Where next? Help me choose which city

[castlebasetone]

Not to be argumentative but to share my experience & findings here are some thoughts :

1; you are better off in NYC or Russia, stylish hipster poor girls are non-existent in asia if not a golddigger insta model. Most just dress for the hot humid weather

I'm a little confused what you meant here as they are definitely not non-existant. I have witnessed lots of cool girls in KL (check out The Rex) and even Penang (countless hipster cafés). Not so much in Cebu, but now that I've had a week to get around Manila, I've seen TONS in the more design oriented bars, cafes & shops, as there is a very present art, music & fashion scene.

To get a little sense of the scene in other cities, you can check Boiler Room events on youtube, for instance, here is Taiwan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE03ZxQ ... BoilerRoom

They range from low income to high income, it doesn't really matter if they are poor or not. Many wear second hand vintage clothing which is very cheap at the thrift stores for instance.

Problem I've found in my travels so far, is despite all the 'hype' - such girls are actually not very open to meeting or eager to date foreigners at all. Amongst that crowd, they tend to have the same nearly impenetrable standards, dating their local asian 'chad' or 'e-boy' peers...

Cold approaches are usually met with dirty 'why the hell are you talking to me' kind of looks, or they will tell me flat out that they are not open to meeting 'strangers' and only meet people through their social circle. When they are chill enough to strike up a friendly conversation, I give them a quick background of who I am and what I do, even showing them some videos of my performances to hopefully put them at ease a bit, and then invite them to coffee, to which they reply 99% of the time, "No thanks, I'm good, cool meeting you though" Ironically, I cannot walk out my door here without some security guard or store clerk asking me if I'm an actor or model yet that doesn't seem to strike the cool girls though, I'm really at a loss with it.

In other words, for my tastes, when it comes to this 'happier abroad' dream regarding an openness of the normal women to dating good men from foreign countries, I'm just not really seeing a remarkably positive reaction as 'advertised'. The foreigners that I do see with local girls tend to be with women who I would consider lower than my personal standards,

2; beach and big city is impossible; have you been in hong kong island, that's beach and big city but $5k monthly rent for a shoebox, you go find that elusive perfect beach clean metropolis, no one here can help you

Yea of course nothing is going to be perfect, just putting feelers out for a place that might be a good balance of some of these important factors. Phuket sounds decent from afar but I really don't know without scoping the dating market first hand.

3; biking in metropolis = suicide wish

For clarity, I don't mean motorcycles, I meant regular slow bikes as most big cities these days have a public bike or e-scooter service. In NYC, it's called Citibike. In Manila, it's called Moovr. KL had Beam. You generally ride these on sidewalks, or less busy streets and it's quite safe for getting around your locale, which is why it's a widely used public service project usually funded by a major bank.

Why not stick to USA where you are a celebrity?

A few reasons, I like very feminine women, and find Asian women to be the most attractive. So, it goes without saying that cool, attractive, single, feminine Asian women are going to be the minority of the population in USA and puts me in a difficult finding a 'needle in a haystack' type of situation with a poor chance of success. In Asia, obviously, the tables are turned from a purely statistical standpoint.

To make matters worse in America, women's standards for look are insanely high now, they select for "Chad" level bone structure - even before they select for a decent successful guy. And while I am 6' tall, white and successful there, it is still not enough to put me in a winning position in the dating market. I have pushed that envelope there as far as you possibly can, from the sidewalk, supermarket to the nightclub - certainly I have gotten lucky sometimes, but overall, it is a losing game. Finding a good long term relationship partner is not high on the priority list whatsoever there, at least not enough to loosen their standards for looks even a little bit.

My goal here is simply to live a somewhat better quality of life and put myself in a better position to find partnership with my type of high quality girl.

[Jackfruits]

Not to be argumentative but to share my experience & findings here are some thoughts :

1; you are better off in NYC or Russia, stylish hipster poor girls are non-existent in asia if not a golddigger insta model. Most just dress for the hot humid weather

I'm a little confused what you meant here as they are definitely not non-existant. I have witnessed lots of cool girls in KL (check out The Rex) and even Penang (countless hipster cafés). Not so much in Cebu, but now that I've had a week to get around Manila, I've seen TONS in the more design oriented bars, cafes & shops, as there is a very present art, music & fashion scene.

To get a little sense of the scene in other cities, you can check Boiler Room events on youtube, for instance, here is Taiwan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE03ZxQ ... BoilerRoom

They range from low income to high income, it doesn't really matter if they are poor or not. Many wear second hand vintage clothing which is very cheap at the thrift stores for instance.

Problem I've found in my travels so far, is despite all the 'hype' - such girls are actually not very open to meeting or eager to date foreigners at all. Amongst that crowd, they tend to have the same nearly impenetrable standards, dating their local asian 'chad' or 'e-boy' peers...

Cold approaches are usually met with dirty 'why the hell are you talking to me' kind of looks, or they will tell me flat out that they are not open to meeting 'strangers' and only meet people through their social circle. When they are chill enough to strike up a friendly conversation, I give them a quick background of who I am and what I do, even showing them some videos of my performances to hopefully put them at ease a bit, and then invite them to coffee, to which they reply 99% of the time, "No thanks, I'm good, cool meeting you though" Ironically, I cannot walk out my door here without some security guard or store clerk asking me if I'm an actor or model yet that doesn't seem to strike the cool girls though, I'm really at a loss with it.

In other words, for my tastes, when it comes to this 'happier abroad' dream regarding an openness of the normal women to dating good men from foreign countries, I'm just not really seeing a remarkably positive reaction as 'advertised'

2; beach and big city is impossible; have you been in hong kong island, that's beach and big city but $5k monthly rent for a shoebox, you go find that elusive perfect beach clean metropolis, no one here can help you

Yea of course nothing is going to be perfect, just putting feelers out for a place that might be a good balance of some of these important factors. Phuket sounds decent from afar but I really don't know without scoping the dating market first hand.

3; biking in metropolis = suicide wish

For clarity, I don't mean motorcycles, I meant regular slow bikes as most big cities these days have a public bike or e-scooter service. In NYC, it's called Citibike. In Manila, it's called Moovr. KL had Beam. You generally ride these on sidewalks, or less busy streets and it's quite safe for getting around your locale, which is why it's a widely used public service project usually funded by a major bank.

Why not stick to USA where you are a celebrity?

A few reasons, I like very feminine women, and find Asian women to be the most attractive. So, it goes without saying that cool, attractive, single, feminine Asian women are going to be the minority of the population in USA and puts me in a difficult finding a 'needle in a haystack' type of situation with a poor chance of success. In Asia, obviously, the tables are turned from a purely statistical standpoint.

To make matters worse in America, women's standards for look are insanely high now, they select for "Chad" level bone structure - even before they select for a decent successful guy. And while I am 6' tall, white and successful there, it is still not enough to put me in a winning position in the dating market. I have pushed that envelope there as far as you possibly can, from the sidewalk, supermarket to the nightclub - it is nearly impossible. Finding a good long term relationship partner is not high on the priority list whatsoever there.

My goal here is simply to live a somewhat better quality of life and put myself in a better position to find partnership with my type of girl.

a friend who has been 15+ years an English teacher in VN said that was the best decision of his life to find a good looking good girl.
he is now 38: when he went there he was extremely overweight, even by western standards, ate mostly junkfood etc. he lost his fat, met lots of normal girls and became friends with many of his students and eventually when he was 25 he met a cute 18yo girl who became his now wife. he did take her virginity when she was 19 but he did say he asked the parents for permission and proposed to her when she was 18yo.

at age 22 he was overweight, at age 25 he was a good looking gym rat chad so guess that helped and he was def not rich (I know the guy's parents were factory workers as he was the poor kid in school when we were young)

many of his coworkers in VN have something similar; lots of western ESL teachers bang the underage school kids he did tell me. Not saying you should become a pedo or anyone else should become a pedo, but lots of men use the work as a basis to meet young women.

a friend used to be a failed photographer and he was hosting free meetup events in Beijing and met people with the same passion and was introduced by a guy to his niece.

Okay, this all may sound frikkin weird and pedo style life, but probably best is to find with your passion

[castlebasetone]

Okay, this all may sound frikkin weird and pedo style life, but probably best is to find with your passion

Yes I know what you mean, it pays to develop a natural rapport in your niche. And I agree, that will certainly assist in finding a partner and open you up to people who would have been closed to meeting you without it. It just takes time.

I might add, this actually DID NOT help much in NYC as even though I had infinite social proof & experience in my niche, the standards were still largely insurmountable and the girls STILL choose lower quality guys who simply have the best looks.

On the flip side of that, I am just assessing the general attitude within the dating markets in each location, which you can get a sense of fairly quickly once your feet are on the ground and you start chatting with the women. It just isn't the friendly dating paradise that it is often sold to be, at least not with quality women.

Don’t get me wrong, I AM getting laid, and NEVER paying for it in both in NYC and here in SE Asia. But randomly getting laid and having a healthy pool of options for a life partner are two completely different things

[Jackfruits]

Okay, this all may sound frikkin weird and pedo style life, but probably best is to find with your passion

Yes I know what you mean, it pays to develop a natural rapport in your niche. And I agree, that will certainly assist in finding a partner and open you up to people who would have been closed to meeting you without it. It just takes time.

I might add, this actually DID NOT help much in NYC as even though I had infinite social proof & experience in my niche, the standards were still largely insurmountable and the girls STILL choose lower quality guys who simply have the best looks.

On the flip side of that, I am just assessing the general attitude within the dating markets in each location, which you can get a sense of fairly quickly once your feet are on the ground and you start chatting with the women. It just isn't the friendly dating paradise that it is often sold to be, at least not with quality women.

Don’t get me wrong, I AM getting laid, and NEVER paying for it in both in NYC and here in SE Asia. But randomly getting laid and having a healthy pool of options for a life partner are two completely different things

why change? you have a nice life in USA getting around and asia is just a dream. maybe latin America for you. more hipster fat Americans in latin America as well that have a delusional mindset they are gonna save the world

[peregrino]

Why not go to Los Angeles or some other part of California where there's beaches, Asian girls grow on trees and they're very open to hooking up with other races? The apartment prices are horrendous, but sounds like you were doing OK in NYC, so I think you could make it work?

Is it really about not wanting to drive or have a car? Then as an American you'll have to either stick to NYC, or adjust your expectations for living in a foreign country.

[gwele]

Absolutely, traveling alone is a blast! You get to do whatever you want, whenever you want. On my last solo jaunt to Dubai, I decided to shake things up and give wakesurfing a go. If Dubai is on your radar, you gotta try wakesurfing! I used YepRent and it was a breeze to book. All it took was 60 seconds on their site https://yeprent.com/wakesurf-dubai to set up my day on the waves. There's something seriously cool about carving up the surf as the sun goes down. It really took my solo travel vibes to a whole new level. Highly recommend!

[MrMan]

Absolutely, traveling alone is a blast! You get to do whatever you want, whenever you want. On my last solo jaunt to Dubai, I decided to shake things up and give wakesurfing a go. If Dubai is on your radar, you gotta try wakesurfing! I used YepRent and it was a breeze to book. All it took was 60 seconds on their site https://yeprent.com/wakesurf-dubai to set up my day on the waves. There's something seriously cool about carving up the surf as the sun goes down. It really took my solo travel vibes to a whole new level. Highly recommend!

I didn't know they called that wake surfing. I saw other people out there doing that when I was on water skis as a teen.

Someone I knew who worked in the navy said the Persian Gulf was full of snakes that would be all around the hull of the boat. I had said something about swimming in the gulf. Did they gather around you when you wiped out when you were wake surfing?

[kangarunner]

I saw other people out there doing that when I was on water skis as a teen.

I've literally never heard any grown man in my life refer to his younger years with the word "teen". Are you gay?

[MrMan]

I saw other people out there doing that when I was on water skis as a teen.

I've literally never heard any grown man in my life refer to his younger years with the word "teen". Are you gay?

Your lack of experience with English vocabulary doesn't make anyone else gay. Are you trying to find a partner or a fling or something? Homey don't play dat.