The Argument "You Don't Deserve a Girlfriend Just For Being X"

[Outcast9428]

It is frustrating how often I come across this in other areas of the internet. Whenever a guy complains about his troubles with women, he gets dogpiled by people saying things like "you don't deserve a girlfriend just because you're a nice guy." Or "you meet the bare minimum standards why do you deserve a girlfriend?"

This frustrates me for two reasons...

1. Why shouldn't a guy being nice be a major point in his favor? Western society acts as if being nice doesn't matter at all and that you are somehow being unreasonable by suggesting that it should help you out in the dating field. If society stops rewarding men for being good guys, they shouldn't be surprised when guys stop being good people. Nobody wants to be lonely and beaten down their entire life and American society seems to put constant pressure on guys to forget all their morals and start behaving like a dick, promising guys they'll finally get the romance they seek.

2. Why the f**k has getting a girlfriend started to feel like trying to get a ferrari nowadays? Apparently you have to be a particularly special person in order to get a girlfriend now? What the hell ever happened to the days when people said "everybody deserves to find love?" Nowadays it has become you only deserve a girlfriend if you are highly attractive, charismatic, and have dozens of casual friends and acquaintances?

And the biggest problem is, even a lot of the guys I know who struggle with getting girls seem to think this way now. The overwhelming majority of both the normal and outcast population doesn't seem to believe that everybody deserves to find somebody anymore. A disturbingly large segment of the population seems completely okay with dooming a fairly substantial percentage of the population to a loveless, perpetually single existence. They think the only people who "deserve a girlfriend" are people who have particularly enticing features or personality traits. I don't even consider myself to be a boring person but I still think boring people deserve a girlfriend. Pretty much all the "boring people" of the 50s, 60s, 70s and whatever decade were also able to get married. So why do you suddenly need to have this super entertaining personality to "deserve a girlfriend" now?

Why am I the only person out there who seems disgusted by this? I feel disgusted by the fact that our society has become so callous towards miserable singles. I feel like it is the sign of a fundamentally sick society that no longer believes love is important and instead values money and status above everything. And I could've sworn this happened overnight. I seem to remember just as recently as when I was a kid 10-15 years ago that nearly everybody believed love was something everybody deserved to have and that love was more important than money.

I hate this world we live in now. It feels like a nightmare I am begging to wake up from.

[Shemp]

Reason they jump on you is you come across as a miserable whiner. Or maybe they resent you for trying to gaslight them into believing fake arithmetic, such that more than x% of the population can be in the top x%. (Note that such gaslighting is now prohibited according to new forum rules.)

Half the men are below average, by definition of average (median, to be precise). And few women are interested in below average men. So you have a choice: make yourself above average, bottom feed among women who are willing to accept below average men, use unorthodox techniques (money) to get access to a woman's body despite the fact that she doesn't find you sexually attractive. Needless to say, last technique is best if you have good income but are lacking physically so no way to become above average in looks.

As for loneliness, get a dog or cat. Much simpler to deal with than women.

[yick]

Basically, you have to make your own road to happiness - it takes self improvement - mentally, physically and socially - love, sex and women are a result of a lot of improvements made in your life - of course, some men get this from the off but it isn't any use going over why some men get more than others - that's just life.

All you can do, that you can really change - is how to make yourself a better person - things like grooming, clothes and exercise matter, making money and getting an education matters, picking up useful skills matter, making friends and influencing people matter.

A lot of men here (not the two above thankfully...) want to blame the world and want women to change which they never will - or they're not going to do in the short window you have where you have your fitness, sexual vitality and hair - you have a short time to get what you want out of it all because soon you will be middle aged and the women you want will rarely want you.

You have two choices, decide what you want and what do you want to change within yourself and make better or improve - because the second question will yield the best results in getting what you want. If I had changed nothing from when I was a young man but insisted the world change then I wouldn't be here now, I would be dead because I would have ended it - the only way forward for me was to change myself and make myself better and thankfully it happened - that is the only route for most men out there.

[MrMan]

You could avoid forums where they post such things. I don't think I've ever read, "You don't deserve a girlfriend because"... but I am not single complaining about not having a girlfriend.

I was also marriage-oriented, looking for a wife, one out of all the women on earth, so it wasn't going to work out with just anyone.

[Summertime]

Op, notice most of the responses to your question are delusional and out of touch. And they whine a lot. The west has been horrible for dating, sex, and marriage for a long time. Don't listen to there pua type advice. Many men really hate other men, and give bad advice to guys struggling in the dating game to make themselves feel better about themselves.

[yick]

Op, notice most of the responses to your question are delusional and out of touch. And they whine a lot. The west has been horrible for dating, sex, and marriage for a long time. Don't listen to there pua type advice. Many men really hate other men, and give bad advice to guys struggling in the dating game to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Who's whining?

What's your path to victory, that's right - you don't f***ing have one.

[Summertime]

Op, notice most of the responses to your question are delusional and out of touch. And they whine a lot. The west has been horrible for dating, sex, and marriage for a long time. Don't listen to there pua type advice. Many men really hate other men, and give bad advice to guys struggling in the dating game to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Who's whining?

What's your path to victory, that's right - you don't f***ing have one.

You suck as a person. Your sad in life and need to improve yourself. Take your own advice. I'm already victorious because I'm not you.

[yick]

It is frustrating how often I come across this in other areas of the internet. Whenever a guy complains about his troubles with women, he gets dogpiled by people saying things like "you don't deserve a girlfriend just because you're a nice guy." Or "you meet the bare minimum standards why do you deserve a girlfriend?"

I don't think that is true, nice men get women but the term 'nice guy' is a euphemism for 'sucker' he isn't nice, he is just nice to women he wants to have sex with and he thinks doing them favours will get them sex because they owe him and the only way they can owe him is by letting him f**k them - if a man is a genuine nice person then he will get as many women as his looks, status, career, financial situation and personality will allow.

1. Why shouldn't a guy being nice be a major point in his favor? Western society acts as if being nice doesn't matter at all and that you are somehow being unreasonable by suggesting that it should help you out in the dating field. If society stops rewarding men for being good guys, they shouldn't be surprised when guys stop being good people. Nobody wants to be lonely and beaten down their entire life and American society seems to put constant pressure on guys to forget all their morals and start behaving like a dick, promising guys they'll finally get the romance they seek.

Being a nice person is a positive for some women, for some women it isn't - some women are nice people and some are not - being nice isn't a prerequisite for getting a woman and being a 'nice guy' to women you want to have sex with never works because women can see through the fraud - the nastier ones will just use you until you have served your purpose and then f**k you off.

Doing women you want to have sex with favours and being 'nice' to them is a road to nowhere most of the time because some of them will siphon favours, money and time off you and not give you a second thought, the sooner you are able to walk away from women the better prepared you are going to be for this behaviour. Not every woman is like this of course, if you're a decent person then you will find someone of that level but if you're pretending to be 'nice' to get sex with a woman you like then 9 times out of 10 you will be losing out because women are programmed to see through the act.

2. Why the f**k has getting a girlfriend started to feel like trying to get a ferrari nowadays? Apparently you have to be a particularly special person in order to get a girlfriend now? What the hell ever happened to the days when people said "everybody deserves to find love?" Nowadays it has become you only deserve a girlfriend if you are highly attractive, charismatic, and have dozens of casual friends and acquaintances?

If you want above average then you need to be above average yourself - that's a good analogy actually because people want the Ferrari but no-one wants a Mini Metro - above average women know their worth so you have to work on yourself to improve what you're about - some things you can't change - like your skin colour or your height and some things you can - like your weight, education, grooming, fitness - concentrate on the things you can change and improve yourself.

Because it is one of two things - wait until the world changes (more than likely - never...) OR you can change and
improve your chances of finding what you want.

And the biggest problem is, even a lot of the guys I know who struggle with getting girls seem to think this way now. The overwhelming majority of both the normal and outcast population doesn't seem to believe that everybody deserves to find somebody anymore. A disturbingly large segment of the population seems completely okay with dooming a fairly substantial percentage of the population to a loveless, perpetually single existence. They think the only people who "deserve a girlfriend" are people who have particularly enticing features or personality traits. I don't even consider myself to be a boring person but I still think boring people deserve a girlfriend. Pretty much all the "boring people" of the 50s, 60s, 70s and whatever decade were also able to get married. So why do you suddenly need to have this super entertaining personality to "deserve a girlfriend" now?

It's better now, you can go anywhere in the world now and find a woman - you would find a woman if you went to Brazil or the Philippines or Ghana or Russia and spent time there, learned the language and went out and looked presentable and polite - in the 50's, 60's and 70's - these places were closed off or a trip of a lifetime, nowadays you have the whole world of women to scope - back then you certainly didn't. You were confined to the women of your hometown - the ones you went to school or work with and if you didn't get any of them - well, tough shit, you died alone - now, you can go wherever you want and find whatever you want - a black girl with a big booty and huge boobs, a slender East Asian girl, a feisty Latina, a blonde Russian - every single type of woman is now accessible so why lament about the loss of dating protocol of the 1950's - it was crap and choice was very limited - today, you can get in touch with a pretty Russian, Chinese, Colombian, Kenyan - whatever woman you want, you can go and visit her when this pandemic is over - this is a more exciting time than ever.

Why am I the only person out there who seems disgusted by this?

Obviously you're not the ONLY person 'disgusted' by this, many men lament about today's situation but the situation is the best it ever has been - you're not confined to women in your locality - you can now find women all over the world.

I feel disgusted by the fact that our society has become so callous towards miserable singles. I feel like it is the sign of a fundamentally sick society that no longer believes love is important and instead values money and status above everything. And I could've sworn this happened overnight. I seem to remember just as recently as when I was a kid 10-15 years ago that nearly everybody believed love was something everybody deserved to have and that love was more important than money.

My dad always says this and he is correct - if a man dies alone it is that is what he truly wanted.

Money and status count for men - they do I am afraid, you're just going to have get used to the fact that what you do and what you're capable of bringing to the table counts for women and they're not changing anytime soon - it is biologically hardwired into them and no, it didn't happen overnight, it has always been the same.

And there have always been some men who got more than others when it came to women, dating and sex.

But to say you HAVE TO be alone if that isn't what you want isn't true in my opinion - you might have to work harder, expand your scope to finding someone but there is someone in this world for you, someone that you want - she might not look like Brittany Decker but if you aren't Andy Roddick - chances of getting her are slim.

I hate this world we live in now. It feels like a nightmare I am begging to wake up from.

That's just silly.

Write down what you want, make it detailed and go for it.

Write down the things you can change, the things you can improve.

We had a poster on here, some miserable twat called 'Ghost' he didn't want to change anything within himself, he wanted the situation to change, for women to change their hardwired desires.

Well, that's not happening, it will be easier and more productive to change the things you can change and most of them are within you to change - you can become, slimmer, fitter, better groomed, more knowledgeable - you don't have to wake up every morning thinking you are living in a nightmare - you're not - it might feel like that but there is a lot you can do to change things and make it better - but this is a lifelong endeavour but if you are prepared to put the work in then it can be done.

Half of the world are women.

[Shemp]

...

Hi yick, you sent me a PM but have PM receipt disabled, so I can't reply.

[yick]

...

Hi yick, you sent me a PM but have PM receipt disabled, so I can't reply.

No worries! You should be able to reply to me... I have checked my settings... Hope you're well!

[Shemp]

...

Hi yick, you sent me a PM but have PM receipt disabled, so I can't reply.

No worries! You should be able to reply to me... I have checked my settings... Hope you're well!

I get this message when I try to add "yick" as recipient: Some users couldn’t be added as they have disabled private message receipt.

Anyway, back to OP. If you are very far below average, and can't improve yourself, then there are women with low standards for sex partners. So hope is not lost. For example: https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/cou ... 51259.html

[Outcast9428]

@yick @Shemp

You're not saying anything I haven't already heard a zillion times. I'm already aware of all this stuff. And quite frankly, I'm not talking about myself. I've given on American women, I'm going to get myself a sweet Thai girlfriend.

However, I am absolutely disgusted by the current state of dating in the West and I am determined as a lifelong mission alongside getting my Thai wife to make sure this way of life does not spread to the rest of the world and possibly that it even ends in the West. But this defeatist, individualist mindset is not going to accomplish that. Why is the single underclass so eager to jump on other men who suffer from the same issues as they do? They seem more determined to preserve their pride then they do to form an alliance with other men and actually change things in a positive direction. Why are you as an individual not able to change things? Because most of the other guys in the same situation as you are think in a pure individualist way.

What we need to do, is think in a more collectivist, tribalistic way. Have you guys learned nothing from the past three years? You get mad because certain guys are "whiners." Well look at the US right now? Our government literally just got taken over by the whiniest group in society. Whining works. The louder you whine and the more determined you are with it, eventually it works. Every change and revolution that has ever happened occurred because a big enough group of "whiners" decided they weren't gonna put up with it anymore. Whiny colonists who didn't like paying taxes created the entire nation of the US. It doesn't matter who you are. Trannies are 0.6% of the population and now managed to get the government and corporate world to cater to them even though they are insane. Virgin males at the age of about 30 or so on the other hand are 4.5% of the population and the percentage of men aged 22-35 who failed to have sex in 2018 was 28%. We are a much bigger group then the trannies are, but we are held back by self-loathing, a competitive attitude towards one another, and a lack of tribalistic unity.

We are the only group in society that actually repeats our enemies' talking points against ourselves. Wtf is up with that? Nice guys do deserve to be rewarded, when you stop rewarding good behavior in society, you're not gonna get good behavior anymore. Why do you think so many men are becoming thugs now? Why do you think thug culture has exploded in the past 40 years? Being a thug is what is rewarded by society now. Thugs existed in the 50s too but by today's standards, they were wimps. They pretty much just looked and acted like school bullies. Nowadays, the thugs are murdering children in the streets. You don't think that American society's attitudes towards good men has something to do with that? Listen to men like Tupac, they say the exact same things as we are saying about how women don't like any guy who is nice, that they got shat on for being nice, and look at what happened to Tupac? He became a gangster. This is what happens when society decides to actively deincentivize good behavior. I do miss the 1950s, because back then, mothers told their daughters to marry good men and would get angry at them for marrying bad boys. Obviously some still did it, but it was a lot less common then it is today.

Yes the world is open now, and thank God for that. But who knows how much longer that will last with the globohomo determined to destroy every country on Earth that isn't like America.

[yick]

You haven't read a word I have written, have you?

[Outcast9428]

@yick @Shemp

You're not saying anything I haven't already heard a zillion times. I'm already aware of all this stuff. And quite frankly, I'm not talking about myself. I've given on American women, I'm going to get myself a sweet Thai girlfriend.

However, I am absolutely disgusted by the current state of dating in the West and I am determined as a lifelong mission alongside getting my Thai wife to make sure this way of life does not spread to the rest of the world and possibly that it even ends in the West. But this defeatist, individualist mindset is not going to accomplish that. Why is the single underclass so eager to jump on other men who suffer from the same issues as they do? They seem more determined to preserve their pride then they do to form an alliance with other men and actually change things in a positive direction. Why are you as an individual not able to change things? Because most of the other guys in the same situation as you are think in a pure individualist way.

What we need to do, is think in a more collectivist, tribalistic way. Have you guys learned nothing from the past three years? You get mad because certain guys are "whiners." Well look at the US right now? Our government literally just got taken over by the whiniest group in society. Whining works. The louder you whine and the more determined you are with it, eventually it works. Every change and revolution that has ever happened occurred because a big enough group of "whiners" decided they weren't gonna put up with it anymore. Whiny colonists who didn't like paying taxes created the entire nation of the US. It doesn't matter who you are. Trannies are 0.6% of the population and now managed to get the government and corporate world to cater to them even though they are insane. Virgin males at the age of about 30 or so on the other hand are 4.5% of the population and the percentage of men aged 22-35 who failed to have sex in 2018 was 28%. We are a much bigger group then the trannies are, but we are held back by self-loathing, a competitive attitude towards one another, and a lack of tribalistic unity.

We are the only group in society that actually repeats our enemies' talking points against ourselves. Wtf is up with that? Nice guys do deserve to be rewarded, when you stop rewarding good behavior in society, you're not gonna get good behavior anymore. Why do you think so many men are becoming thugs now? Why do you think thug culture has exploded in the past 40 years? Being a thug is what is rewarded by society now. Thugs existed in the 50s too but by today's standards, they were wimps. They pretty much just looked and acted like school bullies. Nowadays, the thugs are murdering children in the streets. You don't think that American society's attitudes towards good men has something to do with that? Listen to men like Tupac, they say the exact same things as we are saying about how women don't like any guy who is nice, that they got shat on for being nice, and look at what happened to Tupac? He became a gangster. This is what happens when society decides to actively deincentivize good behavior. I do miss the 1950s, because back then, mothers told their daughters to marry good men and would get angry at them for marrying bad boys. Obviously some still did it, but it was a lot less common then it is today.

Yes the world is open now, and thank God for that. But who knows how much longer that will last with the globohomo determined to destroy every country on Earth that isn't like America.

I wouldn't want my daughters marry someone who is "just nice", I want them to marry someone who brings something to the table aside from being friendly and agreeable. Like, good looks. Who wants ugly grandchildren. Some money, stability. Because who wants starving grandchildren? It's all about what a partner can offer. An ugly dude with no job, no career, no degree, no ambition, just... a friendly smile and a nice word for everyone. Who the hell wants that?

I look at the world a bit differently now that I am a father. Girls look for someone who has good genes. Bad boy or good boy, matters little. It's like that on the savannah, too. We are all just animals at the end of the day. Humans are just animals in clothes with a thin veneer of respectability and civility, but you know just as well as I do that it's all nonsense at the end of the day. No need to be naive.

I'm not saying broke and ugly nice guys should be married to beautiful girls. But I do think that how good the guy is, is about as important as things like looks and money.

Let's say a guy is a good guy, rich, and either good or average looking. I think this guy should have priority over everyone. The good looking one would have priority over the average looking one, but that's pretty much it. I wouldn't give priority to a good looking asshole who is rich over a good guy, who is rich, but average looking.

Let's say it comes down to two guys. One guy is a good guy, who earns a medium amount of money, and has average looks. Now let's say another guy is an asshole, but is rich and has good looks. I would tell my theoretical daughter to marry the first guy. The first guy won't be able to provide a lavish lifestyle, but I am confident he is not going to abuse her. I also have to consider the genetic impact that would have on the world as well as my personal genetic legacy if I encouraged my daughter, assuming she is beautiful, to reproduce with an asshole.

Now if the situation was a nice guy, but he was disabled and ugly... Then I see your point.

However, what I am saying is that the guy being good is an important factor whereas people these days actually seem like they are treating it as a negative sometimes.

[yick]

You suck as a person.

No I don't.

I am a tall, reasonably good looking person who is fit and healthy AND - happier abroad.

Your sad in life

You're

The ignorance these days.

and need to improve yourself.

Of course, that is called self-reflection - is this why you are dateless, jobless and hopeless

Take your own advice. I'm already victorious because I'm not you.

I am great, you are stuck in America and bitter and I knew you had nothing to offer this debate now go away.