I am still so new to this site - and things to work out

[Eric]

Like the title says, it says all. My head is spinning, I am buzzing and there's a lot swirling around in there. I'm fairly new here to the forum, and so I'm still desperately trying to work out some issues that I have. There's just so much going on.
I have so much to talk about - I don't know where to start. I'm thinking I'm going to China, I'm thinking it more every day. The more I'm reading these updates and posts by posters here, the more I'm getting glimpses of just how collectively sunken our culture has become.
So many things went through my mind in a day, should I go to China? what if I were to work in Mexico... Phillipines, etc. How will I make it? Is the American dream still alive, at all?
First, I want to talk a little about some issues I've realized I had, today. I think that living in this country, has forced me to warp and bend my mind so much - that now, I at least have some pretty nearly serious behavioral/mental issues in this place - at times, I can lose my temper, sometimes...I can be in a different place and forego political correctness or our culture and say things w/out a filter. Like for example today I was so depressed about American females that I told a friend - he had no idea what I was talking about.... I'm just blurting shit out now, to random people, because "Im at that point." ..I just need to get it out. He had no idea what I was talking about, I got mad and threw something - then he exploded, it was bad. Stuff like that, it gets crazy. I also thought today that, my experiences as a youth in other countries taught me to be welcoming and "adopt" to other cultures, and so...I naturally tried that strategy when I got to this depraved America. It wasn't conscious I just did it. I think that really damaged me and, set me back. I was just thinking that today - how much further along and a life I could have had if I had stayed a path for myself. Then, this culture really gets you either way, when you live in it.
Anyway, God... how do I say? I think today I got my head in the right place, at least - I remembered the American optimism and got that spirit inside me, today while I was at work. It made me feel better, like that's what I should strive to be, not anything this dumb culture tells me to be. Also felt bad that I wasted a lot of time, here this far in my life. I could have pursued it. Anyways, long story. This is where I'm at. I'm wondering, should I stay here - try to tough it out? Live in America? The more I read these forums.....the more I don't want to - the more I want to leave. I'm just trying to control myself. I have so much on my mind. It's hard to encapsulate.

Sorry, I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now. It's not easy to try and say what all I am saying.

[Ghost]

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[Eric]

It depends on what you want. Do you want a chance at having a wife and kids? To live a freer life without so much regulation on your thoughts and behavior? To have (literally) a world of possibilities? If so, then go abroad.

Do you want luxury and comfort? A controlled environment where everything is "safe" at all times? Stay in America.

I want life. Not just to incubate in the matrix. The things you talk about, they make me remember a distant past and make me feel like I've been robbed.

[xiongmao]

I lived in China for a while - it's not a good place to be if you're prone to losing your temper. I just had to bite my lip every time somebody pushed in front of me in a shop queue, or somebody tried to run me over with a silent electric bicycle.

The best thing a man can get is a CAREER, so work on getting one.

Once you have a career, don't get sidetracked into politics and other stuff that doesn't really matter to you personally. Just do MGTOW stuff and accumulate cash.

[Eric]

Well, just honest. I feel like once I lost this place, I'd lose much of my temper. Just fyi. I think I've been saying that ...kind of sorta in all my other posts.