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Asian Americans caught between 2 worlds, accepted by neither

For Asian Americans to discuss Asian American issues and topics.

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Joined: June 6th, 2014, 9:47 am

Re: Asian Americans caught between 2 worlds, accepted by nei

Post by RickyRetardo » July 12th, 2015, 1:53 am

Yes, I do feel that way. The best thing I've found to treat it is to avoid obsessing over it, to the best extent you can.

Accept yourself as an Asian-American--Asian ancestry, American citizenship (or residence or what have you). That's who we are, and that is fine. If others don't like it, that's their problem. There isn't enough solidarity in the Asian American community though, and that is bothersome.

Winston, I think you would be happier if you didn't worry about "women" and tried to get a wife or steady girlfriend. There ARE a fair amount of European women who are open to dating Asian men, but they all will want a man who has something special to offer. Very few women will overlook appearance if a guy doesn't have something special that she can see (even if he has a lot of unique and good characteristics, if she doesn't see them, for her they may as well not exist). Even if they don't love the way Asian men look as much as they like the look of White men, some of them would be open to dating you anyway. I like the way East Asian women look more than any other race, by far, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't date a white girl or a black girl if I liked her personality.

Another thing that helps a lot is not caring so much whether others like you. It's normal to care somewhat, but if you worry about it, this causes stress, and that affects your appearance. A stressed out person will start to look ugly, and might even feel sick. It's usually a very vague feeling of sickness, which arises in the unconscious. Sometimes you don't even notice it's there until it goes away--that's my case, at least.

There are millions and millions of women in Europe. At least some of them would be glad to date or even marry you. But if you start worrying about finding them, or lamenting your height, or getting down on yourself, that's going to kill the good parts of your personality and get you trapped in a negative thought loop, which will turn them off.
Let's get together and feel alright.

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