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Love Me? Love my Culture ( and my Country) Warts and All!

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Love Me? Love my Culture ( and my Country) Warts and All!

Postby ladislav » January 1st, 2010, 1:43 pm

What many guys do not understand when they go and woo girls from another ethnic, cultural and national background is that they may now be forever tied to that girl's culture and country.

It used to be the case in the old days when America was so powerful and other countries weak and backward, that for many people going back home was a logistical impossibility as well as a political and economic impossibility. They had no money, the other countries were dictatorial and would, sometimes, arrest them upon their return there, and America was so advanced in comparison that the wives of American guys would have no choice but become Americanized. They would take roots and just live out their lives in the US becoming first generation Americans ( or first generation immigrants as they would more often be called).

Guess what? Surprise, surprise! This is no longer the case. The Internet with instant messaging and inexpensive phone calls as well very quick and affordable international travel will no longer have your wife isolated from her home culture. She will want to go back home often and for you to follow. She will also probably expect you to learn the local food and for you to visit her family often. Her country is no longer the "Ol' Country" whose backwardness she left behind to resettle in the prosperous America, but is now a New Country- a modern, technologically advanced nation with most conveniences you have for modern life Yup! -surprise, surprise!-also, her country now is not such a bad place to live. Actually, often it is cheaper and freeer than the US!

So, the days of swaggering GIs bringing back home humbled war brides are mostly over!
If you think that by finding a foreign girl, you will be getting a better version of an American girl who will abandon everything back home and just live with you an all American life, you may have fewer such girls to choose from. In most cases, you will now, for the rest of your marriage to her be connected to that country, culture, language and food and will have to put up with the good and the bad thereof.

So, before you embark on a journey to find, say a Lithuanian girl, ask yourself- do you think you will like Lithuania? Will you like its language and food? Will you be willing to accept its shortcomings? Will you like the Lithuanian way of life? Because, by connecting your life to the lady, her country, family and culture will now become part of your life as well. For better or for worse.

Ask yourself an even better question- will you be willing to resettle in the girl's country if she wants you to do that and abandon America the way you want her to abandon the place where she had grown up? You'd better be ready!

This is something few guys think about when they drool over a luscious body and a cute face of a foreign girl.
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Postby Montanaland » January 1st, 2010, 10:25 pm

A great reality check.

Taking looks over compatabilty seems to be the downfall for guys. My buddy was telling me the other night at happy hour about an article he read in the one of the magaznes he gets in his classroom (psychology today..i think) about arranged marriages in India having a better success rate than that of America. He says the article pointed to the reason that our parents are better at picking a compatible mate than we are.

I can see the importance of at least matching your personality with a country and culture.. and as you have stated thier are some very opposite countires out there for the somewhat extroverted happy go lucky american.
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Postby ladislav » January 2nd, 2010, 1:01 pm

Extraversion and happy-go-lucky-ness are relative. An American by and large appears extroverted to the Japanese and the Brits as well as the Baltic people. He sometimes appears reserved and cold to Latins and Eastern Slavs. So, in some cases, one needs to find a match by going there and seeing how the whole vibe jives with you.
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