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Insights about Filipinas from educated Filipino guys

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Insights about Filipinas from educated Filipino guys

Postby Winston » Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:54 pm

From discussions I had at


it could be possible that your girlfriend loves you and just bugs you for money because she is pressured by her friends or family to get money from you since you are living in.

now if she can't get it from you, then she might get it from someone else by being a 'streetwalker' as someone else said. some of these people live double lives. i've had friends who milk a lot of foreigners but never milk me. as of now i can remember two. one just simply told me that she wants to enter the nightclubs since she was also fond of beautiful girls but she couldn't since unescorted girls are not allowed in. she said that if i bring her in as my date, she will pay for her drinks. the other one just happens to milk foreigners but not filipinos, she was so filthy rich that she said that she had 4 condo units which she could stay in. i actually visited her once in one of the units and it was very nice with airconditioner, she told me to buy pulutan while she would supply the tequila.

oh, btw, i never got intimate with any of them. it was an unwritten rule that we remain friends but i don't court them.

now as for your question on poor families here in the philippines. the culture is quite different. in poor families, when parents hit their 50's they expect their oldest children to help with the finances. a lot of these families actually have children so that their children will financially support them when they grow old. when it comes to streetwalkers, a lot of them come from broken families and the situation becomes worst since there is no father to give them money. so the eldest daughter ends up selling herself to shoulder her parents and her siblings expenses. sometimes the children get married and leave and it is that one daughter that shoulders everything else. in some cases even the brothers refuse to find work and rely on their sister with a rich foreigner to support all of them.

as for women who ask for money for rent. sometimes poor people do that. i've had people ask me for a thousand pesos or a few thousand even though i just met them a few days before. sometimes they want the man to give them an 'indecent proposal'. usually these people never pay the money back. and to make sure that you can't hound them, they change their simcard. i've heard of a woman who actually had a cast made for her arm so that she could fake a broken arm and could ask several thousand pesos from her boyfriend. sometimes they fake a birthday then invite a rich guy in so that he could shoulder the food.

as for some women in the malls, i have heard that some double as prostitutes, but usually the trend now is that they become a girlfriend of several rich men so that legally they can't be called prostitutes. they just call themselves 'mautak'(brainy) or 'praktikal'(practical). they don't call the men who give them money customers, they are called 'boyfriends' or 'mabait na kaibigan'(good friends).

"She is under pressure from her family to support them. She is low energy and doesn't like to work, she wants an easy life and sleeps a lot. So I don't think she can stay in a regular job for long. She was not working when I met her either."

she can of course be an exception but a lot of streetwalkers fit this profile

"She was planning on going to Japan to be a hostess or something, and told me that her friends who worked in Japan never had to sell their body."

they don't have to if the japanese customer is considered their boyfriend. but of course they get an allowance from the japanese. it's a play with words. it really depends on the company they join in japan. sometimes the company forces a quota on you. and if you can't reach the quota you are forced to go home. and in some areas, you will never reach your quota if you don't get laid. because the customers will not come back for you. so what some of these girls do is that they get one japanese boyfriend who goes their everyday and spends for them. and if she screws him. she didn't sell her body since he is her boyfriend.

"One thing I don't get though, if middle/upper class Filipinos do not give allowances to their girlfriends, then why are foreigners expected to? Isn't that a double standard? And what if the foreigner is on a very tight budget with little income or is efficient and not a splurging type? What is the "special custom" then?"

middle/upper class filipinos men usually mingle with middle/upper class filipino women. that class of women usually don't ask for allowances. even the 'mukhang pera'(gold diggers) don't do that, that would be too obvious, they would get married to you and then you're dead since half your wealth would be hers.

a lot of foreigners get women who have a lower financial status, usually high school graduates only. these people may ask for an allowance, specially if the man in question is a foreigner.

try going out with a girl who finished college and whose family owns a car, chances are she won't ask for an allowance.

even if the foreigner is on a tight budget they don't care. i run on a tight budget and a number of these people still expect me to spend for them more than i spend for myself. they expect me to use a taxi with them when i would walk or take a jeep if i were alone. and even if they don't have money they expect me to spend for their cigaretes.

i'm not a foreigner but some people from the lower class treats me the same way. say i ask a waitress with this mentality out. she'll tell me to ask her out only when i get my paycheck so we can eat in a korean or japanese restaurant. but when she goes out with the other waiters or cooks, she's contented with being fed fishballs they buy for her on the street. that's just the way they are.

now this is only some of the lower class from manila. there are people in the lower class of manila who haven't learned the habit of gold digging, or have learned but refuse to do it for ethical reasons. the lower class in the province is something else, they just might even spend for you. it's part of their culture to spend for visitors. when i was in baguio. the girl didn't even want to take a taxi at 2am, she wanted to walk from 'nevada square' to 'red lion'. and at 5am when we finished, she refused to take a cab with me, she even refused to take 20 pesos from me for her jeep fare to go home. the taxi's there in baguio even give you the exact change!

if you really want to know if the filipina girl you're going out with is a gold digger, all you have to do is date her and treat her out to a simple place which she can't brag about to her other gold digger friends. say treat her out and feed her in the fastfoods and don't lend her money and say your broke. tell her you lost everything in your previous divorce.

another way is you can check by the way they talk. if they get bored by talking and just want to party all night and watch bands, that's another sign. it's not because they are illiterate, (it's because they are simply too lazy and have been spoiled rotten by rich suitors). i have met gradeschool boys and girls in the province who i can have a decent conversation with. if they refuse to find a job that's another sign. and if they disappear at night and come back early in the morning, that's another. sometimes they may even disappear for days, then when they come back, they have money.


(from another guy)

Your friend's opinion about Pexers and the lower classes is very accurate and insightful. He is correct in a lot of points. However, your assumption that the women of the lower classes expect allowances from their boyfriends / lovers is an unfair generalization.

However, a general majority of women in the lower classes who have foreigner boyfriends would usually ask for allowances indirectly and not present him a bill for "services rendered for the month of".

They would express it indirectly through "lambing" which is a vernacular term for "sweet talking you into giving them allowance" or "parinig" another vernacular term for very unsubtle hinting.

But it doesn't automatically equate that just because you are a foreigner, that means your gf views you as a money factory. Before you would have even hooked up, she may have assumed or guesstimated your financial capacity and may have influenced her decision to hook up with you (might be your fault if during the courting stage you were showing off your wealth). Because of an unpromised expectation of financial security from the foreign suitor, she may have chosen him over the financially challenged but usually more young and virile local suitor.

The bottom line is, if you think that your girlfriend is in the relationship for the money and you think you cannot provide it, then by all means just drop her and find another girlfriend who is less materially inclined. But I think she also loves you (or has grown to love you too) since she hasn't dropped you yet and is even using her guile to get some money elsewhere (called "delihensiya" in the vernacular).
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Postby Winston » Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:58 pm

BTW, the PinoyExchange folks told me that there is NOTHING in Filipino custom that says a boyfriend or husband must give his partner an allowance. NOTHING! That means we have been deceived if we were told that. Have a look. ... p?t=407542

The thing is, I would respect a custom that applies to locals and foreigners, but one that only applies to foreigners and not to locals I would NOT respect. Such a thing is a mark of greed and designed purely to take advantage of others and make them feel artificially obligated to give their resources against their will. It's sickening. And these days, my tolerance for such things is very short. My short temper is one of my character flaws. And this only makes it worse.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
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Posts: 24284
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