Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
Now let's look at the alternative to going abroad - staying in the US and following the standard pseudo-advice commonly given to the dateless: 1) Work on yourself, and 2) Get involved in activities and clubs.
Where do you think this would get me? Let's see, I work on myself for a few years, and enhance my desirability a bit. Then maybe ONCE every few YEARS, I'll find someone who wants to date me, and if I'm lucky she might even be somewhat cute or attractive. But that's ONCE every few YEARS! (which was my dating record in the US already) Plus, there's no telling how long it will even last when it comes either (my last American girlfriend lasted only 5 weeks!). Now does that spell wide pool of CHOICES to you? I think not! Life is too short for that. On the other hand, look at my wide assortment of dating choices overseas in my collage (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm). I think that says it all. Anyone would rather have lots of choices constantly present, then just ONE choice every few years, or none at all! Get real.
And besides, even if you did "work" on yourself and became a great guy with wonderful qualities and a lot to offer, so what? If you're not a woman's type in America, and hence not desirable, then all you will get is a pat on the back from women and be told, "Congratulations. You have many great qualities and a lot to offer. I'm sure you'll be a good catch to the right woman someday." What's that going to get you?! Rather than wait years (or never) for "someone" who finally appreciates me, I'd rather be DESIRABLE to women in general, so that I have CHOICES anytime I want, including NOW! And in some foreign countries where the factors are in my favor, I have just that. Life is too short, so why wait years or never?!
As to number two, been there, done that. Sure I can join activities and clubs to meet girls, or take classes popular with girls (cooking, yoga, swing dancing) or just simply going to places where the girls are. Anyone can do that. But look at reality here. Meeting lots of girls you like isn't going to get you any dates if you're not their type. They're still gonna blow you off if you show interest. All that will come of it are polite conversations, but nothing more. And if you try to make something more out of it, they blow you off or refuse politely, saying that they have a boyfriend or that they prefer to have time to themselves. So sure, you can meet lots of girls in America, there are places and activities for that, but if you aren't their type, which I never am, then you'll only be left with disappointment, a huge let down, and blow to your ego. You will be left wondering,
"What's wrong with me? Why am I not dating material? Why did those girls say they would rather be alone then hang out with me?"
But let's be honest here. How many dateless people do you know who turned their dating life around by simply 1) Working on themselves and 2) Joining clubs and activities? Virtually nobody right? So as you can see, this advice is simply worthless.
Well f@#$ that. Why deal with that when there's "dating paradise" overseas?! Life is too short to waste. You gotta make the best of it NOW!
In the end, you gotta ask yourself this. Would you rather forever endure constant rejection from women, such as this fan from my forum received in this letter:
"Paul, i have to tell you something. I have met someone and he is fast becoming a very important man in my life. I am having feelings toward him that I haven't felt in a long time and I want to see where this is going to lead. He has made me realize that there is life inside me that I can feel again, that I am a woman as well as a mother and my needs are important too. It was nice meeting you but I don't think that I want to persue anything more than friendship with you as I have some very strong feelings toward this other man. I would prefer not to correspond with you and would like it if you don't call me anymore, I don't have feelings toward you in that way. Your daughter is beautiful and you need to make her the focus of your life, never let her want for anything. It was nice knowing you, Jodi"
Or, would you rather live like this: http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm
I rest my case.
Last edited by Winston on October 7th, 2012, 7:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Check out my fun video clips in Russia and video series Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind and Full Russia Trip Videos!
See my HA Ebook and Join Our Dating Sites to support us!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
I would just add, save your pennies, live below your means, then get out as soon as possible.
I watch the markets carefully, and I saw this whole subprime mortgage crash coming. So, about 3 months ago I moved the wife and I out of our expensive rental house (about $1200 a month with a super scumbag landlord) to this cheaper and smaller apartment ($425 a month, all utilities included).
Because of this one small step, we will be able to get fully and completely out of debt by March of 2009. Then, were making immediate plans to get the hell OUT of America once and for all.
The overall point is, if you focus yourself and plan properly, you can change your life. Sitting around and "improving yourself" is just marking time in the same place, waiting for the bitter end.
Here's a couple articles to read:
http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/ind ... ppearance/
I think everyone know that in US and most other countries, "better looking" people, or people with higher sexual market value get hired more, get paid more, get dates more, etc., versus not so good looking people get hired less, get paid less, and get fewer dates.
Can you work to improve your sexual market value, to elevate your employement opportunities, increase pay/promotion (you need $ to go abroad), and get more dates? The answer is yes, but finding the correct solution, and your level of success, will vary from person to person.
There's a right way and wrong way to do this. Getting your teeth fixed so you have perfect-looking chops is good, but getting addicted to cosmetic surgery to the point of disfiguring yourself (Michael Jackson?) is not.