohunt.com/torrents/?ihq=Gu ... entury+sex
(Warning: videos contain educational, but explicit content)
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Girl's_G ... entury_Sex
* Religion: A good place to meet people, network, and meet women is your local Church or Temple. If you're religious or came from religious background, consider become more active in your local Church's activities. Many progressive Church's have "singles events". One local Church here targets young adults and have concerts on Friday nights. They say a family that prays together, stays together. And God did say to "be fruitful and multiply".
* Social networking: If Church ain't your thing, and you think going to Church just to find a GF is sacrilegious and you'd be struck by lightning, well, there are many secular social networking options. Examples range from your local nature hike or running clubs, to local gym and various on-line networking sites. In areas with many Asians, you can join local Asian singles network & events at sites such as sina.com (match.sina.com).
My experience is that once you get to know one girl, you eventually get to meet a lot of her female friends, and your social circle will multiply. Sometimes your friends will hook you up too! People are pretty xenophobic in the US, but they feel less threatened when accompanied by friends or are with a group.
* Expand your options: In many areas of the US, Hispanics are now the majority, or on their way to becoming the majority. Have you considered dating a Hispanic girl? There are many good looking Hispanic girls and they got great bodies! If you have Catholic background it'd be a plus too.
* Learn Asian languages: You should, at the minimum, be able to read a restaurant menu written in your ethnic-background's language (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, etc).
* Other misc. points:
Women prefers to date men who are more mature, knowledgeable, and can show her new things. Once you've successfully asked a girl out, or start dating a girl, you should have a list of restaurants and places to take her. Look up food/restaurant blogs in your local city.
There are only 2 types of women you date, the ones that you have fun/sex with but not marry, and the ones that you marry. Know what kind of girl you're hooking up with from beginning and be honest about it. It's OK to have a consensual relationship for fun only. Don't lie or lead the person to believe that you want more. If you're serious about courting someone for marriage, be up front about it and let the girl know where you want the relationship to go. If she's not the marrying type, it's better that she tells you now than later.
Lastly, remember that if things don't work out here, there's a big world out there! Winston and Ladislav spent a lot of time to write their journals, read them and find out what's avail outside the US.
Last edited by momopi on Fri May 16, 2008 11:27 pm, edited 11 times in total.
In defense of Hiro or Heroes, though, that show is quite heavily influenced by Japan's own animation and the Hiro character by so many Japanese leads, who are often short, nerdy and weak until they get their robot, sword or superpower. The fact that a network, prime time TV show allowed so many scenes to be in Japanese language with subtitles is legendary.
But yes, I was once at a hotel with a few of my Japanese buddies and they flipped on the TV and lo, the short lived, Russel Wong series Vanishing Son came up. One of them immediately asked, "Why is it that in America when you see orientals on TV they have to be doing martial arts?"
“b***y is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of b***y in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan
Hair styles for Asian men:
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/fashionti ... dvice.html
How to attract women as a "bad boy":
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_ ... dvice.html
Or you can try to look like this guy:
I've known girls who are only attracted to screwed up guys, they're usually mental nut cases. But if you don't mind having a girl stalk you or try to run you over in her car because you didn't pay attention to her, um... go for it.
Last edited by momopi on Mon Sep 17, 2007 6:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Your right sexual market value is VERY important to both men and women! Women may not admit it (saying all there looking for is a nice guy and she does not care how much money he makes etc.) but women are naturally looking for a guy who will be a good provider and can protect her. Women are attracted to guys who are confident. Most women won't consider dating a guy who is shorter than her but a guys looks are not as important to a women as a women's looks are as important to a guy.
One more thing, even if you have high market value in the eyes of women, something that will lower it will be if you hang out with guys who have low market value. In other words if your in shape and hang out with guys that are fat, that will lower your value in the eyes of women. Also, if you are good looking but hang out with nerds, that will also lower your value in the eyes of women. The company you keep is very important, especially in the eyes of women.
Last edited by jamesbond on Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
you should be able to hang out with people you find interesting.
See the exclusion that goes on in American society? It's called fitting in and being accepted. Europe isn't that way. And it's not just Winston who has said that-I've had this confirmed by at least 3 other people.
Fact 1: White guys with Asian fetish / yellow fever are picking up all the Asian chicks everywhere, BIG time, so there is now a surplus of single Asian males.
Fact 2: Even in California, it is uncommon to see Anglo guys with Latinas, whereas it is extremely common to see Anglo guys with East and Southeast Asian women.
Now add up the two facts: 1+1
Solution: More power to them! While all those white dudes are being preoccupied by Asian chicks, that means more Latinas for me hahahaha. And more white and black girls too. Problem solved.
@ chanta76: Yes, there are non Asian girls (including myself) open to dating and marrying Asian men. It's happened in the past, is happening now and will continue to. There are Facebook groups, blogs, websites etc based on non Asian girls who love, dated and married Asian guys. (I happened to stumble upon these, hehehe ) They aren't as visible/many as white guys with asian girls but they are there nonetheless.
Ironically, I sometimes wonder the same thing (reverse situation) since I only see Asian guys with Asian girls.
"Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures." - Cesar Chavez
Y es they are ! me hahaha
Do u happen to look a bit like andrew fung ? lol
No, seriously i do , but i guess my opinion is invalid since i dont live in the states
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
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