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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
1 post • Page 1 of 1
Greetings everyone. This is my first post. It's nice to have a venue to discuss the topics that are welcome here, namely living in foreign countries and the women in those places. Men and women are so different. Gender is a big issue in life. But if I said these things back home the PC brigade would be out to lynch me. It's all cultural they say. Just treat ladies like you would one of the boys. Right.
Well over the past few years I have been to Asia three times. Most of that time I have spent here in Thailand, which I have decided is not for me. A series of events helped me reach that conclusion, including growing exasperated with the general day to day of living in a super corrupt country with shitty roads. Corruption I actually have less of a problem with than the roads. I would rather get eaten by sharks than die on an expressway.
But for the purposes of this topic I want to emphasize the other big problem I have with settling in Thailand long term and with a Thai woman. Language. I am a writer and somewhat of an armchair intellectual. I value conversation about a variety of topics. Yes, to me, language is STRONGER than love. Because I have loved a few Thai women, and it broke my heart and caused me to shed some tears that I could not connect with them on the deeper level I wished I could have simply because I can't speak Thai and their English is at a 5th grade level (if that).
Last September I spent a few weeks in Hong Kong and while there I had a series of experiences that made me wonder if I need to focus my energy on populations of Southern Chinese descent (basically any diaspora, though modern Chinese expats in foreign countries are increasingly Northern, historically Guandong and other SOuthern provinces were where Chinese left from). I do believe there is something different about the Southern Chinese, something unique to their culture that is not common to others. I don't mean just Cantonese, I also mean for instance the Hokkien of Malaysia.
Much of this, of course, is language. These populations left China to areas where the British were settled, of course, as the British controlled so much of S. Chinese trade. So the highest concentration of Chinese in Malaysia is in Penang, a historic British colonial port. As I noted, language is a deal breaker for me, and the English is better in Hong Kong, Penang, and other lesser concentrations such as Yogyakarta than it is in most other Asian countries and cities.
But while in Hong Kong and on one of my many trips to Georgetown, Penang I began to sense something else. Last summer in Hong Kong I had some of the best and THE most romantic few weeks of my life. At the hostel I stayed at Hong Kongers would come up and talk to me out of nowhere. One girl offered me beer and just struck up conversation. Another girl I ended up making out with within minutes of meeting her. These ladies were eccentric outliers I am sure and they both seemed to have unique issues. One was a lesbian (the beer one) and the other actually seemed a little autistic (don't judge me for making out with her). But still, it was amazing! Not only that, but guys would talk to me too, just chatting. I am not used to guys talking to me who don't want something from me. I usually don't have guy friends but I felt like I could befriend HK guys.
Then came the pivotol series of experiences. I went on the Tinder app and ended scoring a date with this attractive looking HK girl. We met and hit it off over lunch, then we ended up spending the evening together, walking around HK. She liked to walk, another important trait to me. I can't stand girlfriends who don't like walking.
This ended up being the most attentive, loyal girl I have ever interacted with. I escalated pretty quickly and started to doubt that she was a good girl because she let me make out with her HEAVY in hidden HK doorways at midnight. She took me into a sex toy shop before that. She was into it and clearly a sexual being, but the whole time she was like 'are you staying in HK'? 'Can you stay in HK?' I REALLY respected that, how she started bargaining within hours of meeting her. None of the pretending to be in love, aloof, etc. She was attracted to me yes. I got her turned on, yes. But she was a practical person with the future in mind and that convinced me that she was not the type to just f**k random dudes.
I couldn't take her to the hostel and she lived with parents, so I dropped her off at 2am, after getting my hands ALL over her. Now this is not a 10 girl. But I don't want a 10 or even an 8. Of course, if I direct my energies at S. Chinese demographics I won't get a woman as stunning as a Korean or Japanese woman (most beautiful ethnicities in the world IMO). But I don't care. Part of that is because of the ensuing week after I met this HK gal...
We met again the next day. She was a little late but always showed up and was always attentive. She was like my tour guide in HK. She even took me to where she works and her office. She made it clear she was looking for a future and I respected that so much. She was an academic, another demographic, like English speakers, that I realize I can not deviate from because I need deep conversation to sustain my interest beyond a few dates and hookups.
We ended up getting a love hotel together. I think she actually took it personally when I said 'You're a bit sheltered'. She was trying to prove to me how adventurous she was! We spent the next day together and she did a series of other things that really impressed me. All the time I kept repeating 'I am poor, I can;t afford HK, I have no money' in case she was a gold digger, but I really think she was a good girl even though she slept with me. We kept having conversations about how I could stay in or near HK. 'You can teach English' she said. 'But I don't have a degree' I replied. 'You can teach in Shenzhen'. 'But I really don't like living in China' I said, 'I'm unhappy there'. This girl had a healthy family, her parents got along well and were still together. That was probably part of it.
I have visited Korea, and always thought I would end up with a Korean or Japanese woman. Physically they are stunning but otherwise not so much. The mysteriousness of them loses its appeal. And lots of them drink and smoke and party, which I don't like.
I know this sounds picky, but this was a pivotal experience in HK. I didn't date in Penang but from observation the Hokkien there were similar to HK Cantonese. Perfect English, fun loving, practical, not to flashy and materialistic (a little shopping is okay, but Korean woman put HK women to shame with materialism, in general). These gals like simple pleasures like family, events, parks, street food.
I wonder how I would fare in Taiwan? I know what Winston thinks about that but any other opinions? Because the English is good there. Mainland girls are out for me because they tend to be nationalistic. I support HK and Taiwan independence. I love mainland girls and their general demeanor and personalities, and their English is better than Thais, but not as good as HK's. Filipinas seem warm and fun loving kind of like S. Chinese and have good English but they are not as well educated. My wife will certainly be college educated because I will not be able to sustain my love for her if I have to be careful of using words she won't understand or can't talk about current events with her.
I think I have really narrowed my target demographic down to S. Chinese women but I would like to hear from Taiwan. Taiwan looks like a stunning country and I am considering taking a Mandarin course there this summer. Indonesian women have great English but most are Muslim which is a bit of a deal breaker for me. What about Vietnam? They seem like Southern Chinese in some ways, but I don't know about the language ability. The English among HK and Malaysian Chinese is top notch.
I am looking for good girls not partiers and drinkers and smokers and also S. Chinese women seem to be less into partying and clubbing. I want a partner who has low partner count. Hypocritical because I have a HIGH partner count but I have a checkered past. Girls who drank, smoked, f***ed and got tattoos also have checkered pasts. I need a good sweet girl to balance out my residual issues (though I am functional and on my way to improving my life).
I wonder if you guys have any thoughts and thanks.