Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.

View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile

This Is What Happens When You Marry a Bar Girl

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

This Is What Happens When You Marry a Bar Girl

Postby anamericaninbangkok » May 30th, 2013, 6:56 am

Story of a sad sack who gets reamed hard in the yin-yang


The first thing to do in analyzing this video objectively is to take away the nationalities of the characters.
Ted is just Ted; Tip is just Tip, Mint is just Mint. What country they hail from is immaterial.

In the beginning of the video Ted makes the comment that when someone needs you, you feel obliged to take care of her. Some might call this codependent. When you feel obliged to take care of a prostitute, I call this the Captain Save-a-Whore syndrome.

Mistake #1 - trying to save a woman. Ted is no Richard Gere and Tip is no Julia Roberts - this isn’t a movie, it’s real life.

He says he knew something wasn’t right and he knew he was being conned, yet instead of trusting his intuition, he proceeded and got screwed over.

My response to the above video:


Mistake #2 - he didn’t trust his instincts. This is something men and women both struggle with. They feel something isn’t right yet stay in the situation.

He is shown flirting with numerous bar girls - most of which are unattractive and he then comments how some people say to him, “the poor little Thai bar girls, blah, blah, blah are being forced into working in the bar and that it’s a business transaction.

“They do exactly what they want to at a price acceptable to them. I’m a consumer. They’re happy, I’m happy. What the hell is wrong with that?â€￾

Mistake #3 - If he’s a consumer, then his dealings with the women are nothing more to business transactions. This comes back to haunt him.

Whether legal or illegal, whether moral or amoral, prostitution takes place all over the world. People use electricians to wire their homes and businesses, plumbers to fix their sinks and toilets, and prostitutes to take care of their sexual and emotional needs. Prostitutes are not supposed to be used as wives.

Ted goes on to say, “If you get divorced at 32, not much on the cards for you. All you have to look forward to is three kids and loads of emotional baggage. You come to Thailand and suddenly there’s all these nubile young things that genuinely want to be with you.â€￾

Mistake #4 - You’re in a bar with bar girls who want your money and are willing to exchange their time for your money. That does not mean they genuinely want to be with you for the right reason.

“Suddenly, a beautiful girl was in the corner of my eye and each time I glanced, she was smiling at me.â€￾

Mistake #5 - Ted was obviously not accustomed to getting attention from women but just because a woman smiles at you doesn’t mean you have to take her to your room or more importantly, fall for her.

“Suddenly, she’s in control of my money.â€￾

Once married, he says, “I could have opened a bank account but I basically turned everything over to her.â€￾

This is the ultimate in stupidity. He barely knew this girl who was working as a bar girl and he’s going to give her his life savings because “she’s good with money.â€￾ So good, it became difficult for him to get spending money from her or HBO.

Mistake #6 - when it because difficult for you to get money to fill your motorbike up with gas or to get HBO, this is the time to stand up, be a man, and tell her you want that money. Yell, scream, discuss, do whatever you need to do but you should have manned up and not allowed her to dictate the money down to every satang.

Mint seemed to have quite a bit of influence over Tip and when she said, “I jealous farang,â€￾ those words gave insight into her persona. I’m jealous of Donald Trump - how positive are these feelings? You can understand that life is what you make it, you can let the wealth of others motivate you, or you can let it make you bitter. In her case, it seems like she’s bitter.

She also said that when Ted and Tip got married, they had so much money. Pay, pay, pay, pay…pay for everything.

At least someone acknowledges this. Too bad it doesn’t mean much in the end. Another thing that gets me is when Mint tells of how she’s taking care of her entire family. Ted paid everything for Tip, he’s now supposedly part of her family, and yet she throws him out?

Ted had a problem - he didn’t have the sort of woman he wanted and he felt unwanted. Tip had a problem - she was desperate for a better life for herself and he daughter. We all want this. Once she met Mint, she gained the confidence to look for a foreigner who might have the solution to her problem. That foreigner was Ted.

When Tip made the comment, “Thai people work very hard, little money. Farang work a little bit, big money,â€￾ it showed how very little she knows about foreigners. I’m sure many, many Farang would disagree with her statement, myself included. For that matter, I think many Thais who are well off and had to work hard for their money would disagree.

Viewers may not know this but at the very end when Tip is walking through the field, she says, “I want to work as an air hostess.â€￾ Clearly, she is delusional. In my opinion, the chance of her being hired by an airline to work as a stewardess is ZILCH.

It is easy to blame Ted for being foolish or Tip for being a thief. It is easy to blame the cultural differences. The truth is that it takes two to tango.

Ted broke a golden rule - do not get emotionally involved with a prostitute. Tip let her need and greed justify her actions.

She came off in this video as a straight-up thief and she should be lucky she didn’t marry a man who had some balls. But then again, this is probably why she was with him. He was easily manipulated and she knew this.

I should say that this video is reflective of a very small percentage of Thai women. Most Thai women do not work as prostitutes and never would consider doing so. Just like anywhere else, there are good women and bad women. There is a saying here in Thailand, “Tong rujak khun nan nan.â€￾ I need to know you for a long time. Maybe if more men applied the golden rule, didn’t let the little head think for the big head, and remembered to take time to get to know a person, we would hear less stories like Ted and Tips'.
Junior Poster
Posts: 564
Joined: May 11th, 2013, 7:23 am
Location: Bangkok, Thailand

Check out our Dating Sites and HA International Romance Tours!

Postby Contrarian Expatriate » May 30th, 2013, 8:23 am

This man exudes ARROGANCE more than anything else. He is a beer swilling, fat, dumpy, brit who likely feels he is the prize of the universe.

His loneliness makes him into a Captain Save-A-Hoe, and he thinks his little "trust tests" are worth a damn on a calculating professional scam artist. While he is attempting to cultivate her into a wife, she is cultivating him into a dupe.

Now he is all sad and blue when he brought it on himself but was deluded by his own ego.
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:
Contrarian Expatriate
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2052
Joined: December 3rd, 2009, 6:57 am

Postby anamericaninbangkok » May 30th, 2013, 8:30 am

He was delusional, for sure.
Junior Poster
Posts: 564
Joined: May 11th, 2013, 7:23 am
Location: Bangkok, Thailand

Return to Asia, China, Philippines, Thailand

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest