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Is sex a need seperate from love?

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Is sex a need seperate from love?

Postby mattyman » Wed Sep 21, 2016 12:16 am

In the same way that the trust and the need to be accepted for who you are is a need?

When people report poor mental health from lack of sex, is it really lack of sex, or is it a lack of something deeper, that people might mistakenly think might be fulfilled by no strings attached sex?

I don't believe that sex on it's own is the ultimate 'need', but more the icing on the cake with someone you trust, you know well and are attracted to for more than pure lust. I think that the belief that more sex with more beautiful women will make you fulfilled is ultimately damaging.

Does lack of sex on its own kill you, or is it loneliness that kills you more? Is sleeping around an coping mechanism to cope with loneliness. Do you believe that 'scoring' with many women will make you feel less lonely and unhappy? It's important to stop and ask yourself.

My concern is a lot of the posts brought-up here are based on the idea that shagging about with randoms is the key to happiness and will solve all your loneliness. The belief that sex on it's own is a need of which unfulfillled, will have the same mental health consequences of loneliness is a belief that I think is erroneous. A lot of justification for promiscuity, mongering and ruining nice girls is based upon this idea. Why does no-one question it?

How come many serial womanizers seem like such miserable, cynical little c**ts? How come many tend to be braggards and still looking for ways to one-up people (if they are so happy and fulfilled)?

I don't believe the base desire for sex is important enough to be prioritised to be the sole goal but each to their own.

Discuss and debate.
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Re: Is sex a need seperate from love?

Postby retiredfrank » Wed Sep 21, 2016 12:41 am

There is certainly no NEED for partner sex, any more than there is a NEED for grade A sirloin steaks for dinner versus beans and rice. Masturbation is almost as good in providing physical pleasure. If you can't/won't masturbate, your body will do the job automatically with wet dreams as necessary.

Partner sex is a luxury, something to focus on when true needs have been satisfied and you still have time, energy and money left over. Or at least that's how a sane man sees things.

Love, on the other hand, is a real need with some men and women, and it is true these people often mistake the need for love with a need for sex.

Other men have little need for love. There's actually a gene for explorer type men, who can't stand living in one place but rather thrive on moving around and do well with extended periods of solitude. Mongering or relationships that don't last long are normal for this type of man. I'm clearly in this group: no fixed residence for past twenty years but rather always living in hotels, never last long in relationships, happy alone for months at a time in the wilderness. A lot of ex-military are like this. Also, a lot of contact technical types in mining industries, who move from job to job in remote areas. When men like this focus on sex during down time, it's because they have nothing else to worry about, so why not focus on sex? I'm retired, so all my time is down time. What time, energy and money I don't spend on other hobbies, I spend on women, mostly thinking about them, sometimes actually physically involved with them. If I wasn't spending time on HA, I'd be researching the latest smartphones. The time has to be spent somehow.

A lot of men are desperate for validation and that is why they are driven to run up their notch count. The audience they are trying to please is in their own head, but they can't see this. That audience is never pleased, no matter what they do, which is why these men are so pathetic.
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Re: Is sex a need seperate from love?

Postby Kradmelder » Wed Sep 21, 2016 4:03 am

It depends and may change during your life. I have no need for relationshits, but do want sex. I'm very happy at the moment with a regular sex partner every 3 weeks or so with no relationshit and no sleep overs. I wasn't always like this. I never liked the singles bar scene and was happier with a partner. But you are never happy tied to a modern woman. You just put in and in and only get sex back. Modern white women have cured me of any desire for more than sex and taught me to see them purely as sex objects. You don't need to be partnered to them for that. Cheaper and more peaceful single. They themselves market themselves like that and don't want to offer anything more. Women have taught me true love is a sick joke which people throw their lives away on.

I have kids to raise which also provide a purpose and bikes satisfy my soul. Unless you know the feeling of being alone far away from anything on a bike in the bush you won't understand.

Also no one is ever truly alone if you have God.

Chasing heifers in pubs and clubs is pointless and boring. Internet dating worse. And usually only mediocre sex. I just line up 1 or 2 that have busy lives and just need a man with a fit strong body once in a while and don't push too hard for more. After a few times such women are on fire in bed.They give the relationshit ultimatum I dump them as no sex is worth all the shit of being tied to a heifer. Only kids are. Even then, probably better to raise kids apart from them if you can afford the cost of 2 households. The price is worth the peace of mind of being away from them.

I don't see notch count of being of any value. Better to have good sex with a regular than 1 time with many. The problem is the regular soon wants to fill the house not just the bed. And turn your house into he'll for you that you don't want to come home. Many women make me not want to come home to my own house. So best they stay out of it and once out the bed keep going out the door. A need to trust Them? Madness. Rather put my head in a lion's mouth and trust it won't bite.
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