Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
I have an interest in Japanese culture, and I think Japanese girls are very pretty. I also appreciate how intelligent they are. I feel that from what little exposure I have had to Japanese society (by talking to Japanese people) that intelligence and deep thinking are valued more there than they are here in the USA. I don't believe in the stereotype that Japanese are like boring automatons--it's totally contrary to my experience.
I find it very hard to socialize and relate to American women my age (mid 20's). I don't like dance clubs. I am average-looking at best (I am being kind to myself here)--not going to win any male beauty contests. And I am an American with South Asian ancestors (with light skin but dark hair and eyes) and of average height, so I can't really fit the Teutonic ideal of handsomeness.
I feel that by being in decent shape and not being an idiot I should be at least a little ahead of the curve, despite my lack of perfect looks, but that doesn't really seem to be the case.
I don't want to get married or have children, but I do want to date women without using them and throwing them away, "monger" style..that isn't me either. So, while I am not traditional, I am not a monger or "PUA".
How do you think I'd fare in Japan as far as dating would be concerned, given these factors? Do you need western-style "game" in Japan? Or is it counter-productive and a turnoff?
Prefer answers from people who have spent time in Japan. I don't believe the articles that say Japan is ruined or that complain about ten million things wrong with Japan. I am not expecting to land in some sort of paradise...I just want to know if I have a chance at getting dates there with smart and friendly women in their 20's (or even a little older).
Let's get together and feel alright.
Hopefully you'll get some answers from those who know. I think PublicDuende has been there, and FSchmidt as well. And Yohan has been posting lately. A guy called TheAdventurer or something used to post, he may still be available by PM.
Just my opinion, but from several things you said, I feel you may be precisely on target going to Japan. (Your "unusual" looks, not wanting children, wanting intelligence and depth in a woman.)
Re the looks, just look at how they draw whites in Asian cartoons. White skin, dark hair and eyes. They may consider you quite striking.
Re gf's not wives and kids, well that's the CW (conventional wisdom), is that Japanese women are more likely to date foreigners, less likely to marry them. Perfect for you.
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
Use the "rule of thirds". 1/3 of folks who go there will have a good time, 1/3 will have a mediocre time, and the remaining 1/3rd will regret having left the house.
Until you actually go, you won't know which of the 1/3 you will fall into.
I was there a long time ago, but I don't think that a South Asian look would do well dating-wise in Japan. But Japan is an interesting place to visit. I am going back for a visit in September and will post what I find.
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture
I lived for a year in Japan. I had an okay time and lots of the people I knew loved it. I think things have taken a drastic turn for the worse since I was there. Bad to worse economics does have a plus side lots J-girls want to get the h*ll out of Japan. I would say J-girls are more receptive than K-girls (lived there also). I am not attractive but even I was getting girls without trouble.
Was teaching english, one of the other teachers I knew had poor social skills (in fact his brothers best friend called him a weirdo freak behind his back) and was not good looking. He got married to a not too bad looking J-girl.
A lot of the younger Jap girls are into the snaggle teeth look, which is rather ugly as hell. They actually go to the dentist to get their teeth messed up looking like they need major braces. It's totally gross, but they think it's attractive looking. Every time I interview a Jap chick here in PI they all have messed up teeth and I can't help staring at their mouth.
Japan is full of radiation too, I wouldn't want to live there...
The smart ones are leaving they are actually starting to build Japanese villages now in parts of the Philippines, saying they are for retirees, but I think they are places parts of the population can escape to. I know there is one being built outside of Cebu, not sure when it will be completed. There are a lot of Japanese in Baguio area now of PI. Many are there learning English then trying to move to some other country.
You probably could find a job teaching English in Baguio pretty easy, although the pay probably wouldn't make you rich but you could survive I guess.
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
If you are interested in Asia, Japan is a good place to start.
Even if you don't like it here, you can easily continue to other Asian countries.
In Japan, to look for a girl, best is to do it in the big cities, there are no Japanese women in rural areas, not so many in smaller cities and do not expect them to be able to communicate in any foreign language.
However all major cities in Japan have a surplus of young women, many of them left rural areas and prefer a more comfortable life in the large towns.
To find a reliable woman takes time, you will not find good women for a long-term relationship somewhere in bars and discos for foreigners. Japan still is more into socializing and introduction with some people between you and her.
What is good in Japan is that nobody of her family will ask you for money, Japan is not like Vietnam or Thailand.
In Japan there is also a large community of Filipina, Chinese and other Asian women working here. Easy to meet them, no need to think only about Japanese women.
About Japanese, they have the advantage compared to most other Asians to be strong against cold weather, and they don't mind low temperatures in USA/Canada and Europe. They also can easily travel around, as tourists visafree for most countries, no problems also with currency restrictions.
There are also no problems with a spouse visa if the foreigner wants to live in Japan, the Japanese spouse visa is quickly issued and includes full Japanese national health insurance and labor permit.
AH, the HERALD!
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NOW I get your avatar. The travel, the exploring....
+1 to "just go".
I've been there 4 times, mostly to Tokyo but I did a little bit of traveling the last time I went.
I didn't do so well with dating, but no doubt I'd do better if I stayed there 6 months and joined some groups (Japanese people are very group orientated).
Think beyond dating as well, as there is just so much stuff to do in Japan, and it's much less of a cultural wasteland than is China.
I see that you finally realize the symbolism of the Silver Surfer.
"Allow me to show you the Power Cosmic!" - Silver Surfer
I asked you a question under the question thread but got no response. You mentioned that you married a Japanese woman during the 1970's. I don't know if your American back ground or German nationality back ground but from reading your post you have this hard view that American women are horrible. My question is if you were American or even German ..were the western women in 70's that bad. Because I always thought western women got worst during the 80s and 90's.
And since you lived in Japan for so long how much did Japanese women change over the years. It was back in the 80's that Japanese women were consider the ideal bride but nowadays that's not true at all.
Another +1 to "Just Go"
You like Japanese culture and women, so it seems like a natural, but you will never know until you go there. I visit Japan 3 or 4 times a year and generally like it. It has lots of pros and cons like any place, but hard to say which pros and cons will matter most to you. Younger Japanese women seem to be very curious about foreigners, despite the societal pressure to just conform. Many Japanese men seem to have some really strange perversions and it seems like Japanese women these days are less willing to put up with these perversions. On the other hand, Japanese women seem to have their own set of complexities as well and sometimes it is really difficult to know what they are really thinking since there is so much focus on avoiding conflict and loss of face and presenting a consensus front. I always get the impression when I am there that a lot of Japanese, both men and women, are just not happy there, and one of my best female Japanese friends in the US (who is very real and down to earth, but unfortunately already married) says she was miserable her whole time in Japan and that she would never move back to Japan even though she could easily do so if she wanted to. She confirms that Japan is not a happy place for a lot of Japanese people, but it's difficult for them open up about it with foreigners due to their culture. Plenty of opportunities to meet some really attractive J-women there, although it really helps to be introduced through a mutual acquaintance.
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