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Somewhat shy Chinese-Canadian guy

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Junior Poster
Posts: 674
Joined: October 15th, 2013, 4:22 am
Location: Beijing, China

Somewhat shy Chinese-Canadian guy

Post by Bao3niang » January 30th, 2014, 12:55 pm

Hi everyone, I am sure quite a few of you on here are already familiar with me. I am an 18 year-old Chinese-Canadian male that was born in Chongqing, China but grew up in Vancouver and now repatriated spending my time between Beijing and Chongqing (90% of my time is in Beijing).

I don't like Beijing because it is a heavily Westernized city full of workaholics and bitchy women, but at least the overall atmosphere and food is so much better than anywhere in the Anglo world.

As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional and mentally/emotionally abusive family (I was hit when younger), I see myself as a lot more mature than everyone my age. I get along with people in their 20s and up much better than with my peers. My difficult upbringing has also made me see the importance of individuality and independence, to which I have developed my non-conformist and intellectual nature.

However, growing up in such difficult circumstances has also put me at great odds in situations. I have some social anxiety, and often do not know what to say to people. This makes me seem extremely detached and cold to some people, while the truth is I am very talkative and caring once I really bond with someone due to likeness of mind and soul.

One year ago I became a Christian, and since then God has been with me every day. My Christian faith along with my anti-cultural and freethinking nature has brought me much persecution in both East Asia and the West (I know Winston was at this stage when he was the same age as me).

I am extremely resistant to authority and control in my life, hating those people who think everything must be done at a certain time in a certain way. Years of emotional and intellectual punishment from my family and the world has led me to fantasize about doing great harm or even killing those whom I deem as threats to my freedom, those who hurt my friends, and those who I feel try to take the ones I care about away from me.

My hobbies are: Music, Gaming, History, Surfing the Internet, Food, Travel (although I've hardly traveled), Movies, learning about new cultures.

Anyways, onto the living abroad/dating abroad part:

I am a shy guy that has issues initiating a lot of things. This is due to my fear of rejection. Although I have become more bold recently, I am still quite shy.

When it comes to dating I really don't have much experience. I am into serious relationships, short term flings, pickup artist, and P4P are NOT long term solutions for me. I believe that the bond between my partner and I is strictly one-on-one, and should remain that way. This makes me especially hateful of interference. Extremely social women do make me quite nervous, although it is OK if she has a few long-time friends that are nice people. Difficult parents / in-laws make my dark and malicious side come out.

I really don't have anything except for my sweet and caring personality as well as my somewhat wicked sense of humor once I really get to know someone. It's all I have in order to attract a woman. In the near future I hope to get TEFL certification so I can get a job teaching English and start going to places. I am really NOT the guy concerned about money, as long as I can make a decent income. A woman that wants the finer things in life? Go look elsewhere.

I am really not too demanding when it comes to finding a woman (though to sex tourists it is a list of requirements). In terms of weight I am aiming for an average body (not model type), as long as she is not super overweight like 70-80% of Anglo women are. For looks a 7-8 is fine with me. Don't care too much about age, as long as A) the age difference is not too awkward B) We get along very well and understand each other. In fact, I sometimes tend to be attracted to older women who are more experienced in life and dress better. Or maybe it is just that I am more attracted to mature, motherly qualities (my birthday July 3rd, Cancer sun).

I like both hot and cute types, tall and short. What really matters to me is whether A) She is kind and generous B) Whether we understand each other and can talk to each other C) Whether she can understand my hidden side. If she has a sense of humor and is good at teasing me every once in a while, that makes me more interested. If she has an extremely timid and obedient nature when it comes to her controlling and paranoid family, she should toughen up a little if she's going to get serious with me.

One of the signs of me liking a woman is the constant temptation to cuddle and touch her. I get slightly clingy. As opposed to my normally shy nature in groups, I am a great talker and good at using words to make a woman feel wanted in one-on-one situations.

I don't want the woman to be a gold-digger that's desperate to improve her own life and her family's life. Her parents should be self-sufficient. I'm not opposed to her having a job and making her own money. Don't think a working woman automatically equals a spoiled and self-entitled feminist.

In terms of countries Vietnam is 1st on my list and I've been doing a lot of work getting Vietnamese girls online. One of them is already a bit serious about me (she's 21, works but lives with her parents, but she hardly mentions them). I hope to make my first visit to Vietnam this year during Christmas OR next year in spring. If most things turn out to be good I will consider settling down there (at least for a while) with my woman.

So after explaining my current situation, I need advice and opinions from you guys, whether it be countries, women, etc. Please don't give me BS like "gain status", "gain assets", "sexual marketplace value", etc. I'd rather stay single than be with a woman that likes me for those reasons. Thanks!

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Junior Poster
Posts: 674
Joined: October 15th, 2013, 4:22 am
Location: Beijing, China

Post by Bao3niang » January 30th, 2014, 12:59 pm

I am not a guy with good taste. Don't care too much about dress and brand names. Really laid-back and casual. A bit sloppy sometimes....

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Joined: April 24th, 2012, 3:43 am
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Post by adann » January 31st, 2014, 1:45 am

Here's some advice.

You are still young at 18.
1. Enroll in a general Bachelors degree program (3 years) and get that BA. This will be your ticket to teaching English in the future
2. Your degree has to be from an English speaking country so therefore choose a Canadian university with a good exchange program with schools in the country you want to study/live in.
3. Learn the local language of the country you want to head to.
4. You will be upgrading yourself for your future career while enjoying a life abroad.
5. If you are not able to get into an exchange program during the first year, then you should meet and befriend international/foreign exchange students at your university.

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Post by Taco » January 31st, 2014, 2:41 am

Lying in China will get you any where you want to go. With that idea in mind, buy a fake degree and TEFL online and start teaching right away, Chinese English schools never check so don't worry about it. Or you can find a graphic designer to photo shop a fake degree for you. However, Chinese schools often discriminate against ethnic Chinese teachers in their hiring. Unfortunately, they need to hire white people to convince the parents their teachers are fluent in English.

Lots of Chinese and Korean guys go to Vietnam to look girlfriends and wives and do really well. Another option is to move to Southern China where there's a lot more single Chinese women to choose from. The last option is to find a Filipina, that's what I did. Filipinas like Chinese guys and they are very easy to please.

You can join Date In Asia, its free. I met my wife here.

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