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Which one to choose?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Which one to choose?

Post by ShamelessGit » May 31st, 2014, 12:29 am

I have profiles on a lot of forums, and I've noticed that I only ever go to a forum if there is a particular question I want answered. I guess that is kind of selfish. But that's what I'm doing again this time. I hope you guys can be patient with me. Maybe you guys can also talk about how to choose between women in general, rather than just these particular women. My question is that I have 3 women who seem to be attracted to me, and I don't know which one I like the best. Ordinarily I'd ask my friends and family for advice, but I don't think they'd approve of my plans to expatriate, so I can't do that.

I've been thinking about expatriating for a long time, and I've decided to move to Russia (or some other East European nation). In order to do this, I'm taking an online TEFL course, and I'm going to start learning Russian this summer. I hope to be able to get a job in Russia at the start of their school year in September. I'll probably start applying for jobs next week.

I'm on a dating site for Russian women, and I've met 3 of them that I like a lot (and they appear to like me), and I don't know which one to try to move to be with. I guess the frustrating thing for me is that I have no way of knowing for sure what the correct decision is, because I don't think it's possible to know anyone that well if you haven't met them in person. I think the correct attitude for me is to choose a woman that I like the best, and to hope that things work out as well in person as they did on the internet, but not to be terribly disappointed if they don't.

What I'm looking for in a woman is this: I want a good wife and a good friend. I'm not interested in banging lots of women. If I had it my way, I'd only have sex with one more woman in my life, and I'd have sex with her every day until I died. I want a family, and I cherish the stability and security of a relationship.

I'm a 22 year old engineering student, and I'm relatively fit (I did 89 push ups this morning). A lot of the women on the dating site seem to think I'm weird (I am very weird), so I get rejected a lot, but some of the women seem to be okay with my weirdness. I get a lot of attention from the Russian ladies very early (until they realize that I'm weird) as soon as I say I'm looking for marriage. If you're looking for marriage, then I'd suggest looking in Russia.

So I'll describe the women briefly:

Woman A (23 years old): She is a hot blond. She is the prettiest of the women I'm chatting to (but that isn't a very big factor, because the other two women are also very pretty) She can speak some English, but prefers to speak Russian because it is easier for her. She sometimes puts a lot of effort into our conversations, like sometimes when I ask her a question about Russia, she will find several articles online to try to answer my question. She had a boyfriend in the past who was very mean to her. My perception of her is that she knows that she wants a boyfriend, so she is going through the motions of trying to get one, but that she is afraid of being hurt again, so that she is very emotionally guarded. She has interesting conversations, but I find it hard to try to make things become more intimate. She makes it clear from her conversations that she'd like to marry and have children, and that she has traditional views of gender roles, which I like.

Woman B (21): I have an easier time talking to this woman than the other two. I enjoy talking to her more than any woman I've met since 2011 (my ex girlfriend). She can read and write English pretty well, although she doesn't speak or hear it that well. I always enjoy our conversations, and she seems to accept my weirdness very well. I've talked about more things with her, and more intimate things with her than the other women. This would ordinarily be enough reason for me to choose her over the other women, but she does not seem to be as serious about marrying and having kids as the other women, which is disappointing to me. Also she is skeptical about long distance relationships (which is probably smart). So it doesn't seem like she is as committed to having the type of relationship I want as the other 2.

If I'm unable to make a decision, I'll probably go with woman B, because she's in St. Petersburg, so if things don't work out, then I'll have lots of other options.

Woman C (20): She is a very religious person. She says on her profile that she is looking for marriage, and she is not afraid of talking about that. She has a very hard time making interesting conversations in letters (emails), so that I end up having to do most of the talking. But eventually we talked on skype, and I enjoyed talking to her much more then. It seems like she has an easier time talking in real time. I guess she is a more spontaneous person. Her English is about the same as woman A's, maybe a little bit worse. She is extremely affectionate. Assuming that her compliments are sincere, then I would imagine that if I married her, she'd be a more devoted and admiring wife than the other 2 women.

So in summary, the way I'm rating these women in my head is how much I enjoy talking to them, and how serious they seem to be about being in a relationship with me. Rating these women for the enjoyment I get from talking to them, they go B, A, C. Rating them on the commitment they seem to place on marriage and children, and on the interest they show in me, they go C, A, B. So yo can see why I am rather torn about this. From what I've seen so far, they all seem like good women, so maybe I could be happy with any of them, and there is no wrong choice. I'm tempted to try to choose as quickly as possible to try to avoid hurting their feelings, but of course it is in my best interest to keep my options open for as long as possible. Woman B and C say that they're virgins by the way, which I think is a good thing, but it doesn't make a big difference to me.

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Post by Jester » May 31st, 2014, 5:40 am

C would make a great wife, if you feel you can cherish and be turned on by her.

B is the best choice, you will have a great life with her.

A is intrigued by you, you could get her for sure, but it' probably not the best fit for YOU, and she senses that.

PS I would suggest coffee dates (ok, "chai" dates) with all three, plus every girl you meet on the streets and in the stores and hotels and restaurants.

OH, and PLEASE keep this thread UPDATED as you travel!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by abcdavid01 » May 31st, 2014, 5:47 am

C, B, A in that order.

Well keep talking to C on Skype to see if she's still interesting.
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