Being a White Woman in Japan

[jamesbond]

Interesting video, only 0.3% of women in Japan are white. White women living in Japan are interviewed in this video and they talk about the struggles they have with things like dating and assimilation into Japanese culture.

[Yohan]

It is difficult for me to write any comment, I am not interested in white women coming from somewhere living now in Japan.
Either they find a way by themselves and by the help of their boyfriends etc. to stay - but what I have seen so far, many tried and left and only a few prefer to continue to live in Japan after a few years.

To be honest, most foreign (not all of them are white) women and the stories they are telling about Japan and why they left etc. are just boring to me.

I am not interested in wasting time to listen to such talk, for example

[jamesbond]

It seems like most white women are not getting any attention from men in Japan. These women are not being asked out by Japanese men, these women are lonely, have no social life or love life living in Japan. No wonder why they want to leave Japan.

These women were getting tons of attention from men while they were living in the USA, so they are not used to being ignored by men. I almost feel sorry for these women (not really just kidding).

[MrMan]

It seems like most white women are not getting any attention from men in Japan. These women are not being asked out by Japanese men, these women are lonely, have no social life or love life living in Japan. No wonder why they want to leave Japan.

Who said that? I only listened to the first part of the first video. The one girl had a Japanese boyfriend who, according to her version of it, sounded abusive. Then, apparently, another Japanese boyfriend. She wasn't as pretty as some of the ones in the first video (in the OP).

[Yohan]

It seems like most white women are not getting any attention from men in Japan. These women are not being asked out by Japanese men, these women are lonely, have no social life or love life living in Japan. No wonder why they want to leave Japan.

Who said that? I only listened to the first part of the first video. The one girl had a Japanese boyfriend who, according to her version of it, sounded abusive. Then, apparently, another Japanese boyfriend. She wasn't as pretty as some of the ones in the first video (in the OP).

Living and working in Japan since more than 40 years and working in European related offices in Tokyo since over 30 years I can say, the number of (white or black) foreign women who fit into Japanese life and continue to live in Japan over long time together with a Japanese man is minimal.

I know only a few of them, mostly already elderly couples, the wife is European and the man is Japanese.
On the other side, there are Western (white) men living in Japan permanently with a Japanese wife, not so few of them...

Most foreign women in Japan with Japanese men are Asian women, mainly from China, Korea, Vietnam and Philippines.
There are some statistics about it, foreign (mostly Asian) wives with a Japanese husband outnumber 2:1 foreign men with a Japanese wife.

Most women I met who are a bit foreign looking, but want to stay in Japan/accept Japanese nationality are of mixed race (like my own two daughters) foreign father, Japanese mother.

Only few women so far from abroad, not Asians, who are 100 % black or white, decide to live in Japan and to integrate into Japanese society, even took over Japanese nationality.

One example on Youtube is a Russian woman, Elizaveta, her Japanese is understandable, not so fluent but she can communicate and has obviously no problem to integrate to Japanese way of life. Not sure however if this is a straight woman (likely living with a woman)




From Ukraine, also moved to Japan


Another woman I noticed on Youtube is a black woman, both parents are black, from USA. Looking totally different from Japanese people of course.
Her video is half in Japanese and half in English.

She speaks really fluently Japanese (no accent, native) and English, and her comments are also interesting when she says,
in Japanese: I never felt being excluded in Japan and the first time I felt discrimination was in USA, and in English at the end of the video: So I think it totally depends on you....

[Yohan]

It seems like most white women are not getting any attention from men in Japan. These women are not being asked out by Japanese men, these women are lonely, have no social life or love life living in Japan. No wonder why they want to leave Japan.

Who said that? I only listened to the first part of the first video. The one girl had a Japanese boyfriend who, according to her version of it, sounded abusive. Then, apparently, another Japanese boyfriend. She wasn't as pretty as some of the ones in the first video (in the OP).

These are the usual stories about foreign (white and black) 'lonely' women coming into Japan, often doing some questionable jobs in nightclubs, discos, models, English teachers without qualification, even porn actress etc. and of course they meet their strange Japanese boyfriends who are nothing better than themselves.

Believe me, these foreign women are all gone - often within a few months - not more than one or two years.

----------------------------

For example, this woman is from my own native country, talented, good Japanese, considers herself to be a musician, but obviously back now to Europe

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Q_aQ ... Q/featured

An important point is about 'distance' - you have to decide, either - or. It is difficult to live in two countries far away from each other at the same time.
You cannot have it in both ways unless you are really a very rich person who can pay for frequent airfare and keeping a home in both countries.

For Western women, life is easier in Europe or in Northern America compared to Japan.

About myself as a man, I never came back to Europe .... My life in Europe was not that nice, so why should I go back from where I come from?
It really depends on the individual... everybody is different.

[MrMan]

It seems like most white women are not getting any attention from men in Japan. These women are not being asked out by Japanese men, these women are lonely, have no social life or love life living in Japan. No wonder why they want to leave Japan.

Who said that? I only listened to the first part of the first video. The one girl had a Japanese boyfriend who, according to her version of it, sounded abusive. Then, apparently, another Japanese boyfriend. She wasn't as pretty as some of the ones in the first video (in the OP).

I suspected Japanese men did not typically marry white women, but does that mean they have no interest in them? Wouldn't some of them want to 'hook up' with white women? What about dating? I'm not sure if that happens a lot, but it seems like some Asian men like white women's looks.

With white women being assertive, a lot of them being feminist, and the difficulty connecting and communicating, that could prevent these kinds of relationships. It also seems like a lot of expats that go overseas to work are men.

I have not spent time in Japan, just transit. In Korea, there were couples with a white man and local woman. In the US, white women with Korean men is rare. I have not seen that except I have a cousin who married an adopted Korean man who was raised by American parents.

Out of the dozens of mixed couples I have seen with Indonesians in Indonesia and the US in 20+ years, I can only think of three where the woman was white.

Part of it is the foreignness and language issues probably detracts from the Asian (cultural) coming off as 'cool' or charming enough. A girl can speak with a thick accent and have difficulty communicating, and if she looks cute, it is just endearing. If a man cannot communicate well, it usually does not help. Some women like a French accent, but overall, it's a negative. White women tend to be taller than Indonesian men, another negative since women like taller men and a lot of men want their women to be shorter, too. Then the white women tend to be too assertive, outspoken, etc., when a lot of Asian cultures want them to be a bit more demure. If parental approval is essential for marriage, a man's mother might be skeptical of a white woman's ability to fulfill the wifely role.

I suspect there are more male expats. The kind of courage if you will ('courage' might be an exaggeration) to go live in a foreign country away from relatives is probably more common among men. Among those who do it, being willing to do it long term is probably more common among men.

In the US, a traditional man opens the door for women, carries boxes for them. Some Europeans and Americans were raised thinking they need to be romantic and express their feelings of love, etc. I spoke with a Chinese women who said her (Chinese) husband said, "I love you" once, right before he proposed. Some Asian women tend to be more traditional and cook food, clean, wash laundry for the man. And western men might be more inclined to help around the house. So there are a lot of positives for the Asian woman marrying a man who shows a bit of chivalry and white man who gets a woman who might be more traditional in some ways. I am not sure if all that applies to Japan.

I can think of two white women who were working in Indonesia when I got there in my mid-20's. They were about my age and actually went to school with a co-worker at my last job. It was funny. When we first met, we knew someone in common. These girls spent their late 20's and early 30's over there. They were both raised overseas in different countries, too, so they were probably a bit more adventurous and less connected with the homeland. One was pretty, on the slightly pudgy side of your standard optimal range for build. But she looked like she would chunk up in old age. The other was probably the type some men would find attractive. I don't think they ever showed interest in Indonesian men and I was not aware of Indonesian men expressing interest. One of them liked a Chinese expat that a lot of other girls seemed to go for. The other liked mediterranean-looking men. As far as I know, bot of them are single. They seemed like really nice girls. One was probably a little on the assertive side, but not excessively so and not rude.

[jamesbond]

This woman lived in Japan for 10 years, never met any men (she stated this in another video on her channel) and had almost no friends at all and was extremely lonely. She moved to Japan after college at age 22 and moved back to the US at the age of 32.

She taught English as a second language for a couple of years then did voice over work for TV and radio commercials (she mentioned this in a previous video). She states that the main reason she is leaving Japan is to find a husband and start a family. She apparently had no chance of that happening if she continued to live in Japan.

[MrMan]

This woman lived in Japan for 10 years, never met any men (she stated this in another video on her channel) and had almost no friends at all and was extremely lonely. She moved to Japan after college at age 22 and moved back to the US at the age of 32.

She taught English as a second language for a couple of years then did voice over work for TV and radio commercials (she mentioned this in a previous video). She states that the main reason she is leaving Japan is to find a husband and start a family. She apparently had no chance of that happening if she continued to live in Japan.

@Tsar, if you could go for a 32-year-old, maybe she is a virgin. Hmm, the video is old, so she might be older than Tsar. She's got a 'never had a boyfriend' video from a few years back.

Here is the video, and maybe it would be encouraging to Tsar.

[Yohan]

This woman lived in Japan for 10 years, never met any men (she stated this in another video on her channel) and had almost no friends at all and was extremely lonely. She moved to Japan after college at age 22 and moved back to the US at the age of 32.

She taught English as a second language for a couple of years then did voice over work for TV and radio commercials (she mentioned this in a previous video). She states that the main reason she is leaving Japan is to find a husband and start a family. She apparently had no chance of that happening if she continued to live in Japan.

Whenever I hear such tearful BS-stories from Western women, most of them from USA and UK and especially from those who are now in Japan, about that they have no friends, cannot find a boyfriend, are so lonely and so on I can only say, that I am highly mistrusting to believe that - no compassion at all from my side. It is not because she CANNOT find a boyfriend - it is because she does NOT WANT a boyfriend.

This woman does not understand that not the others around her are the problem, SHE is the problem.

Here in Japan and same situation in Korea, there are many more local men looking for a long-term relationship with a female than local women looking for a long-term relationship with a man.

While still living in Europe I can say I NEVER met a young woman who was 'lonely' - not even one time. USA is likely even worse for men who are looking for a serious relationship with a female.

OK, anyway, it seems she is gone, back to USA.
This is the last BS-video from her, 2 years ago... and I know why no Japanese man wants her.

The best hug ever! A love that never ends!
Be encouraged for you are loved ❤
Everything you need is found at the cross of Jesus Christ ✝

[Yohan]

22 and STILL never had a boyfriend! | Jazmyn Glitzy

Wazzaaaammmm! This is a video on my nonexistent love life! Well... it's a part 2 to a video that I made 2 years ago. Yes, I'm 22 and Yes, I still havent had a serious relationship. Is it me? Are my standards too high? Let me know down below!

OK, this thread is about lonely white women in Japan, but it seems women are lonely everywhere regardless their race and their looks.
As I said before, I do not believe one word what these women are telling on their videos.

They are alone by their own choice. I do not accept all this BS-talks where are all the good men etc. etc.

Men in general are alone, because they cannot give what women want from them - many women are very choosy, highly materialistic, asking for too much, expecting too much, seriously overrating themselves...

[MrMan]

This woman lived in Japan for 10 years, never met any men (she stated this in another video on her channel) and had almost no friends at all and was extremely lonely. She moved to Japan after college at age 22 and moved back to the US at the age of 32.

She taught English as a second language for a couple of years then did voice over work for TV and radio commercials (she mentioned this in a previous video). She states that the main reason she is leaving Japan is to find a husband and start a family. She apparently had no chance of that happening if she continued to live in Japan.

Whenever I hear such tearful BS-stories from Western women, most of them from USA and UK and especially from those who are now in Japan, about that they have no friends, cannot find a boyfriend, are so lonely and so on I can only say, that I am highly mistrusting to believe that - no compassion at all from my side. It is not because she CANNOT find a boyfriend - it is because she does NOT WANT a boyfriend.

This woman does not understand that not the others around her are the problem, SHE is the problem.

Here in Japan and same situation in Korea, there are many more local men looking for a long-term relationship with a female than local women looking for a long-term relationship with a man.

While still living in Europe I can say I NEVER met a young woman who was 'lonely' - not even one time. USA is likely even worse for men who are looking for a serious relationship with a female.

OK, anyway, it seems she is gone, back to USA.
This is the last BS-video from her, 2 years ago... and I know why no Japanese man wants her.

Which one is it? She doesn't want a boyfriend or no Japanese man wants her? Your post seems a bit self-contradictory in that regard.

There was a comment about Christ in the title of the video. Christians are a minority in Japan. Several years ago a woman told me there are more women than men in Japanese churches. Many Christians who are serious about their faith want to marry other Christians. It is a big issue living your day to do life with your husband or wife. It has to do with how you live, how you raise children, what you do with your money. I heard there are a lot of Japanese women in churches there who are single wanting a Christian husband. It is probably a better scenario for the expat husband looking for a Christian Japanese wife.

If she is traditional, she may want the man to ask her out, too. Do many Japanese men want foreign wives there? How does the potential mother-in-law feel about this? I know a Japanese man who married a Filipina and the relationship with the mother-in-law was always a concern.

[Yohan]

deleted

[Yohan]

Which one is it? She doesn't want a boyfriend or no Japanese man wants her? Your post seems a bit self-contradictory in that regard.

I see hardly any difference.

1 - She doesn't want a boyfriend
She rejects every man approaching her - She will be alone

2 - No Japanese man wants her
Why do they reject her, despite they are looking for a female friend? Despite Japanese men who are living with a foreign woman outnumber Japanese women who are living with a foreign man 2 : 1? Anyway, she will end up to be alone.

This means SHE is the problem and not these Japanese men - what is the reason? What I have seen so far, many Western women after arrival in Japan soon start complaining - how bad is all and everything in Japan, how much is life better for women in her own country...
As I told you in a previous comment, Western women often leave and only a few decide to stay in Japan, I gave you also some Youtube-link of a few who decided to stay..

There was a comment about Christ in the title of the video. Christians are a minority in Japan. Several years ago a woman told me there are more women than men in Japanese churches. Many Christians who are serious about their faith want to marry other Christians. It is a big issue living your day to do life with your husband or wife. It has to do with how you live, how you raise children, what you do with your money. I heard there are a lot of Japanese women in churches there who are single wanting a Christian husband. It is probably a better scenario for the expat husband looking for a Christian Japanese wife.

No official statistic about religion in Japan, just considered as a private matter.
It is true that more than 80 or even 90 percent of all Japanese are in some way Shinto/Buddhism orientated. Usually because of their family grave they have a connection to a certain Buddhist temple and due to birth and marriage and some local festivals they have a connection to Shinto Shrines. Both religions do not exclude each other and their buildings are often sharing the same landplot.

In Japan Christianity of any form (not over 1 million people totally) is often related to the region, like Catholics you will find around Nagasaki, Protestants you will find around Yamaguchi - but living in Japan since over 40 years, I can really say, this is a private matter even within the family, nobody will care about the others what religion they choose or if they decide not to join any religion at all.

I am an atheist, my wife is Presbyterian, my parents in law were followers of Shingon Buddhism, my brother-in-law too, my older daughter is also very Buddhist related, but do not ask me to which teachings. My younger daughter living in a rural area is much into Shinto.

I visited the Presbytarian Church many times for Christmas for fun while still living in Tokyo, as the Santa Claus for the children must be a 'white foreigner', despite the priest and his wife know, I am atheist but they always invited me and never tried to convert me.

Here in Okayama I noticed a small Buddhist Tendai Temple, while riding my motorcycle outside of the city and I stopped looking around and the Buddhist priest and his wife noticed me and invited me into their home nearby. My wife and I during our holiday trips by car in Japan always visit temples and shrines despite we both have no religious connection to Buddhism and Shintoism...

If she is traditional, she may want the man to ask her out, too. Do many Japanese men want foreign wives there? How does the potential mother-in-law feel about this? I know a Japanese man who married a Filipina and the relationship with the mother-in-law was always a concern.

I don't think, ordinary Japanese parents care so much about that as long as the foreign wife tries to integrate herself somehow. However nowadays in the cities most young couples do not want to live with their parents and rent a room somewhere away from them and in case of divorce they own nothing to each other, just sign a form in the ward office and move on...

In rural areas in Japan, on smaller islands which are only into fishing, in forest areas etc. now are often only old people living, and the daughter is moving away to the cities, prefers a more comfortable life - but to be honest life-style in Japanese rural areas is often really primitive however a Japanese young farmer is anything else but poor - they often have a fairly good income.

The oldest son of a Japanese farmer family cannot so easily disappear and he cannot find any Japanese wife as there is none living in such areas.
There are even TV documentaries going on in Japan about this strange situation. There are Japanese small villages where foreign wives outnumber the Japanese women living there -
If the foreign wife is willing to stay and to integrate, there is no problem ....many are from China, Korea, Vietnam, Philippines and even from SriLanka.

Asian, non-Japanese women, are generally welcome in Japanese remote areas if they are willing to stay

For example, this foreign woman is in Japan living in a rural area since more than 14 years.

https://english.kyodonews.net/news/2020 ... llage.html

[jamesbond]

Here is that girl that lived in Japan for 10 years walking through Shibuya and at the end of the video she goes into a store that has sex toys!