Do I have a victim vibe? How do you explain these?

[Winston]

I have a question.

A lot of things indicate to me that I have some sort of "victim vibe". And I wonder why. For instance, today a German Shepherd that saw me began barking angrily for no reason. Yet when my parents walk by, it doesn't care. It only gets riled up at the sight of me. This isn't the first time that a dog has singled me out of a crowd of people for some reason. (and no, I do not have any fear of dogs, rather I approach them like I can kick their ass easily)

People also tend to use me as a punching bag. My former friend Stefan did, and admitted it too. Kids at school did. And also some guys on this forum do too, as demonstrated in certain threads here.

I'll bet that if Rock and I both dressed in shabby clothes and showed both our pics here, the bashers here would ONLY attack me for it and make negative comments about it, but would tell Rock that he "dressed fine" simply cause I have a victim vibe and he doesn't. I'm fairly certain of this double standard based on my past experience.

In high school, other kids who dressed in shitty or shabby clothes did NOT get made fun of for it, while I did. It's not logical. It's like people need to pick on me for some reason. Even if others have the same defect, they will focus on me instead, as if I'm held to a higher standard than others. Why is that? It does seem I am singled out for some reason. Highly illogical, but true.

There are many other examples in my life that I could give that points to me getting singled out or "picked on" by people, situations and bad luck often, for no logical reason other than that I'm just a natural victim.

It's like I have some sort of energy that subconsciously tells people to treat me bad, pick on me, punish me, etc. and people react accordingly. And dogs do too as well. Any of you ever notice this about certain people?

Do some have a victim vibe? Or are some just born losers? There are many nice people in the world, but not all of them get taken advantage of or picked on or treated unfairly or attract bad people like I do. Why is that? Do I have bad karma? Or do the mysterious forces of the universe just pick certain people to be victims that get singled out for no reason? It's as if the universe has assigned me the role of a victim for some reason.

[momopi]

One who complains about "victim blaming mentally" often sets himself up as the victim (with victim mentally).

Do some have a victim vibe? Or are some just born losers? There are many nice people in the world, but not all of them get taken advantage of or picked on or treated unfairly or attract bad people like I do. Why is that? Do I have bad karma? Or do the mysterious forces of the universe just pick certain people to be victims that get singled out for no reason? It's as if the universe has assigned me the role of a victim for some reason.

Only if you believe in fatalistic pre-determination.

[ssjparris]

@ winston yes winston this is well understood. everyone has the victim mentality. and besides your dark side is out a little. the cats and dogs can sense your aura. Your aura is telling them that you are dangerous to be around. if you stay positive your good side will show more in the aura. and they won't bark at you.

another thing about why people treat you this way is because you have a mind pattern that says i am a punching bag. you now PULL the experience to you over and over again. you must clean this mind pattern out with affirmations and belief....I release the need to be a punching bag ( say this every day. and you shall be free of it.) replace it with something that you want to experience with people instead. i am admired by all ( say this often.)

the reason why you are with HOT DESIRABLE FEMALES is because your mind pattern is attracting LOTS of women that are desirable, dateable, and easy going to meet and be with. sometimes changing the environement absolutely changes the outside reality to fit the new mind pattern.

everyone here is obtaining the mind pattern of hot desirable women are easy to meet date and be with. the environment or country has a collective mind pattern that fits with your easy to date hot desirable women mind pattern. so of course you HAD to leave so your outside reality could FIT your mind pattern of easy going dateable hot sexy women !!!.

so yes your absolutely right when you say the american dating environment is a horrible nightmare for men. the collective mind pattern here in the USA is undateable women. its time for me to be where your at soon HA !.

here is more of it in a much better understanding:

[Winston]

But how am I "dangerous" though? I don't do anything risky. Perhaps I transgress things and that gives me a "danger vibe"?

Also, dogs have singled me out ever since I was a little kid. Why is that? Before it was fear, but now maybe they sense my anger?

I remember reading in the book "The Power of Now" that people who harbor a lot of subconscious anger will trigger anger in others who are angry. So they could be doing nothing and then suddenly someone will explode at them cause they are angry people too and the trigger is pulled by their presence.

Could that be what's happening with me? Perhaps dogs who are angry sense my anger too? And also old Russian babushkas that yell at me for no reason.

[MrPeabody]

Have a snack for the dog, and I bet he will like you. Humans are more difficult.

[Kunold]

" people who harbor a lot of subconscious anger will trigger anger in others who are angry. So they could be doing nothing and then suddenly someone will explode at them cause they are angry people too and the trigger is pulled by their presence."

Winston, i have noticed this too with myself, i probably come across as nervous and bitter, even when i try to act friendly people can read me better than i can especially women.

[ryanx]

I don't particulary like dogs...they irritate me and I get nervous around vicious looking ones. Do they sense my dislike of them?

I love cats and I think I used to be one in a pervious life, lol, because they really respond well to me.

I notice dogs do single me out too. Sometimes even when I am competely unaware of them and therefore not nervous. I do have a very self assured, slow and delibrate way of walking...is there some energy that they sense? I wonder.

[globetrotter]

Winston have you attended university and/or graduated from one?

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I think there are different things going on with the dog and the bullies.

The dog likely perceived you as a threat where it did not perceive that from your parents. Maybe someone that resembled you in size, age, or scent teased or mistreated the dog in the past and he reacted this way to you. There is no vibe that the dog was reacting to unless you were fearful of the dog.

As for the bullies in school, they likely targeted you because you were obviously not cut from the same cloth as that of the herd. You were a freethinker, an ethnic minority, and seemingly non-threatening to those wishing to pounce on vulnerable others to bolster their positions. Bullies are notorious for choosing who they perceive as weak.

In no way do I think you are weak, but the lack of projecting strength likely got you negative attention. I bet if you would have learned to "bark" like dogs do or behave in a manner of strength, these bullies would have left you alone.

I had bullies in my workplace, and when I projected strength, they backed down in weakness.

[swincor]

Winston:

First, you did have a bashing board not long ago, and you had it up for a very long time, refusing to take it down when others advised you to do so, so you can't say you didn't invite the bashing yourself.

Flooding other people's email boxes and web forums (and maybe still do) with self-promotional spam, even when you were repeatedly told not to do, only made you pushy and obnoxious in the eyes of many. Can you honestly say you were surprised by the adverse response?

Finally, you have a tendency to over-write about personal situations when you should be taking action instead. You want to elicit sympathy from your readers by being perceived as a victim of circumstances beyond your control. But the problem is that you only highlight how little you try, so you end up eliciting a very opposite sentiment.

So I'm afraid I have to disagree with the title of your thread and say that you are not a totally blameless, innocent victim.

[MrPeabody]

I have actually felt like this before. For example, I have felt before like in public that women are moving away from me. Also, as you get older in America, you get less and less respect from people. I find the eastern cultures attractive, because older people get more respect.

I have concluded that the new age "it's all in your head" answer is ultimately counterproductive. So, you work on yourself to relax and think happy thoughts, then you go out into the world, and it works for a while. But then the first person you meet who again is mean to you, you will become disillusioned and depressed. So, I would say the problem with this approach is that it ultimately depends on what someone thinks of you - in other words external conditions.

The spiritual approach is to work on yourself to detach your inner self from your external conditions. The optimum way to be is to be happy even when people are nasty to you. If you can do this, then you will be happy independent of your external conditions. This is far more ambitious then the improve your personality approach and hope it will result in more positive feedback.

Consider, for example, Jesus who found himself surrounded by an angry mob demanding his execution. Perhaps, if he had gone to the local Jewish psychologist, he would have been told that he was giving off angry vibes and he should try to relax. It's interesting how the spiritual point of view differs from the new age point of view. In spirituality, you are told that the better person you become, the more persecution you should expect - just the opposite of "you are getting bad feedback because you aren't nice enough".

To give you an example of how spirituality can detach your happy self from your external conditions, here is a Youtube video of a former prison guard of US Guantanamo. He noticed the prisoners were always smiling everyday, and they didn't mind that they were being humiliated and mocked. He was so impressed by their peace of mind, that he accepted Islam.




So, don't feel bad if you are being mocked by the world. It may be a good thing.

[Winston]

Winston have you attended university and/or graduated from one?

Yeah, why? What does that have to do with this?

[Winston]

Does this make sense?

http://davidicke.com/forum/showthread.p ... 056&page=3

Ever since The Law of Attraction and The Secret were popularized by Oprah, I'm having complete idiots (who wouldn't know anything about metaphysics if it kicked them in the rear) tell me about how we create our own universe from our thoughts. Like attracts like, they say.

This is not metaphysically sound. I think it is taken from the homeopathic rule that like can be manipulated to cure like.

It is a fundamental law of the physical and metaphysical world we live in that opposites attract. It is this attraction that causes atomic spin and leads to the regeneration of all human life.

So, it follows that good people attract evil simply because they are good. Quiet people attract violence. The kindly giving person frequently attracts cruel, domineering violent partners. And, so on...

If you are a good person - a light in a world of darkness - you will be a target both physically and metaphysically. If you are small, attractive, well-dressed and well-mannered, you are bound to have more than the average share of problems from wicked people.

Arm yourself. Be prepared for violence. That's the best answer... and don't blame yourself. And don't let idiots blame you, either.

There... advice from a long-time student of the occult and an all around "survivor"!

[YoucancallmeAl]

I doubt it has that much to do with the "internal vibe" you're "projecting". People make way too much of that when more often than not it's subtle external things that set people off.

For example, they say that one of the first things women notice about a guy is his shoes. To you and me, that seems so arbitrary and irrelevant. But if she doesn't like your shoes, she may immediately see you as a non-option romantically. It had nothing to do with any "vibe" you were giving her.
If it were all about attitude and vibe, how would you explain all the people with pissy, negative or snobby attitudes who still have no problem attracting friends and lovers?

For example, the average dimestore shrink will tell us that if people don't like us, we just need to be friendly and smile more. Bullshit! In fact, in a lot of hipster circles, you're considered weak and deeply uncool if you're smiling too much or acting too upbeat. And they prefer those with a sneering, detached, "don't-give-a-f**k" demeaner. And of course you must be wearing the correct hipster uniform too or you will be scorned and rejected, no matter what vibe you're projecting.

As for dogs and cats, I think it's a much simpler issue than with humans. Obviously, animals will be less judgemental about superficial things. They don't care if your shirt is out of style this year. I think dogs and cats can tell if you like them or not and that may be what they're responding to. Me, I don't like most dogs. They are smelly and gross, drooling all over you, wiping their snotty noses on your clothes, etc. But I love cats! And people are often shocked at how quickly their cats will warm up to me when they are usually very shy around humans they don't know.

[YoucancallmeAl]

Also, I had similar problems as you when I was a kid, starting in junior high, when kids are beginning the puberty/adolescence transition. I wasn't an ethnic minority, but I was often the target of bullies and made fun of a lot. Mostly because I was poor and couldn't afford stylish clothes. And mostly because I had sucky parents who were terrible at helping to guide me through this awkward stage and build the necessary social skills. Also, as my parents were long divorced, I went back and forth between my dad in Maryland and my mom in Florida/California. My mom often moved around to different areas and my dad, who insisted on sending me to private Christian schools when I was with him, kept changing denominations.
So basically, I ended up in a lot of different schools and was always "the new kid." Not helpful.

By far my worst experiences with bullies were ironically at the Christian schools. Both boys and girls would mercilessly mock my lack of fashion sense on an almost daily basis. Not very Christ-like, huh? Bad haircut, cheap clothes, worn-out shoes. I'd always hear "Hey, where's the flood?" (because I'd be wearing "highwaters") or "Where'd you get that shirt, Goodwill?". And I was called "SuperBowl" due to my terrible bowl haircut, and "Lunchman" because I often didn't have money for lunch.
When it was a boy doing the mocking, it would usually be accompanied by a punch in the back of the head or a trip and push. And because I got in a lot of fights with these bullies, I would often get sent to the principal's office for corporal punishment. The teachers and staff were so f***ing clueless and uninvolved that they deemed me as one of the bad kids/troublemakers. After all, I was getting in fights so I must be at fault.

Was all this hostility towards me because I had a "bad attitude" or 'victim mentality"? No. People are largely shallow and superficial and they judge others 90%+ on what they see externally without a whole lot of deeper thought.