How many of you actually Cold Approach girls?

[Cornfed]

Should we really be encouraging men to cold approach females? Aside from being stupid and obnoxious, if lots of me do this it is just going to convince all females that any time a man makes contact with them he wants to f**k them which will make them generally hostile and defensive towards men, as they all are in the West. Lets not further destroy society.

[jamesbond]

This guy advocates cold approaching women. Here he says men should date a lot of women before getting a girlfriend. There are a lot of guys on YouTube who advocate cold approaching. I would love to see these guys cold approach women in real life and see how many phone numbers they get.

[tiagomoncada]

I've cold approached girls, and the vast majority of them are hostile, or agresive. Most of them's immediate reaction is suspicion, like I want something from them. Maybe I'm a scammer, or want money. I feel like people, or women, will respond to you differently if they knew your position, or role in society. So for example, even if you are the security guard at a mall, and a woman doesn't know you, and you say hello to a woman, she will respond a lot differently than she would if you were just a PUA who ran up on her. Now although a security guard is nothing special, I feel like a woman would at least be willing to have a conversation with him, whereas she may just dismiss, and ignore the PUA entirely, even if both of them open with the same line "hello how are you". I also had a similar experience when I used to hang out at a college as a non student, and people would ask me if I was a student. I said no, and they would just end the conversation. I later enrolled at college, and both the students, and employees were much more open to me, talking about their lives, and even asking me for socials without me asking. So in scenario one, I was just a random guy. Scenario 2, my status is established. That I'm a student. But in actuality, I was the same person, but people just responded to me a lot differently. This is not to say that you should become a student in order to be accepted. No that;s not what I'm saying. Just that people will respond very differently when they know, and don't know your status/role. I actually know a college student who runs up on random women in parks, which is really stupid, because all women dismiss him. The funny thing is, he doesn't chat up any women at college. Needless to say, he is single, and has never dated anyone

[tiagomoncada]

I was wondering something. How many of you actually cold approach girls or women in public? Or know someone who does?

The thing is, very very few guys have the guts to actually do that. It feels abnormal, out of the normal flow of things, and risky like you're going out on a limb. When you approach a stranger, you don't know what will happen or how she will react. So it takes nerves and can be emotionally draining and feel like hard work, because you feel pressure to hold her interest and maintain the conversation. I don't think most guys can do that, probably at least 99 percent of guys do not cold approach girls they think are hot. And I do not see guys doing that in public, not even in Asia.
It seems that on PUA websites and dating websites, approaching girls is talked about as if it were a normal thing that many guys do. But in reality, very very few guys, probably less than one percent, actually cold approach girls or even try to chat them up in public. It simply feels creepy. You gotta do it in an appropriate manner, such as asking for directions first and gauging their body language. Or asking an innocent question and then seeing how friendly they are or what vibe they have.

Exactly, I NEVER see guys cold approaching women in public, only at bars and clubs. The only girls I cold approached were in college and the girls where very receptive to me. I live in a big metropolitan area and I have yet to see ANY guys cold approach girls.

PUA websites and discussion forums make it look like guys are cold approaching women every day. Roosh said all the guys he knows are out cold approaching women all the time! I highly doubt that, I also highly doubt that Roosh himself is out cold approaching girls all the time.

The fact is, in America (and in the UK, Canada and Australia) women DO NOT want guys striking up conversations with them. You can see this in their face and in their body language. Most women in english speaking countries only want to meet guys through their friends.

I've seen alot of guys cold approach, and most of them don't go well. Even the ones who look like they go well don;t lead anywhere, because I will go up to the PUA after he does his thing and ask him about his results. The seemlingly "successful" ones tell me they get numbers but no calls back, let alone a date. Thing with cold approach is, there are a certain segment of females who will be nice, not because they like you, but because they don't want any backlash. They also give phone numbers to get rid of men, not because they want to keep in touch. Not saying that all cold approach ends this way, but I've never heard of a success story, and I know about 10 PUA

[tiagomoncada]

Any date/girlfriend I had before was through friends. Same with pretty much everyone I know. I can't imagine any of the married guys I know having any success picking up women at the grocery or on the street; the thought is laughable to me. I'm pretty sure the people going on about cold approaching women are a tiny but vocal minority. An ugly man might still stand a chance by building a relationship from friendship with girls but he's doomed to failure at cold approaches.

Unfortunately, as I'm in my 30's and my social circles have dried up of single available women, I have no choice but learn how to cold approach, or resort to online dating.

Once you are out of school and your friends are all married, your options for meeting single women through your friends is slim and none (and slim just walked out the door).

Cold approaching is something all guys have to learn at some point once they hit their 30's. It's easier to cold approach in a country were the women are receptive to men (eastern Europe, South America and the Philippines).

A lot of young guys who are in school think they have time. They don't realize once they leave school, they won't really come in contact with that many single females. This is why the majority of pua tend to be a bit on the older side. Once they realize how old they are, they go into desperation mode, realizing both their biological clock is ticking, and options are limited, and that's kind of what youre seeing on the streets with pua running up on women.

[tiagomoncada]

I think I do. What does "cold approach" mean? What would be an example? Just walking up to a woman & asking "Wanna f**k?" or is it just starting to talk about something like "You know the guy that wrote that is actually...?" Is a "Hello," involved?

cold approach just basically means you talked to a woman uninvited. there was no eye contact, no smile. often times pua will approach a woman from behind, or the side, usually startling the female. honestly, if you startle the female, chances are, the conversations not going to go well. even when people surprise me with a conversation (whether male, or female) i dont know how to respond to it.

most cold approach starts with a compliment, but also pick up lines. they are almost always scripted. guys who do these kinds of things usually go online, do a search on "how do i get girls", then they go on the websites, and are handed advice, instructions, and pick up lines. i know one pua who says something like "what foreign languages can you speak"? it is basically his way of starting a conversation. it sounds both wierd, and awkward, and has led to nothing. the most common one ive heard from pua is "i know this sounds strange, but i saw you from across the street, and you looked cute, i thought i would come and introduce myself", which sounds creepy, because like, what were you doing looking at me from across the street, like u a predator and just looking for prey, and scanning for victims. the better way would be to make it look like a coincidence, but most pua are unable to pull it off and make it look like they are systematically, or ritualistically doing cold approaches. most cold approaches are planned, and look planned. i suppose if you were natural about it, you wouldnt be a pua

[tiagomoncada]

or you can just not be afraid of rejection

whats the worst thing that can happen? she says no and you don't bang her

thats the same result as if you didnt try

The problem is that it gets exhausting and discouraging. If she gives you signals, sure. But then it isn't a cold approach. The problem with PUA advice is they expect you to approach every single girl you see that you find attractive. This because a hobby in and of itself. It isn't healthy. The only way to find girls in the U.S. is through social circles.

In america, alot of it has to do with race. I know that blacks, cold approaching blacks will get a noticably different reaction from black ghetto men approaching white women. There are also other races that are more open to people such as islanders. So if an islander approaches another islander in america, that is more acceptable and likely to lead to something. Same with the Latino community. When it comes to approaching white women in america, that;s where things are difficult because they tend to be more closed off, but even in western europe too. If you approach a white woman in western europe, australia, canada, you better have a reason

[tiagomoncada]

Yes I do, but I've given up doing this in Toronto. Too many "Pick Up Artists" who have made the whole city a giant cesspool. Its not worth my time anymore, but if I do see a good opportunity I might still capitalize on it. Other then Toronto and most of the places where there is a large PUA community, your competition is nearly zero. Most guys are too much of a p***y to do this. I've dated numerous women by cold approaching them, girls who I probably wouldn't have even had a shot out if I tried to do it online. When I first started, I was a nervous wreck and it felt weird as shit. I could barely muster up the courage to even look the girl in the eye and say hi. I got rejected hundreds of times over and over again and felt like shit for months, but eventually I got better at it where I was able to get instadates and numbers from girls.

I think this is an invaluable skill to have especially if you don't have the opportunity to meet girls through your social circle. I can know basically go to any country and approach girls and get dates. learning this skill completely changed my life and my dating situation with women.

Now I think the public approach is the ONLY way to meet women, if you don't have a neighbor who is interested, or an ample social circle. Mostly those other lifelines will have been exhausted years ago, leaving the public approach as the only means to meet women. (You don't need to expat. You just need to go outside!!)

Also, there are women in public who would be perfect for a man, but if he were to rely on social circles to carry the women to him, he will miss out, because it is likely the woman he is meant for will not be living right next door. It is also illegal to talk to certain women with the intent to start a relationship, especially in the work place and on some university campuses.

The public approach is the only way. That means a man has to go out in public frequently, rather than only going between school/work and home everyday. That excludes bars and clubs, where the women can be quite evil. Besides that it is too dark, women want free drinks, and they mostly want to dance with their friends. Many women do not go to bars and clubs to meet men, oddly enough, they don't. But that's okay. That just means it is a waste of time to go to those places. Plus, if you manage to get one, you'll just be one of many she met that way, and you'll be sticking your member into a petri dish of unknown microorganisms.

I think the problem is when a guy takes cold approaching too far, or listens to the PUA types that tell him to go out and cold-approach 1000 women. Never go out cold approaching as a hobby. If I happen to find a cute girl along the path, I consider cold approaching. But I don't beat myself up over "what could have been" and what not. The fact is that the majority of relationships result from mutual friendships.

Most pua i know treat cold approach like a job. They set monday, tuesday, thursday to approach women at starbucks from 1:00-2:00. and during that time, they just approach a bunch of females. but heres the thing, outside of those times, these pua do nothing. so they can see an attractive woman smiling at them, on sunday, and do pretty much nothing. women who are interested in you dont show up at designated times. they will most likely catch you off guard, just as pua catch women off guard. it's really more important to know how to respond to those situations rather than doing your approaches on mondya, tuesday, thursday. you can do 1000 approaches and walk away empty handed, or you can see that one woman at the gym who smiled at you, respond correctly, and really not have to do any approaches

[tiagomoncada]

Yes I do, but I've given up doing this in Toronto. Too many "Pick Up Artists" who have made the whole city a giant cesspool. Its not worth my time anymore, but if I do see a good opportunity I might still capitalize on it. Other then Toronto and most of the places where there is a large PUA community, your competition is nearly zero. Most guys are too much of a p***y to do this. I've dated numerous women by cold approaching them, girls who I probably wouldn't have even had a shot out if I tried to do it online. When I first started, I was a nervous wreck and it felt weird as shit. I could barely muster up the courage to even look the girl in the eye and say hi. I got rejected hundreds of times over and over again and felt like shit for months, but eventually I got better at it where I was able to get instadates and numbers from girls.

I think this is an invaluable skill to have especially if you don't have the opportunity to meet girls through your social circle. I can know basically go to any country and approach girls and get dates. learning this skill completely changed my life and my dating situation with women.

Now I think the public approach is the ONLY way to meet women, if you don't have a neighbor who is interested, or an ample social circle. Mostly those other lifelines will have been exhausted years ago, leaving the public approach as the only means to meet women. (You don't need to expat. You just need to go outside!!)

Also, there are women in public who would be perfect for a man, but if he were to rely on social circles to carry the women to him, he will miss out, because it is likely the woman he is meant for will not be living right next door. It is also illegal to talk to certain women with the intent to start a relationship, especially in the work place and on some university campuses.

The public approach is the only way. That means a man has to go out in public frequently, rather than only going between school/work and home everyday. That excludes bars and clubs, where the women can be quite evil. Besides that it is too dark, women want free drinks, and they mostly want to dance with their friends. Many women do not go to bars and clubs to meet men, oddly enough, they don't. But that's okay. That just means it is a waste of time to go to those places. Plus, if you manage to get one, you'll just be one of many she met that way, and you'll be sticking your member into a petri dish of unknown microorganisms.

I think the problem is when a guy takes cold approaching too far, or listens to the PUA types that tell him to go out and cold-approach 1000 women. Never go out cold approaching as a hobby. If I happen to find a cute girl along the path, I consider cold approaching. But I don't beat myself up over "what could have been" and what not. The fact is that the majority of relationships result from mutual friendships.

Cold approaching 1000 women will probably just result in a very damaged ego. Most American women don't want to be cold approached by anyone. I truly think for the AW, they need enough time to decide for themselves first before the man does anything. I don't understand why that is exactly. It might just be the nature of being Anglo. European women don't seem to have that much of a problem with the cold approach from my experience, but the thing with that is, Europe is much more open sexually, and many of the women who are open to it are probably in it for the sport of it themselves. However, in Europe, just about every girl I've met will close the man, rather than the man having to close the woman. That is, at least for me, if I approached the woman first, she would then be the one to ask to meet me again and for my number. Every chick that I had my (now shameful) success with happened that way. American women will not close the deal for the man, unless the man knows exactly how to prompt them to do it. European women do it automatically.

Having said all that, I much prefer WARM approaches, where the woman sends the signal first. That is an almost guarantee of success, unless the woman is completely nuts.

i know a pua who did about 10000 approaches. he was one of those men who were in special ed when they were young, so he was damaged goods from the begining. he was/is a wierd awkward guy, and nobody really ever liked him. alot of pua will say that cold approach will make you good at approaching, and improve your confidence, but here's what i gather from this pua's experience. i found that the rejection has made him angry, self pity, and bitter, not only at women, but at the world, because when you're rejected, it's hard to just isolate it to women alone. so his bitterness carried over into his general perception of people. and heres the thing, his anger, and bitterness will also show in his cold approach, because most cant really hide these kinds of things. this leads to a vicious cycle, his bitterness, and anger affect the way he cold approaches, and the cold approaches make him more bitter, and angry. he would post on instagram hoping that others would feel sorry for him. alot of other men also have the same problem, where they hate women, and most people cant link the two together. cold approach rejection, and hatred towards women.

[tiagomoncada]

In Italy cold approaching girls is seen as desperate and creepy.
Girls want to be introduced to guys through a common friend, they absolutely hate when a guy approach them out of the blue. They think that a cool guy would never do that because if he's cool he has a social circle and meet girls from it.
They do everything they can to avoid to be bothered by such losers. They walk with friends (never alone), they make phone calls, they put earphones on....whatever.

Either you have a cool social circle or you're out of the dating pool.

In East Europe I sometimes do it but top notch girls (models) don't like it either. They already have big social circle with cool people in it. Average girls are ok with it though and they rarely give hard rejections.

i think cold approach is seen as desprate and creepy everywhere. alot of guys have said filipinos are open to it, but if you made it clear to the filipina women that they are being cold approached, and give them the clear definition of what a cold approach is, they are likely to also consider it creepy and desprate

[tiagomoncada]

Check out what someone in our facebook group said:

https://mobile.facebook.com/groups/7616 ... =bookmarks

"Winston I have a theory that a country only has hot approachable young women when the GDP per PPP is 10K or less. And as it approaches 15K its as bad as america. For example mexico is 18K right now. Indonesia is about 11K Thailand is i think 16K China is a bit under 10K vietnam and phil are well under 10K. At one time thailand and china were very poor but not as much now but china is poor enough that some women are still approachable they are poorer on average than thai."

that gdp theory is wrong. in 1966, china's gdp was relatively low, but nonetheless was alot more conservative than it is now, and they believed that you were not supposed to date. instead you should get married young. chinese are also heavy into match making, so basically no one had to do cold approaches because everyone from your barber to your landlord would try to arrange a mate for you. even today, many chinese (including taiwanese) will have this practice of trying to set up people that they barely know. one of the first questions a chinese will ask you, even today, is "are you single or married". if you said single, then they would try to arrange something for you. alot of other poor countries are also very conservative, once again, meaning they dont do much dating, and go straight into marriage. indonesia is also an islamic country and that has to have an effect on how dating is viewed. even in india, someone who dates around is looked down upon. if you are having sex with people without being married, people wont respect you. even in the us, it was like this a few generations ago.

[tiagomoncada]

Seeker is totally wrong. Cold approach may not usually work in america, but it definitely does in Philippines.

I met my dream girl in the Philippines 10 years ago through a cold approach. I was just hanging out at the mall when I saw this beautiful angel who was the spitting image of J. Lo. She actually made eye contact and smiled at me. So I approached her, got her number, and the very next day she was jumping in my lap, crawling all over me, and sucking the lips right off my face. Unfortunately, I had to return to the USA a few days later and she married some other westerner. That's why I don't take short trips abroad anymore. My next overseas jaunt will be at least 3 months long.

if she smiled at u. how is that cold approach?

[tiagomoncada]

One of the main reasons I don't approach women is not the women; it's men around me, who aren't men, but spiteful spineless simpering cowards who are backstabbing and passive aggressive (the younger they are the worse it gets/ I've resigned myself to only associating with my generation or older); they'll take notice and become hateful/envious & hostile - which is a powerful force to contend with; the presence of overt threat overpowers the will to flirt; which is something you do because you can. It can make me so mad. These men aren't real men, they've lost the ability; and therefor revert to only thing they can do - immature attack from a point of being hurt - at a guy who did nothing to them; only out of their own insecurities & dysfunctions. Like I said, I think a lot of these guys have sex with each other, but I can't prove it. This blunting of masculine traits is truly a toxic force, it creates dead, damaged guys which exerts a downward peer- pressure on the rest. It's a shame because it creates competition between men - there will always be competition, but the competition now doesn't need to exist. I've seen outright hostility. It IS harder to hit on girls now...
I try not to give any attention whatsoever to these guys around me.
I can literally feel myself become center-stage as I go into flirt with a girl; I instinctively sense hostility around me from the beta guys (it's always only the beta guys), real men wouldn't mind and would even congratulate me. It's like their ears perk up and they watch every move I make. It's definitely a hate. It's very ugly and pathetic, worst part is that this is like the standard norm now. It's scary and unnerving; and you start to feel like the weird one.
This toxic environment can deter the staunchest of men; which is why I feel you see less & less men approaching women. It's not the women themselves, it's guys incapability...and their own collective hostility at ones who are strong. It's probably one of the ugliest parts of being a guy. It's painful to see human males suffering so much in a state of dysfunction; but you've got to ignore them. You've got no choice, you don't want to be part of something sick; you've got to live life.
I try to just ignore them I try not to even look at them, I know nothing but negativity will be waiting for me. I try not to even go around where beta males sit, if there are women around.

I've made the mistake of trying to be nice to these guys because I've felt sorry for them; but what a mistake. You become weaker yourself. You can't come near a tree on fire unless you want to catch fire. ... You'll become a victim of their rage; these people only feel good when you suck just as much as they do... codependent.

there are some venues where alot of pua operate, and what ends up hapening is, women become more defensive because there are many pua around, so they dismiss genuine men when they do actually approach, because in her mind, "it's another pua. let me get rid of him real quick". even when i am around a college campus, i had a guy come up to me, and try to convert me into christianity. after that incident, i just would dismiss anyone who tried to start a conversation with me, because many religious guys will start religious cnversions with casual conversations

[tiagomoncada]

White Culture and those who follow these crap are miserable. I did follow but it did not Full FILL me as a human being eventually.

As Winston agrees that finding your Soul Mate is not in your hands no matter how good you look, rich you are or great at approaching girls. There are higher forces at play. RESPECT THAT.

Even if you sleep with 100 hot women in your city. The feeling of been good is temporary, just like Drugs...Its just a FIX not a Solution.

They hide the success ratio of cold approaching women with whom they married eventually or the Divorce Rate of marrying women whom you cold approached. The raw data is missing, only how many Lays, Hits you had....which is also very less.

Of-course the Pitch they give you always is ...Its better than having nothing, it will remove all your introvert behavior, You always dreamed of Hot women, you will have it when you approach 100+ women and sleep with few of them. THAT'S IT. Nothing further than that...Give me data on how many of those got married, had no divorce, had good relationship. I might as well sleep with hookers or make money and then get women in plenty come to me than go to them. My point is there are many ways for introvert to get women.

I agree the other side is not good either, been lonely, no girl to go out with etc..That's where the brilliance of rulers of this planet comes into picture. Its incredibly smart. You will not be happy on either side.

They always play on your GREY MIND. Of-course it feels great to be with HOT WOMEN, Everyone wants a hot women in their life but few get it and not all women are Hot. So the stats are already stacked against you BUT the final blow comes to you when you really liked a girl and you will never have her.

Ask Winston and his Murphy Law. The girls he really wanted to be with after cold approaching, he never gets her for long term....like what happened to him recently in Thailand and China. He is still looking for the one...He is honest about it but every single one of these PUA will suffer the same FATE. Guaranteed. BECAUSE REMEMBER. Finding your SOUL MATE, THE ONE...is NOT IN YOUR HANDS EVER...

Winston is open about both situation, so we can deduce his life and see how far it took him. He never got the girl he wanted when he was an introvert and he never got the girl he wanted when he was an extrovert.

He is still LOOKING...by Design...Because there are FAR FAR greater forces at play that controls your life.

There is really NO SUCH THING AS FREEDOM. You do not have Freedom at all. You just think you have Choice. BUT YOU DO NOT, otherwise Winston with his 1000+ approach for over 20 years and NO APPROACH pretty much during his young life would have already got his dream girl.

STOP WASTING YOUR TIME. Stop Going around in Circles with BS.

There is such a thing as GOD, he humbles you which I'm sure Winston felt heartbreaking to see his THE ONE slip away from him.

You will never ever find the girl you want through anything. ITS FIXED ALREADY. YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE. The biggest secret EVERY American NEEDS TO LEARN.

Go Spiritual, Understand God, Realize God. Its all a GOD show. There is a higher chance of you getting the girl of your dreams by seeking spiritual path than PUA. When God comes to your life, Girl will too...but its not guaranteed ...because...

God really is the only SHOW IN TOWN...We are all on his SHOW....He doesn't have to give you anything or he can give everything like girl of your dreams. Nothing moves without God. He decides whatever happens to you....You do not have a Choice in-front of God.

religion isnt the solution either. thats why you have mormon dating apps like mutual, because people are lonley, and god cant help. however, i should say that mormons seem to get married more than atheists for example, so religious people do have an advantage, but you shouldnt become religious just for the sake of finding a wife if being religious goes against your values as a person. the thing with winston though (and other pua), it might be his personality that doesnt vibe with others. if there are personality problems, then it wont matter how many approaches you do, the odds are stacked against you. problem with pua is they dont see any problems with their personality, and alot of it is bigger than our controls, so for example, if you came from an isolationist family, where your parents werent outgoing, and social, you kind of adopt those patterns of behavior, and you become an outcast as an adult. there isnt a whole lot you can do to change that. certainly being religious isnt going to change that either, particularly if youre depresed, have low self esteem, are autistic, etc. if that were the case, then we all just believe in god, and thered be no more autistic, depresed people

[vlkmo]

I don't know if this is necessarily accurate, but I read that even in they heyday of living in America (the middle 20th century before feminism) cold approaching or cat calling was at least frowned upon.