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Why are nonconformists more open/friendly to strangers than conformists?

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Winston
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Why are nonconformists more open/friendly to strangers than conformists?

Post by Winston » March 28th, 2012, 12:44 pm

Hi all,
I was talking to Eurobrat about this last night.

Why is it that people who are nonconformists and freethinkers (like all of us here), tend to be more open, friendly, comfortable and social with strangers, whereas mainstream conformists and materialistic people tend to be more cliquish and not as open with strangers?

Have any of you noticed this pattern? Is there a reason for this?

It also seems that highly materialistic people are more cliquish and less open with strangers than non-materialistic people are. Ever notice that too? Why is that?

As far as I know, the most friendly and open people in the world that are the easiest to chat up and the least stuck up, are the following:

- Nonconformist/freethinker types
- People in poor or third world countries
- Elderly or middle age folks
- Hippies or people who call themselves "freespirits", the type that go to Rainbow Gatherings (though they tend to be flaky)
- Perpetual traveler types or nomads
- Great writers and philosophers
- Spiritually-oriented non-materialistic types
- New Age types and Paranormal/UFO enthusiasts
- Artistic people (though not all, for there are many artistic snobs too)

Why is that?

But mainstream conformists in first world countries (USA, Canada, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, etc.) who do not fit the categories above, and are square, live to work, materialistic and only care about their career, marriage, house and errands, (such as all my cousins) are not that open with strangers. Nor do they seem capable of holding intelligent down to earth discussions and exchanges. It's like they are zombies run by instincts or something. Really weird. Ever notice that?

They aren't even on a down to earth wavelength where you can have an intelligent civil conversation with them - not even an articulate conversation like the talk shows you see on TV. And their social skills suck ass totally. It's like they are in a different zone or frequency. It's hard to explain what I mean. Have any of you noticed what I'm talking about? It's like trying to talk to a zombie. Really weird.

Why are most or many mainstream people like this? It's really freaky and creepy. They seem so inhuman. Why do I feel this way? Am I insane or are they?

So why are nonconformists usually more friendly and sociable with strangers than conformists? And why are materialistic people more cliquish and less open with strangers than non-materialistic people? Is there a logical explanation? Anyone want to take a crack at it?

Also, have you noticed that if you say something simple like "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year" to a mainstream conformist, they will say the same back, but as soon as you say anything outside the box or get them to think about something, they just ignore you as if you are weird? WTF? Why is thinking so abnormal in the mainstream conformist world? It's like the Twilight Zone, where I feel like I am the last sane person alive on the planet! LOL

Any of you ever feel that way?

Finally, have you noticed that nonconformists like talking about deep topics whereas conformists prefer trivial superficial subjects? It's like they are on different wavelengths so that when you put them together, even if they are polite to each other, there is like this psychological wedge between them.

Any of you notice that?
Last edited by Winston on August 15th, 2014, 1:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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eurobrat
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Post by eurobrat » March 28th, 2012, 1:27 pm

....
Last edited by eurobrat on May 23rd, 2013, 9:26 pm, edited 3 times in total.

zboy1
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Post by zboy1 » March 28th, 2012, 7:15 pm

eurobrat wrote:Because most people like the status quo! They never even bother changing there life because they think they can't!

http://youtu.be/8rwsuXHA7RA

You have me interested in doing that Trans-Siberian Railway now after talking about it. It looks peaceful.

Check this out:
http://www.google.ru/intl/ru/landing/transsib/en.html
Yes, exactly. Conformity forces you to act and behave in a certain way, which makes the 'conformists' ignore or ridicule ideas or thoughts that are out of the mainstream. This is why 'outside thinkers,' as well as gifted or eccentric people often have difficultly fitting into society. They shun the mainstream media and society because they feel too constrained by the prevailing cultural norms and traditions pushed on them by the masses .

It also explains why many non-conformists grow up having had difficult childhoods and faced backlash for thinking and acting 'outside the box.'
Last edited by zboy1 on March 28th, 2012, 7:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Winston » March 28th, 2012, 7:18 pm

Yeah, but why are nonconformists usually more friendly and sociable with strangers than conformists?

And why are materialistic people more cliquish and less open with strangers than non-materialistic people?

Is there a logical explanation? Anyone want to take a crack at it?
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Post by zboy1 » March 28th, 2012, 7:47 pm

Non-conformists are very open-minded when it comes to different thoughts and opinions and therefore, are much more likely to be friendly, non-materialistic, and less cliquish than conformists than to be. Why is that the case? I believe it's because non-conformists shun the media and reject the values, and norms that are popular in the culture, and as a result, they are not as influenced to act and think in a certain way that is popular in the mainstream.

Conformists must accept whatever is popular in the mainstream; therefore they will reject anyone that goes against the tide. As a result, many conformists are close-minded, unfriendly, and materialistic because that is what the mainstream media is teaching them to act like.

Do you notice how most commercials these days pump fear into the consumer and encourage the materialistic mindset among fellow human beings--almost as if it was a competition to see who can amass the most amount of junk? Do you notice how Hollywood movies like to portray certain races in a negative light, for example Asian or Middle Eastern men, and therefore cause some people to view those races in a hostile and negative light? It is what society is teaching conformists to think and therefore, they aren't as open-minded as non-conformists are.

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Post by jamesbond » March 28th, 2012, 7:50 pm

Winston wrote:Yeah, but why are nonconformists usually more friendly and sociable with strangers than conformists?

And why are materialistic people more cliquish and less open with strangers than non-materialistic people?

Is there a logical explanation? Anyone want to take a crack at it?
I have noticed that too. Studies have shown that the poorer a country is, the more friendly the people are. No wonder why the western countries have such unfriendly people.
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Post by Jackal » March 28th, 2012, 9:01 pm

This is easy to answer: People who aren't part of the mainstream are fewer in number and have less power; therefore, they are looking to form alliances with almost anyone.

But if, for example, UFO enthusiasts became a majority and had serious social power, they might also start acting like assholes and discriminate against people who are different than them.

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Post by Winston » March 28th, 2012, 10:17 pm

That makes sense Jackal. But isn't it also true, as Zboy1 mentioned, that nonconformists also tend to be more open minded to new ideas and people? Isn't that another big factor as well?

Also, why do you think materialistic people are more cliquish than non-materialistic people are?

And what's your explanation for why these types of people are more open and less cliquish as well?

- Nonconformist/freethinker types
- People in poor or third world countries
- Elderly or middle age folks
- Hippies or people who call themselves "freespirits", the type that go to Rainbow Gatherings (though they tend to be flaky)
- Perpetual traveler types or nomads
- Great writers and philosophers
- Spiritually-oriented non-materialistic types
- New Age types and Paranormal/UFO enthusiasts
- Artistic people (though not all, for there are many artistic snobs too)

Btw, have any of you noticed that conformists never refer to themselves as "conformists"? Only nonconformists use that word. Isn't that funny?

Instead, conformists like to call themselves "cool, hip, fun, regular guy/girl, hard worker, achiever" etc.
Last edited by Winston on March 29th, 2012, 3:46 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by DarkMinxMish » March 28th, 2012, 11:01 pm

I don't know sometimes it just seem like conformist are just people who like sheep are unaware, inattentive, and don't care much about anything outside their bubbles/small worlds. They are conditions too some extent and their views are often closed. I know the U.S in particular encourages this sort of behavior with fear mongering, subliminal messages, the fashion/trends, celebrities, the law, and etc...It's a process that never shuts off and keeps people sick, sad, and content. I mean a place where freedom of thought is supposed to be cherished above all shouldn't try to stop it once it's expressed.
People who are different are just treated cruelly and as if they were the bane of society.
It starts in school where your thoughts and imagination are put into bondage. A certain way of thinking is implemented and anything beyond that is garbage as far as the people in charge are concerned. Families are also used as weapons to keep people who don't just go with the flow in order and it sucks. It's like being on a hamster wheel...

Overall nonconformist are braver in a certain sense I guess, because they see what their up against. They won't put up with shutting up and just staying in line with things, because something inside them refuses to. Sure they irritate and alienate, but they in a way burn brighter (their not afraid to live) then others and at their height possibly snuffed out. Being a nonconformist comes with it's highs and lows, but nothing can ever replace the feeling of being free to say and do as you please in a world gone mad.
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Post by Jackal » March 29th, 2012, 5:01 pm

Winston wrote:That makes sense Jackal. But isn't it also true, as Zboy1 mentioned, that nonconformists also tend to be more open minded to new ideas and people? Isn't that another big factor as well?
But the key point is what their motivations are for appearing like nonconformists. Some people are truly open-minded, but others act open-minded just because they're weak and unable to fit in and are looking for allies.

And power corrupts. Look at the pilgrims: they fled England because of religious persecution and then what did they do? They started persecuting other people for religious reasons when they had enough power on a new continent!
Winston wrote: Also, why do you think materialistic people are more cliquish than non-materialistic people are?
Because materialistic people are benefitting from the current status quo and they form cliques which help enforce values which protect their property (i.e. you will never see Bill Gates volunteering at the local communist party headquarters).
Winston wrote: And what's your explanation for why these types of people are more open and less cliquish as well?
I think my previous explanation encompasses them all, except maybe for writers and philosophers. Writers and philosophers are sometimes cliquish and only want to hang out with other writers/intellectuals. The ones who are not cliquish are probably that way because they've spent so much time reflecting on the nature and meaning of human existence--this makes anybody think differently if they do it long enough.
Winston wrote: Btw, have any of you noticed that conformists never refer to themselves as "conformists"? Only nonconformists use that word. Isn't that funny?
Sure, everyone tries to use the label for themselves which sounds the best. For example, unemployed people often like to say that they are "between jobs" instead of just saying that they're unemployed. Similarly, stupid assholes would probably prefer to describe themselves as "fun and confident." lol

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Post by ALIBABA » March 30th, 2012, 4:50 pm

winston. why havent you traveled to the middle east? they are the most sociable (minus israelis)

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Post by momopi » April 1st, 2012, 5:54 pm

If you go join the Transcendental Meditation community in Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa, you'd meet a lot of nice, friendly, and open folks. Though their teachings are non-mainstream and non-conforming to the mainstream culture, being a part of their community means conforming to their specific norms, goals, and outlooks.

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Post by Winston » April 1st, 2012, 8:56 pm

momopi wrote:If you go join the Transcendental Meditation community in Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa, you'd meet a lot of nice, friendly, and open folks. Though their teachings are non-mainstream and non-conforming to the mainstream culture, being a part of their community means conforming to their specific norms, goals, and outlooks.
You could find the same at Buddhist meditation centers. But the women there tend to be older, usually middle age. And even if there were young women there, they would not be interested in flirting, or they would have high standards too. I've tried it. Either way, I lose.

Jackal, you said that some nonconformists are too weak to fit into society, but it depends on what you define as strength. Some people just don't fit it or are bored by conformity, or are freespirits. It doesn't make them weak, just different. Aren't you looking at this from a narrow perspective?

Some, like many here, are also contrarians, who like to do the opposite of what everyone else does, by nature. And some don't like to follow or conform to a schedule either. Like Momopi said, some people are clouds, not trees or grass.

You can't look at it from a black and white world of weakness vs. strength. That is too narrow of a view.
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Post by Empyrian » April 18th, 2012, 1:20 am

Maybe... fear of the unknown. Clinging to what's familiar. To "go with the flow" of society, you have to follow cultural norms and stick with it. They are not interested in other viewpoints, they are interested in their own viewpoint and people and ideas that confirm it. When they find their comfortable social circle, that's enough.

Maybe they are repelled by us, just as we are repelled by them. We seek out people and ideas that confirm our point of view just the same. Talking to other people might stimulate us and give us more insight, which we like. For them, talking to other people is more likely to make cracks in the security of the reality that they hold dear.

I think it's mostly genetic with significant environmental influence. Good people who follow the norms and rise to the top can accomplish a lot, being right inside the web. But you have to have that leaning.
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Post by zacb » June 21st, 2012, 8:50 pm

I personally think that most people are in , as Robert Kyosaki would call it "the Rat Race". People are focused on either surviving or just taking up space just to do it. Nonconformist often times look beyond ipods, homes, cars, etc. (not that tose things are per se bad) and look to a higher purpose . (I know this is a bad example for nice people) Look at Steve Jobs. He was not in the main street. Did he care about material things? No. He was focused on his goals. And when you break from the norm, you will look at your life in different ways than most normal people. You reflect. I know this personally because of a few thing that I am a part of that are not "mainstream".

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