Well, that's where I think forums like these should act as a springboard towards a more proactive and positive approach to socialising and dating, whether at home or abroad. Instead, most of what I can hear is endless streams of moaning and whining, often based on grossly exaggerated views of existing social problems (most AWs being feminist sluts etc.), and equally often portraying emerging countries like all-round heavens, at the risk of leaving a few mouths with a sour backtaste.S_Parc wrote:Starting from the *walking wounded* to a healthier state of mind takes some time and also, the ability to assert that this reality is one's own and not just a place where one has a position, is also challenging.publicduende wrote:See, this is another thing I have never been able to understand. Unless I have an interest in being against somebody whose benefit (or happiness) translates directly in my loss, I could be nothing but happy to hear from someone with a satisfactory social or love life, who wants to share it. That is purpose that brought me here. I looked at the "happier abroad" manifesto and thought I was a good fit. Little knew, at the time, that the kind of ongoing debate veered much more towards masochistic rants than proactive moves towards that happier abroad goal. If some of you guys see me as a "love boat" kind of guy, it could well be the same reason why I (and a few people who see life as I do) see them as hopeless moaners.
I for one have always written my posts trying to convey a sense of balance in judgments. I would personally avoid judging people and cultures without at least having a chance to see them in first person, even in part. That's what most of those perma-paranoid, "mad" members should do. A flight doesn't really cost that much. And, perhaps, after a week spent with a cute Filipina who knows how to worry about far more pressing issues (eg. where her tuition fees and 3 rice meals a day are coming from) than the latest feminazi blog article, their perspective will change to the better and they will stop their routinely descent into hell.
Whether one is caught in an over-rational (as you did) or over-emotional (as in my case) interpretation of his facts of life, it depends on his own personality and inclinations, as well as maybe the moods of the moment. I consider myself a highly educated person who has built much of his professional identity on hard subjects like maths, statistics and computer science. Yet, I would consider the childlike naivety with which I embrace new things for the sake of seeing "what's behind the rainbow", the sense of wonder that permeates my world view and my feelings, far superior than my intellectual abilities. I am still capable to cry my eyes out when listening to a song or watching a deep movie, or sometimes just reliving a fond memory. That, and not crafting a .NET component or designing yet another Value at Risk calc engine, is to me the ultimate testimony that I am alive. I live, and I love. Even at the risk of being burnt. As the ever-perceptive ABCDavid says somewhere else, all of this is still worthier than not having loved, or felt, at all.S_Parc wrote:That's partly why I'm here. I'd like to be that person, who's been there/done that, but at the same time, isn't caught up in happily ever after resolutions either. In a sense, I want to be the reversal to Dustin Hoffman's role in 'The Graduate', where in place of being in the movie, I can already see that scene on the bus, where Katherine Ross and him are blankly starring off into space because in effect, it's his decision in the moment ... w/o perspective, which got him there. I would have instead, been happily b@inking Anne Bancroft, cloak & dagger style , while working on plasticspublicduende wrote:Well, if that's the case, then the problem lies not in the conditioning from Hollywood and mainstream media, but the fact you guys seem to have lost the critical sense and the innate curiosity which usually compel people to explore and discover, even when the risks are not fully understood. You may watch the first couple of instalments of the Hostel franchise and conclude that Slovakia is not a place worth visiting, and so on. Yet I have two good friends who are married or engaged with Slovakian girls and they're just as happy as they should be. Suspension of belief is all good during those two hours of projection, but then sense and sensibility should be exercised to come down to earth again!
And Anne Bancroft is seriously hot
Sorry, I have never seen The Graduate so can't relate to your example.