The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

[newlifeinphilippines]

Would most guys really go to the philippines if they knew they had to spend months and years digging through crap and daygame to find a good quality women? I think a lot would think twice or prolong it until they had the money and time that they had nothing else to lose at that time. Thats what im doing now that reality has hit me im in no hurry to go back to asia. I dont want to waste my precious dollars on a pipe dream.

Thank you for stating what should have been obvious to everyone here.

thats why im staying in america right now and cautiously saving my money. Kind of bored and lonely but i know if i was to go bac to asia id lose my precious money and go back alone as a failure with a girl i dont like. I need to save my cash and mentaly and prepare for a day when im financially ready to settle down. When i can spend months and close the deal so to speak. Im not quite there yet. I dont think going to the 3rd world is ideal unless you are financially set cause those women aren't gonna help you out financially and your putting a big risk on yourself because they could divorce yo when you bring them back. Also you wont be around your family if you live overseas. Im debating if i ever even want to settle down cause i dont want to liver overseas, i dont want kids, i love to travel (id have to give that up if i married) and if i brought them to america its a huge hassle in paperwork and money and i risk a divorce if i bring them back. I see plenty of cons but not really many positives. If my parents were dead it would be easier to settle there someday but for now i have mixed feelings. Im enjoying the fact right now i can save my money and i have no drama. Im not in a hurry to rush back to asia only to have more failures and a lighter wallet LOL

Wow, your situation sounds eerily similar to mine.

I've had many of the same thoughts you have. I'm also bored and lonely. I'm aggressively saving my cash with the goal of retiring early. 50-52 y/o is the target. By then, I will have enough $$ to live off the interest from my investment portfolio.
I also love to travel, not just to get p***y, but for its own sake (I've been to 20 countries so far).
When I retire, I would also like to spend months at a time in foreign countries, with no time limit or job to return to. But, like you, I don't really want to live in the 3rd world, either, even if I am financially set.
I also have parents, and if they weren't in the picture, I might consider becoming a nomad. But I can't leave them alone. They're getting old, and I don't have the heart to place them in a nursing home when the time comes. I will do my duty as a son and make sure I'm around to take care of them.
I'm also childless. Never wanted children. Never cared for the responsibility. In fact, I knew I didn't want children (or be married) when I was a child myself--only 8 years old.

I don't know what my future holds at this point. My sex life has been a monumental disaster, riddled with countless issues. I wish I had been the proverbial man who had 'loved and lost', rather than not have loved at all. I really missed a big part of life by missing that boat.
My social life doesn't look that much better. Making friends at my age is even harder than meeting women, and it's going to get exponentially worse as I get older. The future looks almost grim. The only bright spot might be that I will have ample financial resources by the time I retire. But, as we all well know, money doesn't buy happiness.

i have a online income so i wont have to completely retire i just need to work up a bit of savings and make sure my online income im now doing is long term sustainable that allows me to travel etc again. Plus im young enough that i really dont need a wife now cause the age gap will be small. but if i were to marry id like my parents alive but its such a huge hassle and i really dont have the resources to go find a wife.

[droid]

To equate my inability to 'game' cranky, standoffish women with a horse refusing to merely lower his head to drink water is about as far fetched as it gets.

Good point, but i've learned sometimes they appear cranky and standoffish out of being shy themselves or maybe having some problems of their own too. So one can't go 100% on that stuff, they may open up with a little joke or something. I've realized sometimes i forget to smile myself too so it might actually be a 'reflection' if i may.

Once again, bullshit. A better analogy:
You were a horse that was led to water, but refused to lower his f***ing head because he thought the water would magically float up and squirt into his mouth. It didn't, because that's not how the river works. The horse then returned home, thirsty, and told everybody it was a shitty river. He even wrote a book about how the river was shitty, but never mentioned his refusal to lower his head.
The horse is clearly an evolutionary failure and should get a Darwin Award for his stupidity.

Lol

You fool! Talking to a girl isn't bloody "gaming", it's just talking. And girls in the Philippines are easier to approach and talk to then American girls, when you are a middle aged American dude. That's the whole point of what Winston and others have been saying all this time. Nothing more, nothing less. In the end it all boils down to this... you talk to a girl in America, chances are she will reject you. Talk to one in the Philippines, and she is a lot more likely to end up f***ing you. That's all. Nothing more to it.

Again, you're a fool. You don't KNOW if they are or aren't approachable because you did not approach them. You have an issue approaching women? Address that. Get psychological help, waste your money on shrink after shrink... OR you go to a country where women are easier to talk to, and more likely to say yes, and you try talking to them there. The best way to get over this fear, is to do it! You are afraid a girl might say no? Maybe it is your fear of rejection and emberassment that causes you not to approach any. But c'mon, man! You are forty five years old for God's sake! You can figure these things out, it's common knowledge.

Filipinas aren't as approachable as I'm implying... LOL! You never even f***ing approached any, so how would you know? You don't know it, unless you grow a pair of balls and talk to them. This is not my usual way of talking to people, but you really are wearing my patience thin. You are just looking for excuses, and what bothers me most is your choice of title. It should be "The Philippines: Women Are Not As Approachable As Marcos Says, I Know This Because I Approached Zero Women".

Very good posts Marcos, i've found them very inspirational myself.
I'd normally say you're being too harsh with the guy but this tough love might actually help him.
But having said that, honestly, i agree with him to a point, in that you really can notice if they're into you and make eye contact and flirt with you, which is always the best scenario.
We'd all love to be instant slayers everywhere lol but yeah one can't go expecting that all the time. Like I (and you) stated above we must be ready to push forward a little bit. I myself am still working on that.
I like your point that being a bit forward is not "game" but actual normal man stuff. Thankfully there's places we can push and tell them stuff without it being a 'transgression' as Winston puts it. Here in SA you can tell them "mamacita", after knowing them a bit lol.

I think happier abroad is a fairy tale like PUA. The guys who get high quality women will get it anyways without much work and the guys who struggle will always struggle.
women are the same everywhere. I dont care what anyone says. They all are uppity, money grabbing, low libido.
If you're a chump in america, youll be a chump anywhere, the only difference is your wallet will be lighter after a trip abroad. And ive seen no evidence to the contrary. All the success stories are cause they are 100 times richer than their partner in the 3rd world and many had to go through a lot of crap to find such a girl.
The day i see women chasing after men in 3rd world is the day ill believe some women are different.

Again, talking out of your *ss dude.
More accurately, What i picture is a Gauss bell curve where guys at the extremes don't see a change on different locations. In other words, Zach effron looking dudes won't see much change in moving to the filis as they already have plenty of p*ssy. And on the other end of the spectrum monster-looking guys won't benefit much either since they will still get ignored everywhere.
I think it's guys in the middle of the curve who can capitalize the greatest potential. That is, dudes in the 6-7 range [that would be me ]

And also, what's up with everybody (this forum and on the street) bringing up this gold-digger / money stuff? i freaking don't see it. Somebody introduce me to some gold digger please so i can see it with my own eyes; i don't see any women that will treat you better for your money i honestly just haven't. I see women going for exciting "types" or looks/character but that's it.
In my experience women don't change their treatment towards me when I mention my stash or the fact i come from the states and have a decent paying proffesion. Like I've asked before, where are all the green-card hunters? Lol

[newlifeinphilippines]

Good theory droid. Unfortunately im beaten with the ugly stick so that means i have my work cut out for me for the women I TRULY want, not the leftovers or the ones who will go with any guy that is white.

Droid like i told you before your wasting your time in south america go to asia. Why do you keep torturing yourself there.

Droid ill introduce you to my bargirl LOL (joke) and shell treat you better than any guys wife here cause you have a few pesos to give her. Im not joking either. There is plenty of women like that in phils. heck most of the dating site girls and girls in the bar are like that. I dont know about south america where your at but people seem to think its not quite as obvious there, must be slightly different personalities and culture.

[globe-trotter]

But having said that, honestly, i agree with him to a point, in that you really can notice if they're into you and make eye contact and flirt with you, which is always the best scenario.

The whole mating paradigm basically boils down to the fact that women give you sexual signals, and men respond to those signals. A woman will let you know when she is attracted to you. She will give you signs. If those signs are absent, don't approach her, because you weren't invited. Doing so would be akin to crashing a wedding-- you're not supposed to be there, and your presence is unwelcome. 

[MrBlueLight]

Meanwhile, I spent 5 days out of the week getting laid in that same country. Stop making excuses.

[droid]

But having said that, honestly, i agree with him to a point, in that you really can notice if they're into you and make eye contact and flirt with you, which is always the best scenario.

The whole mating paradigm basically boils down to the fact that women give you sexual signals, and men respond to those signals. A woman will let you know when she is attracted to you. She will give you signs. If those signs are absent, don't approach her, because you weren't invited. Doing so would be akin to crashing a wedding-- you're not supposed to be there, and your presence is unwelcome. 

Not necessarily, like i posted in the other thread,
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=26036&p=217764#p217764
in some places they find pretty-boys and rich-boys boring and give more weight to character or other stuff and won't give signals UNTIL you do something first.
I'm seeing it here in southamerica everyday, ordinary-looking chumps with hotties. Locals have explicitly told me chix won't necessarily look at you but if they like your character you'll move forward, and I'm not talking about "game", but some minimal social competence.

But i guess if you really don't have good looks and are also very shy you're pretty much f*ked, as you have NOTHING to offer. I'm kind of average in both terms, but better trying than regretting later
You talk like an expert but don't know crap, what you described is only the American paradigm. And believe me it takes time to understand things are not the same everywhere.

As far as this applying to PH, it's up to the other members to say.
I'm curious, tell me, objectively and honestly, how were the looks of those fili dudes walking with the hotties you saw?

[globe-trotter]

I don't try to rack up notch counts of countries visited any more than I try to rack up notch counts of women I had sex with. When I find someplace, I keep going back and explore deeper and deeper, same thing I do with a good woman. Even a single state of the United States is huge if you go on foot. Imagine walking every single street and looking at every building and eating in every restaraunt of even a tiny state like Rhode Island.

Yes, I agree. But the number of countries I've visited just happens to be the places I wanted to see. I did not set off to these places with the preconceived idea that I wanted 'X' number of countries to brag about. In fact, I still want to see Colombia, Brazil, Argentina, Egypt, Southern Italy (been to Italy several times), and perhaps Dubai. When I'm done, I will have been to 25 countries, but my purpose for going to these places is not so that I can say this.
In the future, I will probably be doing what you do, which is to delve deeply into certain specific places, especially in the U.S.

I also never wanted children or marriage, and I also have great difficulty making friends. I consider internet friends a viable substitute for flesh-and-blood friends. Now I'm having problems meeting women because of where I live and because of my age and nomadism. I've thought about lying about my age on the internet dating sites, because all the women are screening for under age 50 and I'm over that age, but it's so easy to find out a person's real age nowadays with the internet and I simply can't deal with a woman confronting me with a lie like that. It's shameful. I am quite capable of lying for something I believe in--I could lie very well if I were a spy on a secret mission, for example--but lying about my age just to get sex with a stupid woman is just too degrading to contemplate. It is unmanly.

I've given up on dating sites precisely for the reason you mention-- you have to input your age, in which case young women will screen you out. If you lie about your age, you eventually have to come clean, which is really pathetic and embarrassing. I found that it is much easier to attract women in real life (hard as that may be).

Money doesn't buy happiness but it can most definitely buy you escape from unhappiness.

Yes, I've always said that the purpose of money is not so much to buy happiness, but to avoid misery.

[globe-trotter]

While I agree that foreign women are generally better than most American women, going the foreign route is not the panacea some men would have you believe.

I just returned from the Philippines a couple of days ago, and my experiences there were not what I was promised.

First of all, there is a myth that Philippine women like much older men. That is not true at all. Virtually all the young, middle class Philippine women I saw walking around in the malls were coupled up with young Philippine men. What does that tell you?
Secondly, unless you are super-attractive, with a chiseled face and strong jawline, women in the Philippines will avoid eye contact with you. They may not be arrogant and bitchy about it, like American women are. They may not have the stuck up attitude, but make no mistake about it, they will still let you know that they don't find you attractive.

So, in conclusion, if you are old and ugly in America, you will be old and ugly in the Philippines. There is no salvation in escaping to some Third World country on the other side of the world. You cannot buy love, not even in the Philippines. You can only buy sex and pseudo-romance. If that's what you want, fine. But don't delude yourself that you can circumvent nature's paradigm by simply traveling to a non feminist country. You will be very disillusioned. I myself felt very lonely and isolated in the Philippines. It is a terrible country to meet women. You can't even make friends there. I guess MGTOW and ghosting is the only way.

Welcome home!
I think you're right.. if you are old and ugly in America, you will be old and ugly EVERYWHERE!
You know a few days ago I met Philippine women on Kovla dating she invites to come to her....And now, after your post I don't know.. Should I go?

You can certainly hook up with a young woman in the Philippines, just be aware that she might be after your resources, and not you (if you are in fact 'old and ugly' ). Some women don't date men, they date lifestyles.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Globe trotter none of the regular working girls in angeles (not bar girls) were smiley or you think possibly receptive if you had talked to them? I found angeles girls in general the only ones that were very friendly and open to foreigners. Even the maid that cleaned my hotel probably would have had sex with me LOL Im not saying theyd go up and start conversations necessarily but you could tell they were smiley and more open to it if you were to approach and talk to them. But like you i still have confidence issues so its not that easy.

but back to the original premise. If we have to use style and game and long courtship and social finesse to find any woman in philippines (or other countries there) then this troubling. it means the hot women wont be easy to get. yeah maybe a dirty squatter girl might flirt with you. but not the classy women we really want.

ill repeat this again though I did have workers who were very smily and approachable in angeles city. they were not prostitutes and i think some never even had a foreign boyfriend in fact im sure of it. they were very cute in fact better than anything i got in philippines. I know angeles city isn ot a place to fall in love but these girls are more open to westerners and i think probably would be a better place to meet women there if your striking up conversations or flirting with them or even handing out your number. Honestly maybe if i pass through philippines again i may stay in angeles not for prostitutes but cause of the friendly working normal girls. You just better portray yourself as a serious guy and not a monger if you want to get them.

I also remember some really cute girl ni manila airport with braces looking and smiling at me like a God while walking about. she wasn't rich or classy looking but very cute to the point of even being marriage material maybe. Who knows where she was from though. I normally dont get those kind of looks though from really cute girls but im not normally by myself in the philippines either. I do get some attention though wherever i go but not enough where you still dont have to do the legwork and need confidence. maybe if i ever go back to philippines ill stay in angeles city for friendliness and maybe some city other than cebu and manila where its a little less traveled. Everyone keeps saying stay awy from the big metro areas i think they are right. Cebu and manila definitely are too tourist orientated for a guy. Angeles/subic/boracay/dumuaguete also are but i just include angeles cuase the women there are friendly.

[newlifeinphilippines]

marcos so you really think if a random shy guy starts hitting on filipina women he will get lucky and strike it with a nice women of quality who is very attractive or very cute? Even mr bluelight tried to hit up mall girls and found them all too busy. Im talking hot women (or very cute young dark girl) . Cause settling for less seems like a waste of time if one is gonna travel and waste all this time and money to pursue that.

[globe-trotter]

Globe trotter none of the regular working girls in angeles (not bar girls) were smiley or you think possibly receptive if you had talked to them?

Yes, the prostitutes were receptive, but my criticisms are not against these women. They are against regular Philippine women. I don't even have anything against them, only with the men who make false claims about them.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Globe trotter none of the regular working girls in angeles (not bar girls) were smiley or you think possibly receptive if you had talked to them?

Yes, the prostitutes were receptive, but my criticisms are not against these women. They are against regular Philippine women. I don't even have anything against them, only with the men who make false claims about them.

I meant regular women. The hotel workers were smiley and nice. In fact that was the first thing i noticed when i got to angeles. The waitresses were also nice but not overly flirtateous. it would take some work no matter what even in angeles to start talking to them though and who knows if they would shoot me down.

[Mr Natural]

A waitress or store clerk anywhere near Fields ave - if she is attractive you got to figure she has been hit on at least a thousand times already. And why would any "nice girl" there respond to you? I mean, unless she is monumentally stupid, she knows why any westerner goes to Angeles ....

[droid]

she knows why any westerner goes to Angeles ....

lol

[newlifeinphilippines]

if globetrotter didn't get any attention or nice smiles from regular women in angeles its cause he blew through that town so fast and went straight into the bar which doesn't count.

I actually think for globetrotter and guys like me who lack confidence angeles is a good place cause the women are more receptive to foreigners. Its hard for us to initiate conversations and they seen so many foreigners that they might have an easier time talking to you or even starting the flirting. Out of all the places i been to philippines only angeles seemed to have that flirtateous atmosphere of the women and im not even talking about the bar girls. Just ask anyone who has been to the province or mindanao how hard it is to get a girl to open up? provincial cebu girls might be friendly i never walked around their alone but metro cebu and metro manila girls on average are kind of bitchy or in their own world only the ugly ones or pros are super friendly. provincial girls may stare and give you attention but they are so shy and reserved there it will take work. Its either angeles or province, ill pick angeles. Church is also a good place if your shy but youd have to almost live there for that to work cause the church girls are shy and suspect. The hot ones in church are not in an abudance and they will tend to keep their distance or be hard to get to like any girl in america. It will be hard to hit on a girl in church too.

The biggest problem i see with going with girls with angeles is once they fall in love or go with a foreigner like you whos to say they might not start playing the foreigner cock carousel. it could. Even a nice girl can fall into temptation once she has had a taste of it. many of these girls wont go into a bar cause its too extreme but all it takes is one foreigner boyfriend to get them to become a slut sometimes.

lots of girls selling their bodies so many guys dont even bother hitting up locals or at least go out of their way to try real hard. I seen plenty of nice girls in pampanga. In cebu most of the girls are distant and have attitude. I know americaninbangkok says never to fall in love in pattaya so that would include angeles under his standards but im not talking bar girls or massage girls im talking normal cute naive waitresses or hotel workers trying to make a living.