Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.

View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Mobile Friendly Theme

I've Seen The Light, But The Light Is Looking Dull

Introduce yourself here and let us know who you are.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

Forum rules
Welcome. If you are new here, please read the Forum Rules.
Post Reply
Freshman Poster
Posts: 4
Joined: September 11th, 2016, 5:40 pm

I've Seen The Light, But The Light Is Looking Dull

Post by Novel » September 13th, 2016, 5:18 am

What’s up all. How’s it going! I’ve been following this site for some time...sort of stopping by here and there. I’ve been enjoying much of the info that many have share on the site and forums. Great discussions and stories. Great questions. Great insight and answers. So much so that I decided to take the step and join up. Actually, I joined for another reason as well.

Ok I’m a typical American male. Black American to be exact. Nothing over-the-top about me. I live, work and enjoy hobbies, friends and family. I don’t judge others. I have no time for that. I give everyone respect and I demand respect in return. I’m in my early 30s and like many other guys, I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends. I’ve been in 2 very very serious relationships, with my last relationship involving many marriage talks. I guess I deem them “very very” serious due to the fact that those relationships lasted for more than 3 yrs a piece. I’m not scared of a real relationship. I don’t play games and don’t want women playing games with me.

All my life (literally and figuratively), I’ve found Asian women to be the most attractive. Not just any Asian women. I mean those from abroad/or those who don’t have that “American female mindset” in them. In fact, I’ve always been really interested Chinese, and Japanese cultures primarily (though Korean food is mad delicious haha). My appreciation for women of these cultures have always been a part of me. This isn’t some sort of “fever”. It’s simply the type of culture in a woman I prefer. The feminine nature. The values. Family oriented. Loyal. Genuine. Balanced temperament. Health conscious/well-being (I don’t mean a health-nut or gym rat). Many great qualities/pillars in a woman for a sustainable long lasting enjoyable relationship. All that said, I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman from those cultures.

So some will read this and say, wait you’ve been in some very serious relationships knowing that you prefer a different culture of woman?! Yes. But I viewed it as, I’m here (America) and this is where I live and have been living for all of my life. And if by chance I can find a good woman here, I’m not going to be a fool and shun a potentially good woman no matter what culture or race!

Crazy thing for me is, I never actually got serious about looking abroad or going abroad to see what’s out there. To experience what other cultures have to offer in terms opportunities (living and relationships). Or to “start a new chapter” if you will. I just didn’t think it was something you could really do. Like, not a viable option.

My experience with dating/relationships to no one’s surprise has been terrible. Long story short… most, not all, American (Western) women are horrible. And most of us know why. They’ve lost their femininity. They’re attracted to the “bad boy” image. Selfish on many levels. Play games and much much more… Basically, you have to get really REALLY lucky in order to obtain a truly genuinely good woman here. It’s been this way for a long while now. And it’s showing no signs of slowing down. The result is moving towards, American women are falling out of favor more and more when it comes to strong enjoyable relationships.

American/Western women can hate on that fact all they want. They can come up with irrational excuses, or what I call, irrational defense mechanisms. The fact remains, they have such horrible behaviors and mindsets. And I’m tired. Tired of dealing with it. Tired of conforming to it/them. Tired of feeling so dang hopeless and unhappy. And this site helped me realize I indeed have options. I don’t need to play by the current “America” relationship rules and conform.

So the issue I’ve been facing currently is finding that type of woman I desire. I’m a simple dude. And I’m rational. I don’t need some smokin’ hot beauty. And being a Black man, I know I’m already at a disadvantage within the dating/relationship scene in countries like China and Japan. But, I’m not going to let that deter me from finding that woman. I did my research on Korean, Japanese and Chinese women, and I’m committed. I know Chinese women mean business when it comes to a relationship. And like I said, I’m committed. I’ve tried a Japanese and Korean dating site (respectively). With no success at all! No one ever responded my messages. And I’ve tried a few Chinese dating sites. With mixed results but overall, it’s been underwhelming. Someone suggested I try Filipina dating because they are more open. I tried. And I mainly came in contact with scammers. Or them asking me for money after we’ve talked for about 3-4 weeks as they told me sad stories about their lives/living situations.

I will say, I’m most interested in Chinese culture (I'm just beginning to learn Mandarin). But I’m not close minded nor stubborn. Filipino culture intrigues me. I’m also open to traveling abroad to make me dream (s) come true. So as it stands, I’m lost. I didn’t think it’d be this hard/challenging to find a woman abroad… Thank you for taking the time to hear my story/situation.

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Last post

Return to “Introduce Yourself”