Quality on Filipina sites has hit an all time low

[Rock]

It may be that quality of available ladies on Filipino dating sites has deteriorated in last couple years but I don't know. Let's assume it has.

I think dating sites in a given country evolve. One hypothesis is that they go through stages. They grow for a few years, becoming more popular and trendy and attracting larger numbers and even higher quality. But eventually, they peak and start to go downhill. As the mining process plays out, the local image and reputation of this dating option gets tarnished as the few and far between cases of successful relationships get contaminated by guys and girls who play the numbers, serial date, or monger. New crops of better quality coming of age girls are less likely to sign up. So the pool of girls naturally declines to the types of girls who are more suited to pump-and-dump, soft p4p, or are for various reasons desperate. I've heard people say that dating sites in Bangkok peaked in effectiveness for westerners around 2011-12 for example.

Another factor is the growing GDP per capita here which slowly does create alternative opportunities for young attractive women. No matter how concentrated wealth is at top, if the pie is growing, some of it always trickles down. One source I checked has PPP GDP per capita here registered as having increased a total of 45% in the decade between 2005 and 2015.

But I believe there is good news too, at least from my perspective. Anecdotally, it seems the number of more attractive, educated, and healthy people here has also increased significantly. Winston noted this too last time he visited Angeles, Pampanga a year or so ago. I visited the Philippines as long as 10+ years ago and back then, I really didn't see many attractive people at all. They were shorter too and the vibe of the place was more dangerous and ghetto like. The were far fewer modern malls and condos. Only thing better was traffic. And if the economy here does continue on it's path of high growth rates, and infrastructure investment gets ramped up, we may soon get to stage of reverse brain drain mentioned in another post (my response to Starchild on New Yorker article). That in turn would improve the local quality pool even more.

So perhaps we've reached stage where the traditional sites are losing their attractiveness as a dating and social portal, at least for westerners. It's up to the creative expat to discover new ways to meet potential partners if that's what you are here for.

Social media and smartphones may have contaminated a lot of people too. But not everyone. In fact, the trend can be used as a kind of filter. Those educated, middle class, yet down to earth people who are strong enough to resist getting sucked too much into that world have already proven they stand above the crowd in terms of character, IQ, and independence. These types may be ideal for certain sincere expats who wanna find a compatible Filipina for long term relationship.

Focus on the positive and keep the hope alive. Negative beliefs are the mother of negative outcomes. Maintaining a positive attitude and focusing on what you want to achieve may not guarantee success. But if you are consistent, that sort of mindset will definitely improve your odds and big luck is much more likely to come your way eventually if you stay prepared for it.

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Thank you! Yes my wife graduated from MSU as well. I think it's a decent school. Her English was quite good when I met her which was a plus.

In retrospect, I think 3 years was say too long! But I was newly divorced and I wanted to make sure I wasn't jumping into anything too fast. Thanks for bringing up the Senior Citizen comment But in all seriousness, you do want to wait a bit. I think it's dangerous to jump in too quickly as you want to get a true appreciation for what you are getting yourself into. We have a tv show over here called 90 Day Fiancé. It focuses a small group of participants going thru the K1 Visa process. It's evident to me that the vast majority of them have rushed into relationship too fast. Maybe I am too old school but finding a wife and instant gratification shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

Regarding whether you are an attractive proposition or not seems like you are limiting yourself. IMHO, you need to get some irons in the fire. If done correctly, finding a filipina wife is an AMAZING experience. I'd make full use of your opportunity over there. I wish everybody on this forum could experience what I have. A good filipina is smart, sexy, sweet, caring, supportive. Heck, I'd even put some personal ads in the local papers. Why not? "Nice kano wanting to meet lovely nursing student."

You never know until you try, right? Hoping you find the right lady like I did

LOL you know, after I read your earlier reply I checked out for direct flights from Davao to Cagayan de Oro: could not find any. I was in Butuan once, with the Rotary friends, and it took a relatively smooth (because we left at 4 AM!) 5:30 hours' drive from Davao. Iligan will be at least 7 hours by car, and my devvies say 13/14 hours by bus. Would I bother taking the bus and spending a few days there, for the right girl? Probably yes, but at the moment I am simply too busy with the business to afford the luxury of a trip like that. All I am doing is Davao-Manila-Davao and spending countless Friday and Saturday evenings in the airport. And the few times I followed my friends' advice to date in Manila, because "that's where the smart girls are", I could find nothing else than a bunch of over-stressed BPO workers on night shifts, and obviously the obligatory number of scammers. A good 70% of the girls on Tinder are ladyboys or call girls advertising their services. Maybe there are also good women there, but again, no time to dig deeper than a few chat lines and they will be soon forgotten.

Not the right time, I am afraid. If it's a curse, it's a curse I placed on myself. "Hai voluto la bicicletta, ora pedala!" (You wanted a bike, now keep pedaling!) they say in Italy.

Thanks for the encouragement anyway. Things will get better...eventually...

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Social media and smartphones may have contaminated a lot of people too. But not everyone. In fact, the trend can be used as a kind of filter. Those educated, middle class, yet down to earth people who are strong enough to resist getting sucked too much into that world have already proven they stand above the crowd in terms of character, IQ, and independence. These types may be ideal for certain sincere expats who wanna find a compatible Filipina for long term relationship.

I am in Manila almost every week now, and I often contact women on Tinder (I have no dating site profiles anymore). The smarter women I sometimes chat to are 30+, unattractive and - what's worse - overworked and over-preoccupied by their life routines, first and foremost how to feed their children, abandoned by their absentee ex-bfs or desaparecido OFW hubbies.

Those who are young and pretty are fully absorbed by the cult of the self(ie) - what else could one expect from a millennial? - and those who don't have time for social media posting, hardly have time to nourish their love lives.

[Rock]

1. I remember planning to meet a friend in Cagayan de Oro who worked in Davao (her uncle was captain of a military base down there so she was building a career in the service too). I was preparing to fly from Zamboanga City and last minute, I found out she thought we were supposed to meet in Davao and was already there. Good thing that flight had a quick stopover in Davao. So I just got off there and didn't continue on to CDO. So at that time anyway, there were direct flights from Davao to CDO (back when they still used the old airport). Now I still think there is at least one daily direct flight with Cebgo which goes from Davao to new CDO/Illigan airport. Not sure if the Cebu Pacific Zamboanga-Davao-CDO flight still runs now though.

2. It sounds like now is not a good time for serious courting in your case. Building a sustainable business like yours from scratch OR finding and winning over a suitable life partnership quality girl are both formidable tasks which would seem to require complete focus over an extended period of time to maximize odds of success.

And I don't see how anyone could take Tinder seriously. It's just another vehicle women around the world use to get attention and perhaps hook-up from time-to-time, maybe with compensation, maybe without. You might as well focus fully on your business until it gets to the stage you can step back to a degree and reduce your day-to-day roles. In the meantime, if you need sex and Tinder or dating sites here don't hack it, fly to Thailand and get some higher end P4P from time to time. You may think that's the loser route. Well if it is, there sure are a lot of rich, successful, good looking, young, married, single, etc. men who are losers too. They just don't broadcast it. You're a man and if you are reasonably healthy, you probably get frustrated at times. Just IMO.

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1. I remember planning to meet a friend in Cagayan de Oro who worked in Davao (her uncle was captain of a military base down there so she was building a career in the service too). I was preparing to fly from Zamboanga City and last minute, I found out she thought we were supposed to meet in Davao and was already there. Good thing that flight had a quick stopover in Davao. So I just got off there and didn't continue on to CDO. So at that time anyway, there were direct flights from Davao to CDO (back when they still used the old airport). Now I still think there is at least one daily direct flight with Cebgo which goes from Davao to new CDO/Illigan airport. Not sure if the Cebu Pacific Zamboanga-Davao-CDO flight still runs now though.

Interesting story. How long ago was this? I found it weird that Davao airport is starting to fly to China (Xiamen) and might soon fly to Japan, yet they haven't boosted connectivity with other major cities in Mindanao. The only options I have seen is Davao-Cebu-CDO. Davao-Zamboanga does exist, as you probably know.

2. It sounds like now is not a good time for serious courting in your case. Building a sustainable business like yours from scratch OR finding and winning over a suitable life partnership quality girl are both formidable tasks which would seem to require complete focus over an extended period of time to maximize odds of success.

You couldn't have stated it better. But believe me, after 18 months without even the chance to find anything beyond the usual poor morena or single mom looking for stability, the solitude and frustration are getting excruciating.

I have actually started to envy those middle-aged guys who come here for 2 or 3 week and have all the time of their lives to whisk their girl (inevitably the poor morena type) off to nice beach resorts and take professional pre-wedding photoshoots. Last time I was in Samal for a single half-day and a bath was last April, and only because it was a Rotary club event.

And I don't see how anyone could take Tinder seriously. It's just another vehicle women around the world use to get attention and perhaps hook-up from time-to-time, maybe with compensation, maybe without. You might as well focus fully on your business until it gets to the stage you can step back to a degree and reduce your day-to-day roles. In the meantime, if you need sex and Tinder or dating sites here don't hack it, fly to Thailand and get some higher end P4P from time to time. You may think that's the loser route. Well if it is, there sure are a lot of rich, successful, good looking, young, married, single, etc. men who are losers too. They just don't broadcast it. You're a man and if you are reasonably healthy, you probably get frustrated at times. Just IMO.

Unfortunately, the way I see it, the business will need my full(est) attention for at least another 6 months. I have never had problem getting sex and probably never will. It's just that it's getting boring and I know I am only getting the girls who nobody else (but a foreigner) would date. This is what 99% of the people who travel to the Philippines don't get. Or they get it, but their suspension of belief and their "rockstar" delusions take the lead.

The one thing I would never do is go P4P. I can't even get an erection knowing the girl only sees me as a transaction culminating in a bit of cash changing hands.

I certainly don't feel a loser. I have my assets and my condo in Davao, I could stop this and start "the good life" any time I want. But I need to prove myself that I can build the "to go place" for enterprise software outside Luzon. It's just that it becomes excruciatingly painful when business has to always take priority over any personal benefit or gain. I haven't had a steady income since January 2015 and something worth calling "a holiday" since September 2014.

But ya know...if starting a successful company was easy, everybody would do it.