Is online dating over-rated as an avenue?

[mattyman]

I'm saying this, not because I'm against the idea of it, nor do I think it's an for 'losers' with 'no life', but it just doesn't appeal to me. What I dislike about the avenue is the brutal shallowness compared to meeting people in the flesh; e.g. through friends, classes, or on nights out. At least in these avenues people can be sociable and open, not limiting their interactions solely to those they can envisage having a relationship with. In the real world, people generally don't narrow who they'll talk to to what they see as their ideal partner, people don't go round with checklists. Whether you get a conversation or not is not as either-or as being-up to someone's standards of a what they might think is is an ideal partner, or nothing at all. At least in the real world, you can meet people as friends first and get to know them over time.

What I find depressing/concerning is that it's fast replacing the more organic avenues to meet members of the opposite sex. Why the hell does nobody care about how atomised society is getting?

Another thing, I don't understand why online dating is so often touted as the cure-all for people who are shy in social situations. As an avenue, I would argue that it's a lot more brutal and shallow than the real world (if not isolating). At least in real world avenues you get to talk and interact with women.

The second complaint is regarding the profiles you come across. How come foreign girls profiles often have a lot more information to work with, more common-ground to latch onto, more 'hooks', whilst local ones have sod-all? The purpose of a profile is to evoke curiosity and to be a source of talking points, not a vanity device.

[fightforlove]

I used online dating to get over social shyness and finally break into the dating world and learn a thing or two. It gave me a shot in the arm psychologically speaking, and I had one relationship with an American woman I met on eHarmony. I tired of it after a while, though, relatively poor ROI for a guy and I had very creative profiles, great pics, wrote good emails, etc. Too much work just to go on odd coffee dates once a month or so with mediocre girls at best. OLD also opens the door for very poor manners, girls who can't even politely communicate whether they want to meet you, don't want to see you again, etc. You have to have a thick skin and play it like a pure numbers game just to get girls interested, but then it's complicated to transition from the abundance/numbers game mentality to finding a girl in that mix who's actually worth a shot at a serious relationship.

[GoingAwol]

Online dating sucks! Do not waste time on dating sites unless you have no other options. Why does it suck? Because you might message hundreds (Or even thousands) of women and might get a handful of replies. Out of those women who reply, one or two might actually meet up with you. And if you meet her, chances are she'll be fatter and less attractive than she looked in her profile pictures.

[Zambales]

OLD gives a person a much wider choice than their social circles allow and that's the main advantage. The downside though is that there's a lot of competition so it's common to be ignored or kicked to the kerb if someone else "better" comes along.

I first started using dating sites back when they were relatively new and must have had 30+ dates including a few abroad since then. Three unsuccesful relationships later and I still go on them now and again but I'm only interested in women from overseas. I gave up dating women online locally in 2009 due to the shitty quality of women which was more down to their attitude than anything else. Those last three dates I had locally scarred me for life lol.

At first OLD was fun but the novelty soon wore off. I then switched to foreign women and my most memorable date was my first in the Philippines. Going to a country I'd never been to before to date was daunting but exciting as well, and it's something I don't regret doing even though it didn't work out in the end.

[Ghost]

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[jamesbond]

Online dating sucks! Do not waste time on dating sites unless you have no other options. Why does it suck? Because you might message hundreds (Or even thousands) of women and might get a handful of replies. Out of those women who reply, one or two might actually meet up with you. And if you meet her, chances are she'll be fatter and less attractive than she looked in her profile pictures.

Online dating is the biggest scam ever perpetrated on single men in America. Studies show that 80% of people who use online dating are men and only 20% are women, so the women are getting inundated by guys responding to them.

Also, most of the women who use online dating are either fat, ugly or single mothers.

[wanderlust]

It's overrated for guys, sure. After sinking a lot of time into some online sites in the US I had to conclude that the majority of the girls were there for attention, to be entertained, have a flattering experience, take out their frustrations, or to be socially involved, or whatever, but definitely not to find a boyfriend. It takes some mad wordsmithing skills to get conversation, and most of the replies are lifeless one-line responses.

A few years ago I met a girl who looked decent in her profile. Just a generic pic of her in an ordinary tank top in her car, seemed pretty normal. She was divorced, having been previously married ten years or something. When we met in real life it seemed like she'd done quite a bit of meth. Looked older, sounded old, and the bad dentistry really gave it away. We just had a normal conversation in our meeting. I asked her how many new contacts she got per day and she said 12 was typical.

For what it's worth, in-person matchmaking is supposed to be gaining traction again, I think the female clientele there believes it's a source for "vetted" men of the proper status. At this point I don't think that would provide any kind of hope for a normal guy who's not a high earner.