Winston in China! Updates and Photos

[Ghost]

.

[Winston]

You guys are making up shit and generalizing. There is NO RULE that says that talking about conspiracies with Chinese women is taboo. It's NEVER made even ONE IOTA of a difference in whether they were attracted to me or not. You guys are just looking for something to blame for the fact that most women don't find me sexually attractive. The truth is, I've talked about conspiracies with women who liked me, and women who weren't that attracted to me, and it never made any difference. I've talked about them with Dianne, and even with this Chinese woman in Taiwan named Ling Ling who still slept with me many times regardless.

The truth is, you can talk to Chinese women about anything. Whether they will sleep with you or not is NOT based on what you talked about. You guys are a bunch of frigging morons. I swear.

It's all very simple. You can talk to women about anything, a wide variety of things. If they are interested, they will ask questions about it and carry on the conversation. If they are not, they will give very little input or change the subject. It's no different with conspiracies. Some do like talking about them and will look interested. If so, then it's ok to talk about them. Conspiracies are a part of life. If they do not look interested, then you talk about something else. Very simple.

It's the same with human affairs. If someone is interested in a topic then you can keep talking about it. If not, then change the subject. Why is that so hard for you morons to understand?! Everyone knows this.

You can talk to Chinese women about many topics, a wide variety. You do not have to stick with money or pop culture or simple things. Some are willing to talk about anything. Even conspiracies or the paranormal.

The thing is, a lot of you have no real experience with women or dating. You just read PUA literature and think you have it all figured out to a formula. But reality doesn't work that way. It all comes down to chemistry and attraction. If she likes you, you can talk about anything or wear T shirt and jeans. It doesn't matter. If she isn't into you, it doesn't matter how stylishly you dress or what you talk about. She isn't going to put out.

Those of us with real dating experience know this. We've experienced it. But a lot of you are talking out of your ass and do not understand women or human dynamics.

There is NO RULE that says that all women are not interested in talking about conspiracies or that they are a taboo subject. Not true. SOME women are interested and will ask questions about them and put some input on them.

So stop making shit up guys. It makes you look stupid.

[droid]

God damn it man its not wheter or not its taboo but whether it will get you laid more casually, as per your plead. They may pay attention and see you as an intellectual but it might turn off their other circuitry.

Its not about pua either, there is stuff you can shoot yourself in the foot with.
i bet ethan could manage to screw up too by talking about that stuff or some feces related subject over dinner.

i dont want to think pete is right and see you really are uncoachable and unwilling to try different stuff [see popular definition for insanity]

[smallcheese]

God damn it man its not wheter or not its taboo but whether it will get you laid.
they may pay attention and see you as an intellectual but it might turn off their other circuitry.
Its not about pua either but there is stuff you van shoot yourself.in the foot.
i dont want to think pete is right and see you arr really uncoachable and unwilling to try different stuff

Ever heard the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Guess who the old dog is here.

Or as Einstein supposed said: "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

You know, like the programmer who keeps hitting the enter key over and over again because he's absolutely positive that the code he wrote is flawless in its logic. "Damnit, there must be something wrong with the computer."

[xiongmao]

Actually I'd disagree with Ghost on the promiscuity thing. In all the time I spent living in China and Thailand I found "good" (i.e. non-bar girl) Thai women were very conservative. Chinese women were on the whole not.

What was the difference? I found Thailand to be a very devout country. Bangkok was much more devoutly religious than Barcelona is. By contrast China had the cultural revolution that swept away many traditions.

I didn't meet any Chinese bar girls - in fact I can't think I even went in any bars. Bars are for relaxing, and that's something Chinese people don't do much. There were KTV places in Guangzhou, but I stayed away from those. Falcon and I went to a laowai bar, but it was full of married laowais, with laowai hunters nowhere to be seen.

Most of the Chinese women I met were 32 - 36. Most had boyfriends before. One was divorced. Most spoke fluent English, although 2 spoke practically none. 2 were princesses, but most were just everyday girl next door types. Most had some money, nobody was what I would call poor.

I think Winston should get a dog and take it for walks. Dogs are perfect opener props.

[Moretorque]

Mr. Wu drops his trouser's and scares them off.

Terrified of the yellow anaconda?

Mr. Wu needs to go have a pe nus reduction procedure done and he may have better results in not scaring them off.

I bet even the bot with the high speed titanium rod is a touch Jealous of Mr.Wu ?

[Winston]

Also, I think Winston should avoid discussing conspiracy theories with women, especially on initial dates - things like the moon-landing or 911 being a hoax are really not the types of subjects to bring up during the initial dates with Chinese women unless she's the rare intellectual type, which is tough to find. So that's something I definitely feel Winston needs to be toning down on.

What the f*ck? Are you saying Winston is actually talking about this stuff on dates? I thought guys here were just assuming that he was. He probably comes across as Aspie/autistic to them, rabbiting on about ludicrous stuff that nobody cares about or is interested in.

No I do not talk about conspiracies on first dates. But if I get to know a girl better and she is comfortable around me, I may bring it up for fun or as part of a conversation in response to her question. But no I do not ramble on about conspiracies. It's just for a while. But it's NEVER made on iota of difference in whether a girl liked me or not. You guys are just looking for something to blame. And falsely too.

There is nothing wrong with talking about different topics with women. If she is comfortable around you, you can talk about anything. Some women, like the 33 year old I'm dating, Winnie, asks me a lot of questions about me and about America and the world. Sometimes when I talk about America, I have to talk about conspiracies, because conspiracies are part of American history and society. Even feminism is a conspiracy. So if someone asks you a question about America, that is CAUSED by a conspiracy, such as feminism, the Federal Reserve, turning men into women and women into men, gay rights, etc. then you have a right to be HONEST and explain why there is a conspiracy behind it. It could be a student, an acquaintance, a language exchange partner, or a woman you are dating.

What is wrong with giving honest answers to honest questions? If someone asks me a question related to conspiracies, there's nothing wrong with mentioning it. It's not like conspiracies are all I talk about. So don't get the false impression.

Are you guys deaf? Or are you going to assume that all I talk about are conspiracies? In reality they are part of a myriad of things that I talk about. So stop misportraying me please. And stop assuming falsely that me mentioning anything conspiracy related is turning off women. It isn't. So stop the fiction please.

Obviously if someone isn't interested in conspiracies, I don't talk about them.

It's funny how you guys believe something false and keep repeating it over and over again. You guys are like a bunch of friggin animals.

Again, please PAY ATTENTION: I HAVE NEVER EVER LOST A GIRL'S INTEREST BY TALKING ABOUT CONSPIRACIES. NEVER! PLEASE STOP SPREADING THE FALSE RUMOR THAT I HAVE. BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, I HAVE NOT! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR STUPID HEADS!

Winston is in a bad country for getting laid. Chinese women tend to be a lot more conservative and protected by their families and they tend to seek for marriage. There are low numbers of single moms - China is not nearly such a promiscuous society like the Philippines is. There are ample p4p options in China - this is what Winston should do to get his dick wet and his brain straight before going wife-hunting. (If he wants a wife - otherwise, go back to Philippines.) The guys who do get laid in China have to go to nightclubs and bars. That will get you sluts if you put in the effort, but this is definitely the minority of girls. Then of course you have westernized bitches in the major cities. When mongers get laid in China they are almost universally getting either club girls or big city girls (think of scowling American career bitches.)

I've noticed that too. Every single mom I met in China are divorcees who had their child during wedlock. I have not met a single mom who has never been married in China.

So I don't know where this idea that Chinese women have sex fast if they like you, comes from. It's just an assumption. However, Rock and Ethan get Chinese women to sleep with them outside of marriage. So I don't know why I'm held to a different standard.

Besides, having to get married before you have sex is a bad deal for the man. He has to pay for an expensive wedding costing thousands of dollars, then buy a house for her, then pay a dowry to the bride's family. All of this could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Then after marriage, his wife could say she has a headache and delay sex. Or she could just have sex a few times, get pregnant, then focus on the baby and forget her husband's sexual needs.

It's much better to just have casual sex or do p4p. Far less costly and less complicated than the above. However, the problem with P4P in China is that it feels like a hustle with bad vibes. Ethan and I ran into people offering P4P and that "hustling vibe" feels very negative, pushy and a turn off to the senses. We experienced this in massage parlors too that offer blow jobs or hand jobs. The vibe is too pushy and aggressive and turns you off.

I guess there's no perfect solution in China.

[Rock]

Also, I think Winston should avoid discussing conspiracy theories with women, especially on initial dates - things like the moon-landing or 911 being a hoax are really not the types of subjects to bring up during the initial dates with Chinese women unless she's the rare intellectual type, which is tough to find. So that's something I definitely feel Winston needs to be toning down on.

What the f*ck? Are you saying Winston is actually talking about this stuff on dates? I thought guys here were just assuming that he was. He probably comes across as Aspie/autistic to them, rabbiting on about ludicrous stuff that nobody cares about or is interested in.

No I do not talk about conspiracies on first dates. But if I get to know a girl better and she is comfortable around me, I may bring it up for fun or as part of a conversation in response to her question. But no I do not ramble on about conspiracies. It's just for a while. But it's NEVER made on iota of difference in whether a girl liked me or not. You guys are just looking for something to blame. And falsely too.

There is nothing wrong with talking about different topics with women. If she is comfortable around you, you can talk about anything. Some women, like the 33 year old I'm dating, Winnie, asks me a lot of questions about me and about America and the world. Sometimes when I talk about America, I have to talk about conspiracies, because conspiracies are part of American history and society. Even feminism is a conspiracy. So if someone asks you a question about America, that is CAUSED by a conspiracy, such as feminism, the Federal Reserve, turning men into women and women into men, gay rights, etc. then you have a right to be HONEST and explain why there is a conspiracy behind it. It could be a student, an acquaintance, a language exchange partner, or a woman you are dating.

What is wrong with giving honest answers to honest questions? If someone asks me a question related to conspiracies, there's nothing wrong with mentioning it. It's not like conspiracies are all I talk about. So don't get the false impression.

Are you guys deaf? Or are you going to assume that all I talk about are conspiracies? In reality they are part of a myriad of things that I talk about. So stop misportraying me please. And stop assuming falsely that me mentioning anything conspiracy related is turning off women. It isn't. So stop the fiction please.

Obviously if someone isn't interested in conspiracies, I don't talk about them.

It's funny how you guys believe something false and keep repeating it over and over again. You guys are like a bunch of friggin animals.

Again, please PAY ATTENTION: I HAVE NEVER EVER LOST A GIRL'S INTEREST BY TALKING ABOUT CONSPIRACIES. NEVER! PLEASE STOP SPREADING THE FALSE RUMOR THAT I HAVE. BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, I HAVE NOT! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR STUPID HEADS!

Winston is in a bad country for getting laid. Chinese women tend to be a lot more conservative and protected by their families and they tend to seek for marriage. There are low numbers of single moms - China is not nearly such a promiscuous society like the Philippines is. There are ample p4p options in China - this is what Winston should do to get his dick wet and his brain straight before going wife-hunting. (If he wants a wife - otherwise, go back to Philippines.) The guys who do get laid in China have to go to nightclubs and bars. That will get you sluts if you put in the effort, but this is definitely the minority of girls. Then of course you have westernized bitches in the major cities. When mongers get laid in China they are almost universally getting either club girls or big city girls (think of scowling American career bitches.)

I've noticed that too. Every single mom I met in China are divorcees who had their child during wedlock. I have not met a single mom who has never been married in China.

So I don't know where this idea that Chinese women have sex fast if they like you, comes from. It's just an assumption. However, Rock and Ethan get Chinese women to sleep with them outside of marriage. So I don't know why I'm held to a different standard.

Besides, having to get married before you have sex is a bad deal for the man. He has to pay for an expensive wedding costing thousands of dollars, then buy a house for her, then pay a dowry to the bride's family. All of this could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Then after marriage, his wife could say she has a headache and delay sex. Or she could just have sex a few times, get pregnant, then focus on the baby and forget her husband's sexual needs.

It's much better to just have casual sex or do p4p. Far less costly and less complicated than the above. However, the problem with P4P in China is that it feels like a hustle with bad vibes. Ethan and I ran into people offering P4P and that "hustling vibe" feels very negative, pushy and a turn off to the senses. We experienced this in massage parlors too that offer blow jobs or hand jobs. The vibe is too pushy and aggressive and turns you off.

I guess there's no perfect solution in China.

Yea some of the guys on here talk out of their asses when they speculate about you. They're really missing the plot. Ignoramuses lol.

I think the reason you don't see many Chinese single mom's who had their kids out of wedlock is that if an unmarried Chinese girl gets knocked-up, there's a very high probability that she will pursue a quick and quiet abortion. That sort of thing can be a major loss of face for the gal and her family so she has strong incentive to 'take care of it'. This is in sharp contrast Filipinas who unintentionally get pregnant. They are taught from a very early age that abortion in any circumstance is very wrong, the same as killing someone. That view is of course strongly reinforced by the broader Catholic/Protestant Filipino society.

I've read reports from as long as 20+ years ago on China. I'm sorry to say that it used to be a P4P paradise where you could get abundant and cheap action w/naive late teens country girls which often included a genuine GF experience. If you go back far enough, even Taiwan used to be great for that. The other day, I was watching some 60s/early 70s vids about R&R trips of US servicemen visiting Taiwan for fun. Wow, Chungshan N. Rd. in Taipei was full of bars and friendly young Taiwan women catering to western males getting the war out of their system. I think even 5-10 years ago, you would have had much more interesting options in China for that type of stuff.

I know you had a bad false start in Guangzhou. But you still should try getting way outta Shenzhen and perhaps checking out some 3rd tier Chinese cities. I know there are much fewer attractive young women in the boonies. But at least you would be more exotic and perhaps of higher perceived value in such places so that the few gems around might be more inclined to feel something for you. You never know till you try and I must stress 3rd tier cities may vary from one another like night and day depending on what province you are in and a myriad of other factors.

If a mainland girl is genuinely attracted to you, if you somehow can draw her in with your charisma, there is a very good chance that she will give you genuine affection and if possible (if she's free enough) even intimacy. Remember, Ling Ling gave you no strings attached physical access and she after all is a mainland Chinese woman. So you need to find more Ling Lings as you troll around China and hope that some of them are more in line with your personal taste in physical specs. Truth is, Ling Ling is not bad at all. She's sweet, genuine, fun loving, easygoing, and some would say she's attractive or sexy. Heck, I remember Falcon was impressed by the photos you posted of her.

[Winston]

I'd like to hear Winston say for once, "hey you guys have valid points", "i'll try some of this".

Are you deaf? I said that many times. Remember I told Ethan that smallcheese and Cereal2010 had a valid point that I should not limit myself to Shenzhen and should see more of China? I said that was a valid point.

You assume false things. A few days I went to Guangzhou but 100 things went wrong remember? I wrote a trip report about it. Murphy's Law ganged up on me real bad. I had no choice but to return to Shenzhen. It wasn't meant to be.

But I do not have to agree with everyone. There is good advice and bad advice and I have a right to call it as I see it. Why should I lie and pretend that bad advice and false advice are good or true? That would be dishonest. I do not argue with everything or everyone, only with bad advice.

God damn it man its not wheter or not its taboo but whether it will get you laid.
they may pay attention and see you as an intellectual but it might turn off their other circuitry.
Its not about pua either but there is stuff you van shoot yourself.in the foot.
i dont want to think pete is right and see you arr really uncoachable and unwilling to try different stuff

Ever heard the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Guess who the old dog is here.

Or as Einstein supposed said: "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

You know, like the programmer who keeps hitting the enter key over and over again because he's absolutely positive that the code he wrote is flawless in its logic. "Damnit, there must be something wrong with the computer."

I have not refused to listen to you or did anything wrong. You have not pointed out anything wrong that I did, other than sticking only to Shenzhen, which I agreed with, but destiny threw me back to Shenzhen after I left it. Did you read the update on that?

You have not given me any formula for scoring with Chinese women that worked. So why are you acting like I refused to listen to your advice? I have not. It just hasn't worked. Stop trying to blame the victim here. I haven't done anything wrong such as shoot myself in the foot. I'm not that stupid.

Btw, you can ask Ethan about my weight. I stood on the scale at the mall and my weight had dropped down to 81 kg from 84 kg before. So I've lost a lot of weight and my pants are dropping down now. So yes I lost weight. It's not true that I haven't improved myself. You are just talking out of you ass since women don't put out for me.

Also I look in the mirror and I do see a handsome good looking guy in Winston Wu. That's my HONEST opinion. So I don't see why you and other women don't agree or see the same thing. Honestly, I do see a handsome Winston Wu in the mirror. I'm not going to lie about that.

Also, one of you, either you or Cereal2010, said that I was "too rigid". WTF does that mean? Women usually say the OPPOSITE. Chinese are rigid and if you are too open minded and easygoing, they will say that you look indecisive and like a wanderer, and therefore immature. Chinese people often call me immature because I'm not rigid like they are. A man is supposed to be narrow and rigid and knows exactly what he wants. That's what MarcosZeitola observed, that Chinese are rigid and that I am not. Thus I am incompatible with Chinese mentality and character. That was an accurate statement. So I don't know why you or Cereal2010 said I was too rigid, when the truth is the exact OPPOSITE. Weird.

[Winston]

Winston should be more romantic, take them out to proper restaurants, have dinner and bottle of nice french wine to get them loosen up a bit, you cant take them to starbucks and share shitty american style coffe and expect them to drop panties for you.

Everytime im in asia I take my girls to a italian restaurant, pizzas never exceed $10 and atmosphere is perfect for a first date. They always have good selection of wines on the menu, order cheapest one, they are all good and after 2 glasses you will feel her juices flowing and eyes shining like a cat, just move in and close the deal. You cant be stingy.

I already told you, I take all the women I like to nice fancy places with good ambience. But when I try to order wine or alcohol, they refuse and say they don't drink and want to remain clean around me. How many times do I have to say that? If it was that easy to get women horny and make them put out, I'd do it.

Unfortunately for you, women are not physically attracted to you like your friend ethan_sg. If the two of you are together, I think with ethan_sg, it might be "lust at first sight" whereas with you Winston, it's more like "lost at first sight". First impressions can make or break sexual attractiveness. Do you remember Abbott and Costello? If a woman saw the two of you together, would women assume that you're Costello while ethan_sg is more like Abbott? Yes I know, most people don't know who Abbott and Costello are. I'm just using them as a physical comparison

The reality is that you're 40+, out of shape and you don't make women salivate or lust after you. Many people have given you great suggestions on how to improve yourself so that you can become more attractive physically to women. But I don't know that you're willing to put in the work necessary to upgrade yourself.

In the meantime, there are still things that you can change that might help. If women see you as a sugar daddy, then leverage that and project an image of money and power. Lots of men in China get beautiful women simply because they have money or powerful government/business connections. Change how you dress, wear more stylish and expensive clothes/shoes. If you're hanging around with ethan_sg or someone else who might look better physically than yourself, tell women that he works for you and is your personal assistant (make sure that's ok with your friends first and that they're willing to play along).

Don't be a cheapskate when it comes to spending. On the first few dates, spend more money and eat at upscale restaurants where a more formal dress code is fitting and expected. You need to be constantly reinforcing this image that you have money and power. And a woman would be lucky to be with you! Again, I don't know that you can do this because it goes against your parsimonious nature.

For God's sake, don't talk about your conspiracy theories!!! Not many women are interested in that and talking about it makes you sound like a nut case. Talk about her and things she's interested in. Talk about your travels around the world and make her mentally project herself with you on these journeys. Women in China want a man who is financially secure, stable and has a long term vision for himself and his family. If a woman doesn't lust for you physically, then she won't have sex with you unless you make it clear that it's a necessary step towards sealing the deal with you as part of a long-term commitment. If a women gives you excuses about not having sex with you after you've made many investments in time and money with her, then dump her!!! And tell her why you're dumping her. You need to be the alpha here and make it clear who's the boss.

It sounds like you're still in Shenzhen and it's not a terrible place to be if you think of it as a base of operations for China. I agree with others who have recommended that you explore other parts of China. Flights to other parts of China are much cheaper from Shenzhen. People from Hong Kong cross over the border just so that they can take a cheaper flight out of Shenzhen to other parts of China like Beijing, Shanghai, Hainan, etc. For now, use Shenzhen as a base until you find a city in China that you're comfortable in. Take 1-2 week trips to other cities so that you can get a feel for the environment and women there. Once you find a place that you like, stay there for an extended period of time so that you can seriously work on your goal of finding a wife.

But if you're planning to be in China for an extended period of time, then maybe you should rent an apartment instead of living out of hotels. Living out of hotels makes you seem transitory, unstable and not interested in being in China long-term. Renting an apartment is a commitment that women will appreciate and they will believe you more if you say that you're seriously looking for a wife.

If you want sex like in a normal relationship, then you need to accept the reality of who you are now. But you need to show women that you have qualities other than physically attractiveness that a woman would want and lust for. You need to be constantly projecting that image of money and power, which requires time and money on your part. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with you after you make an investment in her, dump her quickly and let her know exactly why. Make it clear that there are plenty of other fish in the ocean and you don't have time to waste on women like her. If you physically need sex, then P4P is your best bet while you search for a woman who will give you sex as part of the normal courtship process.

Stop blaming God or Murphy's Law or whatever, if things go wrong. Shit happens in life! Deal with it like a real man! Instead of whining and complaining about every little thing that goes wrong in your life, change your attitude and just take things in stride with confidence. Make it clear that even when things go bad for you, it's not a big deal because you're mature and smart enough to deal with it. Women like that quality in a man and they want to be with a man who can make them feel safe and secure and can calmly deal with the problems that always come up in life.

Yeah a Chinese woman I'm seeing told me that I should rent an apartment here to show here that I'm stable here and not a tourist. She said she'd feel more comfortable about sleeping with me if I did that. But sometimes she hints that she prefers to have sex within a marriage too.

But why did you say that I should project money and power? Come on man. Get real. I can only do that for so long. Sure I can take her to nice upscale places, and I do that of course if I really like someone. But once she knows where I"m staying, she can figure out my budget level. And no, I do not stay in $100 a night hotels. Neither does Rock or Ethan, they also stay in budget hotels. Yet they get laid.

So I see no reason why I have to be held to a higher standard. I look in the mirror and I do see an attractive handsome guy. Honestly. So I don't see why I would need to stay in $100 hotels, while Rock and Ethan stay in $20 hotels and still get laid, no problem. Don't put ridiculous standards onto me. That's lame.

The problem with renting an apartment is that it TIES me down in Shenzhen and restricts my movement. It's like in chess if you trap your own pieces and restrict their own mobility with no tactical advantage, then it's considered a stupid move. I have no reason to tie myself down in Shenzhen yet. So why do it? It's like getting trapped in mud with no advantage.

Me and the woman that wants me to rent an apartment are at an impasse. She won't sleep with me until I rent an apartment, and I won't rent an apartment until she sleeps with me and proves herself. So we are at an impasse or Catch 22.

Smallcheese, I asked you many questions earlier in this thread that you never addressed.

Btw, what if a Chinese woman keeps telling me that she won't sleep with me because you aren't supposed to have sex until you're married? How do I respond to that? I shouldn't have to only have sex within marriage. Other men just have to pay for dinner and they get sex. I shouldn't have to pay for an expensive wedding to have sex. No way. That's not acceptable.

[Banano]

"I look in the mirror and I do see an attractive handsome guy. Honestly."

Winston Wu, April 2015
Founder of Happier Abroad

[Rock]

Don't try to play money game in China. You just can't compete with the big dogs. The Chinese guys who throw around money make a big show of it and plunk down serious cash. It's not like the Philippines where you are perceived as wealthy just being a NE Asian or white guy even if you stay at Sogo and go to Jolibees lol.

But...I think there is something in your spending behavior which might put off certain girls. In the early dating phase, you might not wanna do anything that suggests being overly frugal cus it can be perceived as being stingy. If you spend to much time deciding on little things like which dish to eat or comparing prices of things to save a 10 or 20 RMB, the girls might think to themselves, wow, even I don't have to worry about that kind of small money so what's his problem. It's good to be decisive and if you hesitate and think too much when you order food or buy things at a shop, it can be irritating. I remember the Taichung girl I introduced you too but ended up ditching you told me that she felt you were very xiao qi (stingy) and too hesitant. She told me she would feel a lot more comfortable around a guy who is "at-sa-li" (a Japanese borrow word used in Taiwan which roughly translates to straightforward and easy to deal with). On the other hand, you tend to "zuan niu jiao jian" which means to waste time on an insoluble or insignificant problems. If you hesitate, move slowly, scratch your head, and argue over small issues in restaurants, or spend lots of time comparing to save a bit of money, that can really give a bad impression. When a Chinese guy gives a gift to a girl, I think he generally just gives it. He doesn't offer it as some kind of bargaining tool to get what he wants from her. Being a bit generous in the very beginning is a show of good faith. Once you guys start dating more regularly, you can explain your philosophy about saving money and being frugal. But it doesn't hurt on the first date or two to just move fast, lead, and not worry too much about how much things cost as long as you're not going to uber expensive places.

Perhaps you are not acting in the way I describe above. I just suspect that you might be cus I've seen you get in that mode before. So consider it. Also, if you're gonna spend more time in Shenzhen, perhaps you can make some more open minded male Chinese friends around your age who can act as a cultural translator to you and perhaps provide more accurate and useful information and advice.

[Winston]

But Rock, that example doesn't apply. I took that girl to a mall in Taichung called Chung Yo. All the jacket choices there sucked and I didn't like the styles. So I didn't buy anything, otherwise I'd just return it or regret it later. So I was unlucky to be in a mall with shitty choices. Somehow she used that against me, even though frugality wasn't the issue there. Another thing she held against me was when I was about to buy a $100 electronic dictionary, and I changed my mind later because my gut feeling told me it would be a waste of money. I decided it was better not to buy it than to buy it and regret it later. I don't know why she held that against me. It didn't make sense.

Around China women I take them to nice fancy restaurants with nice ambience and I gladly pay for dinner. How do I need to be more generous than that? Rock, you pay for dinner on dates too. Same as me. So how are you more generous than me? You don't buy expensive gifts on the first date either. So how are you any more generous than me? I pay for all the stuff I'm supposed to pay for, so how am I lacking generosity? I don't get it.

Ethan told me that a decent Chinese woman will help pay for stuff such as transportation, and help share the cost of entertainment. They won't usually let you pay 100 percent for everything like Filipinas do. A man shouldn't pay for 100 percent of everything.

[Ghost]

.

[smallcheese]

You have not given me any formula for scoring with Chinese women that worked. So why are you acting like I refused to listen to your advice? I have not. It just hasn't worked. Stop trying to blame the victim here. I haven't done anything wrong such as shoot myself in the foot. I'm not that stupid.

There is no magic formula for scoring with Chinese women. All I offered you were suggestions on things you could try to do. But I'm not on a date with you so I have no idea what you're doing that makes women decide that they don't want to have casual sex with you. But you must be doing something that is turning women off.

Btw, you can ask Ethan about my weight. I stood on the scale at the mall and my weight had dropped down to 81 kg from 84 kg before. So I've lost a lot of weight and my pants are dropping down now. So yes I lost weight. It's not true that I haven't improved myself. You are just talking out of you a** since women don't put out for me.

Also I look in the mirror and I do see a handsome good looking guy in Winston Wu. That's my HONEST opinion. So I don't see why you and other women don't agree or see the same thing. Honestly, I do see a handsome Winston Wu in the mirror. I'm not going to lie about that.

If you are handsome and good looking, then what's the problem? You should be scoring at will, like ethan_sg. Logic says that if you and ethan_sg were both considered handsome and good looking but women choose to have casual sex with ethan_sg, then it must be something other than looks that make women reject you for sex and not your friend.

I and others on this thread have offered you suggestions on things you could do to improve your chances. Maybe change how you look in clothes? No, you don't believe it's a problem. Maybe you come across as cheap and frugal? No, you argue that you're not cheap and stingy, just wise with money. Maybe change your conversation topics, e.g. avoid talking about conspiracy theories? No, that's not a problem based on your arguments. You talk about lots of other things too.

If it's not any of the above, then is it possible that you are deluding yourself when you state that you are handsome and good looking? Maybe if you post pictures of yourself as you look now, that might help. You don't seem to be shy about posting pictures of yourself so why not? Let's see what the women in China are seeing.

Would your friends Rock and ethan_sg be willing to post pictures of themselves so that we can compare them to you? If not, maybe they can chime in here since they know you personally and can vouch for your personal assessment that you're handsome and good looking. I don't know if you are or aren't handsome, but if you're inflating your view of yourself and being biased, then maybe that's the problem.

If women don't see you as handsome and good looking, they will assess you on other characteristics, e.g. personality, appearance, frugality with money, stability, etc. And after spending time with you assessing the whole package, they reject you because they don't see you as future husband material. So why have casual sex with someone that you don't see a long-term future with, especially if he's not good looking and physically attractive?

Most women have sexual needs too and they will have casual sex and flings with guys they consider to be handsome and good looking. That's you, isn't it?

Also, one of you, either you or Cereal2010, said that I was "too rigid". WTF does that mean? Women usually say the OPPOSITE. Chinese are rigid and if you are too open minded and easygoing, they will say that you look indecisive and like a wanderer, and therefore immature. Chinese people often call me immature because I'm not rigid like they are. A man is supposed to be narrow and rigid and knows exactly what he wants. That's what MarcosZeitola observed, that Chinese are rigid and that I am not. Thus I am incompatible with Chinese mentality and character. That was an accurate statement. So I don't know why you or Cereal2010 said I was too rigid, when the truth is the exact OPPOSITE. Weird.

I never said you were "too rigid".