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I am new to this forum, so I don't know where to post this topic.
It seems to me that I am an unattractive man, that my looks are below average.
Here is one of my best pictures:
I am about 30 years old, my height is about 5'9.5-5'10, and I weigh about 145 lbs.
I have never asked about how my looks will rate, but my hunch is that I am about 3-3.5 by looks. This is very frustrating, because American women are very particular when it comes to looks. From what I have seen in US, men's looks are by far number one criterion when it comes to attracting American women. It seems that the top priority for American women in dating and romance is to be with a "hot guy".
For example, I had experienced a very harsh rejection from a hot American woman. She is generally considered to rate 8-8.5 by her looks.
I have been shamed and told "how dare you go so far above your league. How dare you go for someone who looks model beautiful. She probably has hundreds of guys better looking than you hitting on her."
I honestly think that this is unfair and I would like to change this soon. I don't want to lower my standards and date obese women who look like old grannies in their 20s or 30s. I am applying for work and for studying overseas. I would also like to get away from the United States, because I do find superficiality in its culture and too much stress in its corporate life.
However, I know that Hollywood and Facebook are exerting a terribly strong force everywhere in the world. I am afraid that my poor looks will not get me foreign women as well. I am afraid that foreign women will not find me attractive either because of my looks.
I am considering to get some plastic surgeries. I don't like my large protruding ears, and I am hoping to get a surgery that will reduce them. Also, I would like to get a jawline surgery to get a chiseled jaw and a lip implant to get fuller lips. If I would have had money, then I would be ready to get a leg-lengthening surgery to increase my height. But that is too expensive and too painful for me to get.
I am looking to target European women, from both Western Europe and Eastern Europe. My question is as follows: will slender, non-obese European women turn me down because of my looks? Do European women place such importance in a man's looks as much as American women do? Or will I still need to get plastic surgery if I don't want fatties?
Last edited by newbgold on November 11th, 2014, 1:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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most american women are the pickiest women on the planet. they are spoiled and way out of touch with reality. I just got back from a two month trip to Asia and slept with more girls than my last trip outside the matrix.. not sure how they think they are so great when they aren't sweet, aren't petite , don't have the smallest/tightest pussies and have to shave their legs unlike many Asians. And aren't as feminine..especially when their behavior includes being the biggest trash talkers on the planet
You're toying with some bad ideas! I looked at your photo. You look good and natural, no less than average. Attractive American women like the one you posted seem to expect a 6'2" plus with either a cool bad boy thing going or else near model looks.
Yes, go to Europe, Asia, or South America. Your personality will count for a lot more an many countries in those regions. About there cosmetic procedures or leg lengthening surgery here are some specific comments:
Ears: Be careful. If you get your ears to protrude less, it might cause your face too look a bit too long. Your overall appearance might be better with them as they are.
Jawline: Don't do it. It will make your lower face look too bulky. You don't have an extremely tapered face as is and your jawline is fine. Your upper face is not that broad so augmenting your lower face might throw things off in a bad way. An overly bulky lower face might look weird on you.
Leg lengthening; Extremely risky with a long recovery. The major complication rate is still very high and even if you escape that, you can be sure you will suffer some more moderate complications like muscle loss, loss of some athletic ability, etc. Why not instead go to a country where the average male height is 2-4 inches lower than that in the US. Height is totally relative so moving to a place with shorter guys would give you an automatic height boost right out of the box. Another thing I noticed is that girls in many foreign countries are a lot less demanding about height than girls in USA. Many will accept a guy who is their same height or even a bit shorter.
If you must make a cosmetic change, consider perhaps a hair transplant to lower your hairline and bring in your temples. But only do so after you've had your ideal new hairline designed by someone with a great big picture sense of what would make your face more attractive. You can mess around with that idea using photoshop on a computer to see what different hairlines (top and temples) would do to your look.
Seriously, you look fine. Being youthful means your looks generally won't be the problem. It will boil down to your personality and what actions you take to meet the girls you wanna meet and get to know.
I agree with everything Rock said, except about the woman being attractive. Different strokes and all that, but she strikes me as average looking, as do you -- a fairly well-suited pair, just from a looks standpoint. Maybe her facial features might conform more closely to some sort of universal aesthetic ideal, but she looks a bit neurotic, whereas you look pleasant. And you are average height; please ditch the idea of leg lengthening. Get shoe lifts if you're that concerned about your height, but you really don't need to be.
You look a little bit like James Taylor, who has been a major-league babe magnet from 45 years ago when he had long hair to now when he is bald. Rather than the long, lanky thing he has going on, I'd recommend you lift some weights. It will boost confidence, and add 15-20 pounds that you need. Eating a lot when you lift will add some weight to your face, and the ears will come into a nice balance. A bit of focus on dressing won't hurt, especially if you go to Europe, where women frown on the American slob look. Not sure what plaid shirts say these days, but I don't think it's the cool grunge rock statement of 20 years ago.
Really, Rock's right -- you look fine. Decide on the hairline thing -- whether you want to go bald or fight it, and then maximize what you've got with everything else. Your look won't be a problem if you don't allow it to be.
newbgold are you for real or is this a joke? I will assume you are real, here is my quick answer. The problem is not your looks, it's your confidence! You look fine. You are thin and your height is fine. I'm shorter than you and I've been with 8s. You can too! Save your money on all the cosmetic surgery. Get online on an Asian dating site. Start chatting with Southeast Asian women. Buy a plane ticket to the Southeast Asia for a month. You may not like Asian girls now, but you will after you meet a few. Meet as many as possible. Have sex with as many as possible. Then report back to. Let us know what your plans are for your future. I'm sure cosmetic surgery will no long be important to you!
One other bit of information. You look like Neil Skywalker, but with less hair. He wrote a book called "Around the World in 80 Girls." Download the book tonight and start reading it. Start chatting tonight online with SEA girls. Report back to us your progress!
Hey Newbgold, I'd kill to have a body mass index as low as yours I can see that your ego has taken a beating, but you can restore it by taking a trip to Asia, like others have suggested. But try to resist the temptation to sleep around with dozens of girls, you're really asking for trouble if you do that.
You are an average looking man who could get into the above average range by:
-Getting a more flattering haircut, or by going completely bald.
-Getting rid of unflattering plaid shirts like the one in the photo. You need to wear t-shirts with a blazer, solid color dress shirts of high quality with or without a blazer.
-Going to the gym to increase your muscle mass just a wee bit.
-Learn to wear comfortable casual shoes like desert chukka boots or Rockports.
You would be a high value man by sight if you can work on those.
About the red headed girl, yes maybe I was generous in saying she's attractive/above average. I was imagining her as a tall and full figured girl ala Kate Winslet looked in her early 20s (maybe her being a red head automatically made me imagine her as Winslet lol). If she's like that, than she's pretty hot in my book in spite of having a bit of a weird look and under eye hollows which appear premature assuming she's 25-30.
Now if she's petite and shorter, say 5'3" or 5'4", then she falls to average/below average on pure looks in my book. However, even if she's thin and shorter (much less attractive than I imagined), having been raised in USA is enough to make her feel entitled to a hunk type of guy (top 5-10% in looks and height).
Thank you very much for your replies.
I will heed your advice and start working toward better looks and mainly better future.
As for the red-headed woman, she is tall (almost my height) and very slender, and she is 24 years old.
Judging solely from her picture, do you think that she is stuck-up? Does she appear to be a b- or does she seem pleasant?
You mention traveling to Southeast Asia. But what about Eastern Europe?
I am a fluent Russian speaker. Can that help with women in Easter Europe?
The woman looks troubled, confused and beaten down by life, especially for 24. The tired eyes, the half-hearted fake smile -- she's clearly not loving life. Anyone can have a bad day, but this isn't the expression you want to be wearing on a daily basis. Your expression is good, though. Your eyes can be a major strength with women, if you can draw attention away from perceived weaknesses, such as the hairline.
A fluent Russian speaker? You're gold in Russia and eastern Ukraine (though, obviously, watch for flying bullets in eastern Ukraine). Also, during the summer, in vacation places where Russian women congregate in large numbers, such as Sunny Beach, Bulgaria. Sometimes in places like the Czech Republic you'll find middle-aged women who speak some Russian but not English. I wouldn't use it in Poland or the Baltic countries, unless there's no other language to communicate in, simply because of the current tensions with Russia that are being inflamed in those countries. But Russia alone will provide you with all the women you could ever hope for.
Thank you for the reply.
I am beginning to see lately that the golden time of life called youth is getting sandwiched and squeezed, especially in US. On one hand, it takes longer for people to mature and to come of age. On the other hand, people especially women age much faster nowadays. I see lots of women in their late 20s who look like old grannies that gave birth to ten children. Just five years ago, people my age looked like "kids", but now they suddenly look "old". I see lots of Americans who are tired, worn-out, burned-out by life by their late 20s.
As for that woman, she still retains her youth and her beauty, but it is true that she seems tired and unhappy at too early of an age.
I know that Russia would help me solve all my problems with women. But I disagree with Russian politics and I oppose their current political order. Otherwise, I would have gone there in a heartbeat long ago.
I agree with the rest of the responses: you're an average looking guy. Personally, I think that girl is hideous. If she shot you down, she likely has mental problems, in my opinion.
As far as leg lengthening, I considered it a while back (I'm 5'6), but now I think it's ridiculous and would have been a horrible idea. Basically, you would be putting yourself at substantial risk and you will almost definitely have some complications at some point in your life (whether it be during the surgery or arthritis years down the road). If you do one portion of your legs, you will likely not be able to increase more than 3 inches. For all of that pain and money and the risks involved, it's not worth it. If you do decide to go ahead with it, check out the forum makemetaller.org. They have good info on doctors (you definitely do not want to select a doctor randomly). But, personally, I'd rather be sexless for the rest of my life than have my legs broken to gain 3 inches. But that's just me.
I also agree with Rock. When I went to the Philippines (even though I was only there a short time), women responded to me VERY well. I had women flirting with me on the streets of Metro Manila and women that even got flustered talking to me. I had far better responses than the friend that I went with, who is 6'3. I can't say anything about China, but I hear that they're more accepting of height as well.
Western Ukraine is your huckleberry.
Do an internal google search on older HA posts by Ladislav, maybe MacGoogle (?) and others. (Sorry I don't recall the exact names.)
Kathleen Peddicord from "International Living" magazine has also toted "Lviv" as a great low-cost, liveable European city. Google her stuff (not on HA).
You could chick-hunt Ukrainian girls via AFA or whoever, just eliminate the girls whose religion is Russian Orthodox, they will likely be pro-Putin (like me).
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
newbgold, if you speak Russian one of the Russian sites and start chatting up Ukrainian girls. You don't have to get into the politics. Tell the girls you are looking for a serious relationship aka. wife. Date as many as possible. They are going to be eager to leave the Ukraine. Have fun.