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The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.
LET’S START WITH THE MOMENT I realized I was already a loser, which was just after I was more or less told that I was destined to become one.
I’d been summoned to an editor’s office at the Globe Magazine with the old “We have a story we think you’d be perfect for.” This is how editors talk when they’re about to con you into doing something you don’t want to do.
Here was the pitch: We want you to write about how middle-aged men have no friends.
Excuse me? I have plenty of friends. Are you calling me a loser? You are.
The editor told me there was all sorts of evidence out there about how men, as they age, let their close friendships lapse, and that that fact can cause all sorts of problems and have a terrible impact on their health.
told the editor I’d think about it. This is how reporters talk when they’re trying to get out of something they don’t want to do. As I walked back to my desk in the newsroom — a distance of maybe 100 yards — I quickly took stock of my life to try to prove to myself that I was not, in fact, perfect for this story.
First of all, there was my buddy Mark. We went to high school together, and I still talk to him all the time, and we hang out all the . . . Wait, how often do we actually hang out? Maybe four or five times a year?
And then there was my other best friend from high school, Rory, and . . . I genuinely could not remember the last time I’d seen him. Had it already been a year? Entirely possible.
There were all those other good friends who feel as if they’re still in my lives because we keep tabs on one another via social media, but as I ran down the list of those I’d consider real, true, lifelong friends, I realized that it had been years since I’d seen many of them, even decades for a few.
By the time I got back to my desk, I realized that I was indeed perfect for this story, not because I was unusual in any way, but because my story is very, very typical. And as I looked into what that means, I realized that in the long term, I was heading down a path that was very, very dangerous.
For more: https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/20 ... ost_Viewed
“The wise man knows that it is better to sit on the banks of a remote mountain stream than to be emperor of the whole world.” -- Zhuangzi
''Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.'' -- Thoreau
There are a few men on here who fit this description. Not because all women are rotten, jews, feminism, or anything else; just their bitter nasty personalities that cannot be happy even with themselves. The majority of men in the real world have women (even if they went abroad for them), hobbies, circles of friends they do things with, children etc. No jew or women or feminism keeps them in misery or poverty. There is a big difference between men who don't WANT a woman of their race (but have had such women before and can get women of other races) and those that CAN'T get a woman of their race (or probably any race) because there is something not quite right with them. Some don't even have men friends.That should be a clear warning they are heading to permanent loneliness because they are what this article calls them and refuse to address the real issue.