Jeez you're a wet blanket sometimes.
No, someone DOESNT have to fall in love first, then discover the baggage later. Yes a guy CAN be deliberate.
The point of the OP was not to victimize emotionally vulnerable girls, the point was to get a Filipina without marrying the whole damn village.
Hmm...sorry Jes, I didn't read it that way. And I may be too young and idealistic, or too old and dumb to understand. Or just an ocean apart from the "anything can be bought for the right price" mindset typical of many Americans.
Ahh Public, you're playing with us now, naughty boy. You know darn well we are not typical Americans, and that typical Americans would not be considering such ideas. In fact, typical Americans would agree with everything you are saying in this post.
Yet, I am wondering, what's the fascination with "getting a Filipina", no matter how poor, destitute and emotionally burdened, as long as she's young, a virgin and free of the kind social obligations typical of that culture?
Yes I suppose anyone as wealthy as we are would be foolish to dilute our estate by marrying someone poor and destitute. Let's stick with those smart-assed, entitled, slutty children of divorce, who know how to upload a selfie from an Iphone 6. They will better safeguard our extensive holdings.
Can't OP just take a little extra effort and look for a girl who can stand on her own feet
You mean one of those sassy independent career woman, who doesn't need a man to take care of her? Yeah, MM-HMMM, yes indeedy that's what **I ** want. You BETCHA.
or take the time to understand her family situation and past better before "falling in love" (= choosing her)?
You mean you could date a girl for a while, get her all interested in you, hold hands and kiss, hug, spend time, till she takes you home...
and you could do all that without falling in love?
What part of italy are you from anyway? The ALPS?
Seriously, the OP certainly could screen for family later down the road, but if there's a way to stack the deck, why not do so? Myself, I have started screening for a girls parents being together, right up front -- but I discovered that they lie about that, here in Mexico anyway.
Until not so long ago, even in our Southern Italian towns
oh - my bad - note to self - Public is not as icy as he sounds
we had people, usually old women with too much time at hand, who could be hired as "informants" on anything coinceivable about a bride (or groom) to be: their family status, reputation, major life events etc. There's even an advertiser on this forum called "Love Private Eye" that purportedly does that for a fee.
Wisdom here, and yes do so -- before falling in love, yes...
What you get for sure is a girl with extra life baggage, often a terrible one, and possibly subpar in terms of personality and literacy. If the OP thinks that's a fair price to pay for a better chance of not having to help her family, then let him be my guest.
That's a tough one, some orphans DO have some damage - as do some others. But the not-having-to-help-family thing is not minor. People hitting you up for money all the time gets old after a while. For some guys I think it is the hardest thing about SEA wives. Certainly would make it tough to make genuine friends out there in the "province".
Creepy? Yeah till it WORKS. Then it's brilliant.
Definitely not creepy from a girls' POV. They'd be peering out, checking the guy out, giggling.
Again, it depends on what you're looking for. The idea of the Kano who turns up to an orphanage and negotiates with the carers while the girls are "peering out, checking the guy out, giggling" may sound cute, but to me it's as far detached from the dating/falling in love game as I can imagine, and as close as it gets to a pet store transaction.
Which, with all due respect to you and the OP, make me think that some of you are just too old, too jaded, or too lazy to be even pretending to like the classic dating and mating role play.
If classic dating and mating was going to work for us, why would we be on HA at all?
I'm 56, been married a long time and also been single and dating a long time, now interested in an untouched bride. So what do I do, attend a high school prom in Pasadena? Or maybe.... GO OVERSEAS?
"Classic approaches" aren't going to cut it.
Pet store transaction? You mean if there are a lot of women someplace, like a marriage-tour social, all gussied up, looking their best, and waiting to see what men come along, then they are the equivalent of dogs in cages?
Sometimes even when they're on display, with actual women, you still gotta bring it.
Or when you refer to a pet store, are you just saying that it doesn't take long to bond with someone cute, and to bond for life?
Because for some of us - you're right, it doesn't.
I have the feeling that you are a playful person, but also deliberate. Probably some women find you very charming. And mature as well.
I'm none of that. I fall in love fast, or I want to anyway, and I want to be all in.
Love is directly portrayed on this video at 4:22 when they exchange glances. and each of them commits totally.
(makes more sense if you start watching from 3:44 or before)
(sequence concludes 6:44 to 7:00)
You want it easy, easy, easy...
Easy??? Easy would be Armenian divorcees back in Glendale, my friend. A dime a dozen.
Or any any other ethnicity.
Easy would be selling real estate in LA.
Easy would be still living in a luxury high-rise with all the amenities.
Easy would be knowing some people locally.
Easy would not be changing my language and my culture and my nationality.
In what way am I taking the easy way out -- on anything?
My first sales manager told me a story about how in college he and his pals took a road trip to a girls college. He was the leader, led them into a girls dorm. They were allowed into the lobby only. He hollered upstairs: "I need five girls to go drink beer, down here in five minutes". He said the girls all crowded around the rail of the balcony, checking the guys out.
He got his five girls.
Who dares, at least has a chance.
That's a nice story, but it happened in the US and hopefully didn't involve any underage girls. I don't really see any dare or challenge in sweeping the places where the poorest and most clueless girls are found and choosing a few like one chooses his favourite ice cream scoops.
A challenge, and immense fun as far I can see, is to find the right one, the one who ticks all boxes, the one who you will take your time to woo into your arms...because she is worth it. Perhaps it's the rather cynical view that "all girls are the same anyway, so why bother" that drives some of you...who knows...
The wooing sounds very nice, and will still be necessary to some extent for most of us. Yet I know how to seduce, or let's say, move a relationship forward, pretty well. So I don't really encounter a lengthy challenge with a woman.
I think your slower, deliberate approach must create some great memories - it sounds like a European movie with subtlety, humor and great photography - but you can't expect people to just turn into copies of you.
And per the second video I posted above, from "Last of The Mohicans", I don't see your approach as being necessarily more romantic. I'm just in a different movie.