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Racism non-Asian women face dating Asian men

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Racism non-Asian women face dating Asian men

Postby zboy1 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:37 pm

Take a look at the blog post on non-Asian women dating Asian men:

http://www.speakingofchina.com/ask-the- ... asian-men/

Read the comments about the racism these women face in dating Asian men. Some of the women's experiences are incredible. And you wonder why no one wants to date Asian men because of the backlash, racism. and negative reactions from other races--including from Asian women!


WHY is there nothing but negative reactions from anyone who hears that my boyfriend is asian? The reactions don’t seem to be specific to the country he is from… they are just so grossed out that anyone can actually date an asian guy. “Yuck! They beat their wives! They are so boring! They have tiny dicks! They are too girly, They look uglyâ€￾, etc etc.. I’ve heard it all. Or, if the reaction is not totally negative, they are always INVASIVELY curious about every aspect of our relationship. “Does he speak english? Where did you find him? Is it true they have small dicks?â€￾

Now if I was with literally anyone else, no one would bat an eye. Men of other races seem to be the most disgusted and seem to take it as a personal affront. Women are more polite, but shake their heads as if to say “what a waste.â€￾ Even my girlfriends who are Taiwanese don’t like asian men.. a Japanese gay guy I know ONLY dates Black men, but no one criticizes his taste. I also feel like people think I have yelllow fever and it pisses me off – if I decided to exclusively date say, white guys, no one would care.

I seriously feel sorry for Asian guys who are just trying to get dates out there, having to work against this enormous negative image. And I live in NYC! I can only imagine how much worse it is in suburbia.

Have you had similar negative reactions when mentioning your Chinese husband? Ugh! I apologize for ranting, but this makes me so mad!



Nobody ever says anything negative when I mention my Chinese husband.

But then again, I live in the middle of nowhere, work from home, and I can’t even remember the last time I mentioned him to someone new. (Trust me, it’s a really, really small town.) ;-)

Look, I’ve had my share of the negativity. That’s why I stopped tracking the phrase “Chinese menâ€￾ on Twitter, and why I never hang out in Asian expat forums (home of the ubiquitous, Asian-male-hating anonymous asshole). And, of course, it’s why I’ll never watch another movie with Cameron “I don’t want to kiss Jay Chouâ€￾ Diaz. (Cameron, you’re on my shit list.)

Why all the negativity about dating Asian men (and, in my case, Chinese men)? Is it the media that refuse to let Chinese men become one the next Harrison Ford or Cary Grant, that iconic sexy and strong leading man? The stereotypes? The fact that they’re simply ignorant assholes?

I think a better question is, why are they the ones thinking about dicks and beating women and ugliness? Whatever it is, it’s obviously these people who have the problem, and not you. The guys might be threatened by seeing you with an Asian guy, someone they always figured they could somehow “out-doâ€￾ to get the attention of a girl like you. The girls might have, say, watched things like Sixteen Candles a few too many times, clueless to the reality that there are so many amazing Asian men (and, in my case, Chinese men ;-) ) out there.

If you ever run into such imbeciles again, why not take their negativity and throw it right back at them with a good comeback? For example:

“Oh…so you like small dick?â€￾

To which I cheerfully reply, “Nope. I find that rumor to be largely unfounded. I just hate ugly faces.â€￾



But for all the low level stupidity, thankfully there has only been one person in my life who was outlandishly offensive about my being in love with a Taiwanese guy. Comments from this person included “You know, animals in the jungle usually mate with their own species… that’s the natural order of things…. I think you should consider that!â€￾ and “I just have no idea how you can find Asian men attractive!! Really! What’s wrong with you? White men not good enough?â€￾ Needless to say, this person is no longer a part of my life. They’re a rather sad and lonely figure and by no means the representative of what people normally think.

At the end of the day, I fell for my hubby for all the same reasons anyone falls for the love of their life. It just so happened that he is Taiwanese and this is a fact that has only served to brighten and bring colour my life. There’s always going to be idiots in the world, but hopefully their number is diminishing.


And you wonder why Asian men have high suicide rates in Western countries! And I don't want to hear that white's aren't racist because these experiences from women prove otherwise...
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Postby zboy1 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:53 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84H7X5KSfIA[/youtube]

For more examples of the problem I'm talking about, check out the racist comments from this Youtube clip showing two beautiful couples involving an Asian man and attractive White women.
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Postby zboy1 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:36 pm

From one of the female commentors:

Most of this has to do with race..most whites dont like whites dating blacks and the feeling is mutual among many blacks. With Asians it is a bit complicated.

1. Many whites think it is ok for a white male to date an Asian female, but that a white female should not date an Asian male.

2. There are some whites, particularly some white women, who strongly believe like the one person Kath mentioned…they find interracial couples, disgusting and revolting period, particularly the white women in America…but also go to any site dealing with white South Africans, particularly the Dutch ancestry variety…you will get a visceral reaction to any interracial couples…try the website Afrikaans chicks for instance…of course you need to understand Afrikaans to understand most of the comments.
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Postby Blue Murder » Sat Jun 02, 2012 11:20 pm

Haha. This post illustrates why the human race sucks. Can't get over a pigment in the skin -- even after thousands of years.

Racism doesn't upset me, just makes me chuckle.

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Postby DarkMinxMish » Sun Jun 03, 2012 3:25 am

Hey,

yeah I would have to co-sign on this. It becomes incredibly awkward and painfully hilarious for some people when they learn that a female of non-asian descent is actually interested or seen with an asian guy.

I know now there's this who asian-filia thing going on with some women and they just have to get a asian b/f like he's an accessory. (blame it on k-pop and Ninja Assassin...)

Others have a really strong interest in the culture or what not, but to genuinely want to meet them on a down to earth is sort of frowned upon. It's weird guys can date all of the asian chicks they want and no one bats a eye. The whole situation changes when a woman wants to do it and they act as if asian guys can't handle females period. :oops:

Anyway I went to school with a few asian guys and they really weren't stereotypical at all. They were each very different in personality. There were two really hot asian guys that the asian chicks kept their claws in and tried to shoo all others away. Since they all sat at the "asian table" it made the girls job easier keeping them all to themselves...until one day during my 10th grade yr. in h/s this asian guy "who shall not be named" came to sit at my table. I wasn't really friends with him, but had classes with the guy every now and then since middle school. We didn't really get along well and overtime we had this sort of antagonistic psuedo relation of where if you push my button, I'll push yours sort of thing.

It made my day less boring I have to admit and it kept others amused. So he would come sit at my table at every lunch talking it up with a couple of friends. I remember some of the asian kids would look over at us and glare at me. Since I was a bookworm who kept my head stuck in historical romance smut I didn't pay them too much attention as to why the looks.

See I'm a naturally quiet, shy, and daydreamy type of person, but this guy made it his mission to upset my perfect balance of distance/niceness....he did all of this in a passive aggressive way. He was breaking my barriers and making me look crazy since I would react yet he act like he never did anything.

So...to make a long story short he did things that I would consider personal like snatch my shit, share my food, and wonder where I wasn't in a certain class we share and etc....I was so oblivious...for awhile, but eventually I knew that this guy must like me. My mind was like wow I never seen an asian guy go for a black girl...especially since this guy was really hot and he could've had any other girl he wanted. I was really unsure, because I thought most asian males went if not for there own then it was a white chick. My response to his passive aggressive demeanor was to be critical, oblivious, and silent. The whole situation made me anxious, because I could feel all of the "eyes" on us.
The others would watch and talk amongst themselves. It was really unorthodox how it came about since I never really dated and kept to myself a lot of people were curious.

I felt like I was silently being questioned by people and the other asian chicks I would see in our Asian culture club looked at me with contempt. It was embarrassing.....they acted like they didn't know my name and got it confused with the "other" black female in the club. We sometimes made conversation, but I usually ended up trying to find a dignified way to split.
I think he was highly amused by my behavior....our behavior towards each other was hot and cold.

I remember one time we did have a actual conversation at lunch. He sat beside me and somehow got me out of my book enough to talk. It wasn't bad actually and I don't remember what we discussed, but we ended up laughing. This drew so much attention omg and than he had the nerve enough to get all touchy and tickle me. WHY??? on earth in h/s in front of all of them. It's like giving predators something to chew on....I could not stop laughing and yet I know some of it was hysteria.
Everyone had gotten so silent...it was embarrassing.


He may have been all upfront about it, but he was shy too. I know he wanted to actually have us both say how we felt, but I was really good at denial and hid my attraction behind obliviousness and glares. So I ran away....and he never actually put our oddness into words. There was so much unresolved tension between us and i'm certain if I just made a move we would've been in a hall closet some where.
We sort of resolved somewhat with a good bye hug during graduation. God he smelt wonderful.... 8)

Anyway that was the closet thing I've had to an actual relationship and it was all emotional and eye smexing....when we weren't being a-holes to one another. Even though he was american he still knew his language and spoke it often.

So yeah Z-Boy asian guys are desirable. Just don't let the media tell you anything different or let people sway your opinion. The media is there to ruin and brainwash. That's all and it doesn't really help people in a positive way in the first place. If I listened to people and the media that all black women were undesirable I'd be majorly depressed. But I know better and that it's all crap to, because black women pull plenty of men of different ethnicities. If your attractive someone will like you period.

As for the stereotypes blah all bullshit usually. Not all asian are nerdy, shy, and etc....as far as the small penis theory lol sorry can't say. Especially now asian men should be racking up on chicks hehehehe Rain-bi did you guys a major favor....trust me.
And for people who say otherwise their freaking dumb there's plenty of nice looking asian men out there.

I think it's just jealousy though I do get it when they say asian males look less masculine. When people think masculine they think Hugh Jackman, but there's various types of masculinity out there. Not all of them look girly, but it's something that's different and more refined I guess.

Gawd I hope this helps....I wasn't even going to post this.

:oops:
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We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?"
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Postby zboy1 » Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:36 am

That was a good response Dark. Being an Asian male in Western society is very discouraging for most; look at what Winston had to go through growing up. I went through a lot growing up as well. Of course, there are Asian alpha-male types that do very well in the U.S. and other Western countries, but they are an outlier. Think about all the factors that goes against Asian males in the U.S. such as the bad media portrayal, racism from White/Black/Hispanics, harsh stereotypes, and even Asian women hating on us. It's very hard on some Asian men...
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Postby Dragon » Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:24 pm

zboy1 wrote:That was a good response Dark. Being an Asian male in Western society is very discouraging for most; look at what Winston had to go through growing up. I went through a lot growing up as well. Of course, there are Asian alpha-male types that do very well in the U.S. and other Western countries, but they are an outlier. Think about all the factors that goes against Asian males in the U.S. such as the bad media portrayal, racism from White/Black/Hispanics, harsh stereotypes, and even Asian women hating on us. It's very hard on some Asian men...


Yup. Asian guy who grew up in the US reporting in. In media, everyone acknowledges Asians as the model minority that every other minority should strive to be. Behind closed doors however, Asian males are viewed as second-class "sexual beings." Small penis, women beating, poor English...you name it, they say it. It pretty much negates anything Asian males do to be successful.

I have to say, unfortunately, that as much as I love traditional Asian culture, I have to blame it for how things are. Asian females who grew up in an Asian culture where being proper, seen as successful, and having high status is super important. Naturally, they would choose non-Asian males, especially whites, as they have higher "sexual" status. Females in general are pretty malleable in this regard. If a particular country gets conquered, who are the first group of people to flock to their conquerors? Yup, the women.
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Postby Falcon » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:09 am

Look here. You all need to stop obsessing over this "Asian male in America" issue and just move on by doing whatever works for you.

So I just charge right on and go for them Latinas. We're happy, and everyone around us is happy. Problem solved.

Sometimes when I'm speaking Spanish, doing Mexican stuff, acting Mexican with other Mexicans, hanging out with Mexicans, or whatever - you get the idea - white people somehow think I'm Mexican. Or they get confused looks on their faces and wonder what to make of me. In these cases, it's because I don't fit their preconceptions of what an Asian male should be like. So instead of obsessing over stereotypes, I simply go ahead and do what I want to do, be what I want to be.
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Postby zboy1 » Mon Oct 29, 2012 8:04 am

Falcon wrote:Look here. You all need to stop obsessing over this "Asian male in America" issue and just move on by doing whatever works for you.

So I just charge right on and go for them Latinas. We're happy, and everyone around us is happy. Problem solved.

Sometimes when I'm speaking Spanish, doing Mexican stuff, acting Mexican with other Mexicans, hanging out with Mexicans, or whatever - you get the idea - white people somehow think I'm Mexican. Or they get confused looks on their faces and wonder what to make of me. In these cases, it's because I don't fit their preconceptions of what an Asian male should be like. So instead of obsessing over stereotypes, I simply go ahead and do what I want to do, be what I want to be.


That's easy for you say Falcon, since you have the opportunity to travel to Mexico, China, and other foreign countries. Some of us can't do that either because of job obligations, family, or lack of money. I'm determined to live overseas, but so far, I've not been successful in my attempts. I've been turned down for every job opportunity overseas. At to that, being unemployed for two years, and it does get frustrating sometimes.
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Postby royaldude » Mon Oct 29, 2012 8:24 am

Can asian guys date white girls sure. Having said that they face a few issues. First off many asian guys are not very tall at least relative to white women. Asian men generally speaking dont date fat women. Unlike black guys they do not settle for fat white girls. So asian guys are competing with white guys for skinny white women. Can they get them sure, but white american women will never be an easy lay for american asian men. Shit they are not always easy for white american guys with the height, looks and wealth to boot.
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Re: Racism non-Asian women face dating Asian men

Postby Teal Lantern » Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:48 pm

zboy1 wrote:Take a look at the blog post on non-Asian women dating Asian men:

http://www.speakingofchina.com/ask-the- ... asian-men/

Read the comments about the racism these women face in dating Asian men. Some of the women's experiences are incredible. And you wonder why no one wants to date Asian men because of the backlash, racism. and negative reactions from other races--including from Asian women!

...

And you wonder why Asian men have high suicide rates in Western countries! And I don't want to hear that white's aren't racist because these experiences from women prove otherwise...


Asian men and women are doing alright in the dating/mating scene.

Marriage between black African and Chinese girls
http://www.afroshanghai.com/forums/inde ... ,74.0.html

Chinese in Africa: Chinese Men Marry African Wife
http://www.chinawhisper.com/chinese-in- ... rican-wife

Now, go get yours. 8)
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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Postby jamesbond » Tue Oct 30, 2012 2:06 pm

Falcon wrote:Look here. You all need to stop obsessing over this "Asian male in America" issue and just move on by doing whatever works for you.

So I just charge right on and go for them Latinas. We're happy, and everyone around us is happy. Problem solved.


Your right Falcon, Zboy1 is obsessed with the issue of race. Every week he posts topics about racism and how terrible white people in america are.

A read a study last year that said, people who talk about racism all the time, are actually racist themselves!
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Postby zboy1 » Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:05 pm

jamesbond wrote: Every week he posts topics about racism and how terrible white people in america are.


That's a load of bull and you know it! Here's a list of topics I've either posted or started that dealt with racism from non-Whites:

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... sc&start=0


And since this a dating/traveling/Anti-American forum, issues of race will always come up as evidenced by topics started by people besides me always popping up on the forum.
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Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » Mon May 13, 2013 10:58 pm

zboy1 wrote:
jamesbond wrote: Every week he posts topics about racism and how terrible white people in america are.


That's a load of bull and you know it! Here's a list of topics I've either posted or started that dealt with racism from non-Whites:

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... sc&start=0


And since this a dating/traveling/Anti-American forum, issues of race will always come up as evidenced by topics started by people besides me always popping up on the forum.


LOL
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