Former Thai expat here

[MrMan]

I spent about 12 years living in Indonesia over a 24 year time period. I haven't been back to Indonesia for a few years, though. Before Indonesia, I spent a year in South Korea. During my time living in Indonesia, I took trips to Singapore, Malaysia, and Hong Kong. I have spent a few days in China.

I have been married to an Indonesian woman for over 20 years.

I also speak Indonesian.

I've never been to Indonesia myself but I have spoken with Indonesian women online. They seemed so much more sweet and innocent than Thai girls. Do you think this is accurate or was this just a presumption I made?

I only spent a little time in Thailand, about three days, I think, for work back in the first decade of the 2000's. I might have been to the Bangkok airport once or twice in transit. I don't remember anything 'unsweet' about Thai girls. But, yes, a lot of Indonesian girls can act sweet and innocent.

[mattyman]

Two things

RE OP;

What do you think of the Thai language? Grammatically it looks like a piece of piss compared with Russian & Greek (no inflection; yippee!). There is the tone rules, the high class, low class and middle-class consonants

RE covid & how southeast Asia will never be the same again;

I really don't think Southeast Asia will ever be the same again. Mask wearing and avoiding sick people and sick people isolating themselves has been part of Thai culture since the flus that hit in the 1950s if I remember my pandemic history right. Until covid becomes a virus that doesn't even kill 90 year olds (which may never happen), they'll be doing this. Also the harsh military government there is using covid as an excuse to clamp down on the organic democracy movement in Thailand right now. I don't expect this to end any time soon. I honestly think my days of international living are over. If Thailand ever gets better, I guess I'll go back. Its the only affordable place I can really think of in Asia where I can get all of my medications and speciality care I require. I could probably get by in the Phils but I would never go back there again. I loved Japan, but I would never in a million years be able to afford to live there in my health. Beautiful people, culture, land. You are fortunate my friend.

Covid is being exploited for POWER. It would be interesting to find out who's puppeting the Thai government (as with so many governments). There's clearly the same propaganda campaign as is happening in Europe. Seen some vids of Thai expats; so many symptoms of the same brainwashing. The IMF (international monetary fund), the World Bank (tried to bribe Belarus into a lockdown $940m), The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Who've funding the tv media? I don't want to take the discussion off topic. Feel free to continue this on separate thread.

[MrMan]

I went to Thailand once. One night, I ordered Tom Yum soup. They gave me bright red fiery liquid with crab legs in it. Not taste except hot pepper. I told someone there I was expecting something with a bit of coconut milk and other stuff in it-- what was called Tom Yum soup in Jakarta. They said I wanted some other kind of soup, and said the name.

What soup is it I really wanted. My wife made Tom Yum soup, as she calls it, today. It is just a little hot. It has red pepper, coconut milk, I think, some vegies and shrimp. What is that called in Thai?

[jerryrigged]

Wow Jerry. How did you get women in HK though? They don't look approachable at all and they look kind of cold and it makes you feel like a creep or pervert or terrorist to even try a cold approach. You get the feeling that it's not the norm and you are supposed to mind your own business and keep to yourself, like everyone else is doing. You are only allowed to socialize at a party or get together. But even then, you will only feel comfortable at a party in Asia if you are a conformist.

Also, women don't usually like you unless you fit into their culture to some degree. If you aren't cold and all business and conformist and narrow minded, like they are, it feels awkward to try to connect with the women there. You know what I mean? It's hard to explain. In cultures like HK, Taiwan, and USA, if you are very down to earth, you feel like a freak. It's an upside down Twilight Zone world.

Also, not any man can get a woman in Asia or HK just by being white. There has to be a certain spark. You know what I mean? Kind of like when a casting director selects an actor for his new film or Broadway Play, it's not about looks or talent only, they look for a certain spark that jibes with the play or film, you either have it or you don't. So there's no such thing as a formula for getting women or acting roles. You know what I mean?

Did you play it like a numbers game? If so that's dirty and grinding, because you meet lots of scammers, users, and gold diggers that way, when you meet strangers who are not vetted for.

So Thai women outside of the tourism industry or P4P are open to western men? But in local Thai areas everything felt reserved. The girls looked polite but hesitant to date as if something is holding them back. Like shame or hesitancy or something.

Winston,

Hong Kong women think I am attractive, or at least they did in the 2000s. I'm older now so maybe things have changed a bit? Who knows. I got with Hong Kong women just with friendliness, confidence, and a bit of persistence.. They seem to like that. They may seem cold at first but slowly open up. I noticed that in Thailand it was easy to get phone numbers and dates "on the fly", but in Hong Kong it took some time and patience. More than one conversation with a girl to get a phone number, etc. They say that Japanese women usually give a cold shoulder at first before "coming around". So maybe this is a East Asian cultural thing? HK women also really appreciated my knowledge and understanding of Hong Kong and Chinese culture. It showed them that I wasn't just a hungry tourist but someone who might appreciate them. I do know what you mean by a certain spark. It was there for awhile at the beginning of our relationship but it faded over a few years. Luckily we had no kids. I don't really have the patience for dating Chinese women any more. When I was younger, sure. Not now.

When I travel in Asia I do date a LOT of women. If I were to go back I would be more looking for a longterm GF sort of thing. I am no way getting rushed into marriage again. I doubt I ever will. Its just not for me anymore, at this stage of my life. Dating is fun and I like to keep it that way. You need to remember that by buying a pretty young lady a meal YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING NICE FOR HER... I feel like with dating in America women are viewed as "the prize" and very few people are dating anyways. So the women sort of "run/ruin" the date in my circumstances and it shouldn't be this way. Since you are paying dating should be on your terms and you should enjoy it! If it doesn't work out, fine, at least it was a nice meal and you had some company.

The key to meeting Thai women is really simple. Act like you belong there and you're just being friendly. That will put her off guard since most tourists act aloof and just out hunting for the next drink or girly bar. Don't be like that and they will instantly begin to put you into the "more approachable farang category. Dress nice too. Have you seen the way most westerners dress in Thailand? Basketball shorts and tank tops I mean, its a real joke. Get yourself a lightweight pair of respectable jeans and a button down short sleeve shirt. Add a fresh hair cut to that and don't forget to smile and even if you are a normal looking guy who isn't normally deemed handsome by any regards, and may women will be very receptive to you. The shame you are talking about is that they worry that people will think they met you through the normal tourism routes, and that they may be involved in that. Its about losing face. But if you don't act like a normal SEA tourist, you should get none of that. I dated a factory worker who turned out to be a real psycho.. But I found out way too late. I feel like Thai women are a bit more spastic/psycho than Western women. Theyre definitely more LOUUUUUUUUUD. I chose to ignore the signs that my gf was crazy until I had too much invested... I think you should date Southeast Asian women for a few YEARS before you make anything serious. Also I wouldn't put anything on paper. Thais never do that. Village weddings are the custom and less than 30% of Thai marriages end up at the amphur's office is the number I hear floated all the time by expats. I am not sure if thats still accurate today, but it puts the onus on the woman to be good because she has no legal protection. Legal marriages are all about protecting women and children's interests, but never the man's interests. Lets be honest and thats true for most legal systems.

I think that because of covid my days are done since I won't get the vax. I am working towards saving to move to a very rural and secluded part of the USA. I may be alone for the rest of my life now and thats okay. I've dated more women than most men could ever dream of... Perhaps I'm done. And thats okay.

[jerryrigged]

Welcome! Where are you now?
I am from Central Europe, but living in Japan since 40 years and have a second home in Thailand. Married to a Japanese woman, never divorced.
I also had a Thai retirement visa for one year, 2 times, but now expired. No way to travel this time without spending much money (testing, quarantine etc.) for nothing in return. - Just waiting it out, we can travel here inside Japan without any restriction.

I really don't think Southeast Asia will ever be the same again. Mask wearing and avoiding sick people and sick people isolating themselves has been part of Thai culture since the flus that hit in the 1950s if I remember my pandemic history right. Until covid becomes a virus that doesn't even kill 90 year olds (which may never happen), they'll be doing this. Also the harsh military government there is using covid as an excuse to clamp down on the organic democracy movement in Thailand right now. I don't expect this to end any time soon. I honestly think my days of international living are over. If Thailand ever gets better, I guess I'll go back. Its the only affordable place I can really think of in Asia where I can get all of my medications and speciality care I require. I could probably get by in the Phils but I would never go back there again. I loved Japan, but I would never in a million years be able to afford to live there in my health. Beautiful people, culture, land. You are fortunate my friend.

What medications and specialty care do you require? Why don't you have the medications shipped, yo?

Rheumatology, urology, gastroenterology. That sort of stuff is hard to come by in places like Laos or Cambodia except for the very basics. Theres a lot of good doctors in these fields in Bangkok, however. Covid will be going on for at least the next 10 years. Since I have a real medical reason preventing me form receiving ANY vaccines, I'll be right here in the USA for awhile. I just have to redefine myself and make my life here in America more enjoyable. I just don't see the world opening up to the unvaccinated any time soon.

[jerryrigged]

I went to Thailand once. One night, I ordered Tom Yum soup. They gave me bright red fiery liquid with crab legs in it. Not taste except hot pepper. I told someone there I was expecting something with a bit of coconut milk and other stuff in it-- what was called Tom Yum soup in Jakarta. They said I wanted some other kind of soup, and said the name.

What soup is it I really wanted. My wife made Tom Yum soup, as she calls it, today. It is just a little hot. It has red pepper, coconut milk, I think, some vegies and shrimp. What is that called in Thai?

This sounds to me like "Tom Kha Kung" soup. I mostly ate Chinese and Isan food in Thailand, to be honest with you, which is a bit different. I prefer Isan culture in Thailand to "high Thai" culture in and around Bangkok. Yes there are more scammers in Isan but there is not a more relaxed setting with prettier women in the world than the farms of Isan....

[Tsar]

@jerryrigged I was wondering how easy it would be to get a very beautiful 18 year old Thai girl? Is it true that guys can pay a dowry in Thai towns or villages and get an almost instant bride?

[florida johny]

Thanks

[Yohan]

@jerryrigged I was wondering how easy it would be to get a very beautiful 18 year old Thai girl? Is it true that guys can pay a dowry in Thai towns or villages and get an almost instant bride?

Yes, it is possible but after taking away your money in return of a not valid marriage in a temple she will leave you again.
Inform yourself about so-called horror-stories of Western badly informed gullible men, who lost a lot of money but received nothing in return in Thailand.

[jerryrigged]

@jerryrigged I was wondering how easy it would be to get a very beautiful 18 year old Thai girl? Is it true that guys can pay a dowry in Thai towns or villages and get an almost instant bride?

Yes, it is possible but after taking away your money in return of a not valid marriage in a temple she will leave you again.
Inform yourself about so-called horror-stories of Western badly informed gullible men, who lost a lot of money but received nothing in return in Thailand.

Usually the weddings happen in the home. The monks come over from the temple to give their blessings. You will pay a sinsod. Most expats go to the amphur office to register their marriages before the village wedding. @Tsar You could simply NOT GO TO THE amphur's office. Some country girls don't even ask farang to pay sinsod. You can blatantly tell her that you need the money and sometimes her parents will give it back to you. If you manage all of this, and the marriage "fails", you could just leave the area and go somewhere else in Thailand and try again without even getting a divorce. The whole setup in Thailand can play to the farang's advantage, if he is a smart farang, and knows how to play his cards correctly. Let me know if you ever try to do any of this and I could probably help you out a lot. I think you should find some way to work from home on a laptop first, though. Running out of money in Thailand is brutal and I've seen many farang lose everything there. Don't be one of those guys, brother.

[jerryrigged]

I was a Thai expat for 3 years. Before that I spent a lot of time in Hong Kong. So I guess you can say I am pretty experienced with this sort of thing.

You sound like a fine fellow, Jerry, and it seems like you have lived quite a life rich in experience.Thailand is one of the countries I have never been to besides on transit, although I hear the food is excellent. My experience beyond European countries and Turkey is primarily based in the Philippines.

I was married to two southeast asian women. No kids from any of those, thankfully.

I'm impressed. Never quite figured out the whole "not having kids with a wife" thing.

Call me guilty for "trial marraige" if you will, but I always wanted to be absolutely sure my partner was mentally stable enough to handle being a mother before making that commitment. Its a good thing I did that, because neither of my two wives were.

[Yohan]

@Tsar You could simply NOT GO TO THE amphur's office.

The problem is however without registering your marriage, you will not qualify for a spouse visa - and what kind of other visa can be used to stay in Thailand for a young person....

Running out of money in Thailand is brutal and I've seen many farang lose everything there. Don't be one of those guys, brother.

It's not only about running ot of money, it is also about running out of time. Long ago you could do some visa run over the borders to Malaysia and Cambodia, but now? No way.

Visa overstay is a serious problem in Thailand - nowadays to qualify for a long-term visa is a difficult, often a costly challenge.

If you are legally married to a Thai citizen, it's still not so difficult.
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... en_ENG.pdf

If not:
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... OA_ENG.pdf

In my case, I did it already two times before - not so easy to qualify even for retirement
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... nt_ENG.pdf

Now still tourist visa is the easist way to go, but after a few months you are gone... and everything again from the beginning on...
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... st_ENG.pdf

And don't forget Certificate of Entry, quarantine, covid-testing etc. - this all costs a lot of money...
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/en/topics_detail1/id=999

[Tsar]

Yes, I know all about COVID-19 limiting travel. Asia has become the most expensive region of the world with COVID-19 that it's almost like North Korea in preventing foreigners from visiting. But I imagine the lack of tourism and increased poverty will make it easier for men to get a girl.

[jerryrigged]

@Tsar You could simply NOT GO TO THE amphur's office.

The problem is however without registering your marriage, you will not qualify for a spouse visa - and what kind of other visa can be used to stay in Thailand for a young person....

Running out of money in Thailand is brutal and I've seen many farang lose everything there. Don't be one of those guys, brother.

It's not only about running ot of money, it is also about running out of time. Long ago you could do some visa run over the borders to Malaysia and Cambodia, but now? No way.

Visa overstay is a serious problem in Thailand - nowadays to qualify for a long-term visa is a difficult, often a costly challenge.

If you are legally married to a Thai citizen, it's still not so difficult.
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... en_ENG.pdf

If not:
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... OA_ENG.pdf

In my case, I did it already two times before - not so easy to qualify even for retirement
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... nt_ENG.pdf

Now still tourist visa is the easist way to go, but after a few months you are gone... and everything again from the beginning on...
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/files/user/ ... st_ENG.pdf

And don't forget Certificate of Entry, quarantine, covid-testing etc. - this all costs a lot of money...
http://www.thaiconsulate.jp/en/topics_detail1/id=999

I agree, however he could just buy himself a Thailand elite visa which would cost him far less than the divorce would. Then if the marriage crumbles, he can stay in Thailand. I'm not sure how old @Tsar is, but he could use the 5 year elite visa to bridge the gap to his retirement visa. Most guys I knew bought it once and planned to buy the retirement visa when it runs out. On my street in Udon Thani, out of the 15 or so farang-thai partnerships, only 5 or so went to the amphur. The rest were all on retirement visas. @Tsar if you choose to go to Thailand now, my advice is to stay in the rural provinces. Life is just no fun in really any of the cities in Thailand right now. The restrictions are unbearable. Also, PLEASE watch the videos on THAILAND BOUND, on youtube. Just search that. Those guys do a very good job of showing what a scam looks like in Thailand.

[Yohan]

@jerryrigged

Baht 600.000 for a 5 year visa is a lot of money - (baht 10.000 per month!) and about retirement visa you need now proof of health insurance, but most Thai insurance companies plainly refuse if you are 70+ or will send you a very expensive quotation, and additionally you need still money in the bank (baht 800.000) or prove a regular national pension overseas of at least baht 65.000,- per month.

I can fulfill all these requirements easily (also for elite visa) it's all about money - but it is a waste of my money and I do not agree with that. I will wait it out in my home in Japan and my 2 condo units in Thailand remain closed.

Covid-free certificates cost a lot of money (in Japan about baht 12.000,- or so), and quarantine on arrival will rip you off again of around baht 40.000.

I will likely just apply for tourist visa, 2 months are OK for me, to look after my rooms etc. if possible end of this year, but only if possible without quarantine, I will not stay in a hotel locked in a room with my own rooms nearby.

Anyway, I am not in a hurry.

About vaccination, no problem, I am not anti-vaxx and got already 2 x Pfizer, have a covid-vaccination certificate for overseas travel from the ward-office. No side effects noticed or reported within all my family members and friends except being a bit tired for 2 days and some pain in the left arm.