Nice story, @MarcosZeitola. Looks like you managed to crack the code and get a female friend to introduce you not the "leftover" friend whom locals (kanto boys and good kids) don't want to pursue, but the "cream of the crop" one.MarcosZeitola wrote: ↑August 29th, 2022, 3:39 pmSo I searched for about six months, by myself. I had asked some people to help me but they weren't all that helpful... I figured I would need someone local to "vouch for me", to gain entry to the type of girl I was truly after. Especially since I am not just after the special faces, but youth as well. Anyway, I dated a few cute girls. But "The One" eluded me. Once I got very close to finding my type, only be sabotaged by a jealous local; only found out about what he did, and who it was, just last week. Shocked me but cannot say I'm surprised.
Anyway I have a close female friend. Not someone I am attracted to, but a friend. She is the one who offered to help me, she said she would "reto" (suggest) me to her friend. And she introduced me to her. This friend was everything I had ever dreamed of... of course the family was initially unsure, since I had an ex-wife and three kids. But I was able to meet with them and charm them. After some "jammings", late night gin & good times, some songs and jokes, the ice was permanently broken. The girl fell for me, as did her family, and me, too... I fell. Hard.
You have to create an incentive for someone to want to help you. Be incredibly specific about exactly what you are looking for. "I am looking for a girl ages 18-24 with a tall nose, nice eyebrows, pale skin... NOT the type you'll see with a foreigner usually who looks like a maid." And then you add, to your poor but helpful friend: "I'll give you a 'finders fee' if you can introduce me to such a girl and vouch for me." Because there's always "the pretty friend", that one friend a girl has who is the cutest in their barkada. Who has a reputation of being the best looking of the whole bunch. Sometimes she's tired of the "chickboys", looking for a real love in a town full of Filipino fuckboys. She may be very receptive... but you need that friend to vouch for you so she'd trust you.
That's your "in". It's what did it for me. The girl I'm with, right now? I've never seen a white foreigner dating a girl with comparable facial features. Let alone a previously married white guy like me with three kids.So I guess I got pretty damn lucky. But I also maintain that it can be done. You just need a little back-up.
The closest I ever got to that was a ladyboy I helped set up a small Internet cafe, who promised me to introduce me some nice girls from her village, Santa Cruz near Davao. She kept her promise because she did introduce me with a very pretty 20-yo girl, fresh out of college, amazing body, face a little bit similar to "Andrea".
Long and short of it:
- she was still a virgin (although, as it usually happens in this case, her BJs were phenomenal and she smelled amazing down there) and
- she liked me but she told me she didn't want to be seen in public with me, because I was too old for her.
That's the episode where I finally got the memo that girls who are worth something, or at least believe that they are worth something, won't see a 40-something foreign divorcee as prime material. Maybe, over time, it would have been possible for me to convince her and have some genuine feelings blossom. Maybe. It surely would have taken more time and hassle than what I was prepared to invest on.
You were lucky, @MarcosZeitola, certainly meeting her family worked well. Speaking of which, even meeting the girl's family may occasionally backfire. In another adventure, I kind of fell for this really sexy morena, beautiful face and a body to die for. I insisted I wanted to meet her family and, one weekend, she took me to her very, very modest (to use a euphemism) home in a Davao barangay. I found out her dad was in jail, her mom was struggling to make a couple of thousands a month by helping out in a foot spa. Her mom and she were, literally, sleeping in a filthy kubo with roaches and mice trotting around, on a dirty, half-broken foam.
I thought I had all the right cards to impress a family so destitute, and I was wrong. The kid was ambitious, she knew she didn't need a 45-yo foreigner if she could more easily get a 28-yo. During my visit to her family, I kind of got along well with her grandpa, a retired seaman with quite a few stories to tell, beer in hand. Apparently, as she told me later, the sight of that made her even more aware of the age gap, since I was someone with more in common with her grandparents than her.
How did it end? With her grandpa still texting me, asking if I wanted to go to a cock fight, or have a beer with him. He didn't stop until I told him, politely, that her granddaughter and I hadn't been a thing for quite some time and it was time to part ways.
I know approaching girls via intros and family bonding is the right thing do to in the Philippines, in fact infinitely more right than the usual dating site avenue most foreigners take. Yet, I would not rule out that a good part of your success with the "family approach" was because, despite your past and your kids, you were still, after all, a young, handsome foreigner.
