Update: WE ARE BACK ONLINE! The Forum has been RESTORED! See announcement here. If there are any problems or issues, please report them in the announcement thread. Note: Unfortunately I was not able to import the posts made after the crash (on Sept 18) into the restored forum. However, I exported all the posts submitted after the crash into a Word file, so you can download it, find your posts and re-post them. Download the posts here. Thanks for your patience and welcome back everyone!
Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
12 posts • Page 1 of 1
I have a regular Filipina gal that comes and goes from my place. She stays with me for a week or two, then goes home for a bit then comes back, etc. While she is not here I meet other girls, or try to, as I have had many flakes lately. She knows it and accepts it as normal, and wants to know about my adventures meeting other girls here.
I've been telling her about my latest round of girls that usually vanish after chatting with them online or texting. She says the reason they flake fast is because I tell them I have met other girls. She says most Filipinas have this almost impossible expectation that a foreigner will come there to meet them and only them, and rescue them from their life of poverty, but somehow not meet even one other girl. I told her that seems totally unrealistic, and she admitted it is, but said this is what most want and expect. If they don't get that, they will ignore foreigners even if they have met just one other girl.
This makes sense to me now, because I've noticed if I admit to a girl I'm with another girl at the moment, but can meet them later, they will always say forget it, not interested. They then say you must be meeting a lot of other girls and so have fun, but they won't meet you. This is after telling them you are with one other girl. So apparently even one is a lot.
It also explains why some of the girls I chatted with and met admitted that some old foreign guy they met online is coming to visit and marry them. They have never met him, but they know he is the one, and they have been chatting on skype for over a year. It doesn't matter he is 70 something, and they are only 21, he is the one, and they only met me just to be polite or just to say they had met one other foreigner before the one they marry.
I've known several other girls that married the 2nd foreigner they met. I was the first, but the 2nd guy was "the one". Even though they will be a widow within a few years, they only think of the moment and no long term planning is made, as is usually the case here.
So my honesty in telling girls I have met other girls is killing me she says. Even if I lied and said I hadn't met other girls, they wouldn't believe me, but it would be better than admitting I had. Lying here is of course a national past time, so if they do it maybe I should too?
well come on man if your chatting with a girl online dont expect her to meet you if your screwing another girl. but if your just saying you went on a date then it seems silly they wouldn't want to meet you also. although the nurse girl did meet me even though i still had a girlfriend which was odd but she wouldn't go home to my hotel cause i had a girlfriend she later claimed.
if you dont have a steady girlfriend just say you have no one and are single and not seeing anyone. why bother telling them you have a girl when you really dont she is just a F buddy.
i agree that filipinas will marry the first guy that proposes to them. They are waiting for the first sucker to take them out to the REAL WORLD
Acting like it's a surprising revelation that telling one girl that you're seeing other girls and then the girl flakes, reminds me of the classic "I'll alert the media" line from Arthur. The scene's final line is exactly what Will wants, though probably not from Gielgud
Check out my blog @ http://www.marriedafilipina.com
In the PI you generally have to tell white lies first then down the road after you've already hooked them in emotionally can you start telling the truth about your's and their's reality. Sorry but Filipinos that live by telling the truth regularly is a rarity in their country. It's opposite of what's expected behavior in the West, but it is what it is. If you can adapt to it while in PI then you will succeed. If you call out Filipinos for lying half the time about everything then you'll end up accomplishing nothing in the long run. I had to learn the hard way with my kid's mother since I used to take everything for her word, then after a few years realized her word isn't worth much. So once I adapted to that and let regular white lies slide by without calling her on them all the time things got easier to deal with. Now it doesn't mean I ignore them either, I just deal with her and other Filipinos lies more tactfully then I might do in a Western country where we were taught to call them out for it. That doesn't work very well in PI, as well as other Asian countries.
One way to vet liars is to look at their hands and tell them to make their fingers straight. The straighter their fingers the more truthful they are more apt to be, the more bent or crooked their fingers are the more lies they are prone to tell. It's proven palmistry and I've noticed it to be factual from personal experiences. Helps to weed out girls you first meet, trust me.
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
Starting to think so.
In other words, what you're saying is, don't cause them to lose face. Making them lose face is the worst thing that can happen to them, and when they lose face, it's damaging to the relationship.
But how does one in the PI tactfully deal with more serious offenses, such as embezzling the savings, or straying outside the marriage? (Not saying it happens in your family.)
The "straight fingers" lie detector is fascinating! I hadn't noticed that. Thanks for he tip!
Bent ? As in from side to side or bent in towards making a fist type bent? Another tool I used to use, thought I don't know how much help it will be with a foreign language, is handwriting analysis. I suppose if you can get them to write out something in English....
If they dot or put marks inside their O's consistently, they are liars. Also if their letters lean left, they hold back or or of the withdrawn type. Leaning to the right, they are forward & outgoing. The higher the cross on their T's means higher self esteem as does larger font. Handwriting analysis has come in handy in the insurance business where people have to routinely sign an application. Used to find GF's on my insurance route using some of these writing tools as well as knowing their birth sign in advance.
My favorite saying in the Philippines is, "That's a lie"! My wife just laughs whenever I say it.
Basically, the more arrogant and attention seeking a Filipina is the more likely she is to lie to you. After a while you can weed the bad ones out by appearance alone. However, the ones that lie the most are more likely to sleep with you on the first date.
6 out of the 7 Filipinas I have dated slept with me on the first date. A couple of them who were very young, 15 minutes into the first date.
Does the straight hands work on Western men too, to determine if they are liars? I have many lying friends. I will have to look at their hands and see.