Too eccentric for a relationship

[Lucas88]

@Winston and other eccentric HA'ers,

Do you ever think that you might be too eccentric for a relationship?

I'm definitely eccentric to the nines - I've been told that I'm eccentric by many people including teachers and MMA training partners - and, because of this, I feel that I'm wholly incapable of maintaining a long-term relationship.

First of all, due to how much of an outlier I am in terms of my interests and psychological constitution, the number of people to whom I can relate on a deeper level is rather small and the number of women is even smaller. Sure, I can fake it for a while at regular social events and make small talk about football, pop music (in my case, only retro pop music) and whatever else normies tend to talk about, but very few are the people with whom I can form a genuine friendship. The percentage of women with whom I could realistically enjoy true companionship hovers just north of zero. Let's be honest, most women offer mostly boring conversation and tedious drama. In 99% of cases, the intellectual stimulation (or any other kind of stimulation other than sexual) simply isn't there.

Second, even if I did get into a relationship with a reasonably interesting girl, I probably wouldn't even know what to do. How would I realistically live with another person? I'm so accustomed to having my own space, following my own routine and doing my own thing. How would I act when certain situations arise? I don't have a clue how to deal with other people most of the time and can't cope with people's bullshit drama. I lived with my Peruvian ex-girlfriend for about 6 month the first time around and then about 5 more months the second time and both times the whole thing just wore me out to the point where I just couldn't deal with that shit anymore. I'm just not built for being with people. Constantly being with somebody else and having to deal with their needs and oftentimes unreasonable drama overwhelms me. I seriously need my own space. Any form of cohabitation is out of the question.

I'm under the impression that eccentric men aren't well-suited to normal relationships, especially with normal women. In most cases, the compatibility isn't there to begin with, and then, on top of that, many eccentric men have trouble adapting to the demands of a relationship.

Winston seems to want to find love with a Chinese woman but what he doesn't seem to realize is that he's probably far too eccentric for 99.9% of women. Even more so for Chinese and other East Asian women who tend to be extremely conformist. Winston, realistically, how many Chinese women who you meet are seriously going to be interested in going alien hunting with you, theorizing about the nature of ghosts, watching videos about conspiracy theories, or having lengthy discussions about lost civilizations, the matrix and NPCs? Guys like you and I are far too eccentric for most women. We come across as too "out there" for their sensitivities and we at the same time find them too basic and boring.

Your thing is doing far-out research, presenting it to the world and leading a fringe online movement - something that only an extreme eccentric and outlier like yourself could do. That's probably the role which the matrix or your higher self has assigned to you and what you're here to do. Having a normal relationship probably isn't in line with your role.

Some men are just too eccentric and unrelatable to the vast majority of people to have a normal relationship. Just look at Friedrich Nietzsche, Nicola Tesla, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo and other extreme outliers.

I accept that I'm probably never going to have a normal relationship and that I don't have the mental resources to deal with one. That's why I'm more interested in freedom - freedom to be as eccentric as I like - and why I'm more or less obligated by fate to pursue only FWB type arrangements for the satisfaction of my masculine needs.

[gsjackson]

Yes, and I'm afraid it only gets more so as you get older and go your own potty, idiosyncratic way. And especially if you have an interest in truth, which scares the hell out of (most Americans, anyway). There just aren't enough points in common, unless you get extraordinarily lucky. Now, if you were, say, a Christian, that provides an operational framework for a functional relationship, as long as you stay in the designated terminology and behavior patterns. Maybe New Age and other subcultures can function the same way, though I think Christianity would be the best bet because the women sees herself as indentured to God and to you. But if you want a relationship based on truth, well, Billy Joel said it best -- "honesty is such a lonely word." He goes ahead and marries them anyway --major babes in his case, but he's on his fourth.

[kangarunner]

I lived with my Peruvian ex-girlfriend for about 6 month the first time around and then about 5 more months the second time and both times the whole thing just wore me out to the point where I just couldn't deal with that shit anymore. I'm just not built for being with people. Constantly being with somebody else and having to deal with their needs and oftentimes unreasonable drama overwhelms me. I seriously need my own space. Any form of cohabitation is out of the question.

One thing is that when you find the right girl it can be a real joy to grow together and experience life together.

I don't think you're too eccentric for a relationship. I think you're saying that living with a woman 24/7 is too much for you.

That's why the term "man cave" was invented. We need a place to go where we can be alone.

What about if you both lived in a house where you had your own spaces?

What if the girl lived separately from you but you were still both in a long term relationship eh?

Also you said others have called you "eccentric". I've been told I'm weird many times by my own friends. And yet, they're still friends with me. When I lived in the US I thought I was so weird that I would never get a real girlfriend. Then I went to Asia and the girls were all over me and wanted a relationship.