Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.

View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Mobile Friendly Theme

Filipinos and Happiness: Why we need to be serious about it

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

Post Reply
User avatar
Mr S
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2403
Joined: September 1st, 2007, 11:57 am
Location: Physical Earth, 3rd Dimensional Plane

Filipinos and Happiness: Why we need to be serious about it

Post by Mr S » April 16th, 2011, 12:03 pm ... -about-it/

There is enough evidence to suggest that Filipinos in general are preoccupied with the desire to be on a permanent state of euphoria or at least with being perceived to be a “happy-go-lucky� society no matter what circumstances they are in. Unfortunately, this national obsession with being “happy� or having a good time instead actually leads the Filipino people to a permanent state of misery because their pursuit of happiness is shallow and misguided.

Symbol of Filipino happiness

Because of our obsession with being perceived as a “happy-go-lucky� people, we unfortunately also come across as a people who do not take things too seriously even in times of crisis; which is why our social ills stay unresolved. In fact, Filipinos in general don’t even realize that our national psyche needs to be rehabilitated. Most Filipinos are of the belief that our corrupt public officials are solely to blame for the sad state of our nation. This is funny because the Filipino people are free to choose their public servants. And yet they prefer to choose someone incompetent — which is why they get the government they deserve.

The country remains Asia’s laggard perhaps partly because most Filipinos don’t have their priorities right. Most of us would rather pursue activities that cater to instant gratification because most of us want to be “masaya� all the time. We get instant gratification when we engage in activities that give us fleeting moments of happiness. Most often these are activities that are not well thought through and may even be impulsive. It could also involve being on a fiesta or celebratory mode more often than necessary even when we don’t deserve it. This also includes not participating in the running of the country and letting our public servants wreak havoc using public funds. Instead of being serious and more assertive about national issues, we dismiss topics pertaining to politics as something that we cannot do anything about or is none of our business.

Because Filipinos love a good time more than anything else, we don’t bother learning a new skill on our spare time. Most Filipinos don’t like the idea of working harder to elevate our status to one of being among the first-class nations in the world; we would rather wait for someone to do it for us. Unfortunately, because our society has become anti-intellectual, the intellectuals are driven to leave the country. The brain drain reduces our chances of competing with other nations whose aim is to be the best at what they do and excel at every endeavor.

It follows that since most Filipinos in general would rather have a good time than work hard, it is no surprise that they also love riding on the success of other Filipinos in the entertainment industry where fame and fortune carry away singers, actors, and even sportsmen — boxers in particular. It’s not that there is anything wrong with being happy for someone who achieves international recognition, it’s just that Filipinos tend to take it to the extreme and only idolize those who appear on TV and films due to their fame rather than those who work hard to excel in science and technology – those who can actually help elevate the status of the nation.

Too much “pakikisama� can be bad for our society.

Our love for a good time more than serious and reflective time seems to be associated with a uniquely-Filipino flavor of collectivism — “pakikisama� in the vernacular. Boxing champion Manny Pacquiao for example, brings temporary joy and induce exaggerated Filipino pride among Filipinos simply by winning a boxing match held in an international arena. Those who do not feel the same level of “pride� when he wins are seen as being unpatriotic, killjoy or worse, “walang pakisama“.

Those who see Pacquaio’s win as an individual achievement rather than a collective achievement also tended to be the same ones who are more concerned about the negative effects this national obsession with a boxing celebrity or any celebrity has on Philippine society. This concern is not without its merit since Filipinos also tend to idolize those with celebrity status and vote them in as public servants even if they are not qualified for public service and Manny Pacquiao having been voted into public office as Congressman is enough proof of this. Alarmingly, there are even some members of the Philippine public who are now supporting the idea of Pacquiao running for the Presidency one day.

It is not an exaggeration therefore to say that Filipinos who are labeled “killjoy� or “walang pakisama� are the same ones who are serious about the state of the nation and use their heads for critical analysis in most situations. Unfortunately, those who apply a critical mind in Philippine society are outnumbered by those who don’t, so the former ends up being bullied to submission or being helpless.

Too much good time can be bad for our society.

Most Filipinos would often say, “It’s better to see the glass half-full than half-empty.� But the more applicable proverbial expression to our society should be, “The glass is not half-full if it isn’t half-empty.� We can’t always pretend not to see the dark side of any given situation. Having an incompetent leader like President Noynoy Aquino for example, is a situation that has more dark side than bright side. If Filipinos continue to refuse to prepare for the worst case scenario, they might just get a rude shock one day upon realizing that they are already stuck between a rock and a hard place. Not that we are not yet stuck in a difficult situation; we already are, except some of us just don’t realize it yet or refuse to accept it and, worse, are not prepared for it.

There is this misconception among Filipinos that if people keep pointing at the facts and discussing the problems of our society, they are perceived as being unproductive or negative. Never mind that discussing our social ills could actually lead to the right solutions.

What is a healthier outlook in life then? Humans have different set of moods. Normal people have a baseline or set point of happiness. We bounce up and down from that baseline in response to short term events depending on the situation, like when we hear some bad news or good news. Most people normally return to their baseline after some time. Unfortunately, some of us think that we have to be above the normal baseline all the time to be considered to be a “happy� person, which is quite an impossible state to achieve because it means that in order to be “high� all the time, the natural tendency to be down after a high needs to be continuously overcome. And if we keep soaring higher, the longer the fall that is sure to come sooner or later.

If we prefer to constantly experience that “high� feeling, we also have to be constantly entertained by outside stimuli. This outside stimuli could come in the form of watching a spectacle on TV, the movies, being on the computer all day playing a video game, or being around a large gathering of family and friends having a party just to be entertained. In short, when our brain is being entertained all the time, we don’t have time to think or engage in self-reflection.

How do we sustain the baseline level of happiness? Being happy does not necessarily mean that we should always be in a gathering with friends having a ball or a party. Being happy does not necessarily mean that we should literally be laughing all the time or making jokes that make light of otherwise serious things. It would be more ideal to find happiness during our spare time doing some productive work that stimulates the imagination — like reading a good book or learning a new set of skills to keep our brains occupied and sharp. This sort of baseline happiness is more sustainable and healthier for the brain. It offers greater potential for monetary rewards, which can lead to being in a healthier mood for longer periods of time.

Caroline Hunt, a professor in psychology at the University of Sydney, Australia suggested that society would be better off if people backed away from their obsession with getting more happiness, because the activities to satisfy such an obsession is does more damage in the long-term. To quote what she said in an interview:

“There are a lot of misconceptions about what makes us happy, often involving unrealistic expectations of just how happy we could be. There’s a small industry suggesting what people should do to make themselves more happy but most of the time it would be more useful for people to accept that being unhappy or being in a state of melancholy some of the time can be OK. In fact it is part of being a human being.

In the book Against Happiness, author Eric Wilson emphasized that he finds it odd that sadness is seen as not a normal part of life but as a weakness, something to be eradicated.

“You should really embrace those dark parts of your life. They are natural. They are normal. It seems to me those darker sides of experience, those times when we are sad or sorrowful, we often learn things about ourselves that we would not learn had we simply remained content.�

No wonder most Filipinos never learn from their mistakes. They never have time to reflect because they are preoccupied with having a good time. After reading the statement above, one cannot help but recall how some Filipinos did not show any sympathy after the deaths of eight Chinese tourists in the Mendoza hostage crisis. School girls and uniformed policemen posed for photos smiling and laughing near the hijacked bus of the scene of the crime and posted the same photos on social networking sites for all the world to see. It exhibits how our society has such an underdeveloped sense of compassion. We just want to have a good time all the time.

Lack of substance leads to idiotic behaviour
One cannot forget too how President Noynoy Aquino (P-Noy) was caught smiling like a dog during a press conference a day after the Mendoza hostage crisis in which eight Chinese tourists died. After being criticized for his smiling face, his only excuse was “… I have several expressions. I smile when I’m happy, I smile when I’m faced with a very absurd situation…� to be fair to P-Noy, he really was caught in a very absurd situation at the time. He probably felt that smiling would lighten up the situation. Unfortunately, it just made it worse.

Where did the concept of being happy start?

It’s been said that the pursuit of happiness started in the United States when the Declaration of Independence guaranteed every individual the right to “pursue happiness�. Since then pop psychology has advocated the notion that in order to live a meaningful life, people should be happy and to be happy, you should always be “positive�.

The concept gave rise to a lot of self-help books written by positive mental attitude gurus who tend to recommend that people see the bright side of things rather than the negative. You could say that the concept is a marketing executive’s dream coming true because advertising agencies can continue to sell more products to make people feel “happy� by creating a need.

Unfortunately, with Filipinos copying anything “in� in American society, Philippine society had embraced this concept without bothering to analyze if the same concept is applicable to us as a people. And because we are such bad copycats, we do not really think about the social impact of adapting a concept that works for other cultures but not for ours. The Presidential system is a classic example of a concept that seems to work fine for Americans but obviously not for Filipinos because of our personality based politics. But I digress…

Americans on their part, have an individualistic society, which means that they pursue their own happiness on individual terms. They acknowledge that what might make someone happy won’t necessarily make others happy. Pursuing intellectual stimulus for example can be gratifying for some while just playing video games all day will have the same effect on others. The long term effect or damage of either activity is debatable but it has been proven time and time again that intellectual pursuits which may seem like such a boring activity to those who prefer to play video games, will yield more positive results in the future for any individual.

Some societies celebrate the uniqueness of each individual and respect the choices each individual makes; this results in a more vibrant and innovative society. In short, you won’t really find Americans who force other fellow Americans to be happy when an American boxer wins boxing matches or label others unpatriotic if they don’t.

The drawback of selling happiness as the key to a meaningful life also gave rise to the use of medication in some parts of the world especially the US. Big pharmaceuticals in the United States jumped on the bandwagon of the self-help gurus and managed to enter the happiness market by selling happy pills or anti-depressants. At least the US has regulations that serve as check-and-balance on the euphoria industry. But this is already capitalism at its finest and luckily enough, Philippine society has not gone down that path due to Filipino consumers lacking the funds to indulge in such products. It’s easy to conclude that the pursuit of feelings of happiness can be costly and dangerous, which really shouldn’t be the case. People just have to embrace the fact that we can’t always be blissfully happy or be in a state of euphoria all the time especially when there are situations when we should be in a somber mood.

Researchers in Melbourne, Australia have discovered that “positive thinking could be helpful, but you shouldn’t force it. For most people, deliberate attempts to be optimistic compromise their wellbeing.� In the book The Negative Side of Positive Thinking the author Simon Moss states “all these theories about positive thinking is overrated. Generally speaking, there are some people that generally think positive but if people are anxious then positive thinking is damaging.�

His statement is proof that Filipinos in general cannot and should not claim to be always “happy� despite their obstacles because the notion of a whole society that is always in a permanent of state of bliss is just pure fantasy. Filipinos who force fellow Filipinos to feel happy and patriotic about shallow achievements like Manny Pacquiao’s win or Charice Pempengo’s guest appearance in Glee are just being bullies.

It’s a shame this obsession with feel good moments lead Filipinos to an unhealthy mindset. We become permanent catatonics whose brains are always tethered to entertaining spectacles. It is for this reason that incompetent public servants keep getting voted in as head of the Republic like President Noynoy Aquino because Filipino voters just accept whatever is being fed to them by the media. They don’t use their critical analysis anymore because they don’t get a chance to when they are always preoccupied with having a good time.

We should learn to be more serious about our life and the condition we are in. At the state our country is in, we can’t always pursue having a good time especially since most of us don’t even have the means to have one or don’t even deserve it.
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.

Experienced Poster
Posts: 1384
Joined: August 23rd, 2007, 5:17 pm

Post by The_Adventurer » April 17th, 2011, 10:46 am

Scary, but makes me wonder if this is part of the reason I got on so well there. I think this is also why the place can be great for retired guys who have a decent enough pension to live well. My American friend, who managed to retire at 38 or so, with a small pension, and has a tenant in his US home bringing in rental income, gets to play video games all day and bang his cute teenage wife.
“b***y is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of b***y in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan

Freshman Poster
Posts: 245
Joined: March 7th, 2011, 12:22 pm

Post by TRADER1972 » April 17th, 2011, 12:43 pm

I used to read the get real blog back in 2006-7, based on my interest from living over there. They really tell it like it is.
I would rather make $2000 a month working for myself, then $4000 a month working for a bitch.

Freshman Poster
Posts: 245
Joined: March 7th, 2011, 12:22 pm

Post by TRADER1972 » April 17th, 2011, 12:48 pm

Terrence wrote:Scary, but makes me wonder if this is part of the reason I got on so well there. I think this is also why the place can be great for retired guys who have a decent enough pension to live well. My American friend, who managed to retire at 38 or so, with a small pension, and has a tenant in his US home bringing in rental income, gets to play video games all day and bang his cute teenage wife.
Sounds good to me Terrance, even though I never played video games.

User avatar
Site Admin
Posts: 27632
Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm

Post by Winston » January 8th, 2012, 1:26 pm

billy wrote:Looks like Pinoy experience some form of happiness
When I don´t think living in north korea is fun. So, maybe
Pinoys have all reasons to be happy. They have what they need,
is that not enough reason to be happy.

When are we allowed to be happy?

Terrence, I think this could be a great plan for me. Maybe without
the video game. I want to to something active. Maybe open a
dance studio. Pinoys will love it.
Not exactly billy. They do not have what they need. Most Filipinos are seriously lacking in money and deprived of comfort and nutrition. Their happiness is mostly a self-delusion that they create to compensate for their misery and dead end situation that they can't get out of. They have no chance to escape poverty, so in order to cope, the produce an inner happiness to compensate. Otherwise, they have nothing to live for, since all external factors are against them. Their happiness is not exactly fake. It's more of a self-delusion they need in order to cope with it all.

It's sort of like how some evolutionary biologists say that the human brain developed an innate belief in the afterlife and God(s), in order to cope with the anxiety of death and mortality. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it's sort of the same in principle.

Also, with their IQ of 85, the principle that "ignorance is bliss" also comes into play. Dogs are happy for no reason too. Remember?
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

Freshman Poster
Posts: 52
Joined: October 20th, 2010, 7:23 am

Post by baletetree » January 17th, 2012, 6:32 pm

Happiness is not the culprit. The author's minions, I mean "fans" go to online forums and bash the government until the issue dies down. Nothing is ever done. All talk, no action. So being as grumpy as the author is not a solution either!

And Pinoys never claimed Pacquiao victory, he's just an admired athlete who brought pride to our country, like Zidane to France, Velasquez to Mexico. Author's claims are ridiculous. Do I smell envy?

Poor leadership, lack of education, and poor self-empowerment are some of the more valid reasons why many issues remain unresolved. I agree with Winston to some extent that being happy is some sort of a defense mechanism.
Glory Glory YNWA

Freshman Poster
Posts: 52
Joined: October 20th, 2010, 7:23 am

Post by baletetree » January 18th, 2012, 2:50 am

I'd rather see people who can still be happy in spite of their problems. The solution is not being less happy. The real solution is to give them a sense of empowerment that they can change their lives and their community for the better. I've been working as a volunteer in a poor community for eight years. My friend is a very good leader, he transformed the people. Right now, he managed to erect a school despite not being rich himself. We are moving there in a few months. As a gesture of goodwill, we are now planting a garden for the public school that supported our program.

If you live in the Philippines, I suggest that you spend a few weekends in NGOs like Gawad Kalinga who have very good programs in community development. I'm not part of them, btw. It's an eye opener.

Here's a photo essay from Asian Development Bank. The transformation is awesome: ... -healthier
Glory Glory YNWA

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Last post

Return to “Asia, China, Philippines, Thailand”