Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
5 posts • Page 1 of 1
This film comes in 3 parts, and is about how dating in America is difficult for "nice guys." It's made by WongFuProductions, a famous Chinese-American filmmaking group. Allow for about 30 minutes.
Winston asked me for a CliffNotes version of the film, so here it is.
Synopsis: Nick, played by Philip Wang, is your typical frustrated nice guy in America. One of his female friends, Pauline, says that dating him will be like "dating a brother," and goes on to date a T.A. instead. However, Nick is romantically attracted to Amy, one of his best female friends. The problem is that they are only friends. One of Nick's friends advises him that popular jerks get the girls, not the nice guys (in his own words, "NG"). Amy then suddenly calls Nick up, and they end up at a party. Nick follows his male friend's advice and first tries to act like a jerk. Amy and Kristin, who one of Amy's friends, say that Nick is not acting like himself. Next, Nick tries the "popular guy" strategy by pretending to talk on the phone about a "hot chick" he had seen. Amy and Kristin then disappear upstairs. Nick follows them and overhears that Amy talking about a guy that she is about to go out with. In despair, Nick wanders downstairs, and is confronted by a drunk girl who confesses her crush for Nick. Nick does not care about her and walks outside the house, still thinking about Amy. Kristin suddenly appears and scolds Nick for not letting Amy know that he is more than just a friend. Nick then calls Amy, who informs him that on Thursday she is going to lunch with someone else instead of Nick. The next day, Nick meets Amy, who tells him that she is now going off to lunch with another guy. Nick tries to confess his feelings for her, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, he only says that he'll be "going home for the weekend." Amy nods and walks off. Nick then stands up and stops her from walking away any further. He confesses that he likes her more than just a friend, and that he hopes this wouldn't ruin their friendship. Amy gets a call from the guy she was supposed to be going out to lunch with, and says she can't make it. Amy also tells Nick that she has feelings for him too. Finally, they hug each other, and go off to lunch together as a romantic couple. The End.
This is all too true to me, as I have personally experienced this in college. So are countless other guys, and even some girls, in America.
Great job WongFuProductions. Now they should travel abroad and make videos about what it's like to be a nice guy outside America!
Last edited by Falcon on Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:13 am, edited 5 times in total.
- The scene of the girl laughing about how going out with Nick would be like "dating a brother," is upsetting.
- That same girl wanted to screw her TA instead, perhaps for the grades. What on earth. This could only get far worse in the corporate world.
- Kristin has that stereotypical AW attitude that you guys all complain about.
- The scene of the drunk girl confessing her love to Nick is mildly disturbing. This is because it shows how inhibited, unflirtatious, cold, and ambiguous they would be when NOT drunk. ( http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12570 )
- Nice ending, but at least half the time, such situations end in complete disaster (which was what had happened to me in high school). A highly likely alternative real-life scenario would be that Amy gets "weirded out" by Nick's confrontation, though she won't be "creeped out." Throughout the rest of their college years, they will then have to deal with intense awkwardness as everyone else happily gossips about Nick's failed confession.
- Now imagine that Nick loses Amy, and is out there again in the dating scene. He will probably not have any more long-time female friends that could be potential girlfriends. More ordeals and sleepless nights for him. Once he graduates from college, things will only go downhills unless he shows off a lot of money.
It took forever to finally get Amy to like him. I don't see why initiating romance has to be so extraordinarily stressful and confusing. Why is it that in America, opposite gender friends are paranoid of even remotely flirting with each other, and have to place each other in strictly platonic "friend zones" for an indefinite length of time. This is why Nick was going through so much trouble.
In many ways, asking out a girl at school is like asking out a girl at work or at church. This is because you are doing so in a closed social network that you cannot afford to mess up in. One of the biggest advantages of dating overseas is that it is easy to move on if something went wrong.
In Latin America, female friends would openly flirt with male friends. If they like each other, then they just take the casual flirts to the next level. Simple as that. Various forum members here have also said this about the Philippines. With my girlfriend, I never had to invite her to any meals, go through brutal confessions, or be her best friend beforehand. When we first met, we had already started to casually flirt. Our conversations got more and more romantic, and that was it. Many other girls had also flirted with me, but I just didn't take it up to the next level.
What exactly is a "nice guy"? How would you define it? I mean, everyone is nice if they want something, and if they have to be, or if they are around someone they like. What's the difference between a nice guy and a not so nice guy?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
OK Winston, I've added a summary for those who don't feel like watching the entire film.
Nick is a nice guy because he is a mama's boy who never swears, always tutors girls, give rides to them, fixes laptops for them, and so on. Part 2 shows how he tries to deviate from that and become a not-so-nice guy. He swears, acts aggressively, and talks about other women objectively in front of people. The not-so-nice guy could be an athletic jock, gangsta/thug, popular dude, or just a selfish macho guy in general.
From the video:
"I'd always wanted to believe that as long as you're a good person, girls would notice and appreciate that. But was it true?"
Genuine nice guys have an internal code of honor. It's the golden rule. Unfortunately, as Wong Fu Productions illuminated, treating everyone with respect somehow gets confused as treating everyone the same ie not making her feel special.
I think that an even more important question from a man's perspective nowadays is, "What is a nice girl and how does one recognize her?"
On another note, not everyone is nice when they want something. There are many people out there that are decidedly not nice with no remorse to get what they want from others. Intimidation, yelling, threatening, shaming, sarcasm, etc. come to mind. You'd be surprised how many acquiesce to rude behaviour.
5 posts • Page 1 of 1
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Rock and 4 guests