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Hey guys, been a long time lurker of this forum and have posted in the past but feel I should properly tell my story.
I was born March 23, 1988. As with many of other forum members I bet, my parents got divorced. I was to find out later in life that it was not for whatever reason my mother told me. It turns out my mother had decided that she wanted to leave my day for my now step-father. I found out also, that my mother had lied about another thing. She had told me that my father had tried to take me away from her, which turned out to be false. The problem was my step-father didn't want to have to deal with kids so my mother signed her custody rights over to my father. Soon afterwards, she changed her mind and wanted us back. She fooled my father into thinking there was a likely hood of them getting back together, so he signed the custody rights back to her. She soon left for good, and my father was angry at her for many years to the point of not even wanting to talk to us. As a side note, I found out another stupid decision my mother had made. She had inherited some land in Louisiana and instead of keeping it, sold it for 8k (which that same land now would be worth about 1mil+). Unfortunately I was not to find out the truth about all of this until much later in life.
I was more outgoing when I was younger but that changed when I got to junior high school. I'm mixed (mostly black, but with a significant amount of native American in me). Apparently, my very intelligent way of speaking for some reason was a cause for ridicule. The funny thing is, it wasn't white people who did such things, it was black people. The foreign and white people at my school had no problems with the way I spoke. But the Americanized black and Latino people had no problem whatsoever. This caused me to become more introverted which I guess looking back on it was good for me because I became more reflective on life. Before I knew it I was hanging out with mostly foreign born people who went to my Private christian Junior high and high school. I'm still friends with many of them. There is one exception to that though. One of the people I still talk to but I consider him more of a acquaintance now. I had stopped talking to him several times in the past because i started to notice, he started getting that American lack of manners and rudeness in the past. Hes a ethnic Chinese originally from Indonesia, who then moved to Singapore for his studies then to the U.S. for high school and up. He originally wanted to go back to Singapore for university but I guess it kind of fell through. So, he had to stay in liberal San Francisco for his university which changed him a lot. He no longer as free thinking as he used to be, its like hes been brainwashed. I'm a political Atheist one could say. Both parties for the most part are corrupt, except I do trust Ron Paul because he has been very consistent on his views. My Friend has been brainwashed into the whole, "well most politicians are corrupt but Republicans more corrupt than democrats". Really? So, you play the whole "well my side is corrupt but the other side is more corrupt game". I guess you can save everyone can you >.>
I can remember now when I started to think mostly for myself. I read, "Whats so great about Christianity" by Dinesh' D'souza. Even though I don't like his debating style at times and I think he falls too much into the "republican vs democrat" debate, that book opened my eyes. I realized that there were a lot of things taught to me whether through teachers, parents, or the media that were just plain wrong. Because of this, I read and educated myself. I changed my views on politics, economics, the family structure, divorce, religion, and polygamy.I spent some time in community college, with the idea of getting a degree and then teaching English as a 2nd language for a few years. Unfortunately, 2008 happened and I had to readjust my plans. My mother was in the real estate business so, that avenue for income went down the drain and I couldn't find a job no matter how much I applied. Not to mention I was convinced that the U.S. was going to experience Hyperinflation within the next couple of years, which gave me even more reason to leave the country. So, I did something drastic. I joined the Navy with the plan of finishing my Bachelors and masters while I was still in my contract then as soon as I was done, I would leave this sinking ship. I would also do some investing while I was in with stock options and be very good at it.
Anyway, I went through boot camp and Navy A-school hoping to get orders to a place like japan or Europe but we only had order available for Norfolk, VA and Honolulu, HI. Obviously, I choose Hawaii but honestly it didn't matter. In the end it was still in the U.S. which sucked, even though it wasn't like that at first. It was while I was stationed in Hawaii that I found out the truth about my parents divorce which made me want to talk to her even less. At that point, and still to this day, I'm only close with my biological father. My other immediate family members are too poisons, to put it, to be around. My step-father has no backbone and lets my mother dominate him. My brother has aids and is living on borrowed time. My sister has 3 kids by 3 different fathers. My mother is a domineering feminist and "working woman" (read not able to attend any of her son's graduations). Way i saw it, my father was the only sane person.
Before I got out to Hawaii I did spend some time in Ukraine to meet some women but it didn't go all that well. I also tried to talk to some women from the Philippines but that lead to a dead end. So, I just concentrated on getting educated and working so I could get ready to leave the U.S. after I got out of the navy. I did get distracted somewhat. I met a woman who I considered a friend soon after we got to know each other. She was a American born half Caucasian/half Mexican. Either way things for ok for a while. We made rank at the same time so moved off base with 2 other people. We worked at the same system and technically she was over me because she was more qualified on the system. The problems came after one of the guys who worked on the same system left. She constantly yelled at him, because he would always forget or mess up on the system. I soon found out after he left that it wasn't just about how big the mess up was or if it was a misunderstanding. Soon, i was the one being yelled at even when it was something that wasn't my fault. It was like she needed to yelled at and domineer someone. Her views were somehow that this was "good leadership". That you need to make the subordinate realize their position. I couldn't disagree more. You shouldn't be too soft and weak but you shouldn't be in your face all the time and aggressive either. You need to be firm but understanding about those people under your authority. Combine all of this along with the fact that she doesn't want input from others how she does things including from other high ranking enlisted people, it was turning into hell on earth. Now at that time I wished she hadn't made the advancement exam to third class petty officer (she had missed it 2 times before hand). It was obvious that due to her previous trust, male, and bitch issues she should never have power over others.
Soon, I stopped talking to her at work or home unless it was work related. But combine this along with other stresses at work, one night I finally came close to snapping. I had contemplated suicide one night, lucky though I had called someone and they talked me down. As standard procedure, I talked to my higher ups and they tried to take me out of any stressful environment at work. There were 2 things that happened during this time that changed me. The first was when I was staying with a friend since I was not to be left alone by myself. I went back home real quick to get something and while I was retrieving it, that same woman talk to me. I had thought that since she had obviously found out what happened, she was going to apologize or see if I was ok but far from it. She just wanted to know if I was going to permanent move out or it was temporary. If permanent, who was going to pay my part of the rent. I was shocked. Here, i had almost committed suicide in no small part to this woman and all she cares about is the rent being paid! The 2nd thing was I talked to the Command Master Chief who i deeply respect. He really challenged me into what I wanted to do for a long term plan. During my time of distraction i had been thinking about staying in as a commissioned officer but I soon refocused myself after this talk. It really hit me after I thought about what CMC(command master Chief) had talked to me about. Why would I want to stay in a country where decent people change for the worst? Why would I want to stay in a place where people who have kindness in their heart are considered weak and should be used for personal gain while to be strong is to be a A-hole and the exploiter? Why would I want to continue being in a place where a woman can do all that I described and have no guilt whatsoever? Why would I want to be in a land where Men bend over backwards and give support to such a woman just because they want the chance of getting some?
Thankfully, I am now back on track thanks to CMC. I'm 5 clep exams away from getting a associates in Accounting, and should at least get my bachelors in either Economics or IT before i get out. After that I will still have education money for a Masters degree. Also, with my pay now I should be able, if I want to , buy a good condo in either Thailand or the Philippines (I haven't decided which one yet). Also, my investing is doing good. I had turned $2800 into 21k in one trade when trading in stock options. Had I been more prudent about my rules of trading, I would be sitting at about 8.8mil right now but I know I can get up there since it was possible before. Also, My father had called me and told me that he had went to court to get the inheritance money that I'm owed (still in the legal stages on that), and even though its not as much as I initially thought (200k-400k), its still a good amount in Thailand or the Philippines. Things are looking up and who knows, if I do good in my investments like I know i will I could potentially by out my contract so I don't have to wait for it to end and get out the states a lot sooner.
Either way, that is my story up til now. I will keep you guys posted on anything noteworthy.
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Great intro, very open about the hurts, yet full of hope.
Sorry to hear about your brother. I lost my brother a few years ago, kid brother. The pain of missing him is still fresh, I feel his absence like I felt the sudden absence when a dentist wrestled out a badly impacted wisdom tooth.
Re your family, sounds like a mess, your dad sounds like a real man though. And you sound like you are on your way.
Welcome to HA.