Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
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- Joined: March 28th, 2016, 9:09 pm
Winston wrote:Hi all,
Me and El Caudillo met the other day. We got along great. He's very down to earth, aware and an honest freethinker. We agreed on a lot of things and had similar observations. Some of the things we agreed on were:
1. Taiwanese girls seem to lack curiosity. When you talk to them, they don't ask "Where are you from?" like girls in other Asian countries do.
2. They also don't put much into a conversation. If you start a conversation with them, they either try to end it as soon as they can, or put no effort into it. They just aren't into talking to strangers at all.
Yet in spite of all this, when you go out in Taiwan, you see couples everywhere, both young and old. And in most of these couples, the male is usually NOT attractive at all. Many of them are even less attractive than me. Yet they are usually with pretty/cute Taiwanese girls. How do you explain that? It's baffling. And it looks like any guy can get a girlfriend in Taiwan.
I can only think of these explanations:
1. In Taiwan, you are supposed to meet people at school and work, or through mutual friends only. Not by talking to strangers. Taiwanese girls prefer to date and befriend guys they went to school with or work with. That's what makes them COMFORTABLE. To them, being comfortable around a guy is everything. They'd prefer to talk to an ugly guy they know and went to school with and are comfortable with, than a handsome attractive stranger. This means if you are a stranger, you virtually have no chance, because Taiwanese females are uncomfortable, closed and stuck up toward strangers.
2. Life is determined mostly by destiny. If you aren't meant to be in Taiwan, you won't find a good dating or social life there and won't have a girlfriend or wife. If you are meant to be there, then God or the universe will send you a girlfriend or wife to be your companion. If something is meant to be, it will come naturally and in the flow of things. You can't just "make it happen".
3. Taiwanese and Westerners have a mental barrier that makes them too different to vibe together or connect at all. Taiwanese women seem like a different species, almost like alien clones with no soul or emotion, kind of like in the film "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" from 1978. So I can see why this would be. Plus when you see foreigners in Taiwan, they are usually hanging out with other foreigners, not local Taiwanese. Either that, or they are with Westernized Taiwanese or Asian Americans. This lends further credence to explanation #3. Basically, people who are too different do not feel comfortable with each other. They don't vibe well. Just like when a lion and a hyena meet out in the wild, they know right away that they are enemies, not friends, because they are competing species.
4. If you are unique and a freethinker, you will not connect with very many women anyway. Freethinkers are on a different wavelength than most people are. And Asian women especially tend to be staunch conformists to society, even more so than White women are. This means there will be very few Asian women who can relate to you if you're a freethinker or unique. Being unique also means you won't be able to connect with many people in general.
5. When you don't fit into a culture, you don't shine or radiate. Hence, you will have lower energy and not draw women as you would if you were in your element. Your self-esteem will be lower too since the culture does not validate you or bring out the best in you. Good luck doesn't happen to you when you are in an incompatible culture, and this includes girlfriends, because there's no synergy or chemistry with you and others.
El_Caudillo also said that he noticed that in Taiwan, when a white guy sees another white guy, they don't usually talk to each other or say hi. But in China, they usually do. It's as if the antisociality of Taiwan rubs off on white guys, so that they become the same, absorbing the Taiwanese habit of ignoring strangers and not being open.
We also notice the following truisms about middle class people in general.
1. Middle class people tend to be easily offended, more so than working class or lower class people.
2. Middle class people tend to be more politically correct, rather than truthful or brutally honest.
3. Their friendships tend to be superficial and not meaningful.
4. They tend to be snobby and judgmental and look down on others just because they are different.
5. They are cliquish in their social behavior and exclusive. Not very inclusive or open with strangers.
6. They prefer fake greetings and fake optimism, saying that they are always "doing great" when asked "How are you?"
But poor people who work in blue collar jobs tend not to adopt the above and are more real and less into political correctness. Have you all noticed all this too? It means that middle class people aren't easy to get along with, even if you're middle class yourself.
I come from an upper middle class background, yet I'm very down to earth, genuine, soulful and philosophical. And I'm not snobby or politically correct at all. How come? If we are all products of our environment, then how come I am not like other middle class people? It just goes to show that some of us are old souls and can transcend our environment.
We also agreed that Buddhism is a great way to cope with pain, but it does not give you life meaning or purpose. Just meditating all the time to find enlightenment isn't a real goal to live for or aspire to.
It looks like we are on the same page on a lot of things. So we are probably kindred spirits in many ways.
Yeah I've been to Taiwan, Korea and Japan and Taiwan is very similar to those countries in terms of personality and society. Taiwanese are probably the second most polite people I've met, next to Japanese. And You also see alot of hot Korean and Japanese girls with ugly guys and its the same reason - they met through blind dating, and are more comfortable with them. I will say that Taiwan is more open minded out of the 3 and have the least "standards" for appearance. I've seen alot of LGBT support in Taiwan way more than alot of other Asian countries. In Korea for example I have never even seen a single tomboy let alone a lesbian. Taiwan seems to have more support for this. To many people Taiwan seems to be a combination of Chinese culture + Korea/Japan influence. It would be interesting to compare Taiwan with Hong Kong, another Asian economic Tiger with Chinese roots.
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I think ive figured it out. Here are the types of people that fit into Taiwan and the types that don't. To fit into Taiwan, you have to share these traits with them:
- You are narrow minded, small minded, and petty, albeit polite.
- You are very closed and repressed, hence you don't mind if others are too, or if your culture is.
- You are superficial, shallow, simple and hollow on the inside, underneath your polite exterior.
- You are unnaturally polite and politically correct. You place politeness above honesty, even if that means lying. In your book, bullshit is ok as long as it's polite.
- You are fake and indirect. Not too honest or straightforward. Not authentic or genuine.
- You are very reserved and non-expressive. You carry a stoic face and do not like to express your emotions or feelings.
- You act very serious, stern and prim and proper. You are never playful or carefree. Your laughter, if any, is very restrained.
- Your only major interests in life are FOOD and FINANCE/MAKING MONEY, just like a typical Taiwanese is. You aren't interested in much else and definitely not in any abstract topics.
- You are never content enough to relax, have peace, be happy and enjoy life to the fullest. You always feel like you need to earn more and more money without end. It's never enough.
- You conform and follow whatever society says, and you believe everything the media tells you. Though you don't talk to strangers, still you think like the crowd.
- You are a closed person and don't talk to strangers unless it's for business. You don't like meeting new people and find it awkward and uncomfortable. You only like people from familiar circles at school and work. You dislike novelty, and always stick to familiarity.
- You care a lot about what everyone thinks and your whole identity and self-worth are dependent on it. You are hung up on "saving face".
- You are weak and live in fear. You shy away from any confrontation, even if you are in the right. You are scared to death of conflict and fighting and always imagine the worst consequences. You yield to your enemies rather than stand up to them.
- You are very petty, judgmental and dislike others easily. If someone is different from you, you dislike them and shut them out of your social circle politely by simply ceasing all contact with them. You have no curiosity about new ideas or people different from you, and you aren't interested in learning anything from them. You are shallow, even if you don't know it.
- If you are a girl, you are not only hollow, superficial and small minded, but you are petty and hateful as well. You dislike others who are different than you and you cut them off. Often, you cut off people for no reason, simply because you are bored and have no social skills or interests. You are essentially soulless and a total dud in personality, though you act very polite in public. Since you are not a person of substance, you do not seek people with any substance either.
- Originality and uniqueness turns you off and intimidates you and makes you feel uncomfortable, because you are a soulless drone and cannot stand to see someone who is too genuine or free and makes you see how inauthentic you are.
- You are two faced in that you can show someone a friendly polite face, yet in the back if your mind, hate their guts and want nothing to do with them.
- You find essays like this one to be very offensive because in your world, opinions must always be politically correct. So authentic essays like this to you is like sunlight is to vampires, making you cringe in fear at the light. Moreover, too much authenticity acts like mirror to reveal your artificiality to yourself, which you prefer not to face, so you despise it instead.
Now I don't know about you, but I share NONE of the traits above, thus I am a 100 percent MISFIT in Taiwan, understandably. But if you do share these traits, you will like Taiwan and feel more positive about it and praise it more. You will fit in and get along better with Taiwanese, even if you don't have any deep bond or connection with them (since you don't need one anyway, as hollow/superficial types aren't seeking deep connection with others). On the other hand, you will feel very alienated, weird and out of place in Taiwan if you have these following traits:
- You are a deep thinker with a rich soul and intellect. You are an intellectual or freethinker type. Or a freespirit type.
- You are too open minded and broad minded.
- Your personality is very genuine and down-to-earth. You are real and no-nonsense and you hate fakeness and BS.
- You are very honest, straightforward and blunt. You place truth and honesty over politeness, and you hate bullshit.
- You are a truth seeker or philosopher and don't like being restrained by political correctness.
- You are unique and a freethinker who thinks for yourself. You like to explore new ideas and discuss them.
- You have a wide variety of interests, both practical and abstract. You are curious about many things and seek to constantly learn and grow in knowledge and understanding.
- You are playful, carefree and relaxed, a freespirit type.
- You are motivated by imagination, creativity and originality.
- You are open and relaxed with strangers. You love to meet new interesting people of substance.
- You don't care about what others think as long as you are true to yourself and your principles and maintain your integrity.
- You are very brave, strong and courageous. You will stand up for what you believe in, even against the majority or a person of authority. You are willing to fight for what's right. Your admire brave heroes such as those in fairy tales and epic films. You identify with resilient fighters who never give up, such as Rocky Balboa.
- You do not find essays like this offensive, because they are truthful and honest, which are pluses in your book. You do not demand that all opinions be politically correct. You embrace the truth, and do not fear it.
What do you think? Are these lists of traits accurate and true?
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- Joined: July 18th, 2016, 2:39 pm
Winston, we have discussed these things in person. You know my views
I met a lot of people in Taiwan who were into technological gadgets, finance, trendy food and fashion - things that don't really float my boat. I vibe better with Argentina where people are into psychology, literature and history. I even struggle in my own country sometimes where people are very into DIY home improvement, the property market and sport (although I do like watching sport), but not abstract intellectual topics.
In Taiwan I did feel bourgeois prudishness and judgmentalism under the guise of Chinese tradition and family values. That got me down. I taught many capable, yet miserable work orientated conformists. I think they found my teaching style not to have enough structure for them. When I reached Indonesia some things seemed wonderful, like every time I stopped to have coffee the staff and other customers at the cafe talked to me. In Taiwan I went to a cafe every day and no-one ever talked to me...I tried talking to them sometimes but it didn't work. I wouldn't go as far as to say the people there were soulless, but certainly they never seemed interested in me, or offered me much chance to get to know them. After two weeks in Indonesia I longed for Taiwanese trains and buses though...I could barely squeeze into my seat on most, and those buses had to be jam-packed before they would leave. One bus I boarded took two hours to fill up, and then with the traffic it took another two hours to travel 20 kilometers! The grass is rarely greener my friend, it's just different grass. Having lived, worked and learned languages in Argentina, Chile, Brazil, China, Taiwan, Indonesia, Australia and New Zealand I think I'm qualified to say so. I've also travelled to Eastern and Western Europe, the States, Colombia and a bunch of other countries in Asia including Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong and Laos. I guess listing that stuff sounds like bragging, maybe it is - but I'm just saying I'm a guy who's been in the game a while and hopefully my view is fairly well rounded.
At the end of the day I got out of Taiwan what I could, I have some good memories from there - more travel than social ones. Also, I've voted with my feet, I'm no longer in Taiwan now.
What do you want? To be proven right, to be vindicated? You knew about Taiwan and told the world the truth against the odds? Come on man - we all want you to be happy, appreciate your parents and the peace and quiet of Chiayi...but then book a two week trip to Shenzhen (or Angeles). They have decent internet there don't they? Comfortable hotels for a cheap price? And of course big parks
Even Billy knows that, just ask Mr S!
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Yeah but what ive done is unique and courageous. No one has ever dared list all those traits of Taiwanese people. No one. Not one. Its all very revealing isnt it? The way i break it all down.
- Site Admin
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- Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm
But el caudillo, isnt the long list of Taiwanese traits i describe above accurate and true and insightful? That's the question. Who has the guts to make a list like that? Lol. No one. That makes me one of a kind. Lol.
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