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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
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My friend Steve sent me this comparison of dating profiles of American vs. Foreign women that reveal a huge difference in their attitude which says it all. Below are excerpts from the sample profiles he collected. His comments are in parentheses.
Note: His comments were in red in the version he sent me. To see them in red, go here:
http://www.happierabroad.com/DatingProfilesComparison.htm Otherwise, look for them in parentheses below.
Sample American Woman Dating profiles
I have somewhat cherry picked the below examples but Iâ€™d guess they represent at least 30-40% of American lady profiles. There is no better way to really know what Western woman want than by looking at their online dating profiles.
Note the DEMANDING ATTITUDES, a perverse negativity, even foul language, judgmentalness, hard to please, most have a long list of demands, some even show disdain for men referring to some men as â€œBull shitters, creeps, and stalkersâ€�. A foreign woman will never talk about men this way nor curse. In American woman profiles, you repeatedly see the wordsâ€�must know how to treat a ladyâ€�. Right away this phrase tells you she is unhappy with the way most men have treated her, why else the need to even say it? Soft femininity in woman of America is hard to find if it exists anymore at all. Think how hard it is to have a successful relationship with hard to please and demanding attitudes like this. Just about every guy will end up disappointing these ladies eventually. Almost no one will be good enough for her in the long run. Now we can begin to understand why the divorce rate in America and the Western nations is the highest in the entire world running at 55-60%. These attitudes make it difficult for a long term harmonious relationship to exist.
On top of all this - On dating sites that allow ladies to choose a min incomes option, most American ladies have minimum income requirements of $40K on up, many $60k to $100K. It is interesting to see how foreign born ladies now living in the USA almost never list any minimum income requirement on their profiles!!! Foreign ladies NEVER do nor do foreign ladies ever reference anything to do with a manâ€™s career and his money such as â€œmust be financially stableâ€�
SAMPLES: My comments are in Red
- I find that writing a gigantic paragraph here about myself doesn't spare me from meeting bullshitters, so what's the point right?I'm currently single & am lookin to chill so hit me up =D show me wat yur all about. show me wat yur all about, u might be able to prove me wrong (Ive never seen a foreign lady curse. They are too classy for that. TV series such as the apprentice, Jersey shore, and the bad girls club show how woman are becoming today. The apprentice is full of woman who drop f bombs and other foul language and stick fingers in peopleâ€™s face when angrily telling them off. Absolutely no class compared to foreign ladies who are cultured and classy)
- I am seeking a confident, strong man who knows his way around the world. You must be smart, muscular, sexy, funny, a little****, attentive, dedicated, full of energy, well connected with lots of friends, charming, great laugh, great voice, proud, humble, giving, in charge. You must also be a great conversationalist and want to talk to each other every day. (Demands galore, what are the odds this woman can ever be pleased with anyone?)
- I am looking for someone who is funny and knows how to treat a lady. He has to know how to carry on a conversation. Anything else please feel free to ask!
- Hi. I am looking for a guy who knows how to treat a girl.
- Hi! I am newly single and like to be spoiled, I'm used to being spoiled, and I need to be spoiled again! I like to dance... I like to show off... I like to PARTY! I am not interested in boys. I want a MAN who knows how to treat a sexy lady like a lady. (At least she admits her gold digger ways. In addition, the old saying â€œgirls just want to have funâ€� rings true here in the states. Contrarily, you will notice that 99% of the Foreign ladies profiles are only looking for serious relationships. Serial dating and hook up is how the American culture trains men and woman to be)
- I'm a very driven woman and have had problems finding an equally driven man. I'm not saying I 100% know where I'm going in my life - I think that's the fun of it, not knowing exactly what you might be doing in 5 years. I do, however, value stability and I'm one of the most responsible people I know. (â€œValue stabilityâ€� = code word for looking for a guy with money. â€œHaving problems finding a equally driven manâ€� = Code phrase that really means having problems finding a man with a lot of moneyâ€�. This is the typcial obsession of focusing on a manâ€™s career and money which is completely absent with Foreign woman.)
- I don't need a guy who scares easily. You need to be mature and confident in yourself and me or at least be able to communicate what you're thinking! And please be financially stable. (Need I say more?)
- I'm looking for a guy without kids and preferably at least 6'0 tall and established in his career (same perverse focus on career and MONEY)
- I'm really considering to delete this account. I'm very selective when it comes to finding my long life companion, and I'm not liking what I see on this site! Perhaps, you can prove me wrong?!?.... Most men, are so insecure! a big turn off for me!... ( Maybe because you are so masculine and domineering just like a man. Feminism has taught woman how to behave and be like men) After all, great confidence leads you towards any success in life!
- I am looking for a non creepy, non stalker man (this is not too uncommon, in the West women have been conditioned to view many men as predators. This fear and disdain towards men is non existent PERIOD overseas) who is not looking for a one night stand, though building a future and wants to share it with someone special, drop me a line and maybe we have some substancial things in common.
- I am not looking for someone to complete my life, rather compliment it. I am very sarcastic and the person I am with must be able to handle that. I want someone that challenges my fears and dislikes. (hmm, she needs to be challenged? Perhaps a normal plain ole good guy isnâ€™t enough to keep her interest. How long will it take for her to feel bored with her man, or if married, divorce him)
- I am looking for someone who has a direction that they are headed in life. Someone who has a stable career path...that way there is security while being adventurous in other parts of their lives. (same perverse focus and obsession with career and money)
- Hi guys! I have been in Dallas since 2001, and have found that despite the fact that there are a lot of great people here it's really difficult to find a "real" man. I am looking for a man who doesn't always find the need to take more time getting ready to go out than I do; a guy who can occasionally fix things; someone who is not afraid of the gym and who enjoys sports. One of my biggest turn-ons is a guy who knows how to open a door for a lady. (More demands)
- I have been very career driven and as you can get from my subject line, picky. I mean if you are going to be with somebody, then you need to make sure it's the right person and believe me I've chosen some bad. (Yea, no one will ever be good enough for you). If you want to talk, please let me know up front if you can't pay your bills (Perverse obsession and focus on money again), because I'm not going to be a sugar momma. I'm not your typical Dallas girl, but I do shop at Neimans and I like nice stuff. (Yea, we figured that. You just need a guy who can afford to help you with that)
- if you are one who cannot accept or is willing to take NO for an answer at times.. then don't waste your time little less my time... One other thing... Nothing upsets me more than to be referred to as GIRL!!!!! (Boy, what a gem this one is. Im sure the guys are lining up to be with this one)
Samples of Filipina profiles and real emails I received
What stands out different from the American profiles is there are never any DEMANDS. In fact, the opposite is true, they more often humbly say they are looking for someone who will accept them for who they are. I find this so endearing. There is a refreshing INNOCENCE to these ladies profiles unlike anything you will find with Western lady profiles. Also note the humbleness, the non judgementalness, spiritualness, focus on faith and family (i.e God Bless) , attitude of thankfulness the general positivity and wishes of good will, femininity, value and respect they place on marriage and a positive view of men (no mention of guys being creeps or stalkers like you sometimes see in some American woman profiles). I did not need to cherry pick these samples because 99% of Filipinas profiles and emails are EXACTLY like this below. Though these are Filipina samples, the Russian and Latin profiles are not too far behind in these ways.
SAMPLES: My own comments are in Red
- If i submit myself to any man i will be with him till my last breath (you will NEVER see a statement on any Western womanâ€™s profile)
- Im looking for a man who will accept me for who I am. I hope I find it here. God Bless
- halu.. i saw u here and i click it. and u know what, its not my intention to read all, but as i read your profile i try to read all until the last word. and i like coz you saw whats nice with us being filipina coz i am a filipina too. and now that i wrote a message to you i dont expect anything that you will like me coz i am 20 years old (Foreign cultures do not see large age gaps of 20+ years as perverse, rather they often seek it. You will get as many 19 to 22 year olds as 30+ year olds emailing you on most foreign dating sites) That and i know your looking for older than that.and i think, u can find a nice girl to be your future wife. coz me even me i am also looking for a man who could give a serious relationship...every one of us look only for happiness and to have a good family. only i can say is just i hope we could find a good partner in life.. (How sweet to say) .now, im doing business and hope to find my good partner in life...anyway take care and i like your outlook in life..god bless
- I hope God will provide you a woman that perfectly love you for the rest of life, till death, (Typical comment from foreign ladies, they are serious about relationships and really do see marriage as FOREVER) and can make you proud of.
- I thank u for taking an effort to viewed my profile (How humble and gracious. Ive NEVER in 20 years of being on American dating sites had a American woman say that) it is my pleasure to know u more if u are willing to get to know me..i am a baptist too and i found out that u are a christian..hoping to hear from u soon...take care and God bless
- im just a simple girl who dream to have a happy family.i need someoneone who also need me (I find this endearing, and it is true, foreign women NEED men. American ladies just want men to simply complement them. For me, I prefer a lady to need me. One article I found on relationships at yahoo news said â€œOne of the most devastating ideas of the last generation was that needing or depending upon another person is a sign of weakness. The opposite is true. The inability to need is a sign of weakness -- you are afraid to relinquish power or afraid to be hurtâ€�.)
- Hi! Im Theresa from Philippines,26 years of age, single no child..looking for a man to be with,a man who can marry me and bring me where he is.,a man who can be trusted and have word of honor,having dignity and who believe in Jesus Christ as personal saviour.. (Need I say more? Is this an admirable and honorable woman or what?)
- I appreciate I have this good chance to meet you on this site. (More humbleness and appreciativeness) I wish the man I love with a kind heart and he is tender to his love. I will bring all my love to build our happy family if we love each other someday. (Note the focus on the dream of a happy and committed marriage and family. Ive never once received an email or seen a profile from an American lady saying anything remotely close to this. Foreign ladies are serious about relationships/and are marriage focused, while Americans tend to be casual hook up focused.) I think it is really a fate that I can contact with you. I wish you can give me a chance to know you more.
- Hello Steve..how are you? Such an honor and appreciative to know about your sides of looking a Filipina because of our beliefs and culture. And that is true..We really value the essence of true happy family. And that's what i really dream of. I am here honestly to look for a man. Someone that I can share my entire life.
- hoping to meet a guy who is real, honest & strong enough to reveal his flaws inspite of who he really is. (WOW! Here is a woman who wants you to be you, accepts you as you are, weaknesses and insecurities and all. This is unlike American women who repeatedly state that they are only looking for guys who are confident) No dramas & without pretentions, because im not looking for a perfect guy here. (but American woman are) just a right guy, whom man enough to be His own self.. & a guy who valued family.
- hi, im newly here in CB and i register here bec. this is the only way to search for my prince to be in future. i hope someday and somehow that person would accept me.i haven't got that look u want but i can assure you that i am a sweet lady and a caring person (More humbleness. I havenâ€™t ever seen any American woman dating profile humbly stating how she may not be pretty but,â€¦..etcâ€�)
- iam honest,faithful and chubby one iam waiting to someone with a good heart and willing to accept who I am and what i am.
- HEL0000 a beautiful ^"rose from the Philippines, , , iam a friendly loving filipina ..Looking for a friend to be my best friend..im not beautiful but im faithful, a sweet and smiling person who truly i am a simple woman who has a happy disposition in life.. even the simplest things for others could make me happy.. (Donâ€™t expect the average Western woman to be so easily pleased) hope someone could do it for me.. Godbless.. *kiss
- I have no preference in looking for long term partner as long as he will accept me.of who i am and what iam.and not judge mental about my situation. (trust me, a Western woman will judge you of your situation, like, not making enough money for the lifestyle she wants) i believe that a man with kind hearted and open minded well deserve my warmest and sincere relationship with respect. im here in this site to fine my life time partner.not play a game here.
- look for serious relationship leading to marriage
- I have dreamed of having a family of my own; and wishing that through this site i be able to met my special someone.
- I am looking for a person who is searching for true and genuine love not just physical attributes of a person
- Hi to everyone,my name is Edna,I'm looking for a guy who value the relationship especially on marriage...I am honest,caring,affectionate, loving,trustworthy and a one man woman. I am seriously seeking a man to be my partner whom i spend the rest of my life.A man who is devoted and dedicated...A man whos heart and mind are open to others...I believe that relationship become a successful one through these 3things which is LOVE,TRUST AND RESPECT...f you are interested send me an email then let see what happen...thank you for reading my profile,God bless! (Ive never seen an Western lady profile saying â€œthank you for reading my profileâ€�. Any forms of humblness just arenâ€™t part of any Western ladies psyche or vocabulary).
- Hi' im here looking for my soulmate and he is willing to love me for the rest of his life and willing to marry me, about me i am a good person, honest, affectionate and understanding...
- I'm really just simple, really values life and goodness. I'm looking for a man who will love me of who i am and who i am not. I prefer mature man coz i want to learn from them. (They really do prefer much older men in their cultures unlike here in the US) I'm looking for long lasting relationship. If i find the man of my dreams...I love him everyday and every night when we are together. He will be the KING of my heart..
- To love another person is to see the face of God.
It is to care, understanding, support, trust. In love your second
part becomes an inherent part of your life. What about me?
I'm cheerful, kind, attractive Lady, outgoing and sociable. I enjoy
life and would like to meet a nice Gentleman to share my life.
I Value: Good manners, putting your family first.
- im here sincere for lifetime relationship leads to marriage,im not playing games and not wasting time in here. i dont want let me wait for nothing im not here just for fun only,im so serious looking for be my husband,ready to settle down
- I am simple woman.im good..loving and caring understanding honest.most of all God fearing..
- im just a simple lady who wants simple things in life. im just poor but im not a scammer and not here for money. i joined this site hoping to find my destiny here. im seriously looking for a relationship which will lead to marriage.
- honestly the reasno i am here is that i am looking forv a serious lover,,a serious partner,,which is i am here for searching a man of my life to be my husband tell death,,
- Hi Steve. I've read your profile it makes smile and happy. Thank you very much for appreciating my culture. I love that to you. Thank you for lifting us up. I hope to read other profile same as yours. You are right, we Filipina are very humble, friendly and we are very hospitable to welcome foreigners in our country. Most of us taught by our parents to become a good woman. We don't have much but the character learned from parents are more gold. (She is absolutely correct) And most of all, we have the Lord Jesus in our heart and in our life. That's the most important here on earth. I hope you enjoy your visit here in the Philippines. I hope and pray someday to visit your country and learn from your cultures. Have a nice day and God bless you. (Ive never received an email from a American woman where she ended her email in such a uplifting positive way. Feminism has erased every ounce of softness and humblness that once was common place with American woman back in the 50â€™s )
- i'm sending you this message because i'm looking for a man who will marry me in the future i'm looking for a serious relationship of course, i have no boyfriend right now and in my age i want to have children because i'm not getting any younger anymore,and i'm so tired of being single you know..i'm just trying and hoping that i will find a man in this website..i'm hoping your response then..
- hello everyone! .i hope everybody who joined FH has good intentions of being here...I'm 30 years old and currently waiting and looking for my love, my bestfriend, and my buddy..... Like few others who joined FH, i am looking for my prince and my bestfriend. .i want to see myself living with my own family, going home with a husband to kiss me on the forehead, going home seeing a child running towards his parents to cuddle, and i would give back my utmost love to make our home happy and peaceful...rich with love and trust to each other as we grow older. Most of the time, im at home cooking for my parents/family (How often will you see this with an American woman?)......im an operations manager of a US company for events and exhibitions. i am a god-fearing person, honest...committed to relationship..responsible....and I have this love inside me..that i want to share with you soon...and show with the rest of the world. .
- Iâ€™m looking for someone who is a ready to love.....a responsible guy, (responsible to them means being a good family man and working 40 hours a week, whatever job you have, even if its at Wal mart). who has visions about getting into relationship. ...a god fearing person....who deeply knows the true meaning of love and commitment. ...a funny man who would bring us both to smile everyday........and who values his own family....and not hurt his family at any point of time.......i love to cuddle lots so i guess you would have to bear with me.......hope to meet a genuine better man...a loving angel out there.
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